Gold
Got a dream, boy
Got a song
Paint your wagon
And come along
Where am I goin'? I don't know
Where am I headin'? I ain't certain
All that I know is I am on my way
When will I be there? I don't know
When will I get there? I ain't certain
All that I know is I am on my way
Got a dream, boy
Got a song
Paint your wagon
Et allons-y
Ou nous allons? Je ne sais pas
(singing in Swedish)
(Singing in German)
(Singing in Chinese)
(Singing in Russian)
Got a dream, boy
Got a song
Paint your wagon
And come along
Where am I goin'? I don't know
When will I be there? I ain't certain
What will I get? I ain't equipped to say
But who gives a damn?
Who gives a damn?
We're on our way
Where am I goin'? I don't know
Where am I headin'? I ain't certain
All that I know is I am on my way
When will I be there? I don't know
When will I get there? I ain't certain
All that I know is I am on my way
Where am I goin'? I don't know
Where am I headin'? I ain't certain
All that I know is I am on my way
When will I be there? I don't know
When will I get there? I ain't certain
All that I know is I am on my way
Got a dream, boy
Got a song
Paint your wagon
And come along
Where am I goin'? I don't know
When will I be there? I ain't certain
What will I get? I ain't equipped to say
But who gives a damn?
Who gives a damn?
We're...
Farmers.
Let's go.
Whoa! Hold it.
There it is!
Get over here.
Now stop it!
Hello!
Is they...
Dead?
They'd...
Better be...
'Cause I'm gonna bury 'em!
Let's go.
Aah... aah...
Aah...
My brother.
He's dead.
Shoulder and leg is pretty badly broken.
You a doctor?
Horse doctor, but bones is bones.
Also a blacksmith.
Bring brother.
Little more in the center.
Oh, God...
We pass on to You
The body and soul
of this nameless peckerhead.
Well, at least he went quick,
And he ain't going to have to suffer
Through the scurvy, the dysentery,
The spotted fever, the cholera, or the ague,
Not to mention them other maladies
Contracted in a consort with low women,
Or waste years digging in the dirt
And finding dirt like I've been doing.
Talk about him!
You want to be next?
And seeing how he survived all that,
He could have been hit by timber,
Fall down a shaft, starved,
Get murdered,
Or committed suicide on Christmas Eve.
What I'm saying, God, is,
You don't have no pity for your children
When they living,
So that's why we're asking you
To be a little kinder to 'em when they dead.
So, with all due reverence, Lord,
We pass on to You
This corncracker's body and soul
To take him and to keep him...
I stake this claim
For me and my new pardner over there,
Whatever the hell his name is...
Forever and ever.
Amen.
Pull him up.
Got a dream, boy
Got a song
Paint your wagon
And come along
Where am I goin'? I don't know
Where am I headin'? I ain't certain
All that I know is I am on my way
When will I be there? I don't know
When will I get there? I ain't certain
All that I know is I am on my way
Got a dream, boy
Got a song
Paint your wagon
And come along
Where am I goin'? I don't know
When will I be there? I ain't certain
What will I get? I ain't equipped to say-ay
But who gives a damn?
Who gives a damn?
We're on our way
I still see Elisa
She keeps on returning
As breathless
And young
As ever
I still hear Elisa
And still feel a yearning
To hold her against me again
Her heart was made of holidays
Her smile was made of dawn
Her laughter was an April song
That echoes on and on
Since I saw Elisa
The shadows are falling
And winter is calling above
But I still see Elisa
Whenever I dream
Of love
Elisa... that the name of your girl?
Yeah.
Oh, I found this.
I thought it might make a good crutch for you
Now that you seem to be getting around pretty good.
Thanks.
You know,
It just don't seem right, Mr. Rumson...
You doing all the work and me getting half.
I mean, it's your mule,
Your tools and all.
Well, it was your brother.
Well...
Where I come from, Mr. Rumson,
We're cautious of strangers
Who talk in an easy manner.
Oh, you got me down
For some kind of low scuff from New Orleans, hmm?
Sell you patent medicine with one hand,
Pinch your purse with the other?
Matter of fact, that's kind of what I was thinking.
As a matter of fact, pardner, you're right,
But I ain't yet sunk to horse stealing.
Oh, I've salted claims, yeah.
I've sold whiskey to Injuns.
Once, a man in walla walla come at me with a gun,
And I killed him.
I can't think of one commandment
I ain't shattered regular.
I never did fancy my mother and father,
Let alone respect them or honor them,
And I have coveted my neighbor's wife...
Whenever I had a neighbor
And whenever he had a wife.
Mm-mmm.
And I gamble, and I cheat at cards,
But there is one thing I do not do.
I ain't never gulled a pardner.
The one sacred thing,
Even to low scuff like me,
Is a man's pardner.
2 pennyweight short of 4 ounces.
Now you pass me your pouch.
I'll pour your share.
And, pardner,
I'll swap pouches with you anytime you say.
Well...
I meant no offense, Mr. Rumson,
And I appreciate you saving my life and all.
You just want to know what's expected of you in return.
That's right.
I like to know what crops I'm planting.
Well, when I get dead drunk,
Fall in a muddy street,
I expect you to come get me,
'Cause I don't want to die muddy drunk.
If I owe a man $100, stand good for me,
And if I get melancholy, which can happen,
I expect you to be my companion and solace me.
What happens when you get in a fight?
Well, if 4 of anything come at me at one time,
You might lend a fist.
Up until that,
I can pretty well take care of myself.
You see, I don't fight fair.
Well, I don't fight at all
Unless I absolutely have to.
I got kind of a temper,
And once I start, I just can't quit.
Well, good.
Just remember that I'm on your side.
Well...
I hear a shopkeeper's pulled into town
With a wagon full of whiskey.
What do you say I hoist you up that mule
And we go get boiled?
Oh, I ain't a boozing man either, Mr. Rumson.
Well, I am.
Town meeting tonight!
There's going to be a town meeting tonight!
Town meeting tonight, Ben.
Blaah!
Ben! Ben Rumson!
Mooney! This is my pardner.
I thought you were on your way back to Ireland.
Well, I am. I'm just passing through here.
It's right on the way, you know.
Mooney.
How's it going, Willie?
I ain't won a hand in 3 weeks, Ben.
This is my pardner.
He calls himself rotten luck Willie,
But that's just to get the suckers.
You couldn't beat him with 5 aces,
So don't play with him.
Oh, I don't gamble.
- Uh-huh. - neither does he.
My name's Ben Rumson. This here's my pardner,
And I'm buying whiskey for any man that can stand up.
Aha!
Hey, I was sitting there.
- Now you're standing there. - Give him a whiskey.
Ben Rumson,
you have an outstanding account
In the amount of $68 from Yuba City,
And which you skipped town on me.
Skipped town on you?
I was run out. Don't you remember, Gus?
I want to be paid now
Before they run you out of this town.
Put that damn gun down
And stand these boys the whiskey I said.
Dry your hands before you weigh it.
Chief, me and my pardner need some supplies.
A pound of sugar,
A half a case of whiskey,
And a case of pneumonia for Schermerhorn there.
A pound of sugar
And a 2-pound sack of flour, please.
Evening.
Horace Tabor, Worcester, Massachusetts.
When did you get in?
Arrived this morning.
Hit a vein this afternoon,
And I aim to be back in Worcester by Christmas.
It says here
California's going to be admitted to the union.
Just what it needs...
Law and order.
That's good news.
Well, it ain't to me.
It's my policy to bust out of any territory
The day it become a state and head for another wilderness.
I don't agree, sir.
Well, I don't want to hear about it.
All I know is, you look around at the human race,
You got to wonder what the hell God was thinking about.
Oh! Oh!
Oh, oh, oh!
God made the mountains
God made the sky
God made the people
God knows why
He fixed up the planet
As best as he could
Then in come the people
And gum it up good
The first thing ya know
They civilize the foothills
And everywhere he put hills
The mountains and valleys below
They come along and take 'em
And civilize and make 'em
A place where no civilized person would go
The first thing ya know
The first thing you know
They civilize what's pretty
By puttin' up a city
Where nothin' that's pretty can grow
They muddy up the winter
And civilize it inter a place too uncivilized
Even for snow
The first thing ya know
They civilize left
They civilize right
Till nothin' is left
Till nothin' is right
They civilize freedom till no one is free
No one except
By coincidence, me
The first thing ya know
The boozer's in prison
And the criminal, he isn't
And only the rascals have dough
When I see a parson
I gotta put my arse in the wagon
That follows the tail of a crow
The first thing ya know
I pick up and blow
The first thing you know-oh-oh-oh
Ben! Ben Rumson!
Ben!
You bloody old rumpot!
Mad Jack Duncan!
Well, this is my pardner.
I heard you was in town.
Wait till I tell you what happened
to Harry and Ernest and me.
We never went home.
We're having a dance. Jump in!
Hey, climb on, pardner.
We're going to a dance!
Out the winder go the beans
I had a lucky day
Mary
My Mary
My sweet canary
We're goin' out this evenin'
Mary
My Mary
I'm gonna take you out tonight
So hand me down that can o' beans
Hand me down that can o' beans
I'm throwin' it away
Out the winder go the beans
Good times are here to stay
This town meeting will now come to order!
Hand me down that can o' beans
I'm throwin' it away
Out the winder go the beans
I had a lucky day
Mary, ma-ma-ma-Mary
My cute canary
We're goin' out this evenin'
Mary, ma-ma-ma-Mary
I'm gonna take you out tonight
So hand me down that can o' beans
Order!
Hand me down that can o' beans
I'm throwin' it away
Out the winder go the beans
Go the beans, go the beans
Good times are here to stay
Yeah!
Hand me down that can o' beans
I'm throwin' it away
Out the winder go the beans
I had a lucky day
Mary, ma-ma-ma-Mary
My sweet canary
We're goin' out this evenin'
Mary, ma-ma-ma-Mary
I'm gonna take you out tonight
So hand me down that can o' beans
Hand me down that can o' beans
I'm throwin' it away
Out the winder go the beans
Go the beans, go the beans
Good times are here to stay
Anybody seen Ben Rumson?
He, uh, left here about 20 minutes ago.
Thanks.
Are you his pardner?
Yeah.
He, uh, owes me $80.
He said you would stand good.
Hey, pardner.
Can you help me get up on that mule?
You all right?
I get melancholy every now and then.
It's a disease common to mountain men
Who live alone a lot,
But if you stay with me at such... such times,
I'll... I'll be ok.
All right.
Did Ezra Atwell come to you
For that $80?
Yeah.
I stood good for you.
I guess this is what you meant, uh,
When you said you expected me
To come get you muddy drunk in the street.
And now you're going to be my companion
In my moment of despair.
Well,
You're my pardner, ain't you?
Hey.
I like you, pardner.
I like you, Ben.
Well, my mother and father's dead,
And my two brothers and myself,
We worked the... we worked the farm.
Then last year, my older brother,
He took himself a wife.
Me and my kid brother,
We decided to leave Michigan
And come out here,
Maybe dig some gold,
Get enough money to buy some land.
'Cept now that he's gone,
I don't have too much appetite for farming.
Well, what about your girl?
Girl?
Yeah. Elisa.
Is she gonna come out and join you,
or did she marry your brother?
Well, to tell you the truth,
there is no Elisa.
I just...
Read that name somewhere and made it up.
Well, them's the best kind,
But what I need now is the worst kind.
It's a living hell up here,
What with the bloody rain
And the bloody loneliness
And that bloody, bloody wind.
Maria
They call the wind
Maria
Away out here they got a name
For rain and wind and fire
The rain is Tess
The fire's Joe
And they call the wind Maria
Maria blows the stars around
And sends the clouds a-flyin'
Maria makes the mountains sound
Like folks were up there dyin'
Maria
They call the wind Maria
Before I knew Maria's name
And heard her wail and whinin'
I had a girl, and she had me
And the sun was always shinin'
But then one day I left my girl
I left her far behind me
And now I'm lost
So gol durn lost
Not even God can find me
Maria
They call the wind Maria
Out here they got a name for rain
For wind and fire only
But when you're lost and all alone
There ain't no word but lonely
And I'm a lost and lonely man
Without a star to guide me
Maria, blow my love to me
I need my girl beside me
Maria
They call the wind Maria
Maria
Blow my love
To
Me
Women! Look at the women!
Look! Two women!
There's two women! Look at the two women!
There's five women!
I want to get one of them gals!
There's eight women down there!
There's 15 women!
20 women!
40 women comin'!
Hey, there's 64 women coming into town!
Yahoo!
Hey, men, there's 80 women coming down the river!
Lady, I, uh...
Got $50 here in gold dust.
You can have it all
If you, uh...
Let me hold the baby.
Very well.
No, I don't want any money for it.
You'll hurt his feelings, Sarah. Take it.
Look at them eyes,
Glowing like he just hit pay dirt.
He's a girl, you bummer!
Would anyone else care to hold the baby?
Not now, Jacob.
Just where are you people from?
Illinois, originally.
I'm Jacob Woodling.
This is my wife Sarah.
And who might this fine young lady be?
Her name is Elizabeth Woodling.
- Your sister? - No. My wife.
Your wife? I thought that one was your wife.
- They both are. - Holy Moses!
They're Mormons!
Du lieber himmel!
Nice work, old man!
Ha ha ha!
Can we get something to eat over there?
With $50 you can, sir.
Uh, follow me.
What the hell is a Mormons?
Ich verstehe nicht.
Aah!
Now, I don't bloody give a damn how a man prays.
There's enough room in hell for all of us,
But it just ain't equitable, man,
For you to be having two of something
All of us got none of.
Yeah! Yeah!
Tell you what I'll do.
Your mule's lame,
And I got a beauty that cost me $140.
I'll swap you straight...
My mule for one of your wives.
Now, which one's baby's mother?
God knows I wouldn't want to separate mother and child.
I am.
Good. I fancied the other one, I did.
This is immoral.
I hope so!
The woman's married.
No, she's not!
We don't recognize plural marriage
In California.
Then I bid $250 in gold for her.
260! 265!
Wait! You can't buy a woman for money.
Try and get one without it.
Ha ha ha!
All right, what about it, Mormons?
Jacob, we need every penny, Jacob,
And I can't bear another day
Of those martyred looks.
There. There it is again.
This ain't a martyred look, Sarah.
This look is pure...
Hatred.
Quiet!
Brigham young has 27 wives,
And he hasn't had half the trouble with them
I've had with the two of you.
Then simplify your life, Jacob. Sell me.
But, Elizabeth,
You don't know what you'll get.
I know what I've had.
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
Go ahead.
Gentlemen...
Out here...
I ain't a Mormon.
Now, Elizabeth is a headstrong woman,
Especially since her own baby died two weeks ago,
But she's given her consent to be sold.
Therefore, if any of you want to bid for her,
So be it.
But...
Let's go outside...
Where there's room for more people.
Ooh!
But these religious dogs are bloody greedy!
Ah, come on! Come on!
Elizabeth, you wait here and feed the baby.
I don't deem it proper that you be standing on a block.
If anyone wants to inspect you,
I'll send them in.
Order! Order!
I intend to conduct this auction
In an orderly manner!
And no bids in Spanish.
The last bid was $265 and two blankets.
$265, two blankets, and a jackass!
A 2-pound sack of coffee,
A 2-pound sack of brown sugar...
Hey, Holbrook, even if she is bought,
How will she marry who bought her?
She'll be married
According to the prevailing law of this community,
Which is mining law,
And she'll be treated like any other legal claim!
Order! Order! Order!
The man bids $275,
Four blankets,
One pickax,
And a bedpan.
Hey, mooney...
Mooney, there's a woman in the saloon
With a baby pressed against her breast.
That's right, Ben.
Wait. It ain't every day
That we got a woman in Atwell's
Pressing her breast with her baby.
That's right, Ben.
Clendennon...
Shh! There's a woman in Atwell's
Pressing her breast in the saloon.
I know, Ben, and we're bidding for her.
And Sam Fletcher bids $300, four blankets...
Ben, where you going?
Hey, pardner, there's a breast in Atwell's
Pressing a woman against her.
You want to bet?
You better stay here, Ben.
Huh?
Look! There's another one!
Well, he's a Mormon. He has two wives.
I'll kill him.
Ben, they're bidding on her right now.
Whatever the bid is...
whatever the bid is, I double it!
Ohh!
$400 was bid last.
Mr. Ben Rumson gallantly doubles that bid
To $800!
800 once...
Wait a minute! I'm his pardner,
And he withdraws the bid.
You have power of attorney?
Power of what?
Written permission,
Signed and witnessed.
If he could do that, he'd talk for himself.
800 twice!
Wake up, Ben. Come on.
Sold to Mr. Ben Rumson
For $800!
He only looks that way when he's drunk, ma'am.
You ain't exactly seein' him at his best,
But once I get him washed down and clipped,
I think you'll be agreeably surprised.
Get the soap and water
Whoop-ti-ay
Get the soap and water
Whoop-ti-ay
Got a sweet perfumer
To try his humor
It's Ben's weddin' day
Wash him down and clip him
Whoop-ti-ay
Wash him down and clip him
Whoop-ti-ay
He's got a blue-eyed wonder
To put him under
It's his weddin'... yeah
Ben's weddin'... yay
Ben's weddin' day
Where am I goin'?
I don't know
Where am I headin'?
I ain't certain
All that I know is I am on my way
Amen
Dearly beloved,
We have gathered together
To Grant this man Ben Rumson
Exclusive title to this woman
Mrs. Elizabeth Woodling
And to all her mineral resources.
I have drawn up this record of claim,
Which here and henceforth will be recognized
As a certificate of marriage.
So I ask you, Ben,
Do you recognize this claim as a contract of marriage,
And do you take this woman to love, honor, and Cherish?
Oh, he does.
Elizabeth Woodling,
Do you take this man Ben Rumson
To love, honor, and obey him
Until death do you part?
She does.
I now pronounce you claimed and filed
As Mr. and Mrs. Ben Rumson.
Yay! Yay! Yay!
Mr. Rumson went to town
Ridin' on a pony
Bought a wife nd brought her home
And called it matrimony
Mr. Rumson bought a bride
Out in Californy
He'd have saved a lot of money
Stayin' drunk and horny
Oh, Susannah
He's happy as can be
For he's got him somethin' better
Than a banjo on his knee
Rumson, he got married today
Married today, married today
Rumson, he got married today
What'll he do tomorrow?
Hey, Ben!
I'll be glad to help you work your claim!
I'll bed down by the fire
If you need me.
You'll not regret taking me in.
I'll make you a good wife.
You sure as hell will.
I don't fault you
For taking me for an easy woman.
I was bought and paid for.
But you bought me for a wife,
Not a whore.
If you come again at me like a slavering dog,
I'll shoot you as you come.
Watch where you point that thing.
You'd like to blow my manhood halfway to the moon.
I mean to make you a good wife
And honor this contract of marriage,
But only if you will honor it as well.
I don't know what you mean by honor it.
I know your sort of man, Mr. Rumson.
My father was the same sort,
Born under a wandering star.
I ain't fool enough
To bond you with all the tyrannies of marriage.
All I want is your name, Mr. Rumson,
And the least measure of respect
Due to a man's wife.
But...
Most of all...
I want you to build me a cabin.
A cabin...
That'll stand up in winter
With a fireplace of stone
And a door I can bolt if I have to.
And if you do that,
I will say you have honored the contract.
But if you regret having bought me, Mr. Rumson,
Say so now,
And if I have to work the rest of my life,
I'll see you get your $800 back.
I admire your pioneer spirit
And your straightforward manner, ma'am.
Is that what you've been admiring?
I've been admiring you, ma'am.
All right, I'll build you a cabin,
And I'll give you my name proudly.
You're Mrs. Ben Rumson,
And I'll kill any man that says you ain't.
I'll stick to it till I move on,
Which is when the gold pinches out
Or the first snow of winter.
You...
You ain't going to claim duress later
Just 'cause I held a gun on you?
No, ma'am,
I ain't going to claim duress.
I seem to lack all sense of shame
With you, Mr. Rumson.
Hey, Ben!
These men came all the way from Fiddler's camp
Just to see your wife.
Hiya, Ben!
Well...
Looks like I married myself a tourist attraction.
Some of these boys hiked 15 miles.
Ben, how's married life?
Pardner, it was so good
That I forgot that I was married.
Wow.
I'd hike 15 miles to look at that myself.
Hmm. Well,
I can see it ain't going to be easy
Married to the only woman in these mountains.
All right, boys!
The lady wants a cabin to live in.
A proper cabin made out of wood
That'll hold up in the winter!
So just don't sit there gaping.
Get to work!
Send back the world
There's too much night for me
The sky is much too high to shelter me
When darkness falls
Four cabin walls
Would be just right for me
I need a threshold I can cross
Where I can sit and gather moss forevermore
A million miles away
Behind the door
Roll up the plains
There's too much view for me
There's so much space
Between the waiting heart and whispered word
It's never heard
One room will do for me
Where every evening I can stare at someone
Smiling from his chair across the floor
A million miles away
Behind the door
Where every evening I can stare at someone
Smiling from his chair across the floor
A million miles away
Behind the door
No fears
No fools
No lies
No rules
Just doing with my life what life is for
A million miles away
Behind
The door
Elizabeth.
Elizabeth?
Where have you been?
I was down at the rapids
Taking a bath.
You mean you was taking a bath?
I mean I was taking a bath.
What do you think I mean?
You was down at the rapids just now,
Bare beam...
And buck naked?
I'm not like to take a bath
With my clothes on, Mr. Rumson.
Are you trying to tell me you was taking a bath?
That's right. I was taking a bath.
In the middle of the night?
Mr. Rumson,
In a community of 400 men,
Would you rather I took my bath...
bare beam and buck naked...
in the middle of the day?
What's the matter with you?
What's the matter with me?
I ain't running around in the middle of the night
In my drawers.
Hey! Hey, boys!
Listen to this.
"The proprietors
Of the hares and hounds club in Sonora
Wish to announce
That six ladies are expected to arrive
By stage from San Francisco
On the 15th of August."
How about that, huh?
That's a hundred miles away.
What good is that going to do us?
Ain't no one trying to steal your wife.
I'll admit there's a few
Who wouldn't mind trying.
Horace tabor, for instance.
He likes to give her a look every now and then.
Horace tabor?
Come on, Ben.
He just looks at her, that's all.
She doesn't encourage him or anybody else.
You're beginning to cut
A comical figure
And everybody's laughing at you.
I would've never thought of Horace tabor.
What the hell are you looking at, Horace tabor?
I'm looking for my stirring stick.
You make any more advances towards my wife,
And I'm going to shoot you down
Like the rattle-boned mother-lovin' dog you are!
That goes for the rest of you horny gorillas!
You want something to do?
Get on your mule and put up your money
For them six French tarts coming into Sonora!
But keep your lusting, lechering minds off of my wife!
I'd advise you, Rumson,
Not to refer to me
As a rattle-boned dog again.
Is that clear?
I'll stick my fist in one ear and out the other!
Grab tabor! Stop him!
Mr. Rumson!
Rumson, I...
Mr. Rumson!
Nobody has behaved unseemly to me.
I have been treated with nothing but kindness
In this camp, and you owe every one of these men,
And especially Mr. Tabor,
An apology.
By God, you're right!
I don't know what's come over me.
I've been behaving like a damn fool,
And I wish to beg your communal pardons,
And especially yours,
Horace tabor.
Well, I suppose if I was married
To the only woman in the neighborhood,
I might be just as demented.
And, Mrs. Rumson.
Uh, Mrs. Rumson,
May I extend my compliments?
You are as wise as you are fair.
- Ohh! - Get your hands off me!
That lunatic tried to kill me!
I demand a town meeting
To consider a proper course of action.
Yeah. Yeah.
If that knife had come 1 inch lower,
I would not be here today.
That's right. Yeah.
My fellow citizens,
As long as that madman prowls among us,
No one is safe.
Yeah. Yeah.
Therefore...
We must find a solution by tonight.
Let us not wait until the condition worsens
Or his aim improves!
Yeah! Yeah!
Order!
Mr. Chairman!
The chair recognizes Ezra Atwell.
I would like to ask Ben Rumson directly
If he doesn't think
That with a little sober effort
He could control these fits of jealousy?
Not a chance, and it's getting worse every day.
Sorry, can't help you.
The chair recognizes Ben's pardner.
Ah, thank you, Mr. Holbrook.
I've been giving it some considerable thought.
Ever since Ben Rumson,
My pardner here, poor bastard...
Oh, excuse me, ma'am...
well, ever since he became a lunatic.
What's putting the strain on Ben's mind
Is, uh, well, having the only woman
For 90 miles around here.
Now, my proposal is
That we get some more women for this town.
How you going to get women
To come up here?
Order! Order!
I know where we can get some women.
There's six French bawds arriving in Sonora
A week after Saturday.
Ben, you're right.
Why don't we get them to come up here instead?
How you gonna get six French bawds to come up here?
If I was a French bawd, I'd go to Sonora.
If you was a French bawd, we wouldn't be having this trouble.
All right, how are we gonna get 'em to come up here?
It's simple.
They gotta take the morning stage from Sacramento.
They gotta stop at Starbottle's pass to change horses.
So five or six of us go down there,
Hijack that stage,
And reroute them tarts back up here instead.
Now, what's so hard about that?
It all sounds just fine to me.
When do we go?
Order! Order!
Is it your proposal, Mr. Rumson,
That we knock out the stage driver,
Steal a coach, and kidnap six women?
Sounds better every time I hear it.
You fail to see what's wrong with this proposal?
What's wrong with it?
Well, if you don't consider
Assault and battery,
Grand larceny, and kidnapping wrong,
What the hell do you consider wrong?
Oh, you maniac!
- Sit down! - You insane man!
Schermerhorn, you're out of order.
What?
I yield the floor.
Proceed, Schermerhorn.
- What? - Speak!
You maniac!
You insane man!
What do you think
Them people in Sonora going to do
When we hijack their frauleins?
They grab their guns
And come up here to get them back!
Order, order, order!
Gentlemen!
Mr. Atwell has the floor.
Gentlemen, it is 50 miles from here to Starbottle's
Without a road or a trail.
Not even a mule can do it. How do you expect...
Oh, you lunatics!
Besides a civil war with Sonora,
You want to put us
In the white slave business!
Schermerhorn, you're out of order!
Again?
You haven't been recognized!
I'm Schermerhorn.
- Mr. Holbrook. - Aw, sit down!
Ben, these boys are right.
Mr. Holbrook, I withdraw the proposal.
Have you gone out of your skull?
You can't expect these men
To build a two-story building
Just to get women up here.
Who said two stories?
Somebody's got to run the faro tables
On the ground floor, don't they?
Rotten luck Willie will do that.
You can't expect rotten luck Willie
To build a fancy building
With chandeliers and art over the bar
And gambling and six beautiful tarts upstairs.
Criminy, Ben.
We'd have every bummer for miles around
Coming around here to spend his money
On women and whiskey
At Atwell's and Schermerhorn's.
You think that's bad?
Why, it's terrible!
Just terrible!
You'd turn this camp into a boom town,
And we don't want to do that.
Soon there'd be another saloon.
And another bawdy house.
And another gambling hall. And another bawdy house.
And another hotel. And another bawdy house.
Why, property would shoot straight up.
They'd be making more money selling
Their old claims than from gold.
They didn't come here to forge a nation
Out of the wilderness. Whaddaya think they are?
That's right! That's for men with a big dream,
With visions of America's greatness.
Well, I'm warning you,
If you want to turn this
Into a dreary boom town Metropolis
Filled with nothing but millionaires,
All you got to do
Is put up one little, tiny...
Two-story cathouse.
Let's put it to a vote.
Any man opposed is a traitor to his country.
All those in favor
Of bringing prostitution
To this camp, say aye.
Aye! Aye!
Passed!
Pardner, there's a shifty side to you
That I'm just beginning to appreciate.
Why can't I go along with you?
Who's going to take care of Elizabeth?
It'll take three days and nights
To get them tarts back here.
You don't expect me to leave a feast like Elizabeth alone
In this famine?
Who can I trust if it ain't you?
You didn't say being pardners
Meant wife-guarding.
Well, it just come up.
Howdy.
Captain Barnsfeather, Fort Sumter.
When does the Sonora stage come through?
About 4:00 tomorrow afternoon. Why?
Uh, supplies for the troops.
Unmount!
Come in, pardner.
You sure I'm not intruding?
Come in.
You think Ben will really get back in three days?
Why?
I'd like to know.
Who you expecting for dinner?
You!
Sit down.
Oh.
Thanks.
I didn't know you was expecting me.
I talk to the trees
But they don't listen to me
I talk to the stars
But they never hear me
The breeze hasn't time
To stop and hear what I say
I talk to them all
In vain
But suddenly my words
Reach someone else's ear
Touch someone else's heartstrings, too
I tell you my dreams
And while you're listening to me
I suddenly see them
Come true
I can see us on an April night
Looking out across a rollin' farm
Having supper in the candlelight
Walkin' later arm in arm
Then I'll tell you how I passed the day
Thinking mainly how the night would be
Then I'll try to find the words to say
All the things you mean to me
I tell you my dreams
And while you're listening to me
I suddenly see them
Come true
They're coming out of Starbottle's!
All right!
Fall together!
Hey, put me down, you bloomin' idiot!
Down, down, down, down!
Ow!
That's it! Get in line!
Come on! Come on, move!
Yah! Whoa!
Whoa!
Captain Barnsfeather, Fort Sumter.
At your service, ladies.
Here to protect you along the way.
We're going to have to take this here detour.
What detour? I can't drive these ladies
- Through open country. - You're going to have to.
The road up ahead ain't safe. Injuns.
Ain't no trouble with Injuns around here.
Get down.
Get back in the coach, will you, ladies?
Please sit down, ladies!
Come on!
There's a coach comin' in!
Comin' in! Comin' in!
There's a coach comin' in
If you listen, you can hear it
A-clip-cloppin' over the hill
And the sound that you hear
Is as good to your ear
As the call of a wild whippoorwill
There's a coach comin' in
You can feel it gettin' near
All at once, and it bursts into view
And it looks to your eye
Like it fell from the sky
Like a coach full of dreams come true
For it's bringin' me eyes that are moonlight
And it's carryin' lips that are wine
And it's comin' with arms that are pillows
And this evening it all will be mine
There's a coach comin' in
And you're smellin' like a steer
Get the soap out, it ain't far away
Cut the socks from your feet
Rake your hair till it's neat
There's a coach comin' in
There's a coach comin' in today
There's a coach comin' in
Hurry, hurry, do you hear?
With a cargo o' joy from paree
Drop the tables and chairs
Get them beds up the stairs
And be sure every lock has a key
For it's coming mit girls
Who buy perfume
Who wear powder and Rouge from paree
Who will have to go somewhere to get them
And the somewhere to go will be me
There's a coach comin' in
And it's flyin' like a deer
Thank the Lord there's relief on the way
Thank with all of your hearts
For them half-dozen tarts
There's a coach comin' in
Today
There's a coach comin' in
If you listen you can hear it
A-clip-cloppin' over the hill
And the sound that you hear
Is as good to your ear
As the call of a wild whippoorwill
For it's bringin' me eyes
That are moonlight
And it's carryin' lips that are wine
And it's comin' with arms that are pillows
And this evening it all will be mine
There's a coach comin' in
You can feel it gettin' near
All at once, and it bursts into view
And it looks to your eye
Like it fell from the sky
Like a coach full of dreams come true
For it's bringin' me eyes that are moonlight
And it's carryin' lips that are wine
And it's comin' with arms that are pillows
And this evening it all will be mine
There's a coach comin' in
Now it's riding in the clear
And the sound of it grows to a din
No, there ain't far to go
Now they're hollerin' whoa
Whoa!
There's a coach comin' in
There's a coach comin'
And it's here
Ben!
Pardner, I want to talk to you!
Uhh!
Why, you rotten, lecherous,
Deceiving, no-good, thieving...
the only reason I ain't blowing your brains out
Is the relief it's going to give me
When I tear you apart with my bare hands.
What's the matter with you?
What was the two of you doing on the same horse?
Riding. What else is there?
That's the last place I'd pick...
where was her horse?
That was her horse.
And where... ha ha... was your horse?
You had my horse.
Uh.
If that's true,
Why ain't you fighting back?
You ain't been yourself lately.
That's a widely known fact,
And you know it yourself.
Get up, pardner.
How's your jaw?
Feels like it's coming off.
You ought to trust me, Ben.
You're right.
You ain't the kind of man
That'd go lusting after another man's wife,
Especially with them six bawds
Arriving in town.
That's right, Ben.
I wouldn't do that.
The only kind of feelings
You'd ever have would be deep ones,
And if you had 'em for Elizabeth,
You'd come and tell me before you would her.
That's right, Ben.
That's what I'd do.
You're a good man, pardner.
That's what I was coming to do, Ben...
tell you that I got
Some deep feelings for Elizabeth.
Ben, you hit me one more time,
I'll bust your skull open.
I'm telling you, nothing's happened,
And nothing's going to happen,
'Cause I'm leaving.
You're breaking up the partnership?
Well, if I hang around here long enough
Watching you and her together,
I'll become as big a lunatic as you are.
All right.
I'll go get your share of the gold dust.
You can have the mule
And that new gold pan.
You can even have the rocker,
If you want to.
What's the matter, Ben? Where are you going?
Where are you taking the rocker?
I'm giving it to pardner.
He's going away.
Going away?
He... he never mentioned going away to me.
Of course he didn't.
You don't know that man
Like I do, Elizabeth.
What are you saying, Ben?
He loves you.
That's why he's going.
I don't want pardner to go, Ben.
I love him.
Unpack, pardner.
You ain't going nowhere.
That woman loves you.
And that puts a new wheel
On the wagon, don't it?
Now, you get this straight, Ben.
I'm not going to take away your wife,
And that's final.
But you love her.
So do you.
There's only one way for anybody to be happy,
And that's for one of us
To move away and forget it.
And I'm going.
Now, get out of my way.
Pardner, there comes a time
In the life of every partnership
When the party of the first part
Has no recourse except to knock some sense
Into the party of the second part.
You're staying!
Ooh!
What happened?
He's staying.
Is he hurt?
No, ma'am. Just tired.
He'll be good as new
In a couple of weeks.
Where you going, Ben?
You love pardner?
You take him.
And you take good care of him.
That's the decentest man I ever run across.
And the strongest.
Now...
I know you women like things legal,
So here's what.
It takes two weeks
For you to be an abandoned claim.
After that, you take the name
Of your new owner
And file it down at the mining office.
Then everything will be legal.
Ben!
I don't want you to go.
I love you.
What are you talking about, Elizabeth?
You're my husband.
I don't want you to go away.
What was that?
Don't let him go, pardner.
You said she was in love with me.
Didn't you just say that you loved him?
Yes, I did, and I do.
You just said you were in love with Ben.
Yes, I did, and I am.
Ben, do you, uh...
Do you get the feeling you need a drink?
How did you know?
'Cause I do, too.
But, pardner, you don't drink.
No, but I'm changing.
Hmm, and it takes a woman to do it.
Bless their hearts.
Now, Elizabeth,
Let's try and be reasonable about this.
For God's sake, make up your mind!
I can't.
I love both of you.
But that ain't going to work, Elizabeth.
You can't have both of us.
Why not?
'Cause, uh...
A woman can't have two husbands.
Well, I was married to a man
Who had two wives.
Why can't a woman have two husbands?
Because you can't.
Well, why?
You explain it to her, will you, Ben?
I'd like to oblige, pardner,
But I'll be damned if I can think of a reason.
Out here we make up our own rules as we go along.
A man rides into town with two wives,
Wants to sell one at auction,
Nobody thinks twice.
If a town needs female companionship,
Hijacking them seems the natural thing to do,
And if two pardners want to share the same wife,
Why not?
This ain't Michigan.
It's gold country.
Why, hell, it's the golden country,
Untouched and uncontaminated by human hands!
It's where people can someday
Look civilization straight in the eye and spit!
You don't have to please anybody,
Don't have to love thy neighbor.
Leave the bastard alone.
It's wild, human, and free,
And all over this nation,
They preach against it every Sunday,
But I don't think God's listening.
You know why? Because he's here...
In glorious California!
You trying to tell me, Ben, that you're willing?
I am.
I think it's a humane,
Practical, beautiful solution.
It does make a lot of sense.
It don't.
It don't in Michigan. It does in California.
Well, what's everybody gonna say?
What everybody are you talking about?
You mean everybody in town
Playing chamber music with them French horns?
They'd be damn glad to have two less in line, and you know it.
Ben, you're right.
Of course I'm right.
You've been carrying on like somebody was asking you
To do something downright immoral,
Like stealing gold!
It ain't as bad as all that.
What's bad about it?
Show me on that list of ten commandments
Where it says a woman can't have two husbands.
There ain't no commandment like that.
Hot damn. I think it's great.
It's history-making.
Can't hold it.
Elizabeth...
Yes, Ben?
We will be three...
For dinner.
Shameless harlots!
You think the Lord was some old boy
Going around in a raggedy old sheet
2,000 years ago?
You're wrong. He's here now,
And he sees you!
Ye godless Jaspers!
Who are you? Freemasons?
Rosicrucians?
Heathen emissaries from the dens of Babylon?
Boozers. Gluttons.
Gamblers.
Harlots.
Fornicators!
What's a fornicator?
I don't know. I ain't a religious man.
The stench of the city is in the Lord's nostrils,
And it's making him sick.
The Lord ain't going to take it much longer!
Come on up, parson,
And get some old-time religion.
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
Good morning, Mrs. Rumson. How are your husbands?
They're fine. Thank you, Mr. Atwell.
Husbands?
Did I hear husbands?
You animals!
You pagans!
O God, Lord of hosts,
Close thine eyes, then hold thy nose.
I am passing through the garbage of humanity!
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
Come on, dearie.
Scum, keep your filthy claws
Off my wife Princess hummingbird!
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
You heathen swine!
Do you know what God done to Sodom and Gomorrah
When He couldn't find 50 righteous men
In them stinking cities?
No! No!
I'll show God a place where there ain't 40.
Yeah! Yeah!
30! Yeah!
Two! Yeah!
Or one!
Yeah! Yeah!
And here it is.
Hooray! Hooray!
You want to see sin of the wickedest kind?
Here it is
You want to see virtue left behind?
Here it is
Sodom was vice and vice versa
You want to see where the vice is worser?
Here it is
I mean, here it is
You want to live life in the rottenest way?
Here it is
Women and whiskey night and day
Here it is
You want to embrace the golden calf
Ankle and thigh and upper half?
Here it is
I mean, here it is
No name city, no name city
The Lord don't like it here
No name city, no name city
Your reckonin' day is near
No name city, no name city
Here's what He's gonna do
Gobble up this town and swallow it down
And goodbye to you
Will you go to Heaven?
Will you go to Hell?
Go to Hell Go to Hell
Either repent or fare thee well
Fare thee well
God'll take care o' no name city
Comes the end, and it won't be pretty
Here it is
I mean, here it is
Here it is
I mean, here it is
Here it is
I mean, here it is
A...
...men
Evening, pardner.
Evening, Elizabeth.
Evening, Ben.
Evening, Elizabeth.
I hear...
George Lonergan pulled out today.
He's smart.
He's broke.
Ben thinks placer mining
Is all but finished in these parts.
What are we going to do?
I hear talk of a strike up to red dog.
I'm not leaving my home, Ben.
I wasn't suggesting it.
I'll live on grass and mud water
Before I'd do that.
Ben isn't asking you to leave your home.
Damn it! Why won't you leave, Elizabeth?
You like this town as much as I like Schermerhorn!
I hate what this town has become,
But it's one place
Where the three of us can live together,
And there's nothing I hate
As much as I love the two of you and this cabin.
If you want to go up to red dog,
You go ahead and go, but I'm staying here.
You come back whenever you want to.
The only thing that's keeping you
From being the perfect woman is your stubbornness.
Somebody ought to hit you with a shovel till you get over it!
Somebody's got to support this family!
You can't go through a winter alone here.
I'm not going to leave her here alone.
You mean you'd let this man who took care of you
And nursed you back to health
Light out alone while you sleep through the winter
Like a fat groundhog?
If he goes, you go.
And I ain't going.
Well, I'll go, then.
If he goes, you go with him.
Damn it! Didn't I just get through telling you
You can't go through a winter alone here?
You ever see such a stubborn woman?
No, I never did.
But if you ever hit her,
You'll have to deal with me straightaway.
I sure am one tired man tonight.
Must be from lifting those cards all night.
I only played a few hands last night, Elizabeth.
I had a lucky streak, too. I broke even.
You'll tell three-fingered Sweeney
I'll pay him back next week?
You was playing poker last night?
Yeah, I was, and you was tired. Remember?
Oh. Well, I think I'll go down
And have a last drink with them three limeys.
They're, uh, pulling out tomorrow.
How much does he owe Sweeney?
Wait a minute. I'm not going to take your money.
Why not?
'Cause a man don't do that
In Michigan or in California.
That's all right with me,
But if you want to keep your manhood,
Quit trying to beat three aces with a pair of 4s.
See you at breakfast.
Sorry, boys, pardner ain't playing tonight.
Willie? What?
Have you seen mad Jack?
He's over there.
Hey, I want to convert this dust into dollars.
Look out, mad Jack!
That man's losing gold dust
Every time you bump his elbow.
There's more gold dust spilled here in one night
Than we've dug up in a month.
Must be a pirate's fortune under them floorboards.
Where are you heading?
Where I can find some gold,
Maybe fleshpot hill, maybe brass monkey ravine.
I don't know.
Save your souls.
Help build a house for the Lord.
He can have my shack. I'm moving out.
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
You heathen scum.
And The Lord Sayeth,
"Money is the root of all evil."
The Lord Sayeth that 'cause he ain't rich.
He knoweth all about you,
Living like animals in that cabin.
You're going to hell!
I hope so.
If it ain't too far down,
I'll tunnel up and get some gold dust
That's been falling through these floor...
how do you figure we can dig a tunnel
Without being seen?
We'll dig down from the floor in our cabin,
Under the street, and right up under here.
A tunnel?
You idiot!
Why, you...
Dig now. Hit him later, lunatic.
Here. What the hell's happening?
We're going to tunnel in under Willie's place.
After that gold dust under Willie's floor, eh?
How in hell did you know that?
I've been thinking about that for weeks.
Why didn't you speak up, eh?
- You dirty, lazy, no-good drunken... - Oh, hey!
Lazy, am I?
- Damn you. - Shut up.
- Duncan... ow! - Dig now. Hit him later.
Right.
You can hit me later.
I'll remind you.
Don't forget. Pardner's in on this.
Then where is he?
He's home tonight.
Doing what?
Damn you!
Keep a civil tongue in your mouth, or I'll...
you can hit him later.
You can hit me later.
And I'll remind you. Dig.
Oh!
Hey, Willie, you seen Ben Rumson?
Uh-uh.
Sorry.
Close the bloody door.
Oh, you're digging a hole.
Hey, you don't miss a trick, do you?
Ben?
Pardner, we got big news for you.
You're doing what?
We ain't stopping at Willie's.
There's 16 gambling halls, 7 hotels, and 21 saloons,
And assorted playgrounds.
We can build tunnels under all of them,
Honeycomb main street, one end to the other.
What will we do with all that earth?
Give it to the meek.
Have you gone crazy?
Oh, he's not crazy. There's a lot of gold dust
Going through those floors.
I think maybe there's more than a lot.
I think maybe there's enough for the winter.
Hurry up and eat this, both of you.
Coffee will be ready in a minute.
I don't want you to be late to work.
The earth is pure muck
Muck's a good thing
And oozin' with mud
Mud is just fine
It's drownin' in bog
Bog is good luck
And crawlin' with crud
Crud's a good sign
The poor, they got hope
The rich can buy soap
What rainbows ain't got a pot of
And I ain't got a spot of
A few feet down there's a lot of
Just waitin' to buy
Tobacco and rye
From now till I die
The best things in life are dirty
And nothing in life is
Better to hold than dirty gold
The best things in life are
Filthy, dirty hunks of gold, gold, gold
There's more than just gold
Gold is enough
That's buried below
Beautiful gold
There's seed in the ground
Lovable gold
Just waitin' to grow
Spendable gold
A man has his creed
And mine is all greed
What banks have bulgin' accounts of
And I ain't got an ounce of
Below there's endless amounts of
Just dirty old trash
That turns in a flash
To dirty old cash
Uh-huh!
The best things in life are dirty
The worst thing in life is
Wakin' up clean without a bean
The best things in life are
Filthy dirty hunks of gold, gold, gold
The best things in life are dirty
The worst thing in life is
Being content without a cent
The best things in life are
Filthy dirty hunks of gold, gold, gold, gold
Stinkin' rotten chunks of blimey, slimy
Lousy, lovely...
Gold
Hey, you bummers, over here!
I found him in the mountains.
He's half-frozen. Get him to a fire.
He says there's a wagon train marooned up there.
Get up a rescue party.
Let's get out of these mountains
Before another storm comes up.
Pack up!
You've arrived at the height
Of the season, Mr. Fenty,
But we'll find hotel space
For the whole bloody lot of you.
If you can shake your family and don't die,
You'll have one hell of a time.
We shouldn't take respectable people
To no name city.
We'll take in a few at our place.
Maybe you can take the rest.
Is there room in your cabin
To put a couple of invalids?
Ben's bringing in her husband.
Oh, Mrs. Fenty, this is Mrs. Rumson.
I'm Mrs. Fenty's son Horton.
This is my sister Laura sue.
Here are some blankets. You keep warm by the fire.
I'll take care of the children.
Your husband is a good man, Mrs. Rumson.
Yes, they are.
I said that husband of yours is a good man.
Yes, uh, thank you, Mrs. Fenty.
Don't you worry.
Those children went straight to sleep.
I'll see to Mr. Fenty now.
Thank you, Mr. Rumson.
Oh, my name's not Rumson, ma'am.
That's my wife's name.
Now, I'll bet that seems a little confusing,
Don't it?
A little, yes.
How is it you and your husband
Don't have the same name?
Oh, well, that's easy to explain.
It is?
In the Chinese section of town
Was a joint called the Pagoda Hell Saloon,
And upstairs there lived a real mandarin Princess
Who used to invite me over occasionally
For a little egg roll.
Ben.
I'm entering your house
To pray for the unfortunate victims.
Not tonight, parson.
These folks have suffered enough.
Why don't you do that outside
Where God can hear you better?
'Cause I'll be talking in here.
Ben...
You can't talk to the parson that way
In front of these people.
This is a nice, church-going family.
Now go see where pardner is with the supplies.
Yes, ma'am.
Will you tell me
The rest of the story after dinner?
Sure. About 10 years after dinner.
I'll take care of your little sister.
You keep warm.
Mrs. Rumson, if the other gentleman is your husband,
Who's Mr. Rumson?
He's my husband's pardner.
Well, how is it you have his name?
Just a coincidence.
Oh.
What are you talking about?
Elizabeth ain't sick.
Now, you listen to me.
She's picked up a bad case of the respectabilities.
In a few days,
That poor woman's going to be burning up
In a fever of virtue.
And then look out.
Why?
Pardner, it's been my experience
That there ain't nothing more ruthless and treacherous
Than a genuine good woman.
Ben, you have to put up at Atwell's hotel tonight.
I what?
I can't tell them I'm living with two men.
Elizabeth, you ain't making any sense.
If you want to be respectable,
How come Mr. Rumson has to move out
While Mrs. Rumson stays with another man?
If anybody leaves, it really ought to be me.
You can't.
I already told them pardner's my husband.
Tell them you've made a mistake.
It's only for one or two nights.
What gives you that idea?
Why, it'll be 6 weeks before they can move.
Only a farmer's dumb enough to get froze
And tough enough to survive it.
Damn farmers!
All right, I'll sleep out.
Where you going? To get my things.
I got them right here.
Mm-hmm.
See you in the tunnels, Ben.
You moving out, Ben?
No.
Me, neither.
I guess there's two kinds in the world, Ben...
People who move,
People who stay.
Ain't that true?
No, that ain't true.
Well, what's true?
Oh, there's two kinds of people...
them going somewhere
And them going nowhere,
And that's what's true.
I don't agree, Ben.
That's 'cause you don't know
What the hell I'm talking about.
I'm an ex-citizen of nowhere,
And sometimes I get mighty homesick.
I was born
Under a wand'rin' star
I was born
Under a wand'rin' star
Wheels are made for rollin'
Mules are made to pack
I've never seen a sight
That didn't look better lookin' back
I was born
Under a wand'rin' star
Mud can make you a prisoner
And the plains can bake you dry
Snow can burn your eyes
But only people make you cry
Home is made for comin' from
For dreams of goin' to
Which, with any luck, will never come true
I was born
Under a wand'rin' star
I was born
Under a wand'rin' star
Do I know where hell is?
Hell is in hello
Heaven is goodbye forever
It's time for me to go
I was born
Under a wand'rin' star
A wand'rin'
Wand'rin' star
Mud can make you prisoner
And the plains can bake you dry
Snow can burn your eyes
But only people make you cry
Home is made for comin' from
For dreams of goin' to
Which, with any luck, will never come true
I was born
Under a wand'rin' star
I was born
Under a wand'rin' star
When I get to Heaven
Tie me to a tree
Or I'll begin to roam
And soon you know where I will be
I was born
Under a wand'rin' star
A wand'rin'
Wand'rin' star
Well, Willie, could you accommodate me
For a couple of days?
Sure. Take your pick.
No. I mean a room I can sleep in.
We don't rent empty beds.
Just till them sick farmers leave my house.
Wait. Clotilde's gone off for a while.
You can use her room.
What happened to Clotilde?
Some bummer says if she don't marry him,
He's going to kill her.
She took off for a while to let him simmer down.
She said she'd marry him.
He wants her to quit working.
Well, that's a narrow-minded attitude.
Whew.
Yeah. She's a fancy smeller, all right.
Damn farmers.
Sugar, guess who this is.
Hey, by goom,
I must have been down here too long.
You're beginning to smell like a woman.
Good morning. Good morning.
Good morning, Mr. Rumson.
You're an hour late.
Who the hell's the stranger?
He won't tell anybody.
He's practically one of the family.
Just wanted to see what a gold mine looked like.
You open your mouth about this tunnel,
I'll put a stick of dynamite in it.
You tell no one, do you hear?
I swear before God.
I said no one.
Start at end of number four.
Work an extra hour
To make up for being late.
How's Elizabeth?
Oh, she's fine.
In fact, we'd like
To have you for dinner tonight.
Is that right?
Yeah. Around 6:30. Is that all right?
Well, that's mighty neighborly,
But I got to play the organ
For the parson tonight.
Well, possibly some other time.
Well, if you're just one of the family,
Dig!
Mr. Rumson, I swore I wouldn't tell anyone.
I hope that means except my mother and father.
That means especially your mother and father.
But I've never kept anything from them.
It's about time you started,
'Cause when you do,
A whole new world opens up.
You got that kind of cold,
Empty feeling inside of you?
Do all gold miners get that?
It's very common.
What do they do for it?
I'll show you.
Are we going in a saloon?
Well, that's where the medicine closet is.
It's part of that whole new world
I was telling you about.
After you, Columbus.
Gentle music fills the sky
At no name city
And the days, they whisper by
At no name city
Come on.
Sure, there's not a spot as rare in
All Heaven or in Erin
Let me live until I die
In no name town
Ahh.
That's good.
My first drink.
Ahh.
You, uh... Feeling all right?
Oh, yes, sir. Thank you.
That, uh, cold, hollow feeling
Is almost gone.
Bartender, cigars.
Thank you.
I'll bet that's the strongest cigar
You ever smoked.
It's the first cigar I ever smoked.
It's delicious.
You all right, Mr. Rumson?
Yeah, fine.
Why do you think
My father is so dead set against saloons?
'Cause farmers ain't got the time
To enjoy the good things in life.
Farmer's got a busy day...
got to pull them turnips,
Talk about the weather.
That's about as much as he can handle.
Quiet!
Who are they, Mr. Rumson?
Oh, they're on the menu.
I don't understand, sir.
Now, Horton...Now, you ain't going to tell me
That you ain't never had a woman, neither?
No, sir, I haven't.
That's abso...
why, that's terrible!
Do you know that you could go blind?
We got to do something about that right away.
I wouldn't know what to do.
Don't worry. With your talent,
You'll catch on in no time.
Uh, Willie, ahem...
If you was to go trapping for the first time,
Who would you take along as a guide?
That would be Gracie.
She loves adventure.
Oh, grace, uh...
I give you the boy.
Give me back the man.
That was the best, Mr. Rumson.
You think so, huh?
Without any doubt. Now, I like smoking and drinking very much,
But they can't touch the last one.
That's got everything.
Most people would go along with that.
Well, good night.
Mrs. Rumson will be sorry you're not coming for dinner.
Last thing she said was to bring you.
Oh?
Well, in that case, maybe I will.
Good.
I'll walk you home after.
Now, remember, you wasn't in no tunnels,
And you wasn't in no saloon.
I remember.
We thank thee, Lord, for the recovery of these friends
And the food that...
shut the door, will you, Ben?
For this we thank thee, Lord.
Amen.
Will you wipe your feet off?
Evening, Ben. Come sit down.
Evening, Elizabeth.
Well, pardner, you handled grace pretty good.
Not as good as Horton did this afternoon,
But pretty good.
Where have you been, Horton?
Uh, gold mining, pa.
Your son's the most natural-born gold miner that I ever met.
I brought him up not to be afraid to try anything.
Well, that boy tries everything.
Did you know that the Fentys
Had an apple farm back in Pennsylvania?
Applejack, huh?
No, sir, we did not make applejack.
Then why grow apples?
You think everything that comes out of the earth
Should be used to make liquor?
Whenever possible, yes.
You should read the Bible.
I have read the Bible.
Didn't that discourage you about drinking?
No, but it sure killed my appetite for reading.
We've been telling the Fentys
What good land's all around this valley.
Yes. We're thinking of settling down here.
Oh, great!
That news is so god damn great,
I need a drink.
Don't listen to him.
He's always joking.
Elizabeth, the whiskey's gone.
I know. I poured it all out.
You what?
Out of courtesy to our guests, Ben.
If you want a drink,
Get your carcass out of this house.
You can't order a man out of his own house.
His house?
That's right. It's his house.
Mrs. Rumson is married to him?
She's married to the both of us.
At the same time?
Well, we're pardners.
I have never heard...
shut up and sit down!
Don't order the guests around.
Why not? It's his fault.
Without his god damn respectability,
We'd still be a happily married...
Triple.
There's not one drink of whiskey?
Take mine.
Boy, you saved my life.
Horton, how did that bottle
Get into your pocket?
How long have you been drinking hard liquor?
Well, since this afternoon.
You don't approve, but, believe me,
Until you've had a good cigar and whiskey,
You're missing the second and third best things in life.
Horton.
Where did you take him, Ben?
Damn you, Ben Rumson.
What are you going to teach this boy next?
How to cheat at cards
Or just physical education
With one of Willie's floozies?
That's the best one.
Horton!
Is that what you did today, Ben?
That's what he did today.
This boy's got a talent for dissipation
That is absolutely unique.
Out.
Get out!
I order you out of this house.
This is not your house.
This is my house.
That's right. I give her the house.
And if you ever cross this threshold again,
I'll shoot you down like any other marauder.
What's she so het up about?
She's got a right to be.
You had to take your revenge out
On the virtue of this boy,
Show him what an ugly town this really is.
Well, if we live here, then we're ugly, too.
I could never go back to what we had before.
It's over, and it's done, and it's finished.
Now get out.
Wait. If Ben goes, I'd have to go.
Then you go, too.
Evening, ma'am.
Good evening, ma'am.
You mutton-headed clunk.
You knew she didn't want them to know.
Elizabeth's a sick woman.
You got no respect for anybody
Or anything.
I don't have your kind of respect,
Sitting at the table with your hands folded
And that pious look on your face
After a hard day's thieving.
It ain't thieving.
Then why are we hiding it?
Why are we talking about it?
She's back there all alone.
Whose fault is that?
Yours. Hers. She threw us out.
Don't you say anything against Elizabeth around me.
I'll say anything I want.
She's my wife, bought and paid for,
And don't you forget it.
I never do forget it.
I got nothing more to say to you.
Then you got nothing I want to hear,
And if I ever catch you sneaking back without me,
They'll never find all of you to bury.
Bull and bear fight!
See the great bull that cut up
The mountain lion in Sonora
And triumphed over 10 large dogs!
Save your souls, heathen scum!
Allow this butchery to take place on Sunday,
And God will wash his hands of you.
Thank you, parson. Now move on.
God is going to cause the earth to open
And swallow up this nest of evil,
And the Lord ain't fooling.
I hear strange rumblings
In the earth below.
Yeah, they're going to sell a lot of tickets
To the bull and bear fight on Sunday.
A lot of gold dust is going to fall.
But we don't have a tunnel under there.
Arghhh!
You bloody maniac!
Why didn't you build one?
We can get under there.
There's nothing to it.
Maybe so...
But we could sure use a bit of help.
Hey. Hey.
What about that young farmer?
Where is he?
Horton Fenty?
Little did I realize it,
But when that boy set foot
On the second story of Willie's saloon,
History was in the making.
Is that where he is?
That's where he always is...
puffing on a cigar, drinking whiskey,
Knocking on them doors.
If that boy don't slow down,
Them girls are going to strike for shorter hours.
I'll see if I can catch him
Between rooms tonight.
If we could divert his energy,
We could be through by morning.
Your bet.
I'll bet 50.
I'll see that and raise you 50.
Not for me. I'm out.
Have you seen the future father of our country?
Yeah. He went home.
When will he be back?
Soon as his folks are asleep.
Tell him I want to see him.
Leave your door open and wait your turn.
Here.
Uh, pardon me, sir.
Could you lend me $10?
Why don't you go home and go to bed?
I was thinking of doing it the other way around.
Thank you, sir.
I'll see your 50.
Red 7 wins again!
Pardon me.
Here's your $10 back, sir,
Oh, and 10 more.
Red 7.
You're losing a lot of money, pardner.
Where do you get it all?
Thieving.
I would give the world to see
How I used to be
When I had no axe to grind
Except for choppin' wood
Day was day, and night was night
Wrong was never right
It didn't matter where I went
As much as where I stood
I had dreams
Average size
There were stars
In the skies
Not my eyes
Then I got
Gold fever
No rompin', rollin' girl-and-fellow stuff
Can cure the gold fever
Nothin' can help you
But the yellow stuff
What
Can stop that itchin'
Ain't
Around the kitchen
Gold, gold
Hooked am I
Susannah, go ahead and cry
Once we all did honest work
Farmer, lawyer, clerk
Married men and single men
And some who ain't too sure
Now I look at them and see
Duplicates of me
Cured of what we suffered from
And sufferin' from the cure
Who can say
Why we came?
Where's the hope?
Where's the flame?
We're the same
When you've got
Gold fever
No rompin', rollin' girl-and-fellow stuff
Can cure the gold fever
Nothin' can help you but the yellow stuff
What
Can stop that itchin' ain't
Around the kitchen
Gold, gold, hooked am I
Susannah, go ahead and cry
Gold fever
Deal.
By God, we made it.
Well, now they can open the box office.
Here's your day's earnings, Ben.
And here's yours, pardner.
I want you to tell Ben something for me, will you?
He's sitting right there.
Just tell him that I'm moving on
Before winter sets in.
He can get himself another pardner.
You bummers can, uh,
Divide up anything I got coming here.
Where you heading?
Well, red dog.
I hear they're digging it up in chunks over there.
By goom, they're always digging it up in chunks
Somewhere else.
Good luck, man.
Thanks, Jack.
Jack, uh...
Tell Ben to look in on Elizabeth.
The Fentys are pulling out.
She'll be alone.
You stinkin', rotten heathen scum!
Silence, Judas.
Today is Sunday.
You are going to hear the word of God
Whether you like it or not.
Get out of here!
And the word of the Lord is doom, doom!
Sic the bull on him.
You can't do that.
Let him out!
Boo!
This town of lust and corruption.
Get out of here.
Out, out, out.
You are not going to fight that bear on the sabbath.
I represent the Lord, and the Lord says
Get out of this arena.
Out, out!
The Lord will open up the earth,
And you will sink into the pit.
I said, sink into the pit.
I said, sink into the pit!
Well, I'll be god damned.
Hello, parson.
Welcome to hell.
Aah! Aah!
Yet though I walk through the valley
Of the shadow of death...
You better run through that valley, not walk.
Aah! Aah!
Uhh!
Will you kindly watch where the hell you're falling,
My good man?
Aah! Aah!
Mach schnell!
Now where are you going?
Ach du lieber himmel! Nein, nein, nein!
Have you...
have you seen pardner and Ben?
Pardner and Ben?
Have you seen pardner and Ben?
Where's Ben?
Ben Rumson!
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
Aah!
You bloody maniacs, go down there and get him!
Ben, where you going?
No name city, no name city
The Lord don't like it here
No name city, no name city
Your reckonin' day is here
No name city, no name city
Here's what He's gonna do
Gobble up this town and swallow it down
And goodbye to you
Will you go to Heaven, will you go to Hell?
Go to Hell
Either repentor fare thee well
Fare thee well
God'll take care of no name city
Comes the end, it won't be pretty
Here it is
I mean, here it is
Here it is
I mean, here it is
Here it is
I mean, here it is
All Heaven or in Erin
Let me live until I die
In no name town
Let me live until I die...
I don't know about you, fellas,
Let's get out of here.
I think this place is crumbling.
Oh!
Aah!
Oh! Oh!
Be calm, my dear.
Aah!
Oh, pardner, where's Ben?
What the hell are you doing there?
I didn't like that town,
But it'll seem funny not having it there.
It's going to be a cold...
Long, hard winter without it.
I'm not leaving my home, pardner.
I know that.
Do you have to go?
Can't we all try... Living the way we used to?
No.
No, I can't.
You see, ever since that night the Fentys came
And we were...
you and I were like
A real husband and wife...
I...
Couldn't live with you any other way.
And you belong to Ben.
He shared you with me.
I didn't share you with him.
Ma'am...
Whoa, mule.
Did you know them farmers was unpacking?
You mean the Fenty party?
Well, that might sound like a party to you,
But it ain't my idea of one.
Hop in. You can't get out of town that way.
Well, come on.
Giddup, mule.
I didn't see they was building a church and courthouse
Till the rest of the town went under.
Neither did I.
You still heading up to red dog?
Yeah. Still am.
Well, that's all right with me. I don't care where we go
As long as I stay a hundred miles ahead of civilization.
You moving out, Ben?
You want me to die?
Why, I can just see this valley
In about a year's time...
all broke out in a rash of white clapboard houses,
Schools, churches, courthouse, museum.
Ugh. Just one big, bad dream.
What about Elizabeth?
I'm going to miss that woman, pardner,
But you can't blast her out of that cabin.
Funny, here we go and build a town
Just the way we like it,
And then we go and sink it. Giddup, mule!
Come on. Come on. Giddup. Come on.
Pull up, Ben.
Whoa, mule.
What's the matter?
I'm staying.
I have to.
I always said you had a farmer's mentality,
But you're still the best pardner there ever was.
Well, you're the only pardner that ever was.
Then that makes me the best.
Ain't you going to say goodbye to Elizabeth?
No. I don't think I'll do that.
I'll get melancholy enough later on as it is
Without picking up an extra load now.
You say something nice to her for me, par...
say, what the hell is your name anyway?
Sylvester newel.
Yeah, just one "I."
Well, that's a good name for a farmer.
Well...
So long, pardner.
So long, Ben.
Never liked a man as much as I like you.
Giddup!
Ben says goodbye, Elizabeth.
Aren't you going with him?
No.
No, I'm not going anywhere.
Do you think he'll be all right, pardner?
Where's he going?
Where am I goin'? I don't know
Where am I headin'? I ain't certain
All that I know is I am on my way
When will I be there? I don't know
When will I get there? I ain't certain
All that I know is I am on my way
Got a dream, boy
Got a song
Paint your wagon
And come along
Where am I goin'? I don't know
When will I be there? I ain't certain
What will I get? I ain't equipped to say
But who gives a damn?
I'm on my way
Where am I goin'? I don't know
Where am I headin'? I ain't certain
All I know is I am on my way
When will I be there? I don't know
When will I get there? I ain't certain
All that I know
Is I am on my way
Got a dream, boy
Got a song
Paint your wagon
And come along
Where am I goin'?
I don't know
When will I be there?
I ain't certain
What will I get?
I ain't equipped to say
But who gives a damn?
We're on our way
Where am I goin'? I don't know
Where am I headin'? I ain't certain
All that I know is I am on my way
Gold fever
When will I be there? I don't know
When will I get there? I ain't certain
All that I know is I am on my way
Gold fever
Got a dream, boy
Got a song
Paint your wagon
And come along
And get
Gold fever
No rompin', rollin' girl-and-fellow stuff
Can cure the
Gold fever
Nothin' can help you
But that yellow stuff
What
Can stop that itchin'
Ain't
Around the kitchen
Gold, gold
Gold
They
Call the wind
Maria
Away out here
They got a name
For rain and wind
And fire
The rain is Tess
The fire's Joe
And they call the wind
Maria
I was born
Under a wand'rin' star
I was born
Under a wand'rin' star
Wheels are made for rollin'
Mules are made to pack
I've never seen a sight
That didn't look better lookin' back
I was born
I was born...
A million miles
Send back the world
There's too much night for me
The sky is much too high to shelter me
When darkness falls
Four cabin walls
Would be just right for me
A million miles away
Behind
The door
Where am I goin'? I don't know
Where am I headin'? I ain't certain
Gold fever
Al that I know is I am on my way
You want to see sin of the wickedest kind?
Here it is
You want to see virtue left behind?
Here it is
Sodom was vice and vice versa
You want to see where the vice is worser?
Here it is
I mean, here it is
You want to see life in the rottenest way?
Here it is
Women and whiskey night and day
Here it is
You want to embrace the golden calf
Ankle and thigh and upper half?
Here it is
I mean, here it is
Goin'? I don't know
Where am I headin'? I ain't certain
All that I know is I am on my way
Gold fever
Nothin' can help you
But the yellow stuff
What
Can stop that itchin'
Ain't
Around the kitchen
Gold, gold
Hooked am I
Susannah, go ahead and cry
A million miles away
Behind
The door