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Downloaded from
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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(duck quacking)
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00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:12,960
(cash register rings)
5
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(quacking)
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(cash register rings)
7
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(duck quacking)
8
00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:40,560
(cash register rings)
9
00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:55,200
(quacking)
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00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:58,280
(cash register rings)
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(quacking)
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(cash register rings)
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00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:30,080
(quacking)
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00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:32,080
(cash register rings)
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(quacking)
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(quacking)
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00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:02,880
(cash register rings,
coins rattling)
18
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(scoffs)
19
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Albert Dooley, the student
voted most likely to succeed
20
00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:36,240
of the class of 1959.
21
00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:38,240
(applause)
22
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:47,680
You lovely big success,
Albert.
23
00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:53,360
Daddy.
24
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:55,360
Daddy!
25
00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:57,680
Oh, excuse me.
Yeah, what is it, son?
26
00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,320
Here's a puppy
Eddie said he'd give me.
27
00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:03,040
- He's a cute one.
- For only $50.
28
00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:07,560
Fifty dollars?
29
00:03:07,640 --> 00:03:11,720
- He has his own pedigree.
- He oughta have his own car.
30
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:16,120
I already picked out
a name for him... Charlie.
31
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:18,440
Good, huh?
32
00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:23,400
Yeah. Yeah, that's fine,
but that's...
33
00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:27,680
I mean, $50,
you know, it's...
34
00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:31,920
Well, there are licences
and vets and shots and...
35
00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:35,880
Think of all the food!
36
00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:37,920
I'd share my food with him.
37
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:41,680
No, Jimmy. Small boys need
all the nourishment they can get.
38
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,880
You're not a small boy.
You could share your food.
39
00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:51,480
Maybe next year,
okay, Jim?
40
00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:56,760
I'll get a job. Rent my room, I'll sleep
in the garage with Charlie. Please.
41
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:01,520
I'm sorry, Jim.
42
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:04,560
I thought you and I
were pals.
43
00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:08,040
Hey, we are pals, pal,
but...
44
00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:11,320
Where am I
gonna get 50 bucks, huh?
45
00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:15,240
I can't even pay
these bills.
46
00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:20,400
Here, Eddie.
Take him.
47
00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:24,720
Bye, Charlie.
48
00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:31,840
Jimmy.
49
00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:35,480
- (door slams)
- Pal?
50
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:40,280
(♪ pop music on the radio)
51
00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:43,200
"Cinnamon."
52
00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:46,040
A bit of cinnamon.
53
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:49,080
Where's the cinnamon?
I just...
54
00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:53,840
Now, it's cinnamon.
55
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,520
"Mustard."
56
00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,440
Huh.
57
00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:10,360
Mustard.
58
00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:19,680
Uh... "curry powder."
59
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,800
And, uh, "garlic."
60
00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:39,280
Garlic?
61
00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:47,760
There must be a simpler way
to make apple sauce.
62
00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:50,000
- (Albert) Katie!
- Yes, dear?
63
00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:53,880
- (music off)
- That was Herman and the Purple Cows.
64
00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:57,400
We have to have another talk
about economising.
65
00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:00,600
Okay. First guess what I'm cooking.
Three guesses.
66
00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:04,120
- Later, okay?
- Try, um, plum pudding.
67
00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:06,280
- Plum pudding.
- Wrong.
68
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,880
Try apple sauce.
69
00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:11,600
Katie, we have to economise.
70
00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:13,640
That's what I'm doing.
71
00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:16,920
I'm making home-made apple sauce
with apples off our tree.
72
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,920
- That's fine.
- Taste it.
73
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:22,720
Tell me if you think
it's too, uh,
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00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:24,840
too ingredient.
75
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:38,600
That's good.
76
00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:42,680
It's really...
It's really good.
77
00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:48,400
You think you should've
peeled the apples first?
78
00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:51,680
Oh, no, see, that's where
all your vitamins are.
79
00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:55,760
In the seeds too?
80
00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:58,880
Albert, you should know.
You're the scientist.
81
00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:03,640
Katie.
82
00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:06,680
Now, there must
be someplace...
83
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:09,120
that we can cut down.
84
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:12,360
- This bill from the dress shop...
- I know where we can cut down.
85
00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,760
- Where?
- Your lunch money.
86
00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:16,400
What?
87
00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:19,200
It makes no sense
spending money...
88
00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:22,640
when you have a wife who could
pack you a nice lunch.
89
00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:26,440
Darling, that's too much bother
for you to go to every morning.
90
00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:29,840
- To get up...
- Oh, pooh. What is a wife for?
91
00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:32,320
It's just a part
of our marriage vows.
92
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,840
To love and obey,
till death do us in.
93
00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:43,920
(chuckling)
94
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:45,960
Thank you, darling.
95
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:51,720
(clicks tongue)
96
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:04,040
Don't tip your lunch.
The apple sauce is on top.
97
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,920
Bye, sweetie.
98
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:13,080
Daddy, Eddie says
this is my last chance.
99
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,720
- Your last chance for what, pal?
- For Charlie.
100
00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:17,720
- Who?
- The puppy.
101
00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:23,520
Don't bother your father with that now.
He's got little enough on his mind as it is.
102
00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:29,080
Mr. Hooper next door,
he has a dog.
103
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,720
He can afford to feed it.
It's a big one.
104
00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:35,240
Mr. Hooper works for the US Treasury,
and they have our money.
105
00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:37,680
He could afford a giraffe.
106
00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:41,160
- Finley!
- Giraffe!
107
00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:44,760
- (engine revs, backfires)
- Goodbye, pal.
108
00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:47,960
(coughing)
109
00:08:49,560 --> 00:08:51,480
Oh, dear.
110
00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:56,240
I wish this fool professor made enough
money so I could investigate him.
111
00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:03,520
(horn honking)
112
00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:11,520
Mornin', Fred.
113
00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:15,120
(tyres screech)
114
00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:26,600
- Why not drop a bomb on us, Arvin?
- It'd be quicker.
115
00:09:26,680 --> 00:09:31,200
Don't blame us. It was you old cats who
invented the internal combustion engine.
116
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,800
Peace.
117
00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:35,040
(tyres screech)
118
00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:40,040
You're a lawyer. Do something
about those Wadlow boys.
119
00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:43,440
- Something legal, preferably.
- Did you say "legal" or "lethal"?
120
00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:46,360
Either way, I'll take the case.
I'll take any case.
121
00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:49,360
- I need some rent money.
- You too, huh?
122
00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:53,160
Sometimes I wish I'd been born rich
instead of brilliant.
123
00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:01,920
Mornin'.
124
00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:11,560
- (chicken clucking)
- Morning, group.
125
00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:14,520
Velma.
Are you awake and ready?
126
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:18,000
- (pig oinking)
- Arnold, wake up, wake up.
127
00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:21,040
You two behave yourselves today.
Clyde.
128
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,640
You ready for a big day?
Very good.
129
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:25,680
Mr. Duck.
130
00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:27,840
(quacks)
131
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,680
- Are you gonna shape up today?
- (quacking)
132
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:34,720
Hmm? For me?
Please?
133
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:37,280
- (quacks twice)
- Good.
134
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:42,200
If you flunk any more of those tests,
you're gonna be a gone goose.
135
00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:44,480
(whimpering)
136
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:48,360
Another dropout performance
like yesterday,
137
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:51,360
you'll have Dr. Gottlieb
climbing the walls.
138
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:55,160
He takes a dim view
of any duck...
139
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:58,720
that doesn't know a yellow button
from a red one.
140
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:01,040
(quacking)
141
00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:07,800
(screeching)
142
00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:13,760
Be quiet.
What's the matter?
143
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,640
Good. You're eating
the apple sauce.
144
00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:18,800
You like it?
145
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:21,880
I knew you were weird,
but that's ridiculous.
146
00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:26,520
You must have got
your share too, huh?
147
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:30,480
- I'll get you a bicarb of soda.
- (man) Dooley!
148
00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:32,520
- Professor Dooley.
- Dr. Gottlieb.
149
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:34,520
- What are you doing?
- I'm ready.
150
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:37,400
You realise how
far back you're putting the schedule?
151
00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:40,520
- I'm sorry.
- What's the matter with the chimp?
152
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,920
Uh... he's nervous.
153
00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:46,240
- Nervous?
- About the tests, sir. (chuckling)
154
00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:48,720
(fake laughing)
Well, get on with it.
155
00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:53,520
- No duck!
- What?
156
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:55,560
- No duck.
- But the schedule calls...
157
00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:58,080
- Revise it.
- Sir, I feel if we test him...
158
00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:02,000
Do you know what the data is on the
learning potential test for that...?
159
00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:04,400
- Minus 11.
- It might be a slow learner.
160
00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:06,600
- Slow?
- Yes, sir.
161
00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:11,120
This duck could shed new light on the
rates of learning for various animals.
162
00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:14,240
All right.
But it's his last chance!
163
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:17,040
Thank you, sir.
164
00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:19,600
- Last!
- (door slams)
165
00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:22,200
I understand.
You hear that, chum?
166
00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:25,120
You gotta shape up or...
167
00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:29,280
You got apple sauce all over
your face. Come here.
168
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:33,200
- (clucking)
- Took him ten seconds last time.
169
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,080
Let's see if he'll do better.
170
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,800
- (clucking)
- Excellent.
171
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:47,480
Well, Mr. Pig, what are you
gonna show us today?
172
00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:53,720
Beautiful!
Ho-ho-ho!
173
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,680
- Superb.
- Superb.
174
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:03,480
No, Dooley. That duck couldn't
begin to handle these tests.
175
00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:06,320
Over here.
176
00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:10,480
- (quacking)
- This is the simplest device we've got.
177
00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:15,440
The duck had 49 hours of practice on
this one, so it's time we see results.
178
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:23,560
(Albert) Okay, duck, go for the yellow
button, the centre. The yellow button.
179
00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:28,720
He's got it now.
He's got it now.
180
00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:31,960
- (bell rings)
- Get that stupid duck out of here!
181
00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:35,360
Wait a minute. Just one more time.
Just one more time.
182
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:38,040
For what? He's useless,
completely unresponsive.
183
00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:40,920
All right, fella, once more.
Yellow button, centre.
184
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:43,640
- Centre, yellow button.
- You don't give up.
185
00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:46,960
- There he goes for the red button again.
- No, he's got it now.
186
00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:51,040
- (buzzing)
- (dog barking on tape)
187
00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:55,280
- (barking continues)
- (quacking)
188
00:13:56,680 --> 00:14:00,640
- At least he's reacting.
- Oh, no!
189
00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:07,360
(quacking)
190
00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:12,160
- All right, get that misfit out of here.
- Dr. Gottlieb!
191
00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:15,040
You have to admit that's
an interesting reaction.
192
00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:19,640
- This duck is a fascinating creature.
- (quacking)
193
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,920
What have we got here?
Gamma rays on what?
194
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:31,680
Testing some new
high-resistant silicone oils.
195
00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:34,120
- Phenyl type?
- Yeah.
196
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:37,240
What is the integrated
threshold neutron flux?
197
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:41,440
- (duck quacks)
- What do you mean by that?
198
00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:45,400
- By what?
- Well, you said, "Quack."
199
00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:47,600
Hey, I didn't say quack.
200
00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:49,640
(quacking)
201
00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:54,600
- Holy cow!
- (quacking continues)
202
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:08,080
Oh, Professor.
Is this one of your creatures?
203
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,280
- How did she get in there?
- You tell me.
204
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:12,280
You almost had fried duck.
205
00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,360
Well...
is she okay?
206
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:17,000
Oh, sure, no harm.
Just got a little jolt.
207
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:20,680
But would you please keep
your friends out of our department?
208
00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:23,440
Yeah, okay.
209
00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:25,880
Boy, you really
blew it today.
210
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:29,960
Only thing to do now is find you
a home for retired dropouts.
211
00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:32,960
A duck?
212
00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:36,320
Yeah, that's what it is.
A duck.
213
00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:39,800
(quacking)
214
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:44,080
But I want a puppy.
I don't want a dumb old duck.
215
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,680
I didn't bring it home for a pet.
216
00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:51,320
Then why'd you bring it?
217
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:54,160
It was that or let
the janitor's wife fricassee it.
218
00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:58,320
- It was a washout at the lab.
- Wouldn't a puppy be as cheap to feed?
219
00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:03,160
- We're not gonna keep it.
- He really had his heart set on a puppy.
220
00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:05,880
Katie, now, we've been
through all of that.
221
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:09,200
I'm just trying to find a home
for this poor, stupid duck.
222
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:13,880
Maybe that farmer would take it, the one
that sells us those vegetables I can't afford.
223
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:16,400
- You mean Mr. Gilby?
- Yeah, I guess so.
224
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:19,040
(gasps)
Oh, no, see, dear, you're mixed up.
225
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:22,840
Mr. Gilby is
the bakery truck man.
226
00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:26,240
- Mr. Purdham is the vegetable man.
- Well, Purdham. Okay.
227
00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:29,240
Give it to him.
It'll have a good home on his farm.
228
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:33,240
- Probably eat better than we do.
- Hey, daddy!
229
00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:36,440
I think he likes me.
Watch how he follows me.
230
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:40,400
- Come on. Come on. Come on.
- (quacking)
231
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,520
How would you like
a real great name?
232
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:50,320
Charlie.
You like that, Charlie?
233
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,720
Maybe I can teach him
some tricks.
234
00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:59,200
Him? Good luck.
235
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:03,600
Uh, Albert?
236
00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:05,600
Hmm?
237
00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:08,120
Uh, I was just thinking.
238
00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,200
Good for you.
239
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:14,200
Yeah, uh, instead of giving that
dumb old duck to Mr. Purdham,
240
00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:16,720
uh, maybe Jimmy could
trade it in on a puppy.
241
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:19,720
- Katie, we settled all that.
- Yeah, I know.
242
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:23,640
I mean, it wouldn't cost you anything,
and it might help, uh...
243
00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:26,200
Never mind.
I shouldn't even mention it.
244
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,960
- Mention what?
- Oh, nothing.
245
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,120
I'm sure you'll solve it.
246
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,240
Okay, Katie. Solve what?
247
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:45,080
The generation gap you're creating
between Jimmy over this puppy thing.
248
00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,880
Katie!
249
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,560
Aw, come on, Katie.
250
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:56,880
Honey, you know Jimmy and I have
a very good, close relationship.
251
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,480
Of course you do, Albert.
252
00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:03,000
That's why I didn't
even mention it.
253
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:08,680
(Jimmy) Daddy, daddy, help!
254
00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:10,920
Help!
255
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,680
- (quacking)
- Daddy, help!
256
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:16,240
- He's gonna kill Charlie!
- What?
257
00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:20,600
Gotcha! Ha!
(muttering) Get outta here!
258
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:23,280
- Leave that duck alone.
- Get out of my yard, Dooley!
259
00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:25,720
- That's our duck.
- Well, get him out of my pool.
260
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:28,840
Get your hands
off my skimmer!
261
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:31,360
- Charlie!
- Jimmy, be careful.
262
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:35,080
I got you now,
you duck-billed intruder!
263
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:38,440
Get your hands
off of my skimmer.
264
00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:41,120
Attaboy, Charlie!
265
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:43,120
(Katie) Albert!
266
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:46,480
Get that bird off my slide!
267
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:50,200
- Stop that dog!
- (Jimmy) Go, Charlie, go!
268
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:55,280
Bite him in the tail feathers.
Don't let him get away from you.
269
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,600
- (quacks)
- (Albert) Come here, duck.
270
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:02,440
- If that dog lays a tooth on that duck...
- (barking)
271
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:07,400
- (quacking)
- (Albert) Take your skimmer...
272
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,480
- Hooper, let go!
- You're gonna drown him!
273
00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:13,320
Come here, duck!
274
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:15,480
I'll report you
to the SPCIA.
275
00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:18,280
- Call your dog, Hooper!
- (dog whimpers)
276
00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:21,760
Get this duck out of the pool.
He's contaminating it.
277
00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:26,560
Oh, oh, ohh!
278
00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:29,720
Get your dirty shoes
out of my pool!
279
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:32,920
Why, you hit my husband!
280
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,040
Aah!
281
00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:36,920
Ohh!
282
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:42,160
Come here, Jimmy.
Take the duck.
283
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:45,000
Hurry.
Now hold on.
284
00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:48,200
- Climb up the stairs.
- Come on! Albert, hurry.
285
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:50,480
- Come on!
- Go on! Go on!
286
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,280
Hurry before
the dog gets out.
287
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:56,200
Oh, sic 'em, sic 'em!
288
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:58,280
Go! Give 'em a good one.
289
00:19:58,360 --> 00:20:00,440
Go get 'em, Duke.
Sic 'em!
290
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,000
(barking)
291
00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:12,280
Finley!
292
00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:14,880
What are you doing in there
with your clothes on?
293
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:16,960
Can't leave you alone
for a minute.
294
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:20,440
(angry grumbling)
295
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:26,560
Look, daddy.
Charlie laid an egg!
296
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:28,840
(gasps)
297
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:31,800
Why, Charlie,
you're a mama!
298
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:38,800
(quacking)
299
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:40,400
Twins!
300
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:51,800
(quacking)
301
00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:54,080
Four eggs.
Isn't that something?
302
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:57,920
I don't see how she laid any eggs
with that beast barking at her.
303
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,960
It was that beast
that caused her to do it.
304
00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:03,960
Now, Albert, they hardly
know each other.
305
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:06,080
- (quacking)
- No, I mean that...
306
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:09,680
I know what you mean. Don't
discuss it in front of our S-O-N.
307
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:12,440
We learned that stuff
in school anyway.
308
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:16,480
No, no, no, no. No. It's
a conditioned reflex, you see?
309
00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:20,920
When the dog barks, the duck lays
an egg. It happened once at the lab.
310
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,440
That's not the way my mother
explained it to me.
311
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:26,800
Anyway,
the important thing is...
312
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:29,720
the money we're gonna save
growing our eggs.
313
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:34,200
We're not eating
those eggs.
314
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:39,120
I mean, this duck,
it's strange.
315
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:41,400
Ohh.
316
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:43,680
- (quacking)
- Oh, no, not that.
317
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:48,040
It's an aberration,
a biological mutation.
318
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:50,080
It is?
319
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:52,680
Yeah. I mean, that's a chemically
mixed-up duck.
320
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:55,160
It's even been
radiated and...
321
00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:57,320
We're not eating those eggs.
322
00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:00,280
Good. Then we'll hatch 'em.
323
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:03,400
Albert? Is that all right?
I mean, hatching them?
324
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:07,440
Oh, no. No, of course not.
They probably wouldn't hatch anyway.
325
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:11,760
Only thing to do is bury 'em,
which I'll do after Jimmy goes to sleep.
326
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:24,520
(inhales, exhales)
327
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:52,200
Albert? What the devil
are you doing?
328
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:54,120
Nothing, nothing, nothing.
329
00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:58,200
Digging a hole
at midnight
330
00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:00,720
in your pyjamas
331
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:02,720
is nothing?
332
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:05,000
You know,
I'm digging, digging.
333
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:08,480
- For what?
- Night crawlers.
334
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:13,440
They certainly
lay big eggs.
335
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:18,320
- Oh!
- Go to bed, Albert.
336
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:21,800
You're a nut.
337
00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:38,880
Uh-huh.
338
00:23:43,360 --> 00:23:45,240
Dooley?
339
00:23:45,360 --> 00:23:47,040
Yes.
Yes, Dr. Gottlieb?
340
00:23:47,120 --> 00:23:51,000
- You wanted to see me?
- Yes, a research problem.
341
00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:53,920
Oh. Uh, come on, come on.
342
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:03,840
(sighs)
Sit down, sit down.
343
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:09,960
- Well?
- Dr. Gottlieb, is it possible...
344
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:12,040
In science,
anything is possible.
345
00:24:12,120 --> 00:24:15,960
Yes, but could radiation alter the
molecular structure of an... uh...
346
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:19,040
substance
from organic to inorganic?
347
00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:24,120
So we're a radiobiologist now,
are we, Dooley?
348
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:26,120
Just a minute.
349
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:29,200
Yeah.
350
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:32,800
(clears throat)
Try these for starters.
351
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:35,760
- All I wanted to know...
- The answer is yes.
352
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:40,240
- But what substance?
- Like an egg.
353
00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:44,600
- What kind of an egg?
- Doesn't...
354
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:47,600
(sighs, mutters)
355
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:50,000
Hmm.
Chicken, turkey, duck.
356
00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:53,400
- Duck? Please don't mention duck to me.
- Sorry.
357
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:56,560
Anyway, your experiment
has been done.
358
00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:59,680
1903.
359
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:02,840
It was a young
medical student
360
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,720
at, uh, the Royal
Viennese Hospital.
361
00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:09,600
See, his name was, uh,
Schultz or Schmaltz.
362
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:11,920
Oh, here. Schwartz.
363
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:16,160
"In, uh, in searching
for a chemical background
364
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:18,680
for radiogenic inflammation
from radium,
365
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:23,440
Gottwald Schwartz exposed an egg
to becquerel rays."
366
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:27,440
"Both the organic and inorganic
molecules suffered a change." See?
367
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:28,360
Yes.
368
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:30,880
"There was no change in
the white of the egg,
369
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:32,000
No.
370
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:34,520
but there was conspicuous
change in the yolk."
371
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:38,680
The yolk!
That's it! That's it!
372
00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:46,880
I mean, that's...
(clears throat) quite interesting.
373
00:25:48,120 --> 00:25:53,040
Didn't, uh... change it
into any kind of, uh,
374
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:56,400
metal, did it?
375
00:25:57,120 --> 00:25:59,040
Metal?
376
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:02,600
What do you want, Dooley,
gold?
377
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:11,920
Well, you said anything was possible.
378
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:13,920
Possible, yes.
379
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:17,760
But... making a golden egg?
380
00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:22,760
That's for Aesop's Fables,
isn't it?
381
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:24,760
Yes, yes.
382
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:29,080
But gold has been made, uh,
synthetically, hasn't it?
383
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:32,000
Yes, yes,
with nuclear bombardment,
384
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:35,280
but we know what that costs,
don't we?
385
00:26:35,360 --> 00:26:37,920
- It doesn't pay.
- No.
386
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:40,760
- (phone ringing)
- Excuse me.
387
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:46,400
Dr. Gottlieb.
I'll be right there.
388
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:48,440
Uh, excuse me.
389
00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:52,440
Uh, I have to go recheck
the IQ of the chimp.
390
00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:57,280
Hundred and forty.
Higher than mine.
391
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:28,800
We've run quite a few tests
on that metal of yours.
392
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:31,000
Darndest thing we ever ran across.
393
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:33,400
- But is it...
- You won't believe this report.
394
00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:35,520
- Well, it's wild.
- Then it's not...
395
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:40,840
Look here, Dooley. The metal contains
traces of D-galacturonic acid.
396
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:43,680
Now, isn't that wild?
397
00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:46,000
You know what that is.
That's pectin.
398
00:27:46,120 --> 00:27:47,440
Pectin?
399
00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:50,480
Pectin that's been hydrolysed
under intense heat.
400
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:53,000
Pectin comes
from apple peelings.
401
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:57,120
Apple sauce.
402
00:27:57,200 --> 00:28:00,600
No, it's true. And look,
it also has a trace of garlic in it.
403
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:03,280
I don't wanna hear any more.
As long as it's not gold.
404
00:28:03,360 --> 00:28:05,440
It's practically pure gold.
405
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:07,120
What?
406
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:09,760
But it has some of
the weirdest impurities in it.
407
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:11,840
One element
we can't identify,
408
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:16,000
not related to any of the 103
basic known chemical elements.
409
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:20,640
Mr. Dooley, you didn't get hold
of a moon rock, did you?
410
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:23,280
Moon rock? Me?
No, no, no, no.
411
00:28:23,360 --> 00:28:25,720
I've never even been
out of California.
412
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:29,840
- Where'd you dig up this gold?
- Dig, dig? I didn't dig.
413
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:33,280
- A placer deposit?
- Yes, it was deposited, you might say.
414
00:28:33,360 --> 00:28:35,280
- Thank you very much.
- Wait a second.
415
00:28:35,360 --> 00:28:39,120
- You want your report? You paid for it.
- Yes, yes, yes.
416
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:42,280
Thank you. The report.
Thank you very much.
417
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:48,400
So this is an assayer's report.
So what?
418
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:51,760
That's why I need a lawyer,
to help me incorporate.
419
00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:53,680
Incorporate what?
420
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:57,720
Fred, that sample
is the yolk of a duck egg.
421
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:00,920
(snorts) Oh, come on, Albert.
422
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:03,920
I know how incredible this must sound
to your legal mind,
423
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:07,600
but in 1903
a Viennese scientist...
424
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:10,600
You ever read Aesop's Fables,
the one about the goose?
425
00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:13,440
Should you be driving
in your condition?
426
00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:16,920
I'm telling you, Fred, that fable
may be scientifically feasible.
427
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:20,760
- Pull over, Albert. I'll drive.
- Okay, sceptic.
428
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:24,840
I'm gonna show you one of those
gold eggs actually being laid.
429
00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:35,400
- Watch out, Albert!
- (tyres screech)
430
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:38,760
You crazy,
ding-a-ling driver, Orlo!
431
00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:43,120
Orlo? I'm not even in the car.
That's Arvin. Bigot!
432
00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:48,440
Now, you just lie there
and relax, Finley.
433
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:51,760
Forget all about that nasty,
old treasury office.
434
00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:54,480
Thank you, dear.
You're a good person.
435
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:57,160
(chuckles, groans)
436
00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:02,240
- (engine backfiring)
- (glass breaks)
437
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:04,960
Come on, Fred.
438
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:07,520
Aah! Ugh!
439
00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:11,360
I'll get the duck, make Hooper's dog
bark at it, and you'll see.
440
00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:13,800
Would you please
go upstairs and talk to Jimmy?
441
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:17,240
Not now. I've got news.
Our financial worries are over.
442
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:19,680
Jimmy's broken-hearted
because I was....
443
00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:23,360
You're not listening. We're gonna be
rich beyond our wildest dreams.
444
00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:25,760
Oh, I always knew
you'd make good,
445
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:29,240
even when Papa kept saying,
"Don't marry that no-good, lazy..."
446
00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:31,480
It's nothing I did.
It's Charlie.
447
00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:33,760
Remember those eggs
I was gonna bury?
448
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:37,360
Brace yourself.
They're gold.
449
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:47,720
Well, don't look that way.
I'm not kidding you.
450
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:51,040
- It's true.
- Oh, Albert, I believe you.
451
00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:55,680
- What's the matter?
- I gave the duck to Mr. Purdham.
452
00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:58,080
- (babbling)
- Albert, you told me to!
453
00:30:58,160 --> 00:30:59,400
(babbling)
454
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:01,520
I was sorry I did.
Jimmy's been crying.
455
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:03,920
No, no, no!
456
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,360
Ugh!
Where does Purdham live?
457
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:09,560
- I'm not sure.
- Think, think, think, think, think! Think!
458
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:12,920
Oh, I'm trying.
Ah, oh, ah.
459
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:16,080
- Where does Purdham live?
- Try the cookie jar.
460
00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:18,640
- The cookie jar.
- Where I keep my addresses.
461
00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:22,280
Oh! We've gotta find that duck...
462
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:25,920
before anything
happens to it.
463
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:27,920
"Chicken chow mein."
464
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:30,080
But I... Oh. Oh.
465
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:32,240
Purdham! Purdham!
466
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:35,440
Oak Road. Come on!
467
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:39,040
Get in the car, Fred!
468
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:47,760
- (glass shatters)
- (Jimmy) Daddy, wait!
469
00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:57,640
(tyres screech)
470
00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:02,200
Well, look, I'll, uh,
guess I could...
471
00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:06,840
give you five dollars
for it.
472
00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:10,960
Well, I... I know I never
turn down a good deal.
473
00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:14,040
You'll find the duck in the pen
back of the barn yonder.
474
00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:15,440
Thanks.
475
00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:24,440
Hello, Mr. Purdham.
476
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:26,800
(quacking)
477
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:31,160
Oh, no! There's gotta be
a million of 'em!
478
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:36,080
(all quacking)
479
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:38,640
(Jimmy)
Charlie!
480
00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:41,640
Charlie!
481
00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:45,360
Charlie! Charlie!
482
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:48,840
Charlie!
Where are you, Charlie?
483
00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:50,840
Charlie!
484
00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:55,120
This duck doesn't respond to
normal things, like its name.
485
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:58,160
- (Jimmy) Charlie! Charlie!
- (Katie) Charlie.
486
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:03,320
- You know what we need?
- A good psychiatrist.
487
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:06,800
No. We need something
it does respond to.
488
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:09,960
- (Katie) Oh, Charlie.
- Start barking, Fred.
489
00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:14,000
It's our only chance, Fred.
Bark!
490
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:16,880
- (barking)
- Charlie!
491
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:22,960
- (both barking)
- Oh, Charlie! Charlie!
492
00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:25,440
Wait a minute.
What am I doing?
493
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:30,360
A sane adult with a law degree crawling
around a barnyard, barking at fowls,
494
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:32,680
trying to find a duck
who lays solid gold...
495
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:35,920
Solid gold eggs!
496
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,480
(resumes barking)
497
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:41,040
I'll never
see Charlie again.
498
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:43,880
Come on now. We're not gonna
give up till we're licked.
499
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:46,440
We'll find him.
Charlie?
500
00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:49,840
- Charlie!
- (barking continues)
501
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:55,360
Charlie.
Come on, boy.
502
00:33:57,520 --> 00:33:59,440
Charlie!
503
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:02,440
Charlie.
504
00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:05,360
Hey, where are you goin'?
505
00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:08,120
Hey, they're gettin' away
from us!
506
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:12,880
Come on, Fred!
507
00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:14,960
Whoa, whoa!
Come back, come back!
508
00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:18,240
Whoa, get out, get out! Whoa, whoa!
Get back there.
509
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:20,360
Go back, ducks.
510
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:22,720
- They're in the pond.
- Head 'em off!
511
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:25,160
Back, you ducks!
Get back, ducks. Get back.
512
00:34:25,240 --> 00:34:28,160
Get them out of the water.
Shove them back onto the shore.
513
00:34:30,240 --> 00:34:32,520
Here, here.
What's goin' on?
514
00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:34,320
You said only one duck.
515
00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:36,360
But something
happened to the gate.
516
00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:38,640
Get these critters
back in the pen.
517
00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:41,240
- (Katie) Get back!
- (Albert) Back, back.
518
00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:43,200
- (barking)
- Back, back!
519
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:45,640
- (quacking)
- (barking, yelling continue)
520
00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:49,240
(quacking)
521
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:51,520
Charlie!
522
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:54,880
Charlie!
Oh, Charlie!
523
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:56,880
Daddy! Dad!
524
00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:00,160
I found him!
I found Charlie!
525
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:05,120
Hey. Hey, wait.
Come back!
526
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:07,120
Help me.
527
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:12,200
- I knew I'd find her.
- You sure it's her, son?
528
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:14,960
I know it is.
It's Charlie.
529
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:18,480
There's one way to find out.
Hold her on the ground, Fred.
530
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:24,240
Ruff, ruff, ruff-ruff.
531
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:26,720
Maybe only Hooper's dog
can do it.
532
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:29,800
No reflection on you,
dear.
533
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:33,560
Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff!
Ru-ru-ru-ruff!
534
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:39,080
Why, Albert, you don't sound
like Hooper's dog at all.
535
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:42,800
Uh, he goes more like,
"Woof!"
536
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:44,800
Woof!
537
00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:47,360
Hey, uh, I think
she's got it.
538
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:50,960
Pitch. Pitch.
It might be a matter of pitch.
539
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:54,600
(pitch escalates)
Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff!
540
00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:04,800
(quacking)
541
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,640
Come on.
Yeah, Charlie.
542
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:21,480
What do you think now,
sceptic?
543
00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:26,360
Baby... you're lookin'
at a believer.
544
00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:29,600
Figuring its weight
in troy ounces,
545
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:32,800
at the pegged gold
price,
546
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:35,440
that's over 900 bucks
a yolk.
547
00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:38,400
- That's right.
- And if she laid four eggs in, uh...
548
00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:41,280
- How long did you say?
- About ten minutes.
549
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:44,640
Uh... that would be...
550
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:47,640
over $20,000 an hour.
551
00:36:47,720 --> 00:36:50,760
And if she worked
a six-hour day, uh,
552
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:53,160
give or take a couple
of coffee breaks...
553
00:36:53,240 --> 00:36:56,000
corn breaks...
(chuckles)
554
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:58,080
Al, baby,
555
00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:00,720
we're talkin' about
a $100,000-a-day business!
556
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:04,600
That's right. If I can
find the formula to keep her producing.
557
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:07,520
Oh, you'll do it.
You'll do it.
558
00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:11,440
The big problem is: How do we
legally protect our fortune?
559
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:13,320
Our fortune?
560
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:16,480
Wh-What do you mean,
our fortune?
561
00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:19,520
Look, Al, sweetheart,
562
00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:22,160
I'm only trying
to save you money.
563
00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:26,160
By making me a partner, you'll save
paying me exorbitant lawyer's fees.
564
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:29,320
- Uh-huh.
- I'll have to devote full-time,
565
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:33,440
incorporating a duck and not have
the Internal Revenuers on our neck.
566
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:37,480
- I got your clothes all nice and dry for you.
- Oh, fine.
567
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:41,360
How did you manage
to do this, Katie?
568
00:37:41,480 --> 00:37:45,360
- It was no trouble, really.
- Thanks.
569
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:48,680
Anyway, the thing to do is to sit tight
until I figure things out.
570
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:51,360
And don't tell anybody
about this, especially...
571
00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:53,360
- Hooper?
- Right.
572
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:57,520
We don't want that government
stool pigeon snooping around.
573
00:37:57,600 --> 00:38:00,800
The first thing I'm gonna do is get rid
of that junk I'm driving.
574
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:03,520
I saw the most fantastic
yellow sports car.
575
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:07,200
Hold it! Don't spend
any of that money yet.
576
00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:10,200
- What?
- No changes in your living standards.
577
00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:13,040
- You mean, not pay our bills?
- Bills, fine.
578
00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:16,480
We can't raise suspicions
until we get this legally protected.
579
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:22,800
Now, let's try and get
some sleep, hmm?
580
00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:25,120
Or, uh,
581
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:29,360
do you think we oughta get the duck
and bark out a few more thou?
582
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:32,840
No, the duck's asleep with Jimmy,
and I don't want Jimmy disturbed.
583
00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:36,560
And, Fred, don't forget
to bring my robe back.
584
00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:40,920
- That's not part of the deal.
- Okay... partner.
585
00:38:43,760 --> 00:38:46,480
(door opens, closes)
586
00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:57,000
Albert? Do you think now we can
afford to reshingle our house?
587
00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:01,640
Reshingle our house?
588
00:39:01,720 --> 00:39:04,080
We could reshingle
the Pentagon.
589
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:06,160
We could buy the Pentagon.
590
00:39:06,240 --> 00:39:09,400
Well, what would we do
with it?
591
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:12,920
Katie, I'm only trying to give you
an idea of our potential.
592
00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:15,680
We have what other men
have only dreamed of.
593
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:19,280
(sighs) It's kinda scary,
isn't it?
594
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:21,600
You bet it is.
595
00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:24,280
Albert, just how rich
will we be?
596
00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:27,920
So rich that we could not
possibly spend it all.
597
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,040
- We could try.
- Wait a minute.
598
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:32,800
- I just want to help all I can.
- That's fine.
599
00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:35,800
Don't get carried away.
We must keep our sense of values.
600
00:39:35,880 --> 00:39:38,560
Aesop's Fable warns us
against avarice.
601
00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:41,200
- Against who?
- Greed, greed.
602
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:44,400
Fellow in the fable,
he let greed destroy him.
603
00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:47,120
We're gonna play it cool,
keep our feet on the ground.
604
00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:49,760
- Albert?
- Hmm?
605
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:53,440
What?
606
00:39:56,400 --> 00:40:00,320
Let's take our cool feet
and go to bed.
607
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:04,720
Okay, honey.
608
00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:25,160
Cute.
609
00:40:25,240 --> 00:40:28,000
You oughta close the window.
He might catch cold.
610
00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:30,040
Oh. Oh, right.
611
00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:01,080
Good idea.
612
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:20,640
Now what?
613
00:41:20,720 --> 00:41:23,640
Some sense of values.
614
00:41:23,720 --> 00:41:25,840
What do you mean?
615
00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:28,520
Boy, he sure was right.
616
00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:32,880
- Who was?
- You know.
617
00:41:39,680 --> 00:41:41,040
I do?
618
00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:43,280
Aesop!
619
00:41:47,840 --> 00:41:50,160
Jimmy, your lunch.
620
00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:55,880
Be sure and take good care
of Charlie while I'm gone.
621
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:59,400
Don't worry, I will.
Now, run along.
622
00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:02,240
And don't let Mr. Hooper's dog
get him either.
623
00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:05,240
Jimmy, hurry up.
You're gonna be late for school.
624
00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:07,840
- (quacking)
- (phone rings)
625
00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:18,520
Yes. Uh, who?
626
00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:20,800
(quacking)
627
00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:24,840
Oh, uh, the bank.
628
00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:27,680
Well, uh, hi!
629
00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:30,840
Bad cheques? Uh, uh...
630
00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:33,400
Well, you printed them.
631
00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:36,840
Uh... Oh, now,
632
00:42:36,920 --> 00:42:41,320
how could a big bank like you have
insufficient funds and stay in business?
633
00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:44,600
No. No, Mrs. Dooley,
not us, you.
634
00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:47,480
We've explained that you
cannot write cheques
635
00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:49,440
for more money
than you have.
636
00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:51,520
You can be arrested
for that.
637
00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:54,880
No, please don't do that. Please just
don't call Mr. Dooley.
638
00:42:54,960 --> 00:42:59,840
I can get the money somehow. But could
you just hold on the phone just a minute?
639
00:43:12,240 --> 00:43:15,760
(dog barking,
duck quacking)
640
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:31,520
Mr. Meaker, I, uh,
641
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:34,480
I guess you'll just have to
call my husband about that...
642
00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:38,880
Oh, wait, wait.
643
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:42,360
Uh, I'll be right down.
644
00:43:44,240 --> 00:43:46,760
And what is this,
Mrs. Dooley?
645
00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:49,440
I'm overdrawn, and that's
to un-overdraw me.
646
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:53,360
Yes, you are overdrawn.
647
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:56,560
But what is this thing?
648
00:43:56,640 --> 00:43:58,600
Thing?
649
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:03,600
(whispers) That's gold,
worth over 900 troy ounce dollars.
650
00:44:03,680 --> 00:44:06,840
And that's my
deposit slip for it.
651
00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:10,160
- You recognise that, don't you?
- One moment, please.
652
00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:17,160
(phone rings)
653
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:33,120
(clears throat)
654
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:39,520
- Next, please.
- This way, please.
655
00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:43,640
Wh-What kind of a bank
is this anyway?
656
00:44:51,360 --> 00:44:52,880
Sit down.
657
00:44:57,720 --> 00:45:02,960
Mrs. Dooley, we can hardly
take a trinket for a deposit.
658
00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:06,880
Trinket? Haven't you bankers
ever heard of gold?
659
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:11,840
Mrs. Dooley, even if that were
gold bullion, there's nothing I can...
660
00:45:11,920 --> 00:45:13,000
Bullion?
661
00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:15,920
Processed gold as distinguished
from raw gold.
662
00:45:16,040 --> 00:45:19,800
The only thing we can do with this
is turn it over to the Federal Reserve.
663
00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:22,880
That wouldn't do very much
for your account, would it?
664
00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:25,800
I should say not. I'll just take it
to another bank.
665
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:28,720
They'll have to do
the same thing.
666
00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:32,400
The only possible place you can
take that is to a refinery.
667
00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:34,440
Refinery?
668
00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:51,520
- (door opens, closes)
- Hi!
669
00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:53,960
Hi, honey.
670
00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:55,960
Where'd you get the hat?
671
00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:58,040
What hat?
672
00:45:58,120 --> 00:46:01,440
Oh, now, Albert,
it was on sale.
673
00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:05,080
If you wrote a check for that hat,
we're overdrawn again.
674
00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:08,480
No, we're not.
I deposited over $900 today.
675
00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:14,040
- Where did you get $900?
- From the refinery.
676
00:46:16,040 --> 00:46:20,000
- You haven't been in the eggs?
- No, not those. Charlie laid one for me.
677
00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:25,960
Well, why did you take it
to the refinery?
678
00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:28,040
The bank told me to.
679
00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:30,120
The bank?
680
00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:33,720
You took it to the... Well, did you
tell the newspapers too?
681
00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:36,600
Well, no, Albert,
just the bank.
682
00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:40,080
They said if I didn't cover my bad
cheques, I was gonna be arrested.
683
00:46:40,160 --> 00:46:43,120
- Would you rather I got arrested?
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
684
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:45,760
- No, no!
- Some husband. He wants his wife in jail.
685
00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:49,880
Didn't you hear Fred say not to tell
anybody and not to spend the money?
686
00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:52,960
- But what's the use of having it?
- (door closes)
687
00:46:53,040 --> 00:46:55,120
Hi, partners.
688
00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:57,440
- Don't tell him what I did.
- What did she do?
689
00:46:57,520 --> 00:47:00,120
- Sold an egg to a refinery.
- Good!
690
00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:04,240
That's all we can do. We don't
have a licence to handle gold.
691
00:47:04,320 --> 00:47:06,600
- Then get us a license.
- Oh, sure.
692
00:47:06,720 --> 00:47:09,600
Can you see going to the
US Treasury Department and saying,
693
00:47:09,720 --> 00:47:13,760
"I'd like a gold licence for my
duckie who lays gold eggs"?
694
00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:16,800
Couldn't Hooper get it?
He works for the US Treasury.
695
00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:20,880
He'd confiscate our duck so fast,
it'd singe its feathers off.
696
00:47:20,960 --> 00:47:24,400
- Get all the gold off the premises.
- Why?
697
00:47:24,520 --> 00:47:30,440
Federal gold regulations. You could get
ten years for hoarding. Read this.
698
00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:34,520
We'll have to think up a good story
to tell the refineries.
699
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:36,080
Why?
700
00:47:36,160 --> 00:47:40,600
You try to peddle gold duck eggs,
they'll lock you up in the nut farm.
701
00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:43,040
Well, I did it,
and they didn't lock me up.
702
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:45,920
Yes, but you're...
703
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:50,640
Wait a minute. You didn't tell them
where the gold came from, did you?
704
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:53,920
- Well, he asked me.
- Oh, no.
705
00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:56,920
Now the whole world
will be after that duck.
706
00:47:57,320 --> 00:48:00,480
- What did he say when you told him?
- He just laughed.
707
00:48:01,680 --> 00:48:03,680
- He laughed?
- Uh-huh.
708
00:48:05,520 --> 00:48:09,040
He just... laughed?
709
00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:11,960
(chuckling)
Hee-hee-hee!
710
00:48:12,040 --> 00:48:14,280
Do you hear that, Albert?
He just laughed!
711
00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:17,120
Don't you see?
She solved our whole problem.
712
00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:20,040
She can tell them the truth,
they'll never believe it.
713
00:48:20,120 --> 00:48:23,040
They won't lock her up,
no matter how nutty it sounds.
714
00:48:23,120 --> 00:48:25,040
- Listen, sweetheart...
- Fred, Fred.
715
00:48:25,120 --> 00:48:28,160
I'm not so sure
I want my wife...
716
00:48:28,240 --> 00:48:31,680
- What is that, Fred? A new suit?
- Ah! Listen, sweetheart.
717
00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:35,720
- Here's a list of refineries.
- Don't sell too many eggs at one time.
718
00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:39,600
Fred, what have you...
You got a new briefcase too.
719
00:48:39,680 --> 00:48:41,320
It's nothing, Al baby.
720
00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:43,640
Keep moving
to different refineries,
721
00:48:43,720 --> 00:48:45,880
otherwise it might look suspicious.
722
00:48:45,960 --> 00:48:50,480
Got it. Uh, listen, could I buy
some new clothes to wear for this?
723
00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:53,480
Oh, no. No, no, no.
724
00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:58,280
We mustn't spend the money.
725
00:49:06,080 --> 00:49:08,960
- Mrs. Dooley?
- Yes.
726
00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:13,520
This is exceptionally
high-grade ore.
727
00:49:13,600 --> 00:49:16,560
- Our cashier is making a cheque for you.
- Thank you.
728
00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:20,680
These, um... These nuggets
are very interesting.
729
00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:24,040
- Identical size and shape.
- Yes, I noticed that.
730
00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:26,720
I was curious as
how they got that way.
731
00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:30,240
Would you believe
a duck laid them?
732
00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:32,640
A... A duck laid 'em?
733
00:49:34,080 --> 00:49:35,840
Oh...
734
00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:40,600
- Wh-What kind of duck was that?
- A white one.
735
00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:43,680
A white one. Little white duck.
(laughing)
736
00:49:43,760 --> 00:49:46,120
- Oh, thank you. There you are.
- Thank you.
737
00:49:46,200 --> 00:49:49,360
Mrs. Dooley, listen.
About these nuggets...
738
00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:52,040
Yeah. I really have to dash.
Bye-bye.
739
00:49:52,120 --> 00:49:56,320
- We don't have your address.
- That's all right. I have it.
740
00:50:12,160 --> 00:50:16,240
Oh, Treasury Department?
This is Carter down at Alco.
741
00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:20,400
I got something really odd here.
You might want to check it out.
742
00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:50,000
(imitating engine revving,
gears shifting)
743
00:51:03,880 --> 00:51:05,280
Beauty.
744
00:51:07,240 --> 00:51:10,360
Say, uh, what's the price
of a car like that?
745
00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:14,600
$7,995.
746
00:51:14,720 --> 00:51:17,880
- It's not even a dozen eggs.
- I beg your pardon?
747
00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:22,840
Nothing. You, uh... You wouldn't
happen to have a layaway plan?
748
00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:26,400
- Hardly.
- No, I didn't think so.
749
00:51:26,480 --> 00:51:29,680
Well, I can't buy it
now, but, uh...
750
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:32,960
I'll be back.
751
00:51:35,280 --> 00:51:37,600
That's funny.
(laughs)
752
00:51:37,680 --> 00:51:39,920
(indistinct chatter)
753
00:51:46,280 --> 00:51:48,560
(low chatter)
754
00:51:53,720 --> 00:51:56,000
According to
the phone calls...
755
00:51:56,080 --> 00:52:00,280
that have been pouring into this
US Treasury Department office,
756
00:52:00,360 --> 00:52:02,880
this map represents
certain refineries...
757
00:52:02,960 --> 00:52:05,440
that have been
receiving these...
758
00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:07,840
odd gold nuggets.
759
00:52:07,920 --> 00:52:10,520
And we don't know
just who the gang is,
760
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:14,320
but, undoubtedly, it's an underworld
operation, huh?
761
00:52:14,440 --> 00:52:16,880
Why would they be
spreading those nuggets
762
00:52:16,960 --> 00:52:18,880
around all those
various refineries?
763
00:52:18,960 --> 00:52:21,200
You figure it's
Mafia-controlled, Chief?
764
00:52:21,280 --> 00:52:25,040
- (Chuckles) Probably something worse.
- Worse?
765
00:52:27,720 --> 00:52:32,440
Gentlemen, they may have learned
how to make gold.
766
00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:35,920
Well, that's
not very probable.
767
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:40,200
That can only be done by atomic
bombardment, and the cost is prohibitive.
768
00:52:40,280 --> 00:52:42,320
I know that, Hooper.
769
00:52:42,400 --> 00:52:45,080
The point I'm trying to make
is they've found a way
770
00:52:45,160 --> 00:52:48,400
to make gold cheap enough
to put on the market.
771
00:52:48,480 --> 00:52:51,880
Our top chemists can't even
identify some of the elements,
772
00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:57,520
and there are traces of such bizarre
impurities as... apple pectin.
773
00:52:57,600 --> 00:53:01,200
(laughing)
Apples in gold?
774
00:53:01,320 --> 00:53:03,480
(chuckles)
Don't laugh, Hooper.
775
00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:07,920
Remember what happened to good old,
ordinary bread mould, don't you?
776
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:09,520
Penicillin.
777
00:53:10,560 --> 00:53:13,680
But, uh, Mr. Morgan here
of the Federal Reserve Bank...
778
00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:16,800
has something further
to say to us on the subject.
779
00:53:17,720 --> 00:53:19,560
Gentlemen, this...
780
00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:25,160
this thing
just cannot happen.
781
00:53:25,240 --> 00:53:29,400
I mean, money,
money is the greatest...
782
00:53:29,520 --> 00:53:32,600
What we've got to do is to...
We have got to ferret out...
783
00:53:32,680 --> 00:53:35,240
and stop this
nefarious gang of...
784
00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:39,360
Well, I, I hesitate
to think...
785
00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:43,000
what would happen if this
were to get out of this room!
786
00:53:43,080 --> 00:53:46,520
- (phone rings)
- Ahem! Excuse me.
787
00:53:46,600 --> 00:53:49,120
Rutledge here.
788
00:53:50,680 --> 00:53:53,920
Yes, he is. Just a second.
Morg, for you.
789
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:56,400
President of the New York
Stock Exchange.
790
00:53:56,480 --> 00:53:59,560
He says urgent.
Take it on one.
791
00:54:03,920 --> 00:54:06,760
Hello, Bob.
Ah, we...
792
00:54:06,840 --> 00:54:08,920
Uh, wh-what rumour?
793
00:54:09,520 --> 00:54:11,840
(laughing)
794
00:54:11,920 --> 00:54:14,080
Synthetic gold?
795
00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:18,480
Where'd you...
Where'd you hear that?
796
00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:20,400
Your barber?
797
00:54:20,480 --> 00:54:23,000
Oh, no, Bob.
798
00:54:23,080 --> 00:54:25,360
No, absolutely nothing
to that, Bob.
799
00:54:25,440 --> 00:54:29,520
Nothing to it at all.
Well, we have had a little flap
800
00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:33,680
about gold around here, but, uh,
everything is absolutely under control.
801
00:54:33,760 --> 00:54:37,760
So you tell the, uh...
Wall Street just to relax, Bob.
802
00:54:39,280 --> 00:54:42,040
Right, Bob.
Right, Bob.
803
00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:45,480
Bye, Bob.
804
00:54:45,560 --> 00:54:48,200
Good heavens.
How would his barber...
805
00:54:48,280 --> 00:54:51,080
(ringing)
806
00:54:51,160 --> 00:54:55,200
Rutledge here.
You again.
807
00:54:55,280 --> 00:54:57,560
Take it on two.
808
00:54:59,520 --> 00:55:02,040
Hello.
Yes, this is he.
809
00:55:03,560 --> 00:55:05,520
The state department?
810
00:55:10,160 --> 00:55:12,760
Hello, Rodge.
811
00:55:12,840 --> 00:55:16,680
Oh, no, Rodge. That-That-That...
That's just a rumour.
812
00:55:16,760 --> 00:55:21,080
Rumour or not, Ed, this could play hard
with our foreign monetary agreements.
813
00:55:21,160 --> 00:55:23,240
(laughing)
Believe me, Rodge,
814
00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:26,160
we are right on top
of this thing.
815
00:55:26,240 --> 00:55:29,240
No, sirree,
not a single foreign country...
816
00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:31,440
will hear anything
about it.
817
00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:34,640
(speaking French)
818
00:55:34,720 --> 00:55:37,320
Get me
the US ambassador.
819
00:55:37,440 --> 00:55:40,800
How dare they meddle with their gold.
It's all ours.
820
00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:44,800
Da, da.
America is producing instant gold.
821
00:55:44,880 --> 00:55:46,800
It is a plot.
822
00:55:46,880 --> 00:55:50,920
If those bloody Americans are fabricating
the stuff, we're done in.
823
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:53,280
Please get formula.
824
00:55:53,360 --> 00:55:57,720
If Americans make it for ten dollar
an ounce, we make it 8.95.
825
00:55:57,800 --> 00:56:01,080
(all speaking
simultaneously)
826
00:56:01,760 --> 00:56:04,000
The White House?
827
00:56:06,800 --> 00:56:08,960
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
828
00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:12,040
(stammers)
Well, I... Well, I...
829
00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:17,280
Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I fully realise that
you have enough trouble without this.
830
00:56:17,360 --> 00:56:19,600
Yes, sir.
I understand, sir.
831
00:56:19,680 --> 00:56:22,160
Quite... Yes, sir.
832
00:56:22,240 --> 00:56:25,480
Thank you, sir.
833
00:56:25,560 --> 00:56:29,080
Gentlemen, I think
your duty is quite clear.
834
00:56:30,320 --> 00:56:31,760
- Rutledge.
- Huh?
835
00:56:32,560 --> 00:56:35,400
It's in your hands.
836
00:56:39,680 --> 00:56:43,160
Well, what leads do you have
on this gang, Chief?
837
00:56:43,240 --> 00:56:45,520
That? Oh. Uh...
(chuckles)
838
00:56:45,600 --> 00:56:47,600
Leads.
839
00:56:47,680 --> 00:56:49,600
Yes, well...
(clears throat)
840
00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:53,360
So far the only lead we have
is the name of the bag man.
841
00:56:53,440 --> 00:56:55,400
(chuckles) Bag woman.
842
00:56:55,760 --> 00:56:58,080
Known under
various aliases,
843
00:56:58,160 --> 00:57:00,800
such as K.W. Dooley,
844
00:57:03,960 --> 00:57:06,600
"Katie Klaus" Dooley,
845
00:57:06,680 --> 00:57:09,440
Mrs. Albert Dooley,
846
00:57:09,520 --> 00:57:11,920
Frances
Abigail Dooley.
847
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:17,120
Uh, what was after Albert Dooley?
Why, that's my neighbour.
848
00:57:17,200 --> 00:57:20,280
- Your neighbour?
- Well, it's not my fault.
849
00:57:20,360 --> 00:57:22,880
I was there first.
They moved in, and I...
850
00:57:22,960 --> 00:57:27,680
and Albert Dooley. I knew there was
something about that professor.
851
00:57:27,760 --> 00:57:30,800
(sheers clipping)
852
00:57:40,920 --> 00:57:45,080
- Really, now. A man of your age.
- Shh!
853
00:57:47,080 --> 00:57:49,560
I was doing
undercover work.
854
00:57:49,840 --> 00:57:52,400
Yes, I can see that.
855
00:57:52,480 --> 00:57:55,320
(car approaching)
856
00:58:02,520 --> 00:58:04,600
(engine backfires)
857
00:58:08,680 --> 00:58:10,600
Oh, hi, neighbour!
(chuckling)
858
00:58:10,680 --> 00:58:12,720
How's it going there,
friend?
859
00:58:13,440 --> 00:58:15,560
Fine, fine.
860
00:58:21,440 --> 00:58:24,240
Oh, um, having
a little vacation.
861
00:58:24,320 --> 00:58:28,520
I thought I'd spend it...
fixing up the house.
862
00:58:28,600 --> 00:58:30,200
Have fun.
863
00:58:39,160 --> 00:58:42,080
Hooper suspects something.
Did you tell him anything?
864
00:58:42,160 --> 00:58:43,880
You forgot to kiss me.
865
00:58:44,080 --> 00:58:47,200
- Answer me. Did you?
- I haven't even talked to him.
866
00:58:47,320 --> 00:58:51,640
- Well, how about Jimmy?
- I talked to him. He's our son, remember?
867
00:58:51,760 --> 00:58:54,520
- I know that.
- Why are you so suspicious of Hooper?
868
00:58:54,600 --> 00:58:56,840
He's being friendly.
That's enough proof!
869
00:58:57,280 --> 00:58:59,600
(horn honks,
engine revs)
870
00:59:10,840 --> 00:59:13,040
Fred!
How about that car?
871
00:59:13,120 --> 00:59:15,920
- How about that? Beauty, isn't she?
- Wait a minute!
872
00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:18,920
What happened to
no change in living standards?
873
00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:21,400
Not only will my new idea
save us a bundle...
874
00:59:21,480 --> 00:59:24,000
- That's the car I had my eye on.
- Good taste.
875
00:59:24,080 --> 00:59:27,440
And old Freddy boy is gonna see
you get a stable full of 'em.
876
00:59:30,280 --> 00:59:33,760
- Why can't we have a car like that?
- Katie, Katie, Katie.
877
00:59:33,880 --> 00:59:37,560
What's the matter? Is that all you
can think about, material possessions?
878
00:59:37,680 --> 00:59:41,280
Here I am, slaving my head
to the bone while you... Albert!
879
00:59:41,360 --> 00:59:43,960
How about that
for a company name?
880
00:59:44,040 --> 00:59:47,280
- Dooley's Wrought Iron Sauna Baths?
- Yeah.
881
00:59:47,440 --> 00:59:49,800
- What does that have to do with gold?
- Nothing.
882
00:59:49,920 --> 00:59:53,040
It's a sure loser,
a great tax write-off.
883
00:59:53,160 --> 00:59:55,800
I can tell you we got
bigger problems than that.
884
00:59:55,880 --> 00:59:58,840
- You mean some new ones?
- Hooper's suspicious.
885
00:59:58,920 --> 01:00:01,520
- Hooper?
- Yeah. He spoke to me.
886
01:00:01,600 --> 01:00:05,680
Besides Hooper, I cannot identify
the radioactive element in our gold.
887
01:00:05,760 --> 01:00:08,400
If I can't do that,
I don't know what its half-life is.
888
01:00:08,480 --> 01:00:12,480
- And if I don't know what its half-life is...
- What is this half-life?
889
01:00:12,560 --> 01:00:15,520
The rate of disintegration
of a radioactive substance.
890
01:00:15,760 --> 01:00:18,400
In other words,
it could run out.
891
01:00:18,640 --> 01:00:21,160
Run out?
892
01:00:21,240 --> 01:00:24,160
You mean our duck
could stop laying gold eggs?
893
01:00:24,240 --> 01:00:26,120
Exactly.
894
01:00:26,800 --> 01:00:29,960
You mean that duck
could be washed up right now?
895
01:00:30,040 --> 01:00:33,360
- It's possible.
- Well, get it, Al. Get it.
896
01:00:33,480 --> 01:00:35,480
Get it and check!
897
01:00:35,560 --> 01:00:37,480
Katie!
898
01:00:37,560 --> 01:00:39,400
Katie, bring the duck!
899
01:00:39,480 --> 01:00:42,400
You don't have to shout.
I have 20-20 hearing.
900
01:00:42,480 --> 01:00:45,240
- Where's Charlie?
- Out.
901
01:00:45,320 --> 01:00:46,680
What do you mean?
902
01:00:46,760 --> 01:00:49,720
Jimmy took him for a ride
with the Wadlow boys.
903
01:00:49,800 --> 01:00:52,240
The Wadlow boys?
Not that!
904
01:00:52,320 --> 01:00:56,480
The way those maniacs drive,
there goes our Charlie! Come on.
905
01:00:56,560 --> 01:00:59,800
You guys said you'd take
me and Charlie for a ride.
906
01:00:59,880 --> 01:01:01,800
Take it easy.
We will.
907
01:01:01,880 --> 01:01:05,000
Can't you just put
the battery... Ow!
908
01:01:05,080 --> 01:01:08,320
- Hey.
- Go help him.
909
01:01:09,360 --> 01:01:14,080
If you're gonna hang around here,
you gotta shape up, okay?
910
01:01:19,840 --> 01:01:22,360
- (Charlie quacks)
- Get that duck off there!
911
01:01:22,480 --> 01:01:25,360
He'll fry! Get him off!
912
01:01:30,680 --> 01:01:34,280
Hey, Arvin, look.
He likes it. Look.
913
01:01:36,800 --> 01:01:39,640
(Arvin) Man, he's outta sight.
914
01:01:42,160 --> 01:01:44,320
(quacks)
915
01:01:44,400 --> 01:01:47,480
Wanna sell him?
We'll give you two bucks for him.
916
01:01:47,600 --> 01:01:51,200
No, sir.
He's my friend.
917
01:01:51,280 --> 01:01:53,440
I got...
I got an idea.
918
01:01:53,560 --> 01:01:55,720
(quacking)
919
01:02:04,920 --> 01:02:07,200
- (♪ radio: rock)
- Hey!
920
01:02:07,280 --> 01:02:10,280
- (all laughing)
- (music stops)
921
01:02:11,480 --> 01:02:14,240
(horn honking)
922
01:02:18,240 --> 01:02:20,800
(Jimmy)
Go, Charlie! Swing!
923
01:02:24,280 --> 01:02:27,040
- Hold on, hold on.
- Hey!
924
01:02:27,120 --> 01:02:29,520
(shouting, laughing)
925
01:02:31,160 --> 01:02:34,000
- What do you think you're doing?
- Don't do that, daddy!
926
01:02:34,080 --> 01:02:36,680
- We're havin' fun!
- The fun's over, son.
927
01:02:36,760 --> 01:02:39,280
But they're going to take
me and Charlie for a ride.
928
01:02:39,400 --> 01:02:44,400
Oh, no! No, no, no, they're not taking
this duck in that deathtrap.
929
01:02:44,480 --> 01:02:47,400
Hold on, Mr. Dooley. Doesn't
that duck belong to Jimmy?
930
01:02:47,480 --> 01:02:50,200
Yeah! You're violating
his civil rights!
931
01:02:50,280 --> 01:02:54,000
It's not a civil rights case.
It's... property rights.
932
01:02:54,080 --> 01:02:56,160
Hitlers!
933
01:02:58,960 --> 01:03:00,960
(barking)
934
01:03:01,040 --> 01:03:04,360
Albert, Jimmy's upstairs crying.
What did you do to him?
935
01:03:04,440 --> 01:03:07,800
I didn't do anything to him.
I was just protecting the duck.
936
01:03:07,880 --> 01:03:10,560
We can't take any more
chances like that.
937
01:03:10,640 --> 01:03:13,440
We have to take it away
from Jimmy altogether.
938
01:03:13,560 --> 01:03:16,400
You can't do that.
Jimmy loves that duck.
939
01:03:16,480 --> 01:03:18,880
It's his pal, now
you've turned against him.
940
01:03:18,960 --> 01:03:20,880
What do you mean?
941
01:03:20,960 --> 01:03:24,360
This is academic if Charlie can't
produce any more. Come on.
942
01:03:24,440 --> 01:03:27,360
- Come on!
- (barking)
943
01:03:29,400 --> 01:03:32,000
(barking continues)
944
01:03:36,760 --> 01:03:39,040
Ah, ha, ha!
945
01:03:57,280 --> 01:03:59,360
(quacking)
946
01:04:13,120 --> 01:04:16,200
- Finley!
- Aah!
947
01:04:17,920 --> 01:04:21,560
Serves you right.
Masher!
948
01:04:31,600 --> 01:04:33,880
Uh, Jimmy.
Hi, Jimmy.
949
01:04:33,960 --> 01:04:39,200
Getting big, aren't ya? Come here.
I got something to show you.
950
01:04:39,280 --> 01:04:41,360
I'm not supposed to go
into your yard.
951
01:04:41,440 --> 01:04:45,520
That's all right. I've got a present
for you. Come on.
952
01:04:45,600 --> 01:04:48,160
(quacking)
953
01:04:48,240 --> 01:04:50,240
- That's for me?
- (chuckles)
954
01:04:50,320 --> 01:04:54,200
If you want it. My little, uh,
nephew outgrew it.
955
01:04:54,280 --> 01:04:57,640
Boy, oh, boy!
956
01:04:57,720 --> 01:04:59,640
Vroom, vroom!
957
01:05:00,160 --> 01:05:03,080
Say, this is a nice duck
you've got here.
958
01:05:03,160 --> 01:05:06,200
I'll bet she lays
a lot of nice eggs, hmm?
959
01:05:06,280 --> 01:05:08,240
Yeah, lots of them.
960
01:05:08,320 --> 01:05:12,840
You know something?
I've never seen a real duck egg.
961
01:05:12,920 --> 01:05:16,480
Do you suppose I could get her
to lay one for me?
962
01:05:16,560 --> 01:05:20,280
I don't know. My dad can.
He barks at her.
963
01:05:20,360 --> 01:05:23,880
He does? He ba... At the...
Barks at the...
964
01:05:23,960 --> 01:05:28,400
Why don't I try that? You come here
and hold her and I'll try it, huh?
965
01:05:28,480 --> 01:05:30,440
- Here we go.
- (barks)
966
01:05:31,840 --> 01:05:33,800
(barking)
967
01:05:36,680 --> 01:05:39,200
Anything happen
back there? No.
968
01:05:39,280 --> 01:05:41,320
(barking)
969
01:05:41,400 --> 01:05:43,800
(dog barking)
970
01:05:45,320 --> 01:05:47,480
(barking)
971
01:05:49,880 --> 01:05:53,160
- Come home now, Jimmy.
- But look at the bike Mr. Hooper...
972
01:05:53,240 --> 01:05:56,160
Right now, Jimmy.
And bring Charlie. Hurry.
973
01:06:00,200 --> 01:06:02,280
And you, Mr. Hooper,
974
01:06:02,360 --> 01:06:04,280
stealing
your neighbour's eggs.
975
01:06:04,400 --> 01:06:07,080
Aren't you ashamed?
976
01:06:10,520 --> 01:06:11,760
(sighs)
977
01:06:11,840 --> 01:06:15,440
(stammers)
That's right. Albert, he knows!
978
01:06:15,520 --> 01:06:18,200
Well, no, he didn't get
the egg, but...
979
01:06:18,280 --> 01:06:22,840
I can't keep the duck locked up
all the time. It's only human, you know.
980
01:06:24,600 --> 01:06:27,160
Yes. All right.
981
01:06:29,240 --> 01:06:31,520
Crisis, Fred.
Hooper's hip.
982
01:06:31,600 --> 01:06:35,040
I'll meet you at the house as quick
as I can sneak away from here.
983
01:06:35,120 --> 01:06:37,160
Dooley!
984
01:06:38,360 --> 01:06:40,320
- (squealing)
- Dooley!
985
01:06:40,920 --> 01:06:42,320
Dooley!
986
01:06:42,400 --> 01:06:46,760
What he has is, uh...
(clears throat) this little duck.
987
01:06:48,520 --> 01:06:52,160
- Did you say "duck"?
- Yes. Duck.
988
01:06:53,320 --> 01:06:55,520
(laughs)
I got it.
989
01:06:55,600 --> 01:07:00,080
Evidently some kind of a new, uh,
gangland code word.
990
01:07:00,200 --> 01:07:04,280
Oh, no, just plain duck.
You know, quack, quack.
991
01:07:04,360 --> 01:07:07,040
And this duck
lays gold eggs.
992
01:07:07,120 --> 01:07:10,160
It's true. I mean,
I saw it happen.
993
01:07:10,240 --> 01:07:12,400
They bark at it.
994
01:07:12,480 --> 01:07:15,600
(chuckles)
They bark at it?
995
01:07:15,680 --> 01:07:18,000
Yeah, they bark at it, like a dog.
(barking)
996
01:07:18,080 --> 01:07:22,960
They bark just like... And that causes
the duck to lay these, uh... gold eggs.
997
01:07:29,840 --> 01:07:30,960
Lay?
(chuckles)
998
01:07:31,680 --> 01:07:34,960
- Why, I did it myself.
- You?
999
01:07:35,920 --> 01:07:38,080
You laid a gold egg,
Hooper?
1000
01:07:38,160 --> 01:07:41,840
Oh, yeah. It wasn't easy, but...
No! I didn't...
1001
01:07:41,920 --> 01:07:45,160
I barked at it.
The duck, it laid the gold egg.
1002
01:07:45,240 --> 01:07:48,680
(chuckles)
Oh, yes, well...
1003
01:07:48,760 --> 01:07:51,440
Certainly very interesting,
Hooper.
1004
01:07:54,720 --> 01:07:58,440
Look, why don't you
stop by my office sometime tomorrow...
1005
01:07:58,520 --> 01:08:02,560
and you and me
have a little chat?
1006
01:08:02,640 --> 01:08:05,200
But, Chief, wait a minute.
I know it sounds...
1007
01:08:05,280 --> 01:08:08,200
You confiscate the duck,
and I'll prove it.
1008
01:08:08,280 --> 01:08:12,080
(chuckles)
Hoop.
1009
01:08:13,280 --> 01:08:15,840
How long you been
with the department now?
1010
01:08:15,920 --> 01:08:19,360
- Well, it was after Prohibition.
- Uh, Chief.
1011
01:08:19,440 --> 01:08:23,880
There may be something to this. I checked
with a Dr. Gottlieb at the university lab,
1012
01:08:23,960 --> 01:08:27,480
and he said something about Dooley
trying to make gold out of eggs.
1013
01:08:27,560 --> 01:08:30,480
I thought he was putting me on.
But now...
1014
01:08:30,560 --> 01:08:33,560
Aren't those nuggets all about
the same size as an egg yolk?
1015
01:08:33,640 --> 01:08:35,920
So... Stop that!
1016
01:08:36,000 --> 01:08:38,920
It's all some
fairy-tale talk...
1017
01:08:39,000 --> 01:08:43,200
- Sure, Chief, but look at the facts.
- (phone ringing)
1018
01:08:44,440 --> 01:08:46,560
- (low chatter)
- Hooper here.
1019
01:08:46,640 --> 01:08:50,520
Yes, Mr. Morgan. No, we haven't
struck yet, but it's a duck.
1020
01:08:50,600 --> 01:08:53,800
- Lays gold eggs. Duck.
- Let me have that.
1021
01:08:54,680 --> 01:08:57,560
Hi, Morg.
Rutledge here.
1022
01:08:57,640 --> 01:09:00,560
(laughs)
Thank you. Same to you.
1023
01:09:00,640 --> 01:09:05,240
Yes, there does seem to be
a certain degree of duck involvement.
1024
01:09:05,320 --> 01:09:07,600
We don't know just ex...
1025
01:09:07,680 --> 01:09:10,440
Oh, no, duck.
D-U... Yeah.
1026
01:09:10,520 --> 01:09:12,960
Oh, not a word.
Not a word's gotten out.
1027
01:09:13,040 --> 01:09:16,280
A... A duck?
Uh, quack, quack, quack, quack?
1028
01:09:16,360 --> 01:09:19,960
Try to trade them for it.
Offer them all their gold.
1029
01:09:20,040 --> 01:09:23,920
Sell all our mines and buy up every
bloody duck from here to Cape Town.
1030
01:09:24,000 --> 01:09:26,800
Get the blueprint
of a US duck.
1031
01:09:26,880 --> 01:09:30,400
Make same thing.
Plastic, half-price.
1032
01:09:30,520 --> 01:09:33,000
(all speaking
simultaneously)
1033
01:09:35,040 --> 01:09:37,120
Now, just let me
say this about that.
1034
01:09:37,840 --> 01:09:39,800
Get that duck.
Do you understand?
1035
01:09:39,880 --> 01:09:42,680
- Get that duck.
- Bye-bye.
1036
01:09:46,080 --> 01:09:49,600
All right, men.
We're moving in.
1037
01:09:50,240 --> 01:09:51,600
Here's the strategy.
1038
01:09:53,120 --> 01:09:55,240
(engine backfires)
1039
01:10:02,400 --> 01:10:05,080
- Where's Charlie?
- Upstairs with Jimmy.
1040
01:10:05,160 --> 01:10:07,240
Good.
Where's the egg?
1041
01:10:07,320 --> 01:10:09,840
That's what we want. We got
to get rid of the duck.
1042
01:10:09,920 --> 01:10:13,240
You got any more of these?
We gotta get rid of 'em.
1043
01:10:13,320 --> 01:10:14,760
Albert.
What are you doing?
1044
01:10:14,840 --> 01:10:16,920
- I handle the eggs.
- I'm trying to help.
1045
01:10:17,000 --> 01:10:19,600
I know and I'm telling you
I'm the egg man!
1046
01:10:22,600 --> 01:10:25,880
- Finley, where are you going?
- Not now, Eunice, please.
1047
01:10:25,960 --> 01:10:28,840
- Let go of my egg.
- It's my egg, too, Albert.
1048
01:10:28,920 --> 01:10:32,320
This is enough! Albert, go upstairs
and get the duck.
1049
01:10:32,400 --> 01:10:38,280
Now, wait just a minute, Katie.
I will decide what I am going to do!
1050
01:10:41,360 --> 01:10:43,560
I'm going upstairs
and get the duck.
1051
01:10:47,920 --> 01:10:51,000
(knock at door)
1052
01:10:51,080 --> 01:10:53,000
(knocking continues)
1053
01:10:56,120 --> 01:10:58,800
Oh. Hello there, neighbour.
I, um...
1054
01:10:58,880 --> 01:11:02,560
I thought you'd like to meet my
colleagues at the treasury department.
1055
01:11:02,640 --> 01:11:05,280
- This is Mr. Rutledge, Smith...
- It's a pleasure.
1056
01:11:05,360 --> 01:11:07,800
I hope you can come back
when I'm not so busy.
1057
01:11:07,880 --> 01:11:09,000
Mr. Dooley.
1058
01:11:09,120 --> 01:11:14,040
Being treasury men doesn't mean you can
barge in without a search warrant.
1059
01:11:14,120 --> 01:11:15,440
Right here.
1060
01:11:15,520 --> 01:11:17,520
Uh... Oh.
There you are.
1061
01:11:18,240 --> 01:11:22,080
Dooley, Mr. Rutledge
wants to see your duck.
1062
01:11:22,440 --> 01:11:24,120
What duck?
1063
01:11:24,200 --> 01:11:27,560
- Come on now, Dooley.
- You mean my little boy's pet?
1064
01:11:27,680 --> 01:11:30,400
Mr. Dooley,
we have an eyewitness...
1065
01:11:30,480 --> 01:11:33,320
who will attest to the fact
that you have a duck
1066
01:11:33,400 --> 01:11:35,840
that lays... gold eggs.
1067
01:11:35,920 --> 01:11:38,000
Gold eggs?
1068
01:11:38,080 --> 01:11:40,440
Why'd you do a dumb thing
like that for?
1069
01:11:40,520 --> 01:11:42,720
$41,000 worth
of eggs,
1070
01:11:42,800 --> 01:11:45,840
and not one cent of income tax
has been declared.
1071
01:11:45,920 --> 01:11:48,440
This duck of yours could be
1072
01:11:48,520 --> 01:11:51,600
the most single valuable asset
in the United States today.
1073
01:11:51,680 --> 01:11:54,440
That duck is a, uh...
natural resource.
1074
01:11:54,520 --> 01:11:56,560
- Like Hoover Dam.
- Uh... (sighs)
1075
01:11:56,640 --> 01:11:59,760
That duck is entitled to the protection
of the US Government.
1076
01:11:59,840 --> 01:12:02,920
(Fred) You have no proof that
my client's duck lays gold eggs.
1077
01:12:03,000 --> 01:12:07,560
I understand that, uh... that the duck
will produce on command.
1078
01:12:07,680 --> 01:12:11,120
That's right. I've done it myself.
You bark at it.
1079
01:12:11,200 --> 01:12:13,240
I'll get the duck.
1080
01:12:13,320 --> 01:12:15,680
Now, wait a minute.
You have your rights.
1081
01:12:15,760 --> 01:12:19,880
- I'd like to confer with my client.
- You got 30 seconds.
1082
01:12:22,000 --> 01:12:24,440
(quacking)
1083
01:12:27,200 --> 01:12:28,640
Are you outta your mind?
1084
01:12:28,720 --> 01:12:31,720
I'll bark in the wrong pitch,
and she won't produce.
1085
01:12:31,800 --> 01:12:33,760
- She won't cross us up?
- No way.
1086
01:12:37,400 --> 01:12:40,000
- I'll get the duck.
- I think I'd better.
1087
01:12:40,080 --> 01:12:43,120
He might not give it to you. He's not
crazy about you.
1088
01:12:43,200 --> 01:12:45,840
- Beckert, don't let her out of your sight.
- No.
1089
01:12:45,920 --> 01:12:48,800
I am not going upstairs
with some strange man.
1090
01:12:48,880 --> 01:12:51,120
It's okay, Katie.
1091
01:12:56,160 --> 01:12:59,040
(quacking)
1092
01:13:04,160 --> 01:13:06,800
- He's gone.
- The duck?
1093
01:13:06,880 --> 01:13:09,520
- Jimmy.
- Went out the window with the duck.
1094
01:13:09,600 --> 01:13:11,520
- They're both gone?
- You tricked us.
1095
01:13:11,600 --> 01:13:13,920
- Shut up!
- Don't just everybody stand there.
1096
01:13:14,000 --> 01:13:16,600
- Go out and find him.
- I'll handle this.
1097
01:13:16,680 --> 01:13:18,680
Beckert, Smith,
Forbes, outside.
1098
01:13:18,760 --> 01:13:21,800
Deploy, cover the area.
Hooper, stick with me.
1099
01:13:21,920 --> 01:13:24,200
Katie's right.
We have to find that duck.
1100
01:13:24,280 --> 01:13:26,640
Not the duck, Fred,
my son!
1101
01:13:26,720 --> 01:13:30,720
Hey, Mrs. Hooper. Did you see
the Dooley kid come out of his house?
1102
01:13:30,800 --> 01:13:33,040
- With a duck?
- I sure did.
1103
01:13:33,120 --> 01:13:36,040
He got a bicycle out of
our garage and took off.
1104
01:13:36,120 --> 01:13:38,880
- Which way did he go?
- That way. Oh!
1105
01:13:38,960 --> 01:13:41,880
Hey, Forbes!
Come on! Let's go!
1106
01:13:41,960 --> 01:13:44,720
Eunice, why don't you
watch what you're doing?
1107
01:13:44,800 --> 01:13:46,760
- (groans)
- Ah!
1108
01:13:46,840 --> 01:13:50,240
Poor Jimmy. If we'd never gotten
that darn duck.
1109
01:13:50,320 --> 01:13:53,400
Honey, we'll find him.
1110
01:13:59,480 --> 01:14:02,000
(tyres squealing,
engine revving)
1111
01:14:19,880 --> 01:14:23,160
There's the bike.
Come on.
1112
01:14:24,320 --> 01:14:27,200
- (quacking)
- Look!
1113
01:14:28,640 --> 01:14:30,440
Turn around and let's go!
1114
01:15:00,840 --> 01:15:02,720
There, Chief.
1115
01:15:04,000 --> 01:15:06,160
(tyres squealing)
1116
01:15:15,800 --> 01:15:17,880
Search that truck.
1117
01:15:19,200 --> 01:15:21,360
Get up.
1118
01:15:21,440 --> 01:15:24,200
- Not in there. Not in there.
- Huh?
1119
01:15:24,280 --> 01:15:26,280
Hey!
1120
01:15:26,360 --> 01:15:29,040
- What are you bums doin' in my truck?
- Sorry, sir.
1121
01:15:29,120 --> 01:15:32,240
This is US official United States
Government business.
1122
01:15:32,320 --> 01:15:34,520
We know you got
a duck here somewhere.
1123
01:15:34,600 --> 01:15:36,360
Duck?
1124
01:15:36,560 --> 01:15:40,480
Hey, I know.
This is Candid Camera, right?
1125
01:15:40,560 --> 01:15:43,520
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Where is it?
1126
01:15:43,600 --> 01:15:45,800
Huh? Huh?
Where is it?
1127
01:15:51,280 --> 01:15:53,560
Hooper, check that garbage can.
1128
01:16:00,440 --> 01:16:02,440
Okay, Mac. Move.
1129
01:16:09,680 --> 01:16:13,760
Let's check the rest of the alley.
There's no sign of him here.
1130
01:16:17,840 --> 01:16:20,360
- There they are. Follow them!
- Wait for us!
1131
01:16:26,920 --> 01:16:29,480
Come on, boy.
Come on.
1132
01:16:29,560 --> 01:16:31,800
- (quacking)
- Come on.
1133
01:16:34,880 --> 01:16:37,560
Charlie!
1134
01:16:37,640 --> 01:16:39,480
Charlie!
1135
01:16:44,560 --> 01:16:46,800
(quacking)
1136
01:16:50,000 --> 01:16:52,960
- (barking)
- (quacking)
1137
01:16:53,040 --> 01:16:55,440
- What are you doing?
- Charlie?
1138
01:16:55,520 --> 01:16:58,400
Stop it!
Come here! Oh!
1139
01:16:58,480 --> 01:17:00,840
(brakes screech,
cars crashing)
1140
01:17:02,920 --> 01:17:05,360
The guy in the truck
swerved to miss the duck.
1141
01:17:05,440 --> 01:17:07,120
It's Jimmy.
1142
01:17:07,200 --> 01:17:08,960
What could I do?
1143
01:17:09,040 --> 01:17:11,800
What are you,
some kind of a nut?
1144
01:17:11,880 --> 01:17:14,240
- Come on. Come on.
- Don't let 'em get Charlie.
1145
01:17:14,320 --> 01:17:17,160
- Who's after him?
- Everybody, even the government.
1146
01:17:17,280 --> 01:17:19,440
The government?
Come on, Arvin. Hurry.
1147
01:17:19,520 --> 01:17:23,360
- All right. Cool it.
- Come on, Charlie. You're mine.
1148
01:17:25,280 --> 01:17:28,520
There they are!
The Wadlows have 'em.
1149
01:17:31,160 --> 01:17:35,720
Never mind that! Get up here.
Move that car outta the way!
1150
01:17:37,080 --> 01:17:40,280
- (growls, barking)
- I said, move it!
1151
01:17:45,320 --> 01:17:47,520
(screaming)
1152
01:17:48,920 --> 01:17:51,600
(screaming)
1153
01:17:56,400 --> 01:17:57,960
Watch out! Oh!
1154
01:18:11,640 --> 01:18:14,280
Wait. They're always ready.
We need 'em.
1155
01:18:16,000 --> 01:18:19,080
- Get in.
- Should we leave a note for somebody?
1156
01:18:19,160 --> 01:18:22,440
Get in, get in, get in!
1157
01:18:44,000 --> 01:18:46,760
Albert! Jump on!
1158
01:18:53,120 --> 01:18:55,400
(motor humming)
1159
01:18:57,680 --> 01:18:59,920
Whoa! Whoa!
1160
01:19:07,680 --> 01:19:10,080
Stop this thing.
He's gonna be killed up there.
1161
01:19:10,160 --> 01:19:13,880
- Try and lower him.
- How do you work this crazy thing?
1162
01:19:23,200 --> 01:19:27,240
Hey, Fred!
Turn right at the next corner!
1163
01:19:39,720 --> 01:19:41,200
Hey, Fred, watch it!
1164
01:19:42,400 --> 01:19:44,200
That was a red light.
1165
01:19:46,240 --> 01:19:48,680
Look what they're
chasing us with.
1166
01:19:51,120 --> 01:19:54,360
I sure gotta hand it to
your old man, Jimmy. He's somethin' else.
1167
01:19:59,520 --> 01:20:02,240
For crying out loud,
Fred, take it easy!
1168
01:20:02,360 --> 01:20:04,240
Hang on, Albert!
1169
01:20:12,320 --> 01:20:13,720
Fred!
1170
01:20:13,800 --> 01:20:16,720
Fred, what are you
trying to do, kill me?
1171
01:20:34,120 --> 01:20:35,160
Fred.
1172
01:20:36,600 --> 01:20:39,120
You're gonna
"decaptivate" him!
1173
01:20:39,200 --> 01:20:40,600
Fred!
1174
01:20:42,320 --> 01:20:45,480
- What are you trying to pull now?
- What do you think?
1175
01:20:45,560 --> 01:20:47,600
I'm waiting
for a streetcar!
1176
01:20:49,200 --> 01:20:50,920
Go, Forbes.
After 'em.
1177
01:21:04,640 --> 01:21:06,120
Here we go.
1178
01:21:06,200 --> 01:21:08,160
(sirens wailing)
1179
01:21:20,040 --> 01:21:22,960
Get around that fool truck,
and we got 'em.
1180
01:21:27,280 --> 01:21:29,120
Come on. Pass 'em.
1181
01:21:31,720 --> 01:21:33,680
- Fred!
- No!
1182
01:21:47,880 --> 01:21:52,000
- Your dad's cool, but he is a show-off.
- (car horn honking)
1183
01:21:56,920 --> 01:21:58,280
Forbes.
1184
01:22:17,760 --> 01:22:20,520
Hey! Oh! Oh!
1185
01:22:30,920 --> 01:22:34,160
Hold it! Hold it!
You gotta have a ticket!
1186
01:22:41,000 --> 01:22:45,880
Swing on back to that garage, Forbes.
We got 'em now.
1187
01:22:47,600 --> 01:22:50,000
(tyres screeching,
horns honking)
1188
01:22:55,880 --> 01:22:59,280
- You can't make a U-turn here, stupid!
- (all shouting)
1189
01:23:01,680 --> 01:23:05,280
All right. Thank you.
Move along, folks. Break it up.
1190
01:23:05,360 --> 01:23:08,000
It's official United States
Government business.
1191
01:23:08,080 --> 01:23:10,320
No wonder you got
everything loused up!
1192
01:23:18,320 --> 01:23:21,520
Fred, the boys are
in the parking garage.
1193
01:23:32,840 --> 01:23:35,080
You can't bring this thing in here.
1194
01:23:35,200 --> 01:23:37,680
- My son is in here.
- I don't care who's in here.
1195
01:23:37,760 --> 01:23:39,680
- (honking)
- Get this outta here!
1196
01:23:39,760 --> 01:23:42,840
Will you please take my money?
I'm in a hurry.
1197
01:23:42,960 --> 01:23:45,680
- This mother's child...
- Will you get this thing out!
1198
01:23:45,760 --> 01:23:48,040
Yeah.
1199
01:23:58,000 --> 01:24:00,920
Hey, over there.
1200
01:24:01,000 --> 01:24:04,120
- (quacking)
- Come on.
1201
01:24:04,200 --> 01:24:06,800
Come on!
Run! Move it!
1202
01:24:12,120 --> 01:24:14,480
Over you go, Jimmy.
1203
01:24:14,560 --> 01:24:16,960
(quacking)
1204
01:24:32,360 --> 01:24:34,920
Arvin, a ladder.
1205
01:24:41,000 --> 01:24:43,720
Jimmy!
1206
01:24:47,440 --> 01:24:49,720
Okay, Jimmy. Over you go.
1207
01:24:51,160 --> 01:24:53,680
- (Albert) Jimmy, where are you?
- Be brave, pal.
1208
01:24:53,760 --> 01:24:55,360
Attaboy.
1209
01:24:56,960 --> 01:24:59,040
(quacking)
1210
01:25:02,600 --> 01:25:06,840
Easy does it, boy. Easy does it, Jimmy.
Okay, there you go.
1211
01:25:11,720 --> 01:25:14,240
(quacking)
1212
01:25:19,280 --> 01:25:22,720
- Help!
- (quacking)
1213
01:25:22,800 --> 01:25:26,240
- Hang on, Jimmy, pal. We'll get ya.
- Just hang on, Jimmy.
1214
01:25:26,320 --> 01:25:29,440
- We'll find something...
- Jimmy!
1215
01:25:29,760 --> 01:25:32,320
Jimmy. Don't move.
1216
01:25:32,440 --> 01:25:35,560
Don't move, son.
1217
01:25:44,400 --> 01:25:48,000
- Jimmy.
- Go away, daddy!
1218
01:25:48,080 --> 01:25:52,360
- Jimmy, give me your hand.
- You just want Charlie, that's all.
1219
01:25:52,440 --> 01:25:54,680
Jimmy, put your hand
in mine.
1220
01:25:54,800 --> 01:25:58,120
- Just go away, daddy.
- (creaking)
1221
01:25:58,200 --> 01:26:00,120
Daddy! Daddy, help!
1222
01:26:01,440 --> 01:26:04,200
- Help.
- (creaking)
1223
01:26:04,280 --> 01:26:07,720
- (quacking)
- Help!
1224
01:26:18,600 --> 01:26:20,760
(Katie shrieks)
1225
01:26:22,280 --> 01:26:24,200
(quacking)
1226
01:26:24,920 --> 01:26:26,880
Oh, Jimmy.
1227
01:26:26,960 --> 01:26:29,440
Oh, my son.
1228
01:26:37,080 --> 01:26:39,640
- (quacking)
- Here, Hooper.
1229
01:26:41,880 --> 01:26:44,920
Daddy, don't let 'em
take Charlie.
1230
01:26:45,000 --> 01:26:47,400
Don't let 'em.
1231
01:26:47,480 --> 01:26:50,600
Sorry, son. There's nothing
I can do about that now.
1232
01:26:50,680 --> 01:26:52,960
- (quacking)
- Charlie! Charlie!
1233
01:26:53,080 --> 01:26:55,200
- Wait! Charlie! Charlie!
- Hey, slow up.
1234
01:26:55,280 --> 01:26:57,200
I'm sorry, sonny.
I'm sorry.
1235
01:26:57,280 --> 01:27:01,520
We got to put Charlie under protective
custody for his own good.
1236
01:27:01,600 --> 01:27:05,320
Jimmy, let's go home.
I'll explain it all to you later.
1237
01:27:06,920 --> 01:27:08,920
- So long, gentlemen.
- No.
1238
01:27:09,040 --> 01:27:12,840
You're not going home. You're
coming with us. You're under arrest.
1239
01:27:12,960 --> 01:27:14,280
Arrest?
1240
01:27:14,440 --> 01:27:17,600
Suspicion of violation
of federal gold regulations.
1241
01:27:17,680 --> 01:27:21,160
- He didn't mean to.
- Ah, sorry. Come on, Dooley.
1242
01:27:25,280 --> 01:27:27,320
At least you're lucky,
old boy.
1243
01:27:28,160 --> 01:27:29,880
Lucky?
1244
01:27:30,360 --> 01:27:34,400
My son disowned me. I've lost a fortune.
And I've just been arrested.
1245
01:27:34,520 --> 01:27:38,520
But you've got a darned good lawyer
to handle your case.
1246
01:27:40,000 --> 01:27:42,160
Thanks, Fred.
1247
01:27:47,040 --> 01:27:48,600
(sirens wailing)
1248
01:28:09,880 --> 01:28:12,200
(quacking)
1249
01:28:13,880 --> 01:28:16,920
(man) Set it right on top.
Right on top.
1250
01:28:17,000 --> 01:28:19,880
- Hey!
- (man) What's that duck really worth?
1251
01:28:19,960 --> 01:28:21,960
Sorry, gentlemen!
1252
01:28:22,040 --> 01:28:24,000
You can't get
in the trial.
1253
01:28:24,080 --> 01:28:26,800
We handle riot cases, rapes and spies,
but a rich duck?
1254
01:28:26,880 --> 01:28:29,040
Sorry, gentlemen!
1255
01:28:30,760 --> 01:28:33,360
(quacking)
1256
01:28:33,440 --> 01:28:38,320
Mr. Hooper, did you actually
witness the duck lay a golden egg?
1257
01:28:38,400 --> 01:28:39,640
Yes, sir.
1258
01:28:39,720 --> 01:28:43,680
- Did you make it perform this feat?
- I did, indeed.
1259
01:28:43,760 --> 01:28:48,360
- Would you demonstrate it for us, sir?
- I'd be happy to.
1260
01:28:58,320 --> 01:29:01,080
(quacking)
1261
01:29:01,160 --> 01:29:03,680
(barking)
1262
01:29:09,240 --> 01:29:11,360
It's the wrong pitch,
isn't it?
1263
01:29:11,440 --> 01:29:14,600
- (barking)
- (quacks)
1264
01:29:17,280 --> 01:29:19,280
(barking)
1265
01:29:30,120 --> 01:29:33,360
- Your Honour, he's not doing it right.
- Albert, sit down.
1266
01:29:33,440 --> 01:29:36,760
I'd like to get this out in the open.
If that duck can lay gold eggs,
1267
01:29:36,840 --> 01:29:38,680
we should establish that.
1268
01:29:38,760 --> 01:29:41,680
If we've done wrong,
I will accept the consequences.
1269
01:29:41,760 --> 01:29:46,040
- You're outta your mind.
- If we lose the duck, so be it.
1270
01:29:46,120 --> 01:29:50,400
It's just that now I know
that there are things...
1271
01:29:50,480 --> 01:29:52,920
a darn sight
more valuable to me.
1272
01:29:55,480 --> 01:29:57,480
(quacking)
1273
01:29:59,240 --> 01:30:01,200
Excuse me.
1274
01:30:04,520 --> 01:30:06,960
One more time, Charlie.
1275
01:30:07,040 --> 01:30:09,320
(barking)
1276
01:30:12,560 --> 01:30:15,320
Ha, ha! There it is.
There's the evidence.
1277
01:30:15,400 --> 01:30:20,000
Break that open and look inside of that.
You're gonna get it now.
1278
01:30:28,840 --> 01:30:31,560
(people murmuring)
1279
01:30:34,840 --> 01:30:38,680
It's run out.
Finished.
1280
01:30:40,360 --> 01:30:43,600
- (gavel pounds)
- Case dismissed. Lack of evidence.
1281
01:30:43,680 --> 01:30:47,600
But, Your Honour, the defendant
has $40,000 in various banks.
1282
01:30:47,680 --> 01:30:49,680
(Judge)
Well, good for him.
1283
01:30:49,840 --> 01:30:53,080
Since when are we against the
accumulation of a few dollars
1284
01:30:53,160 --> 01:30:55,600
as a result
of individual initiative?
1285
01:30:55,720 --> 01:30:58,760
This country was built
on enterprise and ingenuity.
1286
01:30:58,840 --> 01:31:01,160
Let's don't lose that.
1287
01:31:01,240 --> 01:31:04,600
Only bad thing is the professor won't
be able to keep more money
1288
01:31:04,680 --> 01:31:08,400
after he pays
his income tax on it.
1289
01:31:10,560 --> 01:31:12,800
You know,
for a worthless creature,
1290
01:31:12,880 --> 01:31:16,800
you sure have caused
a lot of trouble.
1291
01:31:16,880 --> 01:31:19,440
- Here you are.
- Thank you, Your Honour.
1292
01:31:19,520 --> 01:31:22,200
You're wrong about
this duck being worthless.
1293
01:31:22,280 --> 01:31:24,480
It has great value.
1294
01:31:24,560 --> 01:31:28,240
It was just that I was confused
about what that value was.
1295
01:31:38,920 --> 01:31:40,840
(quacking)
1296
01:31:43,560 --> 01:31:44,920
Really?
1297
01:31:46,560 --> 01:31:50,240
- Forever?
- Really forever, pal.
1298
01:31:50,960 --> 01:31:54,040
One word of caution, son.
1299
01:31:54,120 --> 01:31:57,800
If it ever lays
another gold egg,
1300
01:31:57,880 --> 01:32:00,240
bury it... quick.
1301
01:32:03,440 --> 01:32:06,480
(quacking)
1302
01:32:06,560 --> 01:32:09,320
(all cheering)
1303
01:32:16,280 --> 01:32:18,760
(bell dings)
1304
01:32:18,840 --> 01:32:20,960
(quacking)