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SEVEN, EIGHT, NINE--
FRAN, I'M CALLING THE DOCTOR. EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT ?
YES, DEAR, BUT WE'D BETTER HURRY. ALL RIGHT. JUST REMAIN CALM.
HELLO ? HE-HELLO.
HELLO YEAH, DOC. HANG ON JUST ONE SECOND.
HELLO WHO IS THIS ? DOC, IT'S MARK GARRISON.
OH, MARK. I HATE TO WAKE YOU UP SO EARLY--
SHE FEELING ANY PAIN ? YEAH, IT'S STARTING. SHE THINKS IT'LL BE PRETTY SOON NOW.
WELL, I-I'D THINK YOU'D BETTER GET OVER HERE. UH-HUH. OKAY, WE'RE ON OUR WAY.
THANKS. BYE, MARK.
HEY, HONEY, I GOT DOC PRUITT. I'M GONNA BRING THE CAR AROUND FRONT.
ALL RIGHT, DEAR.
MORNING, MR. GARRISON. YOU'RE UP PRETTY...
EARLY.
- TAKE IT EASY, NOW. SIT. I'LL GET THE DOOR FOR YOU, MR. GARRISON.
NO, I GOT IT. SO, THIS IS THE MORNING, EH, MRS. GARRISON ?
DON'T WORRY ABOUT A THING, MRS. GARRISON.
JUST LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU WANT TO HIKE YOUR ORDER.
YOU'RE NOT WORRIED, ARE YOU, HONEY ?
NO, BUT I WISH WE WERE THERE. HMM.
ONLY A COUPLE OF MINUTES MORE NOW, HONEY.
OH, BOY. THAT'S JUST GREAT.
MARK, WE CAN'T STOP NOW. NO.
THE HOSPITAL.
WELL, NOW, THAT'S WHAT I CALL SERVICE.
OKAY, ON THE BALL. WE GOT A SPECIAL DELIVERY.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET GOIN'. COME ON, GO GET A STRETCHER.
WELL, HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT ?
BE CAREFUL, SWEETHEART.
ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S THE BIG I--
OH, OFFICER, I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH.
- WE NEVER WOULD HAVE MADE IT IN TIME WITHOUT YOU. - YEAH, THANKS A LOT, OFFICER.
OH, DR. PRUITT. NOW, NOW, EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT.
OHH-- NOW, DON'T WORRY. DON'T-- I-I-I'LL TAKE HER.
A DOG ?
WELL, YEAH. YEAH, I THOUGHT YOU KNEW, OFFICER.
YOU SEE, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME MY WIFE'S HAD PUPS-- I MEAN, THE DOG HAS HAD PUPS, AND I--
SHE GETS--
WELL, HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT ?
YEAH, YEAH.
BOY, WAIT'LL THE BOYS HEAR ABOUT THIS ONE. YEAH.
A DOG !
I CERTAINLY APPRECIATE EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE, OFFICER.
MY WIFE WAS PRETTY NERVOUS. YOU KNOW HOW WOMEN GET AT A TIME LIKE THIS.
YEAH, DON'T THEY ALWAYS ? YEAH. COULDN'T SEE IT MYSELF.
COMIN' TO THE HOSPITAL, AND ALL. WAY I REMEMBER IT, DOGS WERE, UH--
THEY HAD THEIR PUPPIES AT HOME IN, IN A BASKET OR A CLOSET.
YEAH, MINE HAD HERS IN A BUREAU DRAWER, RIGHT IN MY SHIRTS.
IS THAT A FACT ? HA HA ! YEAH.
HOW ABOUT THAT ? THANKS FOR YOUR TROUBLE, OFFICER.
NO TROUBLE AT ALL. NOW, JUST A MINUTE HERE, NOW. LET'S SEE WHAT WE GOT HERE.
WE GOT 60 IN A 35. OH, NOW WAIT A MINUTE, NOW.
CROSSING A CENTER LINE. I FOLLOWED IT RIGHT AROUND, HONEST.
RUNNING A BOULEVARD STOP. I DID STOP. I DID, I DID !
NO, SIR, YOU-YOU ONLY SLOWED DOWN.
WE GOT DOIN' 50 MILES AN HOUR IN A HOSPITAL ZONE.
WELL, I'M SURE I WASN'T DOING ANY MORE THAN, UH, BUH, 40.
FORTY ? YEAH.
OKAY. FORTY MILES PER HOUR IN A 25 MILE ZONE.
DO YOU HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE, SIR ?
LEFT IT HOME. YEAH.
THAT'S UNDERSTANDABLE IN AN EMERGENCY LIKE THIS. MM-HMM.
BY GOLLY, A FELLA GETS UP IN THE MORNING, PUTS THE FIRST CLOTHES ON HE CAN FIND,
NEVER CHECKS HIS POCKETS.
HAPPENS EVERY TIME.
NO OPERATOR'S LICENSE.
THIS YOUR CAR, SIR ? WELL, OF COURSE IT'S MY CAR !
WHAT'S YOUR NAME, SIR ? MARK GARRISON.
YOUR ADDRESS ? 336 NORTH BOWLING GREEN DRIVE.
YOUR BUSINESS ADDRESS ? THE SAME.
I WORK AT HOME. I'M AN ARTIST.
ENGINE NUMBER ? ENGINE NUMBER ?
NOW, WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I KNOW THE ENGINE NUMBER ? OKAY, OKAY, IT'S YOUR CAR.
I'LL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT.
SIGN HERE, PLEASE.
YOU FORGET SOMETHING, MAYBE ?
NO PARKING.
I'D MOVE THE CAR, MR. GARRISON.
OH, WONDERFUL, DOCTOR.
MARK ! MARK, WE MADE IT JUST IN TIME. DANKE HAD A PUPPY.
OH, THAT'S GREAT HONEY. THAT'S JUST GREAT.
BYE !
OH, WASN'T HE SWEET ?
YOU KNOW, MARK, POLICEMEN MUST HAVE A BENEVOLENT FUND OR SOMETHING.
- I'M GIVING, HON. BELIEVE ME, I'M GIVING.
MRS. GARRISON. TWO MORE. I THINK THAT'LL BE ALL.
MARK, THREE PUPPIES ! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THEM !
I'LL BE IN AS SOON AS I MOVE THE CAR.
UH, WHEN CAN WE TAKE THEM HOME ? TOMORROW. THAT'LL GIVE THE PUPS A CHANCE TO GET A GOOD START.
HEY, DOC. HMM ?
THOSE THREE PUPPIES-- ALL FEMALES, RIGHT ?
- YEAH, RIGHT. - MY LUCK'S HOLDING.
GERTRUDE.
GERTRUDE VON DANKELEIN.
[ Clicks Tongue, Sighs Disgustedly ]
MARTHA VON DANKELEIN.
DID YOU CALL ME, HONEY ? HUH ? OH, OH, NO. I'M JUST TRYING TO THINK OF NAMES...
FOR THE PUPPIES. WHAT'S THE HURRY ?
THEY HAVE TO BE REGISTERED SO THEY CAN GET THEIR PAPERS.
YOU CAN'T BEGIN TO GET THEM IN SHOWS UNTIL YOU GET THEIR PAPERS.
AND YOU LAUGHED WHEN JIM CARSTAIRS ENROLLED HIS SON AT YALE THE DAY AFTER HE WAS BORN.
WINIFRED VON DANKELEIN.
IRMA--
MATILDA.
IT'S BEEN A LONG DAY, HONEY. I MEAN, A VERY LONG DAY.
HILDEGARDE, DAGMAR, ERMITRUDE.
GOOD NIGHT, LOVE. HUH ? OH, GOOD NIGHT, HONEY.
MARK ? WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THESE:
FRIEDA, ESMERALDA, LUDMILLA ?
FRAN.
- FRANCIS !
YES, DEAR.
ISOLDE, ALBERTA, BRUNNHILDE ?
HEIDE... CLOTHILDE... WILHELMINA ?
DON'T QUESTION IT, DOC. I WANT TO GET SOME SLEEP TONIGHT.
HUH ? GET YOU-- OH, YEAH. I GET IT !
ARE THE PUPS READY ? YEAH, I'LL GET THEM FOR YOU IN A MINUTE.
THERE'S ONE THING I'VE GOT TO DO FIRST. ALL RIGHT. NO HURRY.
CLOTHILDE. OH, MY, MY.
QUIET, QUIET.
- EH, YEAH. OKAY, GIRL.
YEAH-HUH.
EASY, NOW. EASY, NOW, FELLA.
E-EASY, NOW. EASY, NOW, LITTLE FELLA.
EASY, NOW. I'VE GOT YA, I'VE GOT YA.
THAT'S MY IDEA OF A REAL DOG.
AHH, THE GREATEST.
AND DUCHESS THERE IS THE BEST DANE I'VE EVER OWNED. SHE'S YOURS, HUH ?
AHH, SHE SURE IS.
JUST BETWEEN THE TWO OF US, DOC,
I'D GIVE MY BACK TEETH TO HAVE A DOG LIKE THAT.
OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. DON'T GET EXCITED. I'M GETTING TO IT.
OKAY, ALL RIGHT. TAKE IT EASY, TAKE IT EASY.
ALL RIGHT. BOY.
ALL RIGHT, COME ON NOW. COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH THIS ONE ? OH, NOTHING YET, NOTHING YET.
EH, HEH. LOOKS LIKE HE'S NOT HUNGRY.
OH, HE'S HUNGRY, ALL RIGHT. HE'S JUST NOT TAKING TO THE FORMULA, THAT'S ALL.
ALL RIGHT, COME ON NOW. WHY DON'T YOU PUT HIM BACK WITH HIS MOTHER ?
NO, NO, NO. THAT WOULDN'T WORK, THAT WOULDN'T WORK.
WHY NOT ? WELL, IT'S A CASE OF TOO MUCH LITTER AND TOO LITTLE MILK.
DUCHESS JUST PICKED HIM OUT AND PUSHED HIM AWAY.
PUSHED HIM AWAY ? HER OWN PUP ?
WELL, THEY DO THAT SOMETIMES. IT'S FUNNY THE TRICKS NATURE PLAYS, HUH ?
HMM.
NOW YOU TAKE THAT DACHSIE OF YOURS, DANKE. SHE'S GOT TOO MUCH MILK.
YEAH. WHY, SHOULD COULD FEED HER THREE PUPS AND--
SAY--
AH, NO. NO, NO, NO, DOC.
NOW, JUST SO THE DACHSIE COULD WET MM-MM. NOT INTERESTED. SORRY.
OH, NO. WAIT, DON'T GET ME WRONG, NOW.
I'M NOT TRYING TO SELL HIM. I'D BE GLAD TO GIVE HIM AWAY JUST TO KEEP HIM ALIVE.
NO, NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT, DOC. MM-MM.
WELL, I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.
NO PLACE FOR A GREAT DANE WITH A FAMILY THAT LIKES DACHSIES ANYWAY, HUH ?
HERE, SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO WITH HIM. WELL, UH--
I'LL GO GET YOUR PUPS. OH.
'KAY. HMM !
ONE DROP AT A TIME. OH, YEAH. OKAY.
WELL, NOW, WA-WAIT. HO-HOLD ON, THERE.
HOLD ON, THERE. COME HERE, COME HERE.
HE-- HEY, COME ON, TAKE SOME OF THIS, NOW.
COME ON, NOW. GET IT DOWN.
THAT'S ONE.
OH, MARK, I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER GET HERE.
FRAN, WAIT JUST A MINUTE. OH, DANKE, I BET YOU'RE GLAD TO BE HOME AGAIN, HUH ?
LOOK, FRAN, THERE'S SOMETHING I HAVE TO TELL YA. OH, MY THREE LITTLE DARLINGS--
DANKE ! MARK, SHE HAD ANOTHER PUPPY !
YEAH, WELL, SORT OF.
WHY DIDN'T DOC PRUITT CALL US ? UH, WELL, HE FIG-- HONEY, THIS DOG HERE--
OH, ISN'T SHE FUNNY LOOKING ?
SHE'S A HE. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, FUNNY LOOKING ?
WELL, DIFFERENT. WELL, IT IS DIFFERENT.
WELL, I GUESS IT'S BECAUSE HE WAS BORN LATER, HUH ?
UH, WELL, UH-- MARK IT'S GETTING TOO CHILLY FOR THE PUPPIES OUT HERE.
WHY DON'T YOU BRING THEM IN ? I'LL WARM SOME MILK FOR DANKE. FRAN, I HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS--
YOU KNOW, MARK, YOU REALLY OUGHT TO BE NICER TO DANKE NOW. WHY ?
FOR HAVING A BOY PUPPY. HE'S WHAT YOU ALWAYS WANTED, ISN'T HE ?
YEAH. HE SURE IS.
COME ON IN, FELLA. DINNER'S READY.
ROVER.
PRINCE.
- BUTCH. COME HERE, BUTCH. COME HERE, FELLA.
- HI. HOW'RE THINGS IN THE NURSERY ? - FINE.
GOOD, GOOD.
MARK...
DO YOU THINK THAT PUPPY'S ALL RIGHT ? WHICH ONE ?
- THE MALE. SOMETHING SEEMS WRONG TO ME. - WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH HIM.
WELL, HAVEN'T YOU NOTICED ? HIS HEAD AND HIS FEET ARE ALL OUT OF PROPORTION.
MARK, HE IS POSITIVELY UGLY.
WELL, I WOULDN'T SAY THAT HE WAS UGLY.
WELL, I SUPPOSE HE'LL CHANGE WHEN HE GROWS UP.
OH, YEAH, YEAH. HE-- HE'LL CHANGE DEAR. HE CERTAINLY WILL.
HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK IT SHOULD BE ?
- WHAT DO I THINK WHAT SHOULD BE ? - HIS NAME.
- WE GOTTA HAVE A NAME FOR HIM. - OH, I DON'T KNOW. YOU PICK IT. I'VE RUN DRY.
YEAH, OKAY. HOW 'BOUT, UH--
BUT, MARK, NOTHING LIKE, UH, SPORT OR BUTCH OR ROVER.
I MEAN, THAT DOG HAS CHAMPION BLOODLINES.
WELL, IT SHOULD BE A NAME WITH SOME KIND OF... DIGNITY.
HOW ABOUT BRUTUS ?
BRUTUS ?
YEAH, THAT HAS DIGNITY AND NOBILITY TO IT. BRUTUS.
I MEAN IT HAS A-A-A SOLIDITY AND A STRENGTH ABOUT IT.
IT'S, UH-- BRUTUS.
YOU KNOW... I LIKE THAT.
WELL, IT'S UP TO YOU DEAR. BUT FRANKLY, IT DOESN'T SOUND MUCH LIKE A DACHSHUND TO ME.
OH, NO, NO, IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE A, UH--
IT SOUNDS LIKE A CHAMPION, THOUGH.
HELLO.
OH, HELLO, DOC. HOW ARE THE DACHSIES ?
THEY'RE JUST FINE, DOC. AND THE DANE ?
YEAH, YEAH. NO, HE'S GREAT TOO. NO FEEDING PROBLEMS AT ALL.
[ Dr. Pruitt Continues, Indistinct ] NO, NO OBJECTIONS.
IS MRS. GARRISON CHANGING HER MIND ? AS A MATTER OF FACT,
I HAVEN'T TOLD HER YET, DOC. SHE'S NOT BLIND.
WELL, I KNOW SHE'S NOT BLIND. WELL, HE MUST BE GETTING PRETTY BIG BY NOW.
WELL, I FIGURE I'VE STILL GOT A COUPLE OF DAYS. THEY'RE NOT EVEN OUT OF THE BASKET YET, DOC,
AND, AND, I WANT TO GIVE HER A CHANCE TO LIKE IT, YOU KNOW.
[ Dr. Pruitt Continues, Indistinct ] MARK !
UH, THE PRELIMINARY SKETCHES-- I'M WORKING ON RIGHT NOW, MR. DAYTON.
I SHOULD HAVE THEM BY THE END OF THE WEEK. THANK YOU. I'LL SEE YOU THEN. BYE.
AM I INTERRUPTING YOU ? UH, NO, NO DEAR. NOTHING IMPORTANT.
HARRY DAYTON IS A LITTLE NERVOUS ABOUT THAT COVER I'M DOING FOR HIS MAGAZINE.
OH, IS THIS IT ? UH, WELL, THAT'S ONE OF MY IDEAS, YEAH.
WHY, THOSE ARE THE DACHSIES, EH ? UH-HUH.
THAT-THAT'S SWEET. BUT, UH, WHAT IS THAT BIG THING THEY'RE STARING AT SO ADORINGLY ?
WELL, UH, THA-THAT'S A, UH--
I HAVEN'T DECIDED YET, ACTUALLY. IT'S A LARGER ANIMAL OF SOME KIND.
YOU KNOW, EH, FOR CONTRAST. OH, YEAH, THAT'S, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
YOU KNOW, A GREAT DANE MIGHT BE EFFECTIVE.
YOU REALLY THINK SO ? MM-HMM. BUT YOU SHOULD BE USING...
DANKE AND THE PUPPIES FOR MODELS.
THEY'RE A LITTLE TOO SMALL FOR THAT YET, DEAR.
WELL, YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED HOW FAST THEY'RE GROWING.
COME ON, GIRLS.
WELL, HOW ABOUT THAT ! THEY'RE OUT OF THE BASKET.
- AND BRUTUS.
WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT HIM, HUH ?
HEY, LOOK AT THE WAY HE'S-- HE-HE'S GROWING.
KIND OF LIKE A WEED, HUH ?
OR LIKE A GREAT DANE ?
NOW, JUST HANG ON A MINUTE.
JUST HOLD ON THERE NOW FOR A MINUTE, FRAN. I CAN EXPLAIN EVERYTHING.
LIKE YOU'VE BEEN EXPLAINING EVERYTHING FOR THE LAST COUPLE OF WEEKS ?
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH BRUTUS. HE'S NOT DIFFERENT,
IT'S JUST THAT HE WAS BORN LATER. I DIDN'T SAY THAT. YOU DID.
WHAT DO YOU SAY NOW ? YOU STILL GOING TO TELL ME THAT'S A DACHSHUND ?
I DIDN'T SAY THAT, FRAN. NOT ONCE DID I SAY THAT THAT WAS A DACHSHUND. NO, NO !
YOU WERE SNEAKY ABOUT IT. YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME, MARK.
I, I NEVER THOUGHT YOU COULD BE THAT DECEITFUL AND SNEAKY.
OH, NOW, COME ON, FRAN. SNEAKY ! I MEAN, YOU-YOU COULD'VE COME OUT LIKE A MAN...
AND TOLD ME YOU WERE GOING TO BRING THAT DOG HOME INSTEAD OF HIDING IT;
SMUGGLING IT IN WITH THE PUPPIES, MARK.
SNEAKY, SNEAKY, SNEAKY ! OKAY, OKAY. I'M SNEAKY.
MARK, I-I REALLY NEVER THOUGHT THAT YOU COULD DO SOMETHING...
THAT SNEAKY ! WELL, IF YOU GIVE ME JUST A MINUTE, I'LL TELL YOU.
I DON'T BELIEVE YOU. YOU HAVEN'T HEARD ME YET !
WELL, I'M NEVER GONNA BELIEVE YOU AGAIN. OH, I'M SORRY.
WELL, FOR GOODNESS' SAKES. I'LL FIX IT.
FRAN. FRAN, IF I HADN'T--
COME HERE, LITTLE FELLA.
IF I HADN'T BROUGHT THIS POOR LITTLE PUPPY HOME, HE WOULD'VE STARVED.
- THAT'S RIGHT.
CAME FROM A BIG LITTER, HE COULDN'T GET ENOUGH TO EAT AND, AND, AND,
FRAN, HIS OWN MOTHER PUSHED HIM AWAY. NO !
THAT'S RIGHT. OH, POOR BRUTUS. OHH.
WHEN DANKE HAD HER PUPS, WELL, SHE HAD TOO MUCH MILK,
SO, UH, DR. PRUITT ASKED IF SHE COULDN'T WET-NURSE HIM TILL HE WAS WEENED, THAT'S ALL.
I TELL YOU, I-I JUST DIDN'T HAVE THE HEART TO REFUSE. I REALLY DIDN'T.
I'M SURE YOU WOULDN'T HAVE EITHER. OH, OF COURSE NOT.
OH, POOR BRUTUS. I'M SORRY FOR ALL THE NASTY THINGS I SAID.
THEN YOU AGREE I DID THE RIGHT THING, HMM ?
OH, MARK ! DON'T YOU THINK I HAVE ANY HEART AT ALL ?
I'M SORRY, DARLING. I SHOULD'VE KNOWN.
THEN WE CAN KEEP HIM, HUH ?
CERTAINLY NOT. HE'S BEEN WEENED.
HE AND DOC PRUITT'LL GET ALONG JUST FINE NOW, SWEET BABY.
COME ON, DANKE.
COME ON, GIRLS.
HE'S A FINE LITTLE FELLA, DOC. HOPE YOU FIND A GOOD HOME FOR HIM, HMM ?
HEY, DOC ? HMM ?
- HIS NAME'S BRUTUS. - BRUTUS.
YEAH.
MARK ? HUH ?
HERE'S YOUR LUNCH. OH. OKAY, JUST, UH, SIT 'ER DOWN THERE.
HOW'S IT GOING ? TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE.
I HAVEN'T HAD A DECENT IDEA ALL MORNING. WORKING, WORKING AWAY. NOTHING HAPPENING.
FOUR WEEKS AND YOU'RE STILL ANGRY.
ANGRY ABOUT WHAT ? BRUTUS.
THAT IS RIDICULOUS. YOU SEE ? YOU SEE, YOU ARE ANGRY.
FRAN, I'M NOT A CHILD, YOU KNOW. I MEAN, WHEN I SAY I'M NOT ANGRY, I'M NOT ANGRY.
YOU FORGOT THE CREAM.
DO YOU KNOW HOW YOU HAVE BEEN ACTING LATELY
SO COLD AND DISTANT.
YOU HARDLY EVER TALK TO ME. YOU NEVER SMILE.
THAT BAD, HUH ?
WORSE.
I AM A HEEL. HMM.
I APOLOGIZE.
AND I DON'T HAVE ANY MORE PROBLEMS ABOUT DOGS. MM.
OKAY ? OKAY.
TO MAKE IT OFFICIAL, WE'RE GONNA SPRUCE UP TONIGHT.
WE'RE GONNA GO OUT ON THE TOWN, WE'RE GONNA SEE A SHOW, WE'RE GONNA HAVE DINNER.
PUT OUR GLAD RAGS ON. WELL, I, UH, I HAVE A CLASS TONIGHT.
MM ? CLASS IN WHAT ? IN GROOMING.
ARE YOU KIDDING ? YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL. UH, FOR DACHSHUNDS.
DACHSHUNDS ?
WELL, WE COULD CELEBRATE TOMORROW. YOU KNOW, TOMORROW IS YOUR BIRTHDAY.
THAT'S REALLY SOMETHING TO CELE-- YOU'RE ANGRY AGAIN, RIGHT ? HEH ?
NO. NO, I'M NOT ANGRY.
SEE ? I'M SMILING.
OKAY. TOMORROW IT IS.
BUT RIGHT NOW, WHY DON'T YOU GET OUT OF HERE, LET ME EAT MY LUNCH...
AND LET ME GET SOME WORK DONE, HMM ? MM-HMM.
FRAN, I BROUGHT THE CAR AROUND FRONT.
**
HEY, WHAT'S GOIN' ON ? IT'S DARN NEAR 6:15.
A BIRTHDAY CALLS FOR CHAMPAGNE.
WELL, THAT'S VERY NICE OF YOU, DEAR, BUT WE DON'T HAVE TIME.
THEY WON'T HOLD OUR TABLE PAST 7:00. OH, WE HAVE PLENTY OF TIME--
ALL EVENING, BECAUSE WE'RE STAYING HOME.
WE'RE WHAT ? WELL, I THOUGHT WE'D HAVE A PRIVATE PARTY OF OUR OWN.
YEAH, BUT, HONEY, WHAT ABOUT THE RESERVATIONS ? AND I GOT TICKETS FOR THE PHILHARMONIC.
MARK, IT'LL BE SO MUCH NICER HERE-- JUST US.
SO COZY. OHH.
ON SECOND THOUGHT, THAT'S NOT A VERY BAD IDEA. I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT SAY THAT.
TO YOU, MY DEAR.
BESIDES, WE COULDN'T POSSIBLY CELEBRATE WITHOUT THE DACHSIES.
OH, MARK ! MARK, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT ?
WITHOUT THE WHAT ? WHY, DANKE AND THE GIRLS.
WHY, AFTER ALL, MARK, IT IS A FAMILY AFFAIR AND THEY ARE FAMILY.
THEY-- THEY'RE DOGS, HONEY. OH, MARK, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
NO, I DON'T. NOW, LOOK, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY, RIGHT ? RIGHT.
THAT MAKES ME KING FOR THE DAY, RIGHT ? RIGHT.
MEANS I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT TO DO, RIGHT ? RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT. I DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING WITH THE DACHSIES.
OH, MARK, NOW, I PLANNED SUCH A WONDERFUL EVENING. DON'T SPOIL IT.
YOU COME OVER HERE, MARK, AND YOU SIT DOWN. YOU JUST RELAX AND YOU DRINK YOUR CHAMPAGNE.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
COME ON, GIRLS.
HURRY, NOW.
COME ON.
HURRY.
THAT'S IT.
COME ON, DANKE. YOU'RE HOLDING UP THE PARTY.
* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
* HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR MARK
* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU MM.
ALL RIGHT, GIRLS. COME ON, NOW, LINE UP. GO ON.
WILL YOU BLOW OUT YOUR CANDLE ? MM !
THERE, NOW YOUR WISH'LL COME TRUE.
NOW YOU CAN OPEN YOUR PRESENTS.
HERE. THIS ONE'S FROM WILHELMINA.
WELL.
I WONDER WHAT COULD BE IN THIS NECKTIE BOX.
WELL, IMAGINE THAT. A NECKTIE. SHE PICKED IT OUT HERSELF.
WELL, AH, MY FAVORITE COLORS. GOES WITH ANYTHING, DOESN'T IT ?
I-- AND THIS IS FROM HEIDI. FROM HEIDI.
- THAT'S A PIPE.
OH. THERE WE GO.
- IT'S THE LATEST KIND. - YOU SHOULD'VE TOLD HEIDI.
I STOPPED SMOKING TWO MONTHS AGO. OH, I FORGOT.
WELL, UH, THIS IS FROM CHLOE.
FROM CHLOE. MM-HMM.
LET'S SEE WHAT WE HAVE HERE.
JUST WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED: A BOX.
WELL, OPEN IT !
** [ Music Box: "Where Has My Little Dog Gone" ]
OH... THAT'S THE WRONG TUNE.
THE ONE IN THE STORE PLAYED "THE BLUE DANUBE."
UH, WELL, THIS IS FROM DANKE.
FROM DANKE. WELL.
YOU LIKE IT ?
I HAVE NO IDEA. WELL, DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS ?
SHOULD I ?
DANKE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO BUY YOU, SO SHE TOOK HER FAVORITE BONE AND HAD IT BRONZED.
WELL, MARK, YOU COULD USE IT FOR A PAPERWEIGHT.
A BRONZED BONE ?
WELL, DON'T YOU THINK THAT'S A CUTE IDEA ?
FRAN, THERE COMES A TIME IN EVERY MAN'S LIFE WHEN HE HAS GOT TO STAND UP AND BE COUNTED,
- AND MY TIME IS RIGHT NOW. - MARK, IF YOU ARE GOING TO COUNT, COUNT TO TEN.
I'M ONLY GOING TO SAY THIS ONCE, FRAN.
I HAVE HAD IT WITH THOSE WALKING WIENERS !
I HAVE HAD IT ! I WAS WILLING TO PUT UP WITH DANKE. DANKE THIS, DANKE THAT.
DANKE WINS A TWO-CENT PIECE OF RIBBON. LOOK AT IT. YOU'D THINK IT WAS A NOBEL PRIZE.
BUT I REFUSE TO GO THROUGH THE SAME ROUTINE WITH THOSE PUPS.
I REFUSE TO-- I REFUSE TO LET THEM RUN MY LIFE.
I WILL NOT HAVE IT ANYMORE, FRAN. KEEP 'EM OUT OF MY WAY,
OR THEY'RE REALLY GONNA WIND UP SAUSAGES.
- AND THANK YOU FOR A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
NOW, JUST ONE MINUTE ! JUST ONE MINUTE, MARK GARRISON !
- YOU ARE THE MOST SELFISH,
THOUGHTLESS, INCONSIDERATE, UNGRATEFUL MAN I HAVE EVER MET ! I'M SELFISH ?
THAT IS THE MOST RIDICULOUS ACCUSATION THAT--
WILL YOU GET YOUR WHATEVER I WANT TO RELAX.
THAT JUST HAPPENS TO BE MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT TO YOU, AND YOU CAN JUST MOVE IT YOURSELF.
WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR-- FOR--
WHAT IN--
BRUTUS ! FELLA !
WELL ! HEY !
LOOK AT YOUR HANDS ! MAN, HAVE YOU GROWN.
GOOD--
OH, BOY.
I, UM...
DON'T KNOW HOW YOU PUT UP WITH ME.
I'M SO BLIND. AND SELFISH !
THAT'S RIGHT, YES.
AND NASTY ! MM-HMM.
AND MEAN.
AND I JUST KNOW I'M GONNA HATE MYSELF.
COME ON, DANKE, WE'LL TRY ON YOUR SWEATER.
OH, BRUTUS, NOW YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THAT. GO BACK WHERE YOU BELONG.
- GO ON. GO ON.
DANKE, COME. COME ON.
THAT'S MY GIRL. TRY ON YOUR SWEATER, YES, AND SEE IF IT FITS.
- YOU'LL BE THE PRETTIEST GIRL ON THE WHOLE BLOCK. FRAN ?
HMM ? BURP A BABY FOR ME, WILL YA ?
WHAT ? BURP A BABY. I NEED IT FOR A SKETCH.
ARE THE HANDS THIS WAY OR THAT WAY ? I DON'T KNOW, I--
HERE, SHOW ME WITH DANKE. OH, MARK !
IT'LL JUST TAKE A MINUTE. STAND UP. OH !
STAND UP. PAT HER. THERE. THAT'S THE WAY.
GESUNDHEIT.
YES. THAT'S, UH-- HEY, COME OUT AND POSE FOR ME, WOULD YA ?
- OH, MARK, COME ON ! - IT'LL JUST TAKE A SECOND, HONEY.
**
OH, BRUTUS ! MARK, LOOK WHAT HE'S DONE.
WELL, NOW, WAIT A MINUTE. HOW DO YOU KNOW HE DID IT ?
WELL, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BLAME THOSE LITTLE ANGELS, MARK. JUST LOOK AT THEM.
YOU CAN TELL THEY HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.
FRAN, ONE DOG COULDN'T POSSIBLY HAVE DONE ALL OF THIS. NO, NOT NORMALLY ONE DOG.
BESIDES, THERE'S NO REAL HARM DONE, HONEY. IT'S JUST A LITTLE YARN, THAT'S ALL.
JUST RELAX, NOW. I CAN PICK IT ALL UP--
- IF I CAN FIND WHERE IT BEGINS. - MARK !
L-LOOK OUT !
MARK, DON'T MOVE !
- AAH !
JUST A LITTLE YARN. HEH.
HOLD STILL. HOLD STILL, BRUTUS.
READY ? ONE, TWO--
WHAT HAPPENED ? YOU SILLY--
WATCH OUT. WATCH OUT.
COME ON, DANKE, YOU LOOK SILLY. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
CHLOE, STAY, STAY. YOU'RE GONNA SLIP. WATCH IT. EVERYBODY SMILE. READY ?
GOOD BOY, THERE. TAKE A BREAK, HUH ? WAIT A MINUTE. OKAY. ONE, TWO--
TAKE IT EASY. OH, BRUTUS !
MARK, WILL YOU LOOK WHAT HE'S DONE ? WELL, HE JUST WANTS TO PLAY WITH THEM.
HE ALWAYS WANTS TO PLAY WITH THEM. HE WON'T LEAVE 'EM ALONE FOR A MINUTE.
- YEAH.
- DO YOU THINK HE REALLY BELIEVES HE'S THEIR BROTHER ? - WELL, I HOPE NOT.
WOULD YOU GET THAT, HONEY ? I WANT TO FINISH THIS ROLL.
HMM ? YEAH, YEAH.
COME ON, GIRLS, COME ON.
COME ON.
MORNING.
WELL, GOOD MORNING, MR. GARRISON.
YOU REMEMBER ME.
UH-- OH, OH, YEAH.
HUNDRED AND TEN DOLLARS WORTH, IN FACT.
YEAH, YOU SURE PILED 'EM UP THAT MORNING, DIDN'T YA ? YEAH, I CERTAINLY DID.
HEY, YOU KNOW SOMETHIN' ? WHAT ?
SO FAR, NOBODY IN THE DEPARTMENT YET HAS WRITTEN THAT MANY VIOLATIONS IN ONE DAY.
IS THAT A FACT ? I HOLD A RECORD.
I'M CERTAINLY HAPPY I COULD HELP YOU OUT THERE.
IS THERE SOMETHING I COULD DO FOR YOU OFFICER, UH-- CARMODY.
BUT IT'S, UH, SERGEANT NOW.
SERGEANT. I'M NOT JUST ON HIGHWAY PATROL ANYMORE.
NO ? I'M ON SPECIAL DETAIL.
UH-HUH. NOW, HAVE YOU NOTICED ANY SUSPICIOUS-LOOKING CHARACTERS...
AROUND HERE LATELY ?
HAVE YOU HAD ANY PROBLEMS AT NIGHT ? NO, NO. WHY ?
WELL, THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF PETTY THEFT GOING ON IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD.
IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S THE WORK OF ONE MAN. WE CALL HIM "THE CAT BURGLAR."
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY, "WHO IN THE WORLD'D WANT TO STEAL A CAT ?"
I AM ? WELL, EVERYBODY DOES.
OH ! OH, WELL, I GUESS MY SENSE OF HUMOR'S NOT WHAT IT SHOULD BE.
BUT ANYWAY, THIS FELLA SNEAKS IN,
GRABS THE FIRST THING HE CAN LAY HIS HANDS ON AND SNEAKS RIGHT OUT AGAIN.
SO YOU KEEP YOUR EYES WIDE OPEN. OH, I CERTAINLY WILL. YES, YES.
UH, THANK YOU FOR THE WARNING, OFFIC-- UH, SERGEANT.
AND IT'S BEEN NICE TALKIN' TO YA. YES, BEEN NICE, UH--
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.
GIVE MY REGARDS TO THE MISSUS.
YES, YES.
AND THE FAMILY. ARF !
AND THE FAMILY !
COME ON, CHLOE, UP YOU GO. COME ON. THAT'S MY GIRL.
YES. EVERYBODY LOOK AT ME, NOW.
DON'T MOVE, BRUTUS, OR YOU'LL DISTRACT THEM.
WHO WAS THAT, DEAR ?
IT WAS THE POLICE. THEY'RE LOOKING FOR A CAT BURGLAR.
ISN'T THAT SILLY ? WHO'D STEAL A CAT ?
EH--
YOU KNOW WHO THAT WAS OUT THERE ?
YOU REMEMBER THE, UH, COP ON THE MOTORCYCLE THAT ESCORTED US TO THE HOSPITAL ?
OH, THAT NICE PATROLMAN, FINNEGAN. NO, NO.
CARMODY. AND HE'S A SERGEANT NOW.
HE MADE SERGEANT ON MY MONEY.
EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT THAT MORNING, I--
- BRUTUS, NO ! OH, NO-O-O !
HEY, WHAT'RE YOU HITTING ME FOR ?
IT TOOK ME 15 MINUTES TO GET THEM IN THAT POSE. NOW LOOK WHAT HE'S DONE.
HONEY, IT'S JUST AN OLD WHEELBARROW. THEN YOU CLEAN IT UP.
COME ON, DANKE, WE'LL GO MAKE LUNCH.
COME ON BABY. WHOA. THAT'S MY GIRL.
HEY, FRAN.
LOOK AT THIS. HE'S LEARNED TO, LEARNED TO FETCH ALREADY.
OH, MARVELOUS, JUST MARVELOUS.
GOOD BOY. LET ME HAVE IT NOW.
- LET GO, BRUTUS, LET GO.
LET GO OF THE WHEEL.
BRUTUS--
AAH ! AAH ! AAH !
WELL, NOW, MAYBE YOU COULD STAND A FEW IMPROVEMENTS.
WHAT HAPPENED ? NOTHING. I JUST SAT DOWN IN THE LILY POND, THAT'S ALL.
I'M GONNA CHANGE CLOTHES.
HONESTLY, MARK, YOU'RE GETTING TO BE AS CLUMSY AS BRUTUS.
MARK !
OH !
WELL ! NOW ARE YOU SATISFIED
MARK, ARE YOU SATISFIED ? OR ARE YOU GONNA TRY AND BLAME THIS ON THE DACHSIES TOO ?
WHY NOT ? WE ALWAYS DO. FRAN--
OF COURSE, THE FACT THAT THE LITTLE, INNOCENT THINGS ARE NOWHERE IN SIGHT...
SHOULDN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE; THEY MUST BE RESPONSIBLE.
THEY ALWAYS ARE.
AND POOR, POOR PERSECUTED BRUTUS IS BLAMELESS.
OF COURSE, THE FACT THAT HE HAS PAINT ALL OVER HIM...
AND PAINTINGS STUCK ON HIS FEET IS MERELY CIRCUMSTANTIAL EVIDENCE.
THAT DOESN'T PROVE ANYTHING. FRAN, WILL YOU SHUT UP !
OH... I'M SORRY, FRAN, I--
I'M VERY SORRY.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT, MARK.
I EXCUSE YOUR RUDENESS ON THE GROUNDS THAT YOU ARE JUSTIFIABLY OVERWROUGHT.
YOU NEEDN'T APOLOGIZE.
BUT IF YOU EVER SAY "SHUT UP" TO ME AGAIN, MARK GARRISON,
NEITHER I NOR THE GIRLS WILL EVER SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN.
- OH, BOY.
OH-H-H BOY.
TWENTY DOLLARS TO SCRAPE STUDIO FLOOR,
$23 TO REPLACE TWO BROKEN WINDOWS,
$12 TO REPAIR EASEL.
WHAT SHOULD I PUT DOWN FOR ONE MONTH'S WORK RUINED ?
FRAN, IT WAS MY WORK AND IT WAS MY STUDIO.
ALL RIGHT, MARK. LAST WEEK IT COST ME $18 TO REPAIR...
MY COUCH SLIPCOVERS, AND $92...
TO REPLACE MY MOTHER'S BROKEN VASE.
FRAN, BRUTUS IS STILL A PUPPY AT HEART.
I KNOW THAT, MARK. THAT IS WHAT WORRIES ME.
HIS CAREER IS JUST BEGINNING.
NOW, MARK, THAT DOG IS TOO DESTRUCTIVE. HE HAS GOT TO GO.
NO, HE ISN'T, FOR-- SHUT UP !
THE PUPPY, SHUT UP-- UH, BRUTUS. UH--
EH-- LOOK, FRAN.
BRUTUS WILL YOU BE QUIET ?
DO YOU HEAR ME, BRUTUS ? BE QUIET !
OH, DON'T WASTE YOUR BREATH, MARK. HE'S AS STUBBORN AS YOU ARE.
WELL, I'LL... PUT HIM OUT IN THE GARAGE. WHAT DID I DO WITH THAT FLASHLIGHT ?
COME ON.
COME ON ! COME ON ! YES !
OH, HERE'S MY GIRLS.
ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY ON THE END OF THE BED, NOW. COME ON, IT'S TIME TO GO TO SLEEP.
GO ON. GO ON, AT THE END OF THE BED. OH, NOW, DON'T BE SILLY. COME ON.
THERE YOU ARE. OH, STOP IT, GIRLS.
- NO, GIRLS, DON'T DO THAT. - JUST CALM DOWN, NOW.
BRUTUS, NO ! - AAH !
OH, BOY.
COME HERE, BRUTUS. COME HERE ! COME HERE, NOW.
HONEY, ARE YOU OKAY ?
ONE NEW BED: $200.
ALL RIGHT, I-- I GIVE UP. HE GOES BACK TO DOC FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.
COME ON, BRUTUS
OH.
OH-HO !
OH-H-H !
WAIT A MINUTE. HOLD IT, BRUTUS.
WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE BEEN GOOD FOR SOMETHING
NOW, GO ON IN THERE, FELLA. LIE DOWN.
THIS'LL GIVE YOU PLENTY OF AIR.
BE QUIET.
HUSH !
HUSH UP, BRUTUS !
OH, GREAT. BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL.
THE END OF A PERFECT DAY.
NOW, EASY, BOY, EASY. SHH.
LIE DOWN. NICE DOGGIE.
NICE DOGGIE, NICE DOGGIE.
YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG MAN. WRONG MAN. I'M A POLICEMAN. SHH-HH-HH !
AA-AA-AH !
PUPPY, PUPPY, PUPPY. PUPPY, PUPPY, PUPPY ?
- OO-OO-OOH !
NICE DOGGIE.
[ Fearful Moaning, Panting ]
WAAH ! GET AWAY !
MARK, DON'T FIGHT IT.
AHH.
MR. GARRISON !
GET AWAY ! GO ON ! MR. GARRISON !
WAKE UP !
IT'S ME, SGT. CARMODY ! GO ON ! GET AWAY.
MR. GARRISO-O-ON !
CALLING SGT. CARMODY, CAR 23.
SIGNAL 15.
INVESTIGATE DISTURBANCE ON BOWLING GREEN DRIVE-- DOG BARKING.
REPEAT: INVESTIGATE DISTURBANCE ON BOWLING GREEN DRIVE-- DOG BARKING.
THAT IS ALL.
WISH THAT PAPER'D SHOW UP...
JUST ONCE ON TIME !
- BRUTUS !
MR. GARR-- MR. GARRISON !
MR. GARRISON. UP HERE !
SGT. CARMODY !
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' UP THERE ?
YOUR DOG CHASED ME.
HUSH. COME HERE. WHAT ?
DOG WON'T LET ME DOWN. I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU.
- I-I, I CAN'T TALK. - HEY, YOU HAVEN'T BEEN UP THERE ALL NIGHT, HAVE YOU ?
YEAH. WHAT IN THE WORLD FOR ?
YOUR DOG CHASED ME !
OH, YOU MEAN BRUTUS CHASED--
HOW 'BOUT THAT ?
NOW, LOOK, WILL YOU TAKE HIM AWAY AND LET ME DOWN ?
HEY, YOU KNOW, I BET HE--
I BET HE THOUGHT YOU WERE THE CAT BURGLAR.
- FRAN ! - NO, NO, NO, WAIT ! WOULD YOU PLEASE--
NO, NO, JUST A MINUTE, SERGEANT. I WANT TO PROVE SOMETHING TO MY WIFE FIRST. FRAN !
MARK, WHAT'S WRONG ? HEY, COME HERE A MINUTE.
- I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
FRAN, YOU REMEMBER SGT. CARMODY. HE ESCORTED TO THE HOSPITAL.
LADY, WILL YOU TALK TO HIM ? WILL YOU PLEASE TALK TO HIM ?
- WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT. - WELL, IT'S BRUTUS.
I WANTED YOU TO SEE BRUTUS. HE CHASED HIM UP THAT TREE THERE. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT ?
WHAT DO YOU THINK I THINK, MARK ? THAT'S A POLICE OFFICER.
NOW, HOW WOULD BRUTUS KNOW THE DIFFERENCE ? JUST A PROWLER TO HIM.
IN FACT, HE COULD'VE BEEN THAT BURGLAR THEY'RE CHASING AROUND TOWN. HE DEFENDED US !
HE PROTECTED OUR PROPERTY ! ALL RIGHT, MARK,
BUT STILL, YOU-- HONEY, DON'T YOU SEE HOW IMPORTANT HE IS TO US ?
HOW VALUABLE ? IF WE KEEP HIM AROUND HERE, WHY, NO BURGLAR'D COME WITHIN MILES !
- MARK, YOU'VE MADE YOUR POINT. WE CAN DISCUSS IT LATER.
IN THE MEANTIME, WILL YOU PLEASE LET THE OFFICER DOWN FROM THE TREE.
YEAH. OKAY. JUST WANTED YOU TO SEE, THAT'S ALL.
OH, UH, COME ON DOWN, SERGEANT.
DOG. THE DOG.
OH. GOOD BOY, BRUTUS. GOOD BOY.
GO ON BACK TO THE HOUSE NOW. GO ON. GO ON !
OKAY, SERGEANT. IT'S SAFE NOW.
HERE, LET ME HELP. WHOA !
I DON'T NEED ANY HELP. OH.
WELL, LET ME GIVE YOU A HAND TO THE CAR.
NO, NO, NO. DON'T-DON'T BOTHER, MR. GARRISON. WOULD YOU LIKE SOME BREAKFAST ?
I'M NOT HUNGRY. HOW 'BOUT A CUP OF COFFEE ?
I'M NOT THIRSTY. WANT AN ASPIRIN ? GLASS OF WATER ?
LOOK, LOOK, LOOK. ALL I WANNA DO IS GET OUTTA HERE. OH. OKAY.
YEAH.
UH, DROP IN AGAIN ANY TIME, SERGEANT.
YEAH.
HOO !
THIS IS SGT. CARMODY IN--
THIS IS SGT.-- SGT. CARMODY IN CAR--
OH, NO !
OH, MR. TOYAMA. GOOD MORNING, MRS. GARRISON.
WELL, YOU'RE EARLY. I WASN'T EXPECTING YOU UNTIL LATER.
THERE IS MUCH TO BE DONE. OH.
I BRING KENJO, NEWLY IMPORTED NUMBER ONE NEPHEW.
OH, WOULD YOU MIND STARTING IN THE BACK ? WE HAVEN'T FINISHED BREAKFAST YET.
AS YOU WISH.
UH, THEY'RE VERY FRIENDLY. THEY WON'T BOTHER YOU.
QUIET, GIRLS !
WHO WAS THAT ? TOYAMA.
SO EARLY ? AH, THERE IS MUCH TO BE DONE.
OH, HE'S GOT TO GET THE DECORATIONS AND THE FOOD AND THE TABLES SET UP BY 6:00.
WHAT IS THIS ORIENTAL BACCHANAL COSTING US, ANYWAY ?
MARK, WE HAVEN'T ENTERTAINED IN SIX MONTHS. WE OWE EVERYBODY.
YES, I DID MAKE MY HAIR APPOINTMENT. YES, I DID PICK MY DRESS UP AT THE CLEANERS.
THAT EVASIVE ANSWER MEANS IT'S COSTING A BUNDLE, RIGHT ?
WRONG. WE'RE GETTING A PACKAGE DEAL: FOOD, DECORATIONS,
EVERYTHING FOR ONE REASONABLE PRICE.
YES, I ORDERED THE GUEST TOWELS FOR THE BATHROOM.
NO, I DID NOT SPEAK TO MARK FIRST THING THIS MORNING. SURE, YOU DID.
I SAID, "DID YOU SLEEP WELL ?" YOU SAID, "MAKE YOUR OWN BREAKFAST."
ABOUT BRUTUS.
MARK, YOU'VE GOT TO GET RID OF THAT DOG. NOW, WAIT JUST A MINUTE, FRAN.
NOW, LET'S NOT START THAT AGAIN. BRUTUS IS MY DOG, AND I AM--
I MEAN FOR TODAY, MARK, SO HE WON'T BE UNDERFOOT.
I MEAN, IT'S DIFFICULT ENOUGH TO PREPARE A LAWN PARTY FOR 60 PEOPLE...
WITHOUT THAT FOUR-LEGGED DEMOLITION SQUAD RUNNING AROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF IT.
DEMOLITION SQUAD ! WHAT ABOUT THAT, UH, WRECKING CREW OF YOURS
MARK GARRISON ! HOW CAN YOU COMPARE THOSE DEAR, SWEET LITTLE ANGELS...
WITH THAT BIG CLUMSY OX ?
OKAY. ALL RIGHT, FRAN. I'LL, UH...
TAKE HIM FOR A WALK, ALL RIGHT ?
YOU'LL DO NO SUCH THING. I NEED YOU HERE TO HELP ME.
JUST TIE HIM UP.
WHAT AM I GONNA DO, FRAN ? I THOUGHT TOYAMA'S TAKING CARE OF EVERYTHING.
WELL, MARK, YOU KNOW SOMETHING ALWAYS GOES WRONG AT THE LAST MINUTE.
I WANT YOU HERE JUST IN CASE.
IN CASE OF WHAT, FOR EXAMPLE ?
IN CASE OF THAT, FOR EXAMPLE !
"RION," "RION" ! "RION" ?
MARK, LOOK ! BRUTUS ! BRUTUS ! OH.
BRUTUS, COME HERE, FELLA. COME HERE !
MR. TOYAMA, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT ? TAKE AWAY "RION" !
THAT'S NOT A LION. THAT'S A DOG !
YOU CALL THAT DOG ?
MR. TOY-- MR. TOYAMA !
WELL, YOU CAN'T JUST LIE THERE.
ONLY WAY TO FOOL WILD BEAST.
OH, MARK. WILL YOU TAKE HIM AWAY AND TIE HIM UP SOMEWHERE ?
OH, FOR PETE'S SAKE. HE WASN'T GONNA HURT ANYBODY. "ROOK" OUT, "RION" !
**
WELL, HOW IS EVERYTHING, MR. TOYAMA ?
NOBODY EAT KOMBU. KOMBU ?
STUFFED SEAWEED. OH, WELL...
I'M SURE EVERYBODY WILL.
WELL, GOOD EVENING, MRS. GARRISON. OH, HELLO, DR. PRUITT.
WELL, I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR A CHANCE TO PAY MY RESPECTS TO THE HOSTESS.
NICE OF YOU TO ASK ME. OH, YOU DON'T THINK WE'D FORGET THE FAMILY VET, DO YOU ?
WELL, I'D HOPE NOT. HOW ARE THE DOGS ?
OH, JUST ADORABLE. ESPECIALLY CHLOE. YOU KNOW, I THINK SHE'S GOT THE MAKINGS OF A CHAMPION.
WELL, THERE'S THE MAN WHO COULD TELL YOU FOR SURE.
AND SO I SAID TO HER, "MADAM, I AM JUDGING YOUR DOGS, NOT YOU."
UH, MEL CHADWICK ? HE'S AN EXPERT ON DACHSIES. OR DIDN'T YOU KNOW ?
WELL, I DID KNOW THAT HE WAS JUDGING THE FAIRVIEW DOG SHOW NEXT MONTH.
AH. CHLOE IS ENTERED, I SUPPOSE ?
OH, DR. PRUITT, YOU DON'T THINK THAT I ARRANGED THIS WHOLE PARTY...
JUST TO GET ON HIS GOOD SIDE, DO YOU ?
OH, NO, NO, NO. NEVER ENTERED MY MIND.
WELL, I DID. IT'S WICKED OF ME, HUH ?
NO, NO, NOT A BIT. WHY DON'T YOU BRING CHLOE OUT HERE AND SHOW HER TO HIM ?
OH, NO, I COULDN'T. BUT YOU WILL.
OF COURSE I WILL. WILL YOU EXCUSE ME ?
YEAH, I WILL. AND GOOD LUCK.
OH, MY.
KOMBU ? EH
WELL, I DON'T THINK-- UH. HMM.
COME ON, CHLOE. COME ON.
YOU GIRLS STAY. STAY.
ALL RIGHT, CHLOE. YOU GO. GO ON.
OF COURSE SO FEW OF US HAVE THE ABILITY TO RECOGNIZE...
EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME.
QUALITY--
GIRL. YOU. EXCUSE ME.
HEY, I THOUGHT WE AGREED TO KEEP THE ANIMAL LIFE OUT OF HERE.
OH, WELL, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, DEAR. SHE JUST KIND OF GOT OUT.
OH, UH, WOULD YOU PUT THOSE CHAIRS OVER THERE, AND COULD YOU GET ME...
TWO MORE FOR THE HORS D'OEUVRES TABLE ?
OH, THAT'S A CUTE DOG.
WELL, WELL, WELL. WHAT HAVE WE HERE ?
YOUR DOG, MRS. GARRISON ? YES, THIS IS CHLOE.
A FINE-LOOKING ANIMAL.
UH, MAY I ? OH, OF COURSE.
BETTER SIT DOWN, HARRY. REMEMBER NEW YEAR'S EVE.
NOBODY'LL LET ME FORGET.
GOOD BACK LINE. EARS SET GOOD. FINE HEAD.
YOU INTEND TO SHOW HER ? WELL, I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT, IF YOU THINK SHE'S GOOD ENOUGH.
THERE'S ONE WAY TO FIND OUT. WHY DON'T YOU PUT HER IN THE FAIRVIEW SHOW NEXT MONTH ?
CHLOE. CHLOE ! NO, NO, MRS. GARRISON. LET HER GO.
DACHSIES LOVE TO BE AROUND PEOPLE. OH, BUT I KNOW SOME PEOPLE...
WHO DON'T LOVE TO BE AROUND DACHSIES. OH, NONSENSE.
UH, MY SENTIMENTS EXACTLY, MR. TOYAMA.
DOG NOT BELONG HERE. THAT'S RIGHT. YOU HEAR THAT, CHLOE ?
NOW, GO ON. BEAT IT.
HI, MARK. WELL, HELLO, DOC. HOW ARE YOU ?
HEY, IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR WIFE HAS HER WISH. A REAL CHAMPION.
AH. A REAL PAIN SOMETIMES, I'LL TELL YOU THAT.
GO ON, CHLOE. BEAT IT. GO ON.
OF COURSE I CAN SEE WHERE YOUR SYMPATHIES LIE.
HOW IS BRUTUS ? HE'S GETTING ALONG JUST GREAT, DOC.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE HIM ? I SURE WOULD.
BRUTUS DESERVES SOMETHING OUT OF THIS PARTY. COME ON. ALL RIGHT.
YES, SIR, MARK. HE IS BEAUTIFUL.
- OF COURSE, I COULD SEE THAT WHEN HE WAS A PUP. - THERE YOU GO, BOY.
THE BEST DANE I EVER BRED, I THINK. YEAH.
AND IS YOUR WIFE GETTING USED TO HAVING HIM AROUND NOW ?
DOC, LET'S SAY SHE'S ADJUSTED TO IT. THE DACHSHUNDS ARE HER PETS.
ESPECIALLY THAT LITTLE, UH, CHLOE.
SHE'S REALLY GOT THE BUG. SHE'S NOT GONNA BE HAPPY TILL SHE WINS A BLUE RIBBON.
WHAT ABOUT YOU ? DID YOU EVER THINK OF TRYING FOR ONE YOURSELF ?
UH-- YOU MEAN WITH BRUTUS ?
HE'S A FINE DOG. DOC, THAT'S WHAT HE'S GONNA STAY TOO. JUST PLAIN DOG.
HE-- I DON'T WANT ANY SPOILED AND PAMPERED SHOW HORSE ON MY HANDS.
CHLOE
MARK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ?
JUST SHOWING BRUTUS TO DR. PRUITT. IS CHLOE STILL WANDERING AROUND ?
I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA PUT THE LITTLE WIENER BACK IN THE HOUSE.
BUT SHE'S NOT DOING ANY HARM HERE. SHE PROBABLY FOUND SOME PLACE TO HIDE...
WHERE SHE COULD WATCH THE FUN.
YOU KNOW, WE SHOULD BE GETTING BACK TO THE GUESTS, HMM ? OKAY. LET'S GO, DOC.
SEE YOU LATER, BOY.
SO LONG, BRUTUS.
EXCUSE ME.
MARK, WHERE ARE YOU GOING ? WHAT ? I WAS JUST WONDERING WHAT WAS BOTHERING BRUTUS.
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH BRUTUS. NOW, HE'S PERFECTLY ALL RIGHT.
AND WILL YOU PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO OUR GUESTS ?
MR. CHADWICK, I DON'T BELIEVE YOU'VE MET MY HUSBAND.
HELLO. OH, CHLOE'S FATHER ! HOW DO YOU DO, MR. GARRISON.
EAT SOMETHING, HARRY.
"EAT SOMETHING, HARRY." NOBODY EVER SAYS, "DRINK SOMETHING, HARRY."
AH, YOU CUTE LITTLE RASCAL.
MAVIS, MAVIS, COME HERE. I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
COME ON. I WANT TO SHOW YOU THE CUTEST THING.
THERE'S A TINY LITTLE DOG IN THERE EATING A BONE.
HARRY. NO, HONEST. YOU CAN SEE FOR YOURSELF.
JUST LOOK IN THE PAGODA.
WHAT'S THAT ?
- "RION" ! "RION" ! - "RION" !
LION ? OH, IT CAN'T BE ! HE'S TIED UP !
"RION" ! "RION," "RION" !
WHERE IS HE ? WHERE IS HE ?
BRUTUS ! COME HERE !
BRUTUS ! OH !
OH ! MARK ! MARK !
OH, DON'T STAND THERE. DO SOMETHING !
STOP HIM ! BRUTUS !
COME HERE, BRUTUS ! COME HERE !
BRUTUS !
EXCUSE ME.
BRUTUS !
EXCUSE ME.
OH ! MARK !
WHOA, BOY ! WHOA, BOY !
BRUTUS ! STOP ! OH, STOP HIM !
WHAT A DOG.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU, GARRISON ? CAN'T YOU CONTROL YOUR DOG ?
BRUTUS ! HOLD IT !
STOP ! BRUTUS, COME HERE !
I'M TRYING !
BRUTUS ? HERE, BOY. HERE, BOY.
MR. CHADWICK ! MR. CHADWICK, JUST GRAB MY HAND.
**
FRAN !
ARE YOU OKAY, HONEY ?
NOW, HERE WE GO.
MARK ! FRAN, I REALLY AM SORRY ABOUT THIS. I--
MARK ! MARK. I REALLY AM, HONEY.
FRAN ? MARK !
WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?
I WISH YOU HADN'T DONE THAT, BRUTUS.
OH, BRUTUS. KNOCK IT OFF, WILL YA ?
STAY !
KNOCK IT OFF.
THAT GOES FOR ALL OF YOU.
WHO WAS THAT ?
WHERE ?
ON THE TELEPHONE. TOYAMA.
OH.
WHEN IS HE COMING TO CLEAN UP ?
HE ISN'T.
OH. NEITHER IS KENJO.
IN FACT, THE ENTIRE JAPANESE-AMERICAN COMMUNITY...
HAS DECLARED OUR HOUSE A DISASTER AREA.
WELL, WHEN IS HE COMING FOR HIS JUNK ?
IT IS NOW OUR JUNK. WHAT ?
THREE HUNDRED AND 25 DOLLARS WORTH OF JAPANESE LANTERNS,
BROKEN HIBACHIS AND PAPIER-MACHE PAGODAS.
THAT IN ADDITION TO WHAT WE'LL UNDOUBTEDLY HAVE TO PAY...
FOR RUINED CLOTHES, MEDICATION AND THE SHATTERED NERVES OF ALL OUR EX-FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS.
OKAY. ALL RIGHT. THE TELEPHONE HAS NOT STOPPED RINGING.
MEL CHADWICK IS ON THE VERGE OF PNEUMONIA,
JANE FELTON HAD A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN...
AND THE DRUGSTORE HAS RUN OUT OF VAPORIZERS. OKAY ! ALL RIGHT.
MARK !
MARK, I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT I CALLED DR. PRUITT THIS MORNING.
TO TELL HIM WHAT ? TO TELL HIM THAT YOU WILL BE RETURNING BRUTUS THIS AFTERNOON.
RETURNING BRUTUS !
MY MIND IS MADE UP. THAT DOG TURNED VICIOUS.
HE GOES, OR ELSE. OR ELSE WHAT ? LISTEN HERE.
HE WAS ABSOLUTELY BLAMELESS FOR WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT, FRAN.
OH, BLAMELESS !
BRUTUS IS A KIND, LOVABLE, INTELLIGENT ANIMAL !
AW, SHUT UP, YOU IDIOT.
NOW, LISTEN, FRAN ! LET'S SIT DOWN AND CALMLY AND COOLLY DISCUSS THIS THING !
GOOD MORNING, BRUTUS. UP KINDA EARLY, AIN'T YA ?
OH, NOW, DID YOU MAKE THIS MESS ?
YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.
YOU SHOULDN'T EAT THIS STUFF. IT AIN'T GOOD FOR YA.
LOOKS LIKE IT WAS QUITE A PARTY.
HEY, WHAT'D YOU DO, LOSE A BONE IN THERE OR SOMETHING ?
COME ON. GET DOWN. THERE'S NOTHING FOR YOU IN THERE.
ATTABOY.
SORRY, PAL. WHATEVER IT IS YOU WANTED IS GONE NOW.
COME ON ! THIS IS NO TIME FOR GAMES.
HEY. WHAT'S-- WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU ? IT'S ME !
EDDIE.
SAY, WHAT'S THE MATTER ? YOU SICK OR SOMETHING ?
KNOCK IT OFF. MR. GARRISON !
TAKE IT EASY, NOW, WILL YA ? MR. GARRISON !
EDDIE, WHAT'S WRONG ? CALL OFF YOUR DOG !
HE'S GONE CRAZY OR SOMETHING ! PLEASE, MA'AM, DO SOMETHING ! BRUTUS, GET BACK ! MARK, MARK !
ALL I DID WAS EMPTY THE TRASH, AND-- WHAT'S THE MATTER ?
BRUTUS ATTACKED EDDIE. ATTACKED EDDIE ! COME HERE, BRUTUS !
BRUTUS, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU, HUH ? WHAT'S THE MATTER ?
WHAT IS IT, MARK ? LOOK, MR. GARRISON.
YOU'RE NICE PEOPLE, BUT I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THIS. THAT'S ENOUGH !
I'M VERY SORRY, EDDIE. I MEAN, I'M SURE THERE MUST BE SOME REASON FOR IT.
BRUTUS, COME HERE !
MARK ! DO YOU HEAR SOMETHING ? COME HERE, FELLA. WHAT'S THE MATTER, BOY ?
WHERE'S CHLOE ? EDDIE, DID YOU SEE CHLOE ?
NO, MA'AM. I DIDN'T. CHLOE
HEY, YOU DON'T SUPPOSE-- HOLD BRUTUS, EDDIE. HOLD HIM.
MARK, BE CAREFUL.
- MARK !
MARK, BE CAREFUL !
M IS SHE IN THERE, MARK ?
I DON'T KNOW.
OH, POOR CHLOE !
- SHE'S OKAY.
SHE'S ALL RIGHT, FRAN. OH, LOOK AT HER !
OH, MY POOR BABY.
HEY, YOU KNOW SOMETHING ? I'LL BETCHA THAT'S WHY BRUTUS WOULDN'T LET ME IN THE TRUCK.
HE KNEW THAT LITTLE POOCH WAS IN THERE. IT KINDA LOOKS THAT WAY.
DOESN'T IT ? POOR BRUTUS.
BET YOUR SILLY FATHER FORGOT TO GIVE YOU BREAKFAST.
COME ON. I'LL GIVE YOU A COUPLE OF EGGS.
OH, BOY.
OH, EXCUSE ME. OKAY. TAKE FIVE.
COME ON, GIRLS. COME ON.
COME ON.
OH, OH, THERE'S MY BEAUTIFUL CHLOE.
YES. YES. WHAT'S THE MATTER ?
YOU WANT YOUR PICTURE PAINTED TOO, HUH ? IS THAT WHAT IT IS ?
OH, WILL YOU GET OFF ? YOU BIG--
FRAN, HE JUST WANTS HIS SHARE. COME HERE, BRUTUS.
COME, BOY. COME HERE. WHOA.
MARK, HE HAS GOT TO LEARN THAT HE IS NOT A LAP DOG.
NOW, WE'RE NOT GONNA HAVE ANY PEACE IN THIS HOUSE TILL HE REALIZES HE IS NOT A DACHSHUND.
WELL, I DON'T THINK THAT HE THINKS THAT--
YOU KNOW, FRAN, YOU COULD BE RIGHT.
GO ON, GIRLS. GO ON. GO ON.
SCATTER. SCATTER. WHAT HAVE YOU GOT THERE ?
IT'S THE DOG BOOK.
I'M GONNA SHOW BRUTUS WHO HE IS.
OH, MARK. WELL, IT'S OUR FAULT. WE NEVER TOLD HIM.
YOU PAY ATTENTION TO THIS, BRUTUS. THIS IS IMPORTANT.
BRUTUS, NOW, YOU LOOK HERE.
LOOK. THIS IS A DACHSHUND.
YOU SEE THAT ? THEY ARE DACHSHUNDS.
YOU'RE NOT A DACHSHUND, AND YOU NEVER WILL BE. NO, NO, NO.
DACHSHUND, PHOOEY ! OH, REALLY. NOW, LET'S NOT GET SO CARRIED AWAY.
PLAY ALONG WITH THIS A MINUTE, WILL YOU ? NOW, STICK WITH ME, BRUTUS.
STAY WITH ME BOY, HUH ? NOW.
AH. NOW, HERE'S WHAT YOU ARE, BRUTUS.
A GREAT DANE. A GREAT DANE.
DACHSHUNDS, NO. DANES, YES.
YOU ARE A GREAT DANE.
LOOK AT THAT. YOU SEE THAT ?
THAT'S ALL THERE WAS TO IT. HE JUST HAD TO BE SHOWN !
HOW ABOUT THAT ? YOU KNOW, HE TOOK ONE LOOK AT THAT PICTURE;
ONE LOOK, AND I COULD TELL THAT-- UH, MARK.
THAT HE STILL THINKS HE'S A DACHSHUND.
OH.
"DACHSHUND, PHOOEY. GREAT DANE, YES."
YEAH. POOR MARK.
HEEL, BOY. BRUTUS, HEEL.
NOW, LOOK, FELLOW. WHEN I TELL YOU TO HEEL, YOU HEEL !
HEEL.
WELL. WHO'S LEADING WHO ?
HI, DOC. ALL RIGHT. HEEL, BRUTUS. HEEL.
HEY, WHAT'S THE DIAGNOSIS ON CHLOE ?
CHLOE HAS A RASH. A RASH. WELL, WELL, WELL.
YOUR WIFE WAS SURE IT WAS SCARLET FEVER, BUT IT'S JUST A MINOR SKIN IRRITATION.
NO PROBLEM. YEAH. THAT DOG SHOW'S GOT HER TIED UP IN KNOTS.
I HOPE SHE'S GONNA MAKE IT THROUGH THE NEXT SIX DAYS.
HOPE I DO. ALL RIGHT, BRUTUS.
STAY.
HOW ABOUT THAT, HUH ? WANT A DRINK, DOC ?
NO THANK YOU. NO THANK YOU. BRUTUS, LET ME HAVE A LOOK AT YOU.
I TELL YOU, YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY MARVELOUS.
YOU'VE KEPT HIM IN FINE SHAPE, MARK.
YEAH, WELL, TRYING TO TEACH HIM OBEDIENCE IS KEEPING ME IN SHAPE, I'LL TELL YOU THAT.
FINE LINES, NICE SQUARE HEAD.
HE'S GROWN UP JUST THE WAY I FIGURED.
- MAKE A FINE SHOW DOG. - OH, COME ON, DOC.
NO, NO, I MEAN IT. I'D LIKE TO WORK WITH HIM, IF YOU'LL LET ME.
- NO, NO, NO. - TEACH HIM RING MANNERS, STANCE. HUH ?
NO, NO. ONE IN THE FAMILY'S ENOUGH, DOC. IN FACT, IT'S TOO MUCH.
ALL I WANT HIM TO DO IS LEARN HOW TO WALK AROUND ON THIS LEASH...
WITHOUT JERKING MY ARM OUT OF THE SOCKET.
HEY, STICK AROUND A MINUTE, WILL YOU ? I WANT YOU TO SEE IF I'M DOING ANYTHING WRONG, OKAY ?
ALL RIGHT, BRUTUS. HEEL.
HOW ABOUT THAT, HUH ?
DOC
OH. DOC PRUITT, DO YOU THINK I COULD TAKE CHLOE FOR A WALK ?
WHY, OF COURSE. WELL, YOU KNOW THAT IRRITATION--
I WAS WONDERING-- I MEAN, IT COULD BE AN ALLERGY. MAYBE IT'S SOMETHING AROUND HERE.
I ASSURE YOU, MRS. GARRISON, IT'S NOTHING SERIOUS. HEEL NOW. HEEL.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. SIT DOWN.
COME ON, BRUTUS. SIT. MARK.
WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING ?
WELL, I'M TRAINING HIM. SIT DOWN. SIT DOWN.
- OH, REALLY ! - WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "OH, REALLY" ?
WELL, IT'S JUST THAT BRUTUS IS--
WELL, REALLY !
FRAN, YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU SAY "REALLY" IN THAT TONE OF VOICE,
YOU USUALLY REALLY MEAN SOMETHING BY IT.
OH, MARK. DON'T BE SO SENSITIVE.
IT'S JUST THAT BRUTUS IS A SWEET, CLUMSY OX,
AND I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD EXPECT TOO MUCH FROM HIM, THAT'S ALL.
COME ON, CHLOE.
HEEL.
I'LL BE SEEING YOU.
DOC.
YOU'VE GOT A DEAL. GET HIM READY FOR THAT SHOW.
OH, HOLD ON, MARK. NOW, THAT SHOW IS ONLY SIX DAYS AWAY.
NOW, WAIT A MINUTE. IT WAS YOUR IDEA, YOU KNOW.
YOU SAID HE WAS GOOD ENOUGH. YEAH, I KNOW, BUT I--
WHAT ABOUT THAT BLUE RIBBON YOU'VE BEEN TALKIN' ABOUT, HUH ?
NO, NO, NO. IT'S IMPOSSIBLE. IMPOSSIBLE.
THEN YOU'LL DO IT ? OF COURSE I WILL.
ALL RIGHT. NOW, ONE THING, DOC.
DON'T TELL MY WIFE, HMM ?
MARK, UNDER THESE CONDITIONS, I WOULDN'T TELL ANYBODY.
I WOULDN'T EVEN TELL MY MOTHER.
HAVE A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP, BRUTUS.
BRUTUS. ALL RIGHT. BRUTUS, YOU UNDERSTAND--
WAIT-- WAIT A MINUTE. ALL RIGHT, NOW--
NOW, REMEMBER. YOU HOLD THE LEASH IN ONE HAND. YEAH.
AND THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF THE DOG. RIGHT.
NOW, LET'S TRY IT NOW. NICE AND EASY, HUH ? OKAY.
BRUTUS, HEEL.
HOLD HIM, HOLD HIM, HOLD HIM.
HOLD HIM, NOW. NICE AND EASY, HUH ?
MARK, IF YOU-- KEEP CONTROL OF THE DOG.
THAT'S RIGHT. AT ALL TIMES.
YOU CAN DO IT.
STAY.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK, DOC ?
I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW.
HE'S NOT CONSISTENT.
THERE SHOULD BE A PROUD LOOK TO HIM, A DANE LOOK.
SOMETIMES HE'S FINE, AND THEN HE SEEMS TO LOSE HIS CHARACTER.
WELL, THAT'S THE OLD DACHSIE INFLUENCE. HE STILL THINKS HE'S ONE OF THEM.
OH ? AND SO ALL WE'VE GOTTA DO NOW...
IS TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO PERSUADE HIM THAT HE'S A GREAT DANE.
THAT'S RIGHT, DOC. THAT'S RIGHT. BY TOMORROW.
[ People Chattering, Dogs Barking ]
KEEP HIM STILL, WILL YOU, MARK ? YEAH, OKAY, DOC.
HEY, ARE YOU SURE FRAN'S NOT GONNA COME IN HERE ?
NO. THE DACHSIES ARE BENCHED CLEAR OVER TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BUILDING.
THE OTHER SIDE. OKAY.
COME ON, BOY. COME ON. HOLD STILL, WILL YA ? DOGGONE IT.
NOW JUST RELAX, BOY. THEY'RE DOGS, JUST LIKE YOU ARE.
WELL, NOW, LET'S SEE. LET'S SEE.
YEAH. YOU'RE AS READY AS YOU EVER WILL BE, BRUTUS.
- DOC, DOWN ! QUICK. WHAT ?
DOWN ! WHAT'S THE MATTER ?
IT'S FRAN. WELL, WHAT'S SHE DOING OVER HERE ?
I DON'T KNOW ! SHE BELONGS WITH THE HOUNDS.
- OH, THANK YOU.
BOY, THAT WAS CLOSE. WELL, YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO DUCK HER FOR LONG.
JUST LONG ENOUGH TO WIN THAT BLUE RIBBON, DOC. THAT'S ALL I WANT.
GREAT DANES TO THE RING, PLEASE.
GREAT DANES TO THE RING. WELL, HERE'S YOUR CHANCE.
YEAH. THANKS, DOC. GOOD LUCK, MARK.
THANK YOU. HEAD UP, BOY.
OH ! HERE THEY COME.
BEAUTIFUL.
ANY LAST WORDS OF ADVICE, DOC ? NOPE. YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN. GOOD LUCK.
THAT'S WHAT I WAS AFRAID OF.
HI.
MARK. - ALL RIGHT, DOC.
- WALK YOUR DOGS, PLEASE. - HEEL.
OH, EXCUSE ME. NICE DOG.
OH.
LOOK, SWEETIEKINS.
THOSE ARE GREAT DANES.
UP, UP, UP, UP, UP, UP, UP.
UP, BRUTUS, UP. STAND UP. COME ON.
COME ON, FELLA. STAND UP.
JUST A MINUTE. HOLD EVERYTHING.
IS THAT DOG SICK OR JUST TIRED ? OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.
IT'S, UH-- IT'S STAGE FRIGHT.
STAGE FRIGHT. YEAH, YEAH.
YEAH.
WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM ? I DON'T KNOW.
HE MUST HAVE GOT THE IDEA HE WAS A DACHSIE AGAIN.
STACK YOUR DOGS, PLEASE.
- HEAD UP, BOY. HEAD UP. MARK. MARK.
DOC, THERE'S NO SENSE HANGING AROUND HERE. I MIGHT AS WELL GO HOME NOW.
NO, NO. YOU'VE GOT TO STICK IT OUT.
HEY, LOOK AT HIM. DOC ?
WELL, NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL A GREAT DANE.
MAKE A DEAL WITH YOU. WHAT'S THAT ?
WON'T HAVE YOU THROWN OUT IF YOU TELL ME HOW YOU MANAGED IT.
MANAGED WHAT ? SWITCHING DOGS.
SWITCHING-- WELL, I DIDN'T !
EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT'S THE SAME DOG ?
WELL, I-IT'S A LITTLE HARD FOR ME TO BELIEVE MYSELF.
NOW, DON'T WORRY, MARK. YOU'RE DOING FINE.
HEY, DOC. THIS IS MAKING ME A NERVOUS WRECK. WHAT GOT INTO BRUTUS ANYWAY ?
WELL, HE JUST GOT A LOOK AT THAT OTHER DANE OVER THERE, THAT FEMALE.
SHE'S WAITING TO BE JUDGED FOR BEST OF BREED.
YOU MEAN JUST BECAUSE HE SAW HER--
MM. DOGS ARE JUST LIKE PEOPLE.
TAKES A FEMALE TO MAKE A FELLOW WANT TO SHOW OFF.
YEAH. WELL, HE'S SURE SHOWING OFF NOW, ISN'T HE, DOC ? YEAH.
ALL RIGHT. THAT'S IT.
YOU.
AND YOU. WHAT ?
WALK YOUR DOGS AGAIN. BOTH OF YOU.
OH. YES, SIR.
HEEL, BRUTUS.
BRING IT UP.
WELL, OF ALL THE-- REALLY, I--
I'M SO SORRY. IT SLIPPED.
THAT'S ENOUGH.
THAT'S ENOUGH ! YES, SIR.
YOU SURE HAD ME FOOLED THE FIRST TIME AROUND.
CONGRATULATIONS. FINE DOG. THANK YOU.
JUST WAIT OVER THERE. OKAY.
CONGRATULATIONS. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THANK YOU.
THAT'S MY BOY ! I KNEW IT. IT WAS YOURS ALL THE WAY. THANK YOU, DOC. HE DID IT.
GOOD DOG. BRUTUS, I'M PROUD OF YOU. HOW ABOUT THAT !
HEY, LISTEN. TAKE OVER FOR ME, WILL YOU ? HANG ONTO BRUTUS FOR ME.
WHY I'M GONNA FIND FRAN AND WAVE THIS UNDER HER CUTE LITTLE NOSE.
THAT'S WHERE I'M GOING. OH, NO, NO, NO. YOU CAN'T LEAVE NOW.
WHY NOT ? I WON, DIDN'T I ? ONLY FOR MALE DANES.
NOW HE'S GOT TO BE JUDGED AGAINST THIS FEMALE FOR THE BEST OF BREED.
LOOK, DOC. I'VE GOT WHAT I WANT. HERE, TAKE OVER FOR ME.
YOU HAVE A-- BUT, MARK ! I--
HOLD THAT, WILL YOU, PLEASE ? THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
HEY, FRAN.
MARK. YOU DID COME.
YOU BET YOUR LIFE I-- OH !
I WOULDN'T MISS THIS FOR ANYTHING. OH, DON'T RUB IT IN.
WHAT ? WELL, YOU SAW. SECOND PLACE, AFTER ALL I WENT THROUGH.
AFTER ALL I PUT YOU THROUGH.
HEY, I-- I REALLY AM SORRY, FRAN. I REALLY AM.
NO, MARK. I AM. ABOUT EVERYTHING.
WHY DON'T WE GO HOME ? I DON'T LIKE PUBLIC CONFESSIONS.
HUH ? YEAH.
LET'S GO HOME.
WHAT'S THAT ? WHAT'S WHAT ?
MARK, ARE YOU HIDING SOMETHING ?
IT'S A, UH-- I PICKED IT UP IN THERE.
MARK, THAT'S A BLUE RIBBON ! THEY'RE VERY VALUABLE.
YOU CAN'T JUST GO AROUND PICKING UP BLUE RIBBONS.
NOW, YOU PUT IT BACK. FRAN--
WORKING CLASS. BEST OF WINNERS TO THE RING, PLEASE.
BEST OF WINNERS. HEY, YOU DON'T SUPPOSE--
COME ON ! NO, COME ON-- MARK !
MARK, MARK. WHAT ARE YOU-- MARK !
BRUTUS ?
SURPRISED ? OH !
- BEST OF BREED. - ONWARD AND UPWARD, DOC.
MARK, YOU NEVER TOLD ME ! I'M SORRY, HONEY. IT WAS CHILDISH OF ME.
BUT THEN WHEN YOU DIDN'T WIN, I DIDN'T HAVE THE HEART TO TELL YOU.
- OH, YOU SWEET, WONDERFUL BOOB. I LOVE YOU.
WILL YOU BE QUIET AND WATCH YOUR BROTHER ?
TAH-DAH !
YOU KNOW, MARK, IT'S TOO BAD BRUTUS DIDN'T DO BETTER IN THE WORKING GROUP.
LOOK, THIRD PLACE WAS JUST FINE. WE'VE GOT A MATCHED SET.
FROM THE BOTTOM RANK TO THE TOP. HOW DOES IT LOOK, EH ?
AH, IT'S PERFECT. MARK, WHERE'S THE OTHER BLUE RIBBON ?
OH, I GAVE IT TO DOC PRUITT.
BOY, DID HE DESERVE IT.
HEY, HONEY, I'M SORRY IT WAS SUCH A DISAPPOINTING DAY FOR YOU.
OH, DON'T BE SILLY, MARK.
AT LEAST IT'S ENDING BETTER THAN IT BEGAN, HUH ?
I'LL MAKE A DEAL WITH YOU. YOU WILL
NO MORE DOG SHOWS. NO MORE DOG SHOWS.
OKAY. NO MORE BLUE RIBBONS. NO MORE BLUE RIBBONS.
I'LL WORK. YOU KEEP HOUSE. MM.
OKAY. ALL WE'LL RAISE ARE ORDINARY, EVERYDAY DOGS.
AMONG OTHER THINGS. HMM ?
BRUTUS. BE QUIET, WILL YOU ?
MARK, HE'S DREAMING.
YEAH. ABOUT THAT BEWITCHING FEMALE IN THE SPOTTED COAT, I'LL BET YOU.
DO YOU THINK THAT'S WHY HE REALLY WON, MARK
YOU THINK THE FEMALE MADE THE DIFFERENCE ?
HONEY, FEMALES ALWAYS MAKE THE DIFFERENCE.