Hitler speech on record
Roar on record
an inspiration, verner.
A glowing inspiration.
Yes, monsieur le comte.
Speech continues
Let us never forget, verner, never.
No, sir.
We are ready for the appointment, sir.
The appointment?
Yes, thank you, verner.
Speech stops
we must never, ever forget.
Now, verner.
We've lost him!
Did you see his face?
No, sir.
We're getting rusty, verner.
Our reflexes are slowing down.
I want what that man has, verner.
And I will have it.
Bonjour. Bonjour.
Attendez, s'il vous plait.
Pour toi, correspondance. Merci.
Tres bien.
If you do not think it impertinent, but what is it?
That? That's a...
Chopped liver going around
and chicken soup.
And pickled herring.
It's from my aunt Olga.
If I'm not in her kitchen, she thinks I'm starving to death.
She doesn't know this food can kill you.
But not in this hotel. We hope not.
What's that?
What's going on?
Put these away.
Madame!
Suzy.
I'm sorry. Excuse me.
I'm terribly sorry.
Man shouts
you're welcome.
Excuse me, please.
Suzy. Hi.
Danny wilde. How nice to see you. Nice to see you.
What are you doing here? Guess what?
You got engaged? I got married.
Darling, come and meet an old friend of mine, Danny wilde.
This is my husband, frank. A pleasure to meet you.
Suzy's told me a lot about you.
All bad I'm sure.
Hold that, will you?
You don't mind me kissing the bride, I'm sure.
We're staying here for a few weeks. Why don't we get together?
Drinks or dinner or something.
Let's get away from the crowd. Bye, darling.
Goodbye. Goodbye, frank.
Why aren't I invited to weddings? You know why?
Brett: With any luck, they'll invite you on the honeymoon.
Oh, look at him. Thank you.
How are you doing, pal?
Well. Well.
Is that your new suit? Does it meet with your approval?
My compliments to your butcher.
It's made from the tail hairs of a rare midget Mongolian llama.
Wonderful. When the llama finishes making the coat,
maybe he'll make you a shoulder purse.
Your tailor has a sense of humour, too.
Daniel, did you bathe this morning?
That's a Hungarian salami.
Aunt Sadie. That's who it is, yeah.
You finished with the insult jokes? Yes, I am.
Would you send it up to my room, please?
May I take your wand? Yes. Be careful.
It may turn you into a human being. Ohh!
I can't wait to see this one.
Yahoo!
It's going great.
Look at him go.
Did we win? We lost.
Oh...
That's four losers in a row. I don't believe it.
You're getting better.
Sit down. Just sit down.
Let's see if we can find an omen.
Here we go. I've found an omen.
Bim bam.
Why is that an omen? Bim bam.
When I was 18, I knew a girl named Gretchen.
You have a remarkable memory.
She was big and looked a little like a horse. I'm sure it's a winner.
What's it got to do with bim bam?
Don't you know anything?
What did you learn in those fancy schools?
Nothing at all.
Excusez-moi.
How do you do? Daniel.
Yes.
I see you got the bird again.
"Suzanne villeigne, daughter of the infamous Marquis De villeigne,
"honeymooning in Paris
"with her American millionaire husband frank wager."
Suzy is a nice girl.
She's an improvement on her father.
Well, what her father did was what he did.
She had nothing to do with it.
I merely quote from the history books.
He did a bad thing or supposedly did a bad thing.
Why should those crimes be visited on that girl?
She's a nice girl.
Oh, by the way, I think I have figured out a new system.
What's that? We're gonna bet losers.
That's what we've been doing. Let's have a drink first.
Count: I want this man killed.
All right.
Look at it, man! Look at it!
In the background.
The man holding the bird.
His name is wilde.
Daniel wilde.
Verner has established that much.
He is staying at the hotel Plaza athenee.
Posing as an American playboy.
I want him dead.
And I want the bird he is holding.
Simplicity itself.
I hope so.
But, Luther, we want nothing to lead back here.
I am not an amateur.
You may depend upon me.
We'll have none of that heel-clicking nonsense here.
Just results, Luther.
It was too much heel-clicking that cost us the war.
Luther!
You show great confidence, Luther.
Perhaps because you look at me and you see an old man.
Because verner is not as young as he was.
Show him we are still dangerous, verner.
Good luck, Luther.
A fool, verner. Yes, sir.
Follow him.
Let him accomplish his work, then end the contract.
Very good, sir.
Telephone rings
hello?
Who was it, darling?
Oh, I don't know, they hung up as soon as I answered.
You couldn't be two-timing me already, could you?
Like, if a man answers, hang up?
Thank you, the most generous man I ever met.
Mm!
You'd better believe it. All right.
Sin!
Sin...
Sin! Oh, sin!
Don't worry. It's not an invitation. Just an abbreviation for sinclair.
It's marvellous that you're in Paris.
I didn't know. It's lovely that you are.
I've been so bored, I can't tell you.
The collections are absolutely awful.
It's lovely to see you. You got yourself a nice hat.
Oh, yes.
Sir? Nothing at the moment.
I'm waiting for a friend.
I see you've had excitement here in the hotel.
I saw the photograph. That's mr and mrs wager.
And Danny was here, too?
I'm not mistaken, am I? That is Danny wilde?
Oh, yes, sir, that's mr wilde. Yes, I thought so.
Would you bring me a telephone? Yes, sir.
My suite has one of the most exciting views of all Paris.
We'll have one drink and go up and I'll show you.
The view's not just an excuse to get me up to your room?
Prue, don't say a silly thing like that.
Yes, that is mr wilde's suite, isn't it?
It's not?
Oh, 405.
How could I make a mistake like that?
Operator, don't bother.
Mr wilde has just come into the lobby.
Sin, darling, you do understand
that I'm only coming up to your room to look at the view?
I'm sorry, what were you saying? Is the view an excuse, sin?
Yes.
Oh, sin, you know I'm not that sort of a girl.
I'll take a picture of the view and send you one.
I may not be that sort of a girl,
but the least you could do is try and persuade me.
Phone rings just a minute!
Hello.
Yes, long distance. Knock at door
no, this is not mr Schwartz. You got the wrong room. Coming.
One second.
Yeah, right, what is it?
Mr wilde? That's me.
Oh.
Oh, excuse me.
Charge!
What's happening?
Yeah...
How do you do? Excuse me.
Tarzan. Yargh!
Ok, tell me what happened?
Very little. I simply explained to the police
how I happened to be dancing in the street with a dead man.
Now explain to me, who was the guy?
His name was siegfried Luther.
The chances are there was nothing personal in him wanting to kill you.
Listen to me, you English dum-dum,
what is more personal than a bullet between my eyes?
Will you listen? I'm listening.
The police believe he was a hired gun.
Oh. And what do you believe?
I believe that having tried once and failed,
they could very well try again with somebody else.
Oh. I'm gonna take out more insurance.
Hello. Yes, speaking.
Speak up, please.
What?
But... No.
No, I cannot now. Who is it?
Hello.
Who was that?
Oh. Um...
Wrong room. Nothing.
All right. I see.
I don't have any more postcards. I'll get some.
I'll call room service. I'll go down to the lobby.
It will only take a minute, really.
Suzy. Yes?
Are you all right?
Yes. I've never been happier.
You were expecting to meet me in the lobby.
In my line of business, the unexpected is safer.
Who are you?
Never mind me. It is you that matters.
The daughter of the infamous Marquis De villeigne, the great traitor.
Isn't that what they call him? The man that sold France to the Germans?
That is not true.
The world believes it. I don't care.
Do you care enough to prove that he was not a traitor?
Of course, it will cost a lot of money.
But then you have a very rich husband.
I wouldn't ask my husband for money. I couldn't.
Think about it.
I will be in touch.
Do not follow me.
I am an old hand.
Thanks.
I've never been to a man's room alone before.
You do believe me, don't you? Yes.
If you believe that I have never asked a woman to my room before.
Touche.
Ok? Ok.
Ok.
Hopefully.
Ok?
What are you talking about?
I hope it's really cool, sin.
Cos I'm feeling really warm.
Glass smashing next door
easy, sin.
Don't worry, Daniel, I'll get him!
Daniel?
Wherever has he gone?
Do you mind?
What are you doing behind there?
Hiding.
Is that all the thanks I get? Thanks. Thanks a lot.
Well, Daniel, somebody is awfully determined.
Twice in one day. Yeah, twice.
Why? Who? Why are they trying to kill me?
You haven't been doing anything without me, have you? Not at all.
Who could it be? Why?
I'll tell you one thing. I'm not leaving and neither are you
until we find out who these people are.
If it kills me.
Daniel...
Sorry if I woke you, mrs wager.
You have had time to think about it.
Are you interested?
Good. I thought you might be.
You will get your instructions.
But can't you tell me any more now?
Hello?
Hello...
Door opens
I shouldn't imagine they'll try anything again tonight.
So I suggest you curl up with a good book.
That's something else I'd rather cover.
By the way, should they try and kill you, please do it quietly
because you're playing absolute havoc with my love life.
Good night and thank you very much.
Knock at door
you've got to help me, please. Shut the door.
A horrible little man keeps calling me on the phone.
He wants a lot of money. I can't tell frank.
Just calm down. He wouldn't understand.
Huh! She screams
I've heard a lot about your reputation, wilde.
Until now I thought it was just hearsay. Idle gossip.
But now, stay away from my wife.
Not again? What was that all about?
Or are you going to let my erotic little mind run wild.
That one was a little more social. They're good friends.
You should keep out of people's honeymoons.
I hate you!
What?
Prue!
I'm not moving.
Daniel, this has not been one of our better days.
It was stupid and ill-planned!
Fortunately, the situation is not irremediable.
I have brought in the help we need.
May I ask who?
Groski. That snake.
He's good. Extremely good. He is a savage.
But good. He has pride in his work.
When does he arrive?
He's here already.
You call me a snake?
He says that I am a savage,
and yet you, both of you, you bellow and you wallow
like a couple of cattle in the field.
Yes, yes, yes. We all know your views, groski.
But how do you intend to deal with this man wilde?
Let me see if I've got the situation clearly in my mind first.
Now, then, this mr wilde
has an object that you want desperately, is that right?
Yes, you have seen the newspaper photograph?
And the merely possessing of this object
gives him some knowledge which is dangerous to you.
Therefore he has to be silenced.
Precisely.
Well, I don't see what the problem is.
It seems quite simple to me. Get him on the phone.
I will issue him with an invitation that he cannot refuse.
Now, meanwhile,
some of my employees will offer him an irresistible sum of money.
And then when I have the bird in my hands,
I will...
Thank you.
They are ringing his room now.
Mr wilde,
please listen very carefully to what I have to say to you.
Ok.
The attempts on your life, they have not ended.
They will try again.
If you do business with me,
your worries about your life will be ended.
You will find my terms most generous.
Would you like to discuss it with me?
Around about 100,000 francs. It is a very nice round figure.
It's round about as you can get. Yeah, I like it.
You just tell me where and when and I'll be there.
Right.
In how long?
In an hour?
Ok. I'll find you.
Goodbye.
Now, I want... He agreed?
Naturally, he agreed. I want this purchase
to look as genuine as possible, so I need some money.
Don't worry about it.
It'll be returned when it's over.
Arrange it, verner.
I must brief my associates.
That's it.
I think I'd better go in first.
Give me a couple of minutes,
and when you come in, you don't know me. Ok.
Pulsing dance music
Combien.
Dix francs, monsieur.
Oh, dear.
You are not carrying a gun.
How could you tell? Shall we sit down?
Would you like to frisk me again? How about me frisking you?
We thought you'd rather do business where there are lots of people.
Not really, but if you insist.
Pardon.
You might have become suspicious if we'd picked an isolated spot.
Now what would you like to do? Have you got it?
Yes, I've got it right here. I thought it would be quite bulky.
Well, how bulky could it be? I mean...
I don't know, I have never seen it.
Believe me, it's not very bulky.
Here is our side of the deal.
It's all there. Thank you very...
What about your side of it?
Oh, crafty creature. I have it here in my pocket.
Excuse me, but this is money, right? So is this.
I'm not here to buy any money. I've got money.
Our lines crossed somewhere. Why would I buy money?
What are you selling? I'm not selling anything.
I'm buying. No, I'm buying.
Whoever is selling isn't selling.
I've got an idea.
Let's go back to where you were frisking me.
Now where are you going? Wait a minute.
I'll hold onto this. Don't let me catch you frisking anybody.
What on earth is happening? I've met the most wonderful frisker.
Bully for you.
Excuse me a minute, please.
May I just... Ah, yes.
Would you go away, please? Excuse us for a minute.
I believe... I believe there has been a misunderstanding.
I'm just looking for the guy that tried to kill me.
I'm willing to pay for that information. Excuse me.
I wish to buy the bird.
What bird?
This bird here you've got in your hands.
That's not my bird. It's the guy standing behind.
He dropped it. I picked it up. They took a photograph of it.
This is an error? Yes, that's what it is.
The fools. They really are fools about it.
I'm afraid, mr wilde, this error is going to have to be rectified.
Well, here's your money. Rectify it.
Tom, what are you doing?
There are people around here.
I'm sorry to say,
but you already know too much about this.
Whatever you say.
Understand I don't like doing this to you.
I understand that.
I want you to go towards those stairs.
You understand? Remember there's a gun on you all the way.
So no nonsense. This is yours.
You go ahead.
Gasps of surprise
Wait, wait, wait.
What for? The money!
Thank you.
Cabaret time over? Come on, your highness.
That was beautiful.
A farce. Your stupidity has made me look foolish.
After seeing the photograph,
it was a logical assumption
to believe that wilde had the bird.
In my business, I need certainties, not assumptions!
And I need assistance and not criticism.
We have lost time.
We need to move quickly now. Move? But where?
We have no idea of the identity of the man who has the bird.
Perhaps.
But we do know there are only two people in the world
that would be interested in purchasing it.
Myself... and the daughter of the Marquis De villeigne.
Precisely.
When he makes his approach to her, we shall know of it.
A bird?
All this has happened because of a bird.
That is the seventh time you've said that.
A bird!
They tried to kill me because of the bronze bird.
Which only goes to prove how dangerous it can be
to go around picking up strange birds.
It's a case of mistaken bird.
Mistaken identity.
I had an ancestor who was mistaken for someone else.
I've got news for you, I don't want to hear about it.
The Marquis of castle head. Oh.
Are you gonna finish your eggs? No, no. Please, eat it.
This was ages ago.
Time of the French revolution. I don't wanna hear about it.
He and his wife were doing the grand European tour.
When they got to Paris, the carriage was surrounded by a mob
of angry revolting peasants.
You see, my ancestor bore an uncanny resemblance to Louis xv.
Before he could deny the fact, the mob dragged him to the guillotine.
Did that really happen?
Mm.
Here.
There he was with his head on the block,
the blade poised to fall. Right.
Get up.
When his wife burst through the mob
and explained the entire situation.
She saved his life?
Uh-uh.
She could not speak French.
She married again shortly afterwards.
You do that to me every time.
And I let him get away with it!
Well, now, let's get down to solving your case.
The facts as I see it, you bumped into a man.
Excuse me, you got the facts wrong.
This man bumped into me.
His case fell open.
I reached down, picked up his stuff. And got photographed in the process.
Right, holding his bronze bird.
It's apparent to me the man they really want
is the one you bumped into. Exactly.
Which one is he?
He's by the photographer. You can't see him.
That's a great pity. Yes, it is.
Because he's the key to the whole thing, you must find him.
How will I find a man I saw for a couple of seconds in Paris?
You've got to be kidding.
I saw a film.
That's the wrong paper.
By George, I've got it.
I think you got it. Got what? Come on.
She couldn't speak French!
Who? The Duke of dukesberry, whatever her name is.
You are sure this device will work?
Of course it will work.
I use only the most sophisticated electronic equipment.
You searched the whole place thoroughly.
Yes. This morning they went down to breakfast.
The girl has not got the bird.
Listen.
Phone rings
Hello. 'I am ready to talk business now.'
why don't we meet? When and where? Just tell me that.
One hour from now. Apartment nine, bois De seine.
A briefcase fell on the ground.
Some of the letters fell out.
This is an enlargement of an address
that was on one of the letters.
It's wonderful.
Excellent.
This is about as big as I can enlarge this actually.
Wonderful. Any good?
Excellent.
There is number nine.
A neuf, and pretty grotty.
Fold up your map, pathfinder.
Smells awful.
Are you kidding? Smell it, it's ambrosia.
Are you sure some of your aunts didn't pack their food parcels here?
Very funny. Very, very funny.
Now, what makes you think it's up there? There's a door.
I believe in starting at the top.
Woman screams
oh, Danny.
I don't want to go inside. It's horrible.
Daniel, please.
There.
Shh.
Daniel, if you wish my unqualified opinion,
this is a very, very dead corpse.
Is it the bird man?
I mean, was it the bird man?
Yeah, that's him all right.
Oh.
It looks like the bird has flown the Coop.
Would you mind if I asked your friend a few questions?
Ask her anything you want. My friend is your friend.
Go right up and ask her.
Mrs wager... Who was he?
I never knew his name.
He kept telephoning me.
So I arranged to meet him.
But when I arrived, he was... He was like that.
If you'll forgive a pertinent question,
why did you want to meet him?
Because he said he could prove my father's innocence.
Innocence?
Innocence of what? Haven't you heard the story?
No, he doesn't know it. Tell him.
I make it a golden rule never to listen to gossip.
Why don't you fill me in on the facts?
There's not much to it really.
After the fall of Berlin, some papers were found.
Secret papers.
They proved that a titled member of the French government was a traitor.
Someone who'd helped pursue French surrender.
So they made her father the fall guy.
There was going to be a hearing.
But he killed himself before it happened.
And they took it as an admission of his guilt.
Did you know of this?
I know everything.
What was the evidence if any that he had?
I don't know.
He only told me he was willing to sell it to me for a lot of money.
I just came and stood here.
At first I didn't see him. Then I went round the bed.
And I saw that he was dead.
Well, unless you took a crash course in pathology,
I don't think there's anything left for us to do.
Excuse me.
What are you doing? I saw a film once.
Fingerprints, fingerprints.
I'm wearing gloves.
Stanley.
I wish I'd never seen the film.
He signed it, verner.
Look.
See, his hand actually touched it.
May I?
Careful with it.
He did you great honour, sir.
Yes, but it also put you in a spot, huh?
I mean, if that had got into the wrong hands,
they would have hanged you.
And that is a very vulgar way to die.
So many years waiting. Searching.
And now it's mine.
To think that he signed it.
But we must destroy it.
Destroy this?
Destroy it?
Yes, of course.
It will have to be destroyed.
The Rolls-Royce. Where.
That's the common factor. There's always a common factor.
I think I'm onto something. Give me a little wash.
Right.
Remember the man I chased out who got shot?
I'll never forget him. Parked just down the street
was a Rolls-Royce.
There are a lot of rolls-royces in the neighbourhood.
But not like this. It was an old red sedanca De ville.
I think I saw it again today. Where?
It was parked just down the street from where the bird man was killed.
Maybe we can trace it. Maybe we can find it.
No, there's bound to be more than one.
I tell you who could help us.
There's a man in Paris who looks after
my uncle Charles' rolls-royces. Nice one.
Even when he's not.
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna check out this Marquis De villeigne.
Yes.
By the way, Daniel, did I ever tell you about my uncle Charles?
You've told me a lot about him. 14 rolls-royces.
14 wives too from what I understand. That's funny.
Knocking
if you haven't got a gun, come in.
Hi, pal.
I got absolutely nothing.
Well, I obtained a list.
But not much help. It reads like a list of the French 400.
Duc du valaise, comtesse vergnac,
le comte marceau, baron Carole,
et cetera, et cetera...
Wait a minute. I ran across one of these names.
What about the Marquis De villeigne? Anything new? No, nothing.
Here it is. Look.
Count clement marceau was a member
of the government at the time of the capitulation.
That means he served with Susan's old man.
It's a link, I suppose. But a very tenuous one.
We haven't got anything else, have we, pal?
What's his address, do you know?
Time for you to go to bed, sir.
Yes, verner.
I'm cold, verner.
I'm cold.
The bird, sir?
It's gone, verner.
The furnace.
It's just so much molten metal now.
So,
no-one can touch me now.
No-one.
Shall we?
I really should have my head examined.
Thrashing around in the middle of a French jungle.
Hey. This way.
This way. It's obviously the quickest way.
It's this way. Would you kindly defer to my superior wisdom?
We could have been there. This is the way. You wanna bet?
I get sick and tired of taking money from you.
Conditions? Same as always.
Ready, get set, go.
I thought you'd never get here.
I win. How did you get here so fast?
I simply rang the front door bell. That's cheating.
Certainly not. However, you will be happy to know
that my plan has one little flaw.
Yeah, what is it? Him.
Good evening.
Nice to see you again.
I presume you're wondering why I didn't warn you.
He made threats about wanting to kill me.
You know how sensitive I am about dying.
Well... what are we gonna do now? Ask him.
I will tell you.
I am going to Usher you through the doors of eternity.
Or I shall help you shuffle off this mortal coil.
I think he's gonna kill us. I think so, yeah.
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
But with great beauty and dignity.
If it's all the same to you, we'd rather not go in any event.
May I have one for the road?
They all talk at once
can I ask you a question? What made that bird so important?
Shut up!
Ask a silly question, Daniel.
So you have got them both?
Well, now, there is a nice old well in the garden.
Very deep.
That's very good indeed.
Will you come along with us, please?
Cheers. Cheers.
This is not the way to go.
This is not beautiful.
This is not right.
Shouting from outside
verner! Monsieur le comte.
I beg of you, say nothing. Say nothing. There is no evidence.
You fool.
You stupid old fool!
I could not destroy it.
He signed it.
Excuse me. You read German, what does it say?
Roughly translated, it says, "to le comte marceau,
"for his role in making France part of the glorious fatherland."
You read signatures?
Oh, Danny, I...
I don't know how to thank you.
It's wonderful. You're wonderful.
Ooh, she just thought of a way.
With your luck, her husband will come walking in.
Daniel.
That is not my hand.
Oh.
Look, now, will you stop punching people?
You can't do that.
But, frank... oh! Oh, I'm sorry.
Come on. Please.
You have to understand.
I'm going to a monastery.
Count me out. They don't have girls there.
The one I'm going to does.
Oh, in that case I might join you.
Laughs
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