Howdy, boys.
Good mornin'.
Good mornin', Mr. Love.
That's the rough string you want broke?
Oh, they ain't so rough.
What's that fella doin' tangled up in that fence?
Him? He's new.
He'll never be old.
See ya around, Mr. Love.
Now wait a minute, boys.
You all are hired on here as horse tamers.
Well, we just quit.
Look, those animals ain't gonna be no trouble at all.
Not to a couple of good horse-handlers like you two.
Oh, there's-- There's one or two of 'em run out kinda rank,
but most of 'em ponies I had broke already.
Now, you take that blaze-face roan
standin' out there like a milk-pen calf.
Bet he's been rode a thousand miles.
A-All it'll take is a couple of saddlin's to gentle him down.
Next time you're in Sedona, Mr. Love,
you better get your eyes tested.
Mmm?
There's healed-over spur marks on that old roan's shoulders.
That means only one thing. Trouble.
Decent outfit'd give a horse like that away
to keep from cripplin' up good cowboys.
I'm tellin' you that roan's got making's of a good rope pony.
Get a little of that tallow melted down and
I'll probably want him for the old lady and the kids to ride.
I'm payin' more than I did last year.
How much?
Say $5 a head?
Seven.
Say six?
Naw, you can get your new man to do it for that.
Say six and a half?
Seven.
Say seven.
Now get those fellas out of that corral
and let that string settle down, huh?
Rafe! You boys pick up your rigs and walk away.
Glad to have you fellas back with me again this year.
I was just tellin' Mrs. Love this mornin'.
"Here it is the day to start tamin' spoiled horses
"and I haven't heard word one
"from my old friend Ben Jones or Howdy Lewis
since I bailed 'em out of jail in Sedona two weeks ago."
You got your bail back.
And we ain't your old friends.
Now how can you say a thing like that?
Don't all these years you been bustin' broncs
mean anything to you?
Money.
Just like I said, boys, as gentle as a milk-pen calf.
See you around in a few days.
I wonder how come people call him Love?
Maybe 'cause he's so clean.
Cleanest fella I ever seen.
Tailor-made suits, $60 boots...
Yeah, he gets more work, pays less than any man I ever saw.
Like now, for instance.
Yeah, like now.
Oh, you must've been a mean son buck when you were young.
Ow. This horse is a damn cannibal.
All right, let me have him.
How about that?
Got a good rein on him.
Hey, you know, maybe old Ed Love wasn't puttin' us on.
Maybe this job'll be about half as tough as we thought.
You all right, Ben?
Oh, I'm fine.
Just fine.
Rise and shine. Breakfast in the swamp.
All right. How do you feel?
Like I'd like to take an ax
and hit that roan right between the eyes.
Ruin the axe.
Just like that damn Jim Ed to leave us here
with a pen full of spoiled horses.
A sharp ax.
Sometimes I get to wishing I was back wrangling dudes.
Whatever made you quit?
A woman.
A woman?
A woman from back East, name of Toy Smith.
Well, that's a mighty pretty name.
A mighty pretty woman.
I was working for the Castle Rock outfit over near Phoenix.
You know it. It's one of them fancy spreads
that's catered to rich folks from back East.
Got them hot springs all around.
Got 'em rocked in like regular windmill tanks.
You mean kinda like swimming pools?
You could say that.
Anyway, I had this job taking the dudes out
for moonlight rides among the cactus,
and then I'd cook up a meal on the campfire and...
then play the guitar and sing something or other.
You sing?
Oh, I just run a bunch of words together, beat on the strings.
That's how it all started. Seems this Toy Smith,
she thought I was a great primitive singer.
Uh, what's that?
Primitive. How the hell do I know.
Anyway, at night when my chores were done,
there's Toy hangin' over the corral gate
waitin' for me to go swimming in one of them hot water tanks.
She was some swimmer.
And float.
She looked like a mountain range laying out there on her back.
I swear she followed me every place I went except the toilet.
Every time we'd have a dance she'd grab me
and waltz all night.
You couldn't see around her, and you--
No use looking up with 40 pounds of her hanging over your head.
All I could do was hold on and pray.
She was rich and you passed up a chance to hook onto her?
I didn't exactly pass it up.
Things happened to alter the course of true love.
Oh.
It seems like this Toy Smith
wasn't the only one liked my singing.
This other gal was about half as big
and twice as pretty.
One night I sent Toy off to bed. I told her I'd to shoe a horse.
Oh, come on, now. Whoever heard of shoeing a horse at night?
Toy did.
At least I thought she did at the time.
I went for a ride and a swim with this other little thing.
I never figured Toy'd do what she did.
What was that?
Come at me with a ball-peen hammer.
Me in the middle of one of them tanks.
She catch ya?
Do you holes in my skull?
I cleared that water like a duck with his tail on fire,
grabbed my horse, lit out for Phoenix and never looked back.
Ah, sometimes I get to wishin', though,
I'd stayed and faced ole Toy instead.
If she just hadn't been so damn fat.
You finish your breakfast while I start workin' the horses.
What suits you just tickles me plum to death. Ben...
Tell me why you hirin' on year after year with Jim Ed Love?
Because one day I'm gonna save up enough money
to buy myself a boat.
Then I'll find myself a place where there ain't no grass,
because if there ain't no grass, there ain't no damned horses.
You can kick the good cowboy
into bein' a crippled-up old man long before his time.
Do you think you'll ever make it?
I'll make it.
Ben.
That old roan. He's thrown you six times now.
You ain't gonna try him again today, are you?
Have to. He's gaining on me.
That tears it.
I'll take your horse. Be right back.
I thought you said you'd be right back?
Time flies.
Now, I hate to do this to you, horse, but you have thrown,
you've kicked and you have dragged me for the last time.
Howdy, start the truck.
What are you gonna do?
I'm gonna run over this knot-head!
Run over him?
Yeah. He tried to kill me, I'm gonna kill him.
You can't do that!
Oh, can't I? You just watch and see.
I'm gonna go way back there
and get a good run at him.
He'll never know what hit him.
There's more than one way to break a horse.
But, Ben!
Ben!
Watch out!
You all right, Ben?
Oh, I'm fine.
Just fine.
Well, that's the last of 'em.
Well, four days to top out 20 head. That ain't bad.
Yeah--
That is.
Howdy, boys. How's it coming?
I was getting ready to bring 'em in.
I was gonna wait at the ranch, but I couldn't.
Boys, I'm gonna give you a chance of a lifetime.
A chance to earn more money than you ever dreamed of.
Pay no attention to him.
I ain't.
Up at the winter camp there's about
150 or 200 strays that's gone wild.
I want you to go up there and spend the winter
gathering that stock in for me.
It's high in elevation, but snow doesn't stay on the ground.
And besides, it'll be just like a regular vacation for you.
Suppose you just pay us our wages, we'll be on our way.
I'd be willing to pay say $5 a head for all you gather in.
Cows, calves, and steers.
Say $5. Think on it.
Did you ever hear anything like it?
Well, what do you say?
Well, I say $6.
Seven.
Well, say seven.
Now here's enough money to buy your winter grub,
and I'm gonna keep what money's comin' to you
and you can pick it all up in the spring.
Probably need a wheelbarrow to haul it away.
And, uh,
by the way, you can take that rough string along with you.
Give you a chance to work 'em like they need to be worked.
You know, sore backs, tender hoofs.
That's what makes gentle horses.
Be seein' ya come spring, fellas.
Howdy, it comes to me that we ain't exactly
the smartest cowboys that ever lived.
You could say that.
Who's comin'?
It's Ben and Howdy.
Ben.
I bet there ain't a rabbit within five miles of this place.
Howdy, Ben. Howdy, Howdy.
Where's your Pa?
He went into town to get some whiskey mash.
He ought to be back soon.
Where you boys headed?
Gonna winter in high country.
Pick up a few strays for Jim Ed Love.
He's starving to death.
Like a big fat hog.
Can you stay for supper?
I'll bake you an apple pie.
Whatever suits you just tickles us plum to death.
Turn your horses loose in the corral
and pitch 'em some hay from the stack.
- Much obliged. - Ben?
Mmm?
It's good to see ya again.
Good to see you too, Meg.
That's what I'd call real neighborly girls.
And I'd say that if their Pa didn't make
the best moonshine in Colfax County.
Coffee, Ben? Yes, please.
Your daughters are sure growing up, Vince.
Ha! Should've had boys. Women are no help at all around here.
They been tryin' to fix that windmill for a month now.
We used to have two windmills at our place back home.
Had to tear one of them down.
Wasn't enough wind to turn 'em both.
You're pullin' my leg, Howdy.
How's old Jim Ed?
Oh, he's fine.
How much did his calves weigh out?
Averaged about 400 pounds each.
Man, that's good. Mmm.
I didn't have no calves to ship this year.
Business has just been plum bad.
Gettin' so nobody drinks anymore.
We do.
You boys, uh, care for a little snort?
Whatever suits you just tickles us plum to death.
Yeah. Excuse me.
Keep your eye out, old Blue.
Now, down, down. Watch the steps.
Ah. Get out of there!
Get!
Some fellas know how to make store-bought clothes.
Some can make lots of money, like Jim Ed Love,
but there ain't nobody makes better whiskey than you, Vince.
More?
I don't mind if I do.
Next.
Howdy?
Can I talk to you man to man?
Shoot.
How come you to have the name Howdy?
I made it up.
You did?
Why?
Marion.
Marion?
That was my given name. Marion Lewis.
Man can't ride buckin' horses for a livin'
with a handle like that, so I changed it.
Even had it drawn up and sworn at to make it legal.
Now no matter where I go or who I meet,
first thing they see me they say "Howdy." Mmm.
Makes me feel right off they know me.
Always said you had a friendly streak in you, Howdy.
Speaking-- Uh, speaking of being friendly.
Did you see that little old--
Little old blaze-face roan in that bunch we brought in today?
First thing I noticed when I drove in.
Did you ever see a running walk like that?
Did seem he kinda moved easy.
Well, sir, I'd say that that horse has the best rein of--
Of any horse that I've ever rode.
- That, if nothin' else. - Right.
What do you mean, if nothin' else?
That horse is a--
runs faster than a thin jackrabbit
and stop before you get that rein pulled up half tight.
Can I have a little bit more of that wonderful stuff, Vince?
You know,
a horse like-- Like that would be just fine
for a little outfit like this.
You could work cattle with him,
and you could also just ride him for p-p-pure pleasure.
Somethin' else too.
When one of those old hound dogs of yours
takes off after a coyote--
Why, you wanna be there for that kill so-- Oh, so bad.
Y-You-- Isn't that right?
Sure is. Right.
I'd kill him with my hands. Yeah, you--
Well, you wouldn't have to worry about being there
with that old roan.
But he ain't my horse.
Well, now, j-just a minute.
That's where you're wrong, Vince. Because for a--
Ahem. --A slight consideration,
I'm, uh,
I'm gonna give him to you.
I told you I ain't got a dime to my name.
Ah, sure you didn't think I was askin' for money, now, did you?
Didn't I?
No, all I want is just--
Just eight jugs of that wonderful stuff of yours.
Well, I don't know.
It's gonna be a long winter.
And a dry one.
Shh. Listen to that.
Oh, Vince, y-y-you--
You could catch that yappin' son of a buck
one hour before sunrise
and be there when the dogs put the bite on him.
What do you say?
I'll do it.
I'll drink to that.
So will I.
Bye, Howdy.
Bye, Ben.
Home.
That high country's where we'll find most of the strays.
All straight up and down
and covered with buckthorn.
We'll have to dig some ditches in case it rains.
Water tower's probably got a hole in it.
We'll have to fix that corral fence before we bring 'em in.
And cut wood all winter to keep warm.
Yeah.
If we turn around, we'll be in Sedona in two days.
Well, let's just keep thinkin' about all those
back wages we're gonna draw in the spring, huh?
Sometimes I wished I wasn't so damn greedy.
Well, at least we got 10 that won't get away.
We got more than that.
Look.
Oh, hi, Vince.
Good to see ya so soon.
Uh, well, you fix your windmill?
How's your girls? How's business?
You got any new customers for that wonderful stuff of yours?
How's your girls? How's your hounds?
Howdy.
I want my whiskey back.
Oh, come on now. You must be kiddin', Vince.
I am like hell!
Why?
First place, I went huntin'.
I jumped a coyote less than a half mile from the house,
lined out on him right behind the hounds.
Well, that's good.
That ain't good at all.
That knot-head ran right past
where the hounds had that coyote down.
Just kept goin'. I didn't have a chance to glance at the fight!
Took me three miles to get him turned.
When I finally got back, it was all over.
Nothin' left of that coyote but a little patch of gray.
Next morning I saddled him up in the corral.
Walked him around, pretty as you please.
And just when I got to thinkin' that maybe yesterday
was an accident, it happened!
What happened? He bucked me off!
Broke down the barn door, and went to eatin' my whiskey mash!
Well, a spirited horse like that gets kinda hungry sometimes.
I figured if I couldn't ride him, I could plow with him.
How'd he work? Work?
He ran off with the plow, hung it up on the fence!
Tore out two hundred yards of good posts and barbed-wire.
Busted up all my harness!
I've been two days and nights tryin' to put it back together.
And I want my whiskey back!
I can't understand it. He never gave me any trouble.
No? Nope.
Then let's see you get on him and ride him.
Now?
Now.
Why not?
Now, please, just this one time, don't buck, huh?
See?
Circle him, Ben!
Where you been?
I've-- I've been out there in the bog.
The only place I could buck him out.
Where's Vince?
He took his wonderful stuff and left.
He still mad?
He said he hoped that old roan kicked your eyeballs out.
Oh.
It's gonna be a long, dry winter.
All right. Out!
What the hell are you doin' here, anyway?
There ain't a hen within forty miles.
You can say that again.
Ben.
Yeah?
How many more head do you wonder's still up in them hills?
Well, by the tracks, I'd say at least a hundred.
Do you realize we're just barely gonna get of here
in time to make the rodeo in Sedona?
Yeah. I've thought about that.
You sure you're gonna make it to Tahiti,
or one of them sandy places?
I'll make it.
You still gonna open up that saloon
with gals in grass skirts waiting on tables?
I'm gonna drink all day and hula all night.
I don't see how they can quiver all over like that
without somethin' comin' off.
Goodnight.
Howdy?
Mm?
The way that old roan keeps throwin' me...
You think maybe I'm losin' my touch?
Howdy?
Ben?
Yeah?
You ain't losin' your touch.
Sixty-seven, 68, 69, 70.
All mother cows and fat calves.
What's wrong with that?
Nothing.
Except that mountain there is gonna get harder to climb.
There's nothing in that timber up there now
but long-legged steers and thin bulls.
And we ain't got any horses around here fast enough
to get within rope range of 'em.
We got one that can.
Forget it.
Ben, there's probably 50 strays still up there.
Mmm. At $7 a head that's--
Howdy! You can talk until you're blue in the face,
but I'm not throwing my leg over that no-good roan again.
Not now or ever. And that is final!
Just look at him, would you?
Walkin' out calm and easy as you please.
I swear, sometimes he don't seem like the same animal.
Yeah, you could say that.
You still sore?
Yeah, all over.
You'll feel better when you line up behind one of them strays.
That one's wilder than mountain scenery.
You stay here. I'll get him.
Whatever suits you just tickles me plum to death.
Oh, I'm fine. I'm just--
Oh, boy.
You all right?
How'd I get back here?
I slung you over the black.
You know, that roan ran me between those trees on purpose.
It looked that way to me.
Where is he?
He followed us in. I turned him out in the corral.
You still got that gun in your bag?
Yeah. Get it.
But, Ben-- Get it!
You kill that animal, Jim Ed would make us pay for him.
Yeah. Probably twice what he's worth.
Maybe even more.
Will it shoot?
Never tried it.
It's Bull.
Compadres!
You all right, Bull?
Oh, I'm all right. I'm all right.
Come in and join us for a drink?
Huh, friend? Well, thank you, Ben.
Howdy.
Here we are. Sit down, huh?
Here we are. Uh, thank you, Ben.
What brings you out this way?
Been ridin' bulls in Hi-Lo.
How'd you do? Fourteenth place.
Saw your truck from the ridge. What are you doin' here?
We're chasin' strays for Jim Ed Love.
At $7 a head. Yeah.
Calves and all? Calves and all.
It's gonna be an old time in the hot town come spring.
Ah. How's the wife and kids?
Fine. How many you got now?
Wives? Kids.
Ten. But I ain't been home in a week.
Which reminds me, I'd better be gettin' on.
Oh, uh-- Uh, sit down, Bull, I mean, uh...
Well, I see you're still wearing those, uh, those spike spurs.
Oh, sure.
Yeah. All the time.
Well, now, how about that?
That really tears an animal up, doesn't it?
It shows him who's boss too.
Uh, we've been good friends for quite some time,
uh, isn't that a fact? Oh, that's a fact, Ben.
Well, now, after all, we have played poker together
and we've, uh, fist fought,
run women together,
and remember the time in Hi-Lo when we got thrown in jail
for breaking up that stud poker game with those Morrison boys?
Yeah, and what we did in the fountain
in front of the jail when they let us out?
Oh, boy, that was a real jellyroll, that was.
Uh, yes, well, now because of what we've been through,
you know, I'm gonna do somethin' for you, Bull.
Yes, sir, I'm gonna give you the greatest gift
that one man could give another.
You're gonna kill yourself for me.
No, no, better than that.
Uh, we have a horse out there.
It's a roan.
Yeah. Oh, I'd say he's probably the best piece of horseflesh
in the whole state of Arizona. Wouldn't you say so, Howdy?
That's a fact.
I'm gonna give him to you.
You're gonna gi-- Right.
I don't know how to thank you, Ben.
Don't you try. Just sit and make yourself at home,
Howdy and I'll go, catch that horse,
load him in your truck and bring him home to your family. Mm?
I ain't gonna forget this, Ben.
You figure Bull can handle that old roan?
If he can't ride him, with as many kids as he's got,
he'll kill him and eat him.
Howdy, Ben.
Howdy, Howdy.
Dad-burnit, that's the second time I missed today.
What the hell do you think you're doin'?
You remember me? I'm Harley Williams.
I push cows for old man Simpson.
Ben asked you what the hell you think you're doing!
Well, uh, uh, just gatherin' strays.
Same as you!
With a gun?
Oh, well, I-I just crease 'em, knock 'em down.
Gives me chance to get a rope on 'em.
Sure beats wearing out good horses, don't it?
You saw us comin' at that steer with a rope, right?
Well, as a matter of truth, I did, Ben. Uh...
And you let go anyway.
Well, I figured I'd beat you to him.
Well, I would've if I hadn't have missed.
Guess I'm shootin' low again.
That's a mighty good-lookin' gun you got there.
Mind if I take a look at it? No.
How about that, now.
You say you just crease 'em, huh?
Across the back of the neck. Stuns 'em. They snap out of it.
Like huntin' wild horses.
Well, same thing.
You good at huntin' horses, Harley?
Well, I-- I'd say there's none better.
Well, I'm glad about that.
All right, now go hunt your horses.
Hey! Uh--
Y-You ain't gonna go off
and leave us out here afoot now, are you?
Uh, i-it's 10 miles back--
Hey, hey, it's 10 miles back to camp!
Turn 'em loose.
If we had a good horse we could get this brandin' done sooner.
Like that old roan, for instance? Hm.
Kind of quiet since he been gone, ain't it?
Yeah. I can stand it.
Will you look at that? That iron's cold already.
This is the worst winter I ever saw.
And the longest.
All them other hands stop the south roundup
for Jim Ed Love.
Riding easy, gentle-workin' horses.
Pushin' dry cows and fat bulls.
I bet those boys been down to Sedona
three or four times since we been up here.
Yeah.
If I get back to civilization I'm gonna quit this outfit,
take a job in a fillin' station.
I thought you said you couldn't stand workin' inside?
Oh, I can't.
It's that damn Apache in me.
Apache?
I ever tell you I was part Indian?
Oh, everybody I talk to tells me they're part Indian.
Them redskins get around.
It's my grandpappy is full-blood.
How much does that make you?
Enough to see a horse coming from a mile away.
Like that one right over there.
What do you suppose happened?
I don't know.
But I know what's gonna happen.
Come spring I am gonna buy this no-good animal from Jim Ed Love.
Buy 'em?
Yeah. And I'm gonna load 'em in that truck
I'm gonna take 'em to town,
and I'm gonna sell 'em to a soap factory.
And then I'm gonna buy the first cake of soap made out of 'em,
and I'm gonna find myself one great big manure pile
and I'm gonna wallow in it for about a week.
And then I'm gonna take a bath with 'em.
And from then on every time I wash my hands,
I'm gonna laugh like hell.
That's what I'm gonna do.
I'll open the corral gate.
We go down there shootin', those strays will never stop running.
The hell you say. Ha-ha.
Ah!
Hyah!
How many head did they run off?
Thirty head, maybe more.
Ask me I say string him up.
No, I have a better idea.
Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Merry Christmas.
Same here.
I'll bet all the other fellas are down in Sedona
havin' a big turkey dinner,
passin' out presents, havin' a fine time.
Most likely.
Howdy, Ben. Howdy, Howdy.
Merry Christmas.
Who says there ain't no Santa Claus.
Stay with it, Ben.
Come here.
Merry Christmas.
Haven't changed a bit, have you, Ben Jones.
Think you can just up and dance a girl right off her feet.
Kiss her whenever you like.
Are you mad?
I didn't say that.
How long you and Howdy stayin' up here?
Till spring.
Catching any strays?
Yeah. We got a few.
Ben, how come you two work for Jim Ed Love?
Oh, you could be top hand on any outfit in this territory.
Be anything you wanted to be for that matter.
I know you claim dumb but you're not. You're smart.
Smartest fella I know.
You don't have to live out of a pickup truck with nothin'
but a catch rope and a high-shoulder saddle.
That isn't such a bad way to live.
If you expect to have anything of your own it is.
Anything to belong to, or be proud of.
Wait a minute, now. Here's the way I figure it.
A man has to get rid of all that--
All that free and easy out of his system,
when it comes time to settle down,
he can lead a-- Well, you know, settle down.
If he don't do that he keeps lookin' back, figuring
he rode around something better on the other side of the fence.
Meaning someday you'll take yourself a wife?
Yeah. Figure to do that someday.
Tsk, it might even be you, Meg.
A man could do a lot worse.
Oh, he could, could he? Yeah.
You're a pretty good man with a horse,
but you got a lot to learn about women.
Ben. Ben. That old roan,
kicked his way through the side, bit the fiddle player,
and keeled over in the middle of the dance floor.
Vince? Yeah.
Where'd you park your truck?
Out by the corral.
Any whiskey mash in it?
Four bags.
Is he dead, Ben?
He's drunk.
Hey, Ben. Look.
I see 'em.
Rafe, you boys cut out what horses you're gonna use.
Morning, boys. Did you have a good winter?
Why, it's a good thing you come along, Mr. Love.
We had one catch-rope left, we were to have a fight
to see who is gonna hang.
You wouldn't wanna do that.
Not with all the back wages you've got coming.
How many strays did you find?
Hundred and eight.
Good. That's 108 times six.
Seven.
You're right. Times seven. And that comes to--
Seven hundred and 56 dollars.
I'm gonna take your word for that.
Four, five, seven, and 56.
And 140 for topping out that rough string.
Well, I forgot all about that.
I suppose you boys will be in a hurry to get to Sedona,
so I brought my boys to drive the stock back to the ranch.
Uh, by the way, uh,
what about the calves that was born in the spring
after the gather?
What about 'em?
You don't expect me to pay for animals you didn't bring in
do you?
That wasn't part of the deal, Mr. Love.
We gathered their mamas.
Well, that ain't quite the same thing.
But, uh, how many?
Ten.
In all? In all.
Uh-huh. Mm-hm.
That's 60. That's, uh--
No, that's 70 even. Mm-hm.
Yes, sir.
There you go.
That does it.
Yup, that does it.
Jim Ed Love, you are the cheapest man I have ever met.
And if I never work your sorry outfit again, it'll be too soon.
Same here.
Now wait a minute, boys.
You know I'm always a reasonable man.
What do you say you get your trading pants on
and let's make a trade?
What kind of a trade?
Well, say I keep this $70 for the calves
and you keep that old roan horse out there.
Huh? What do you say?
Howdy?
Whatever suits you just tickles me plum to death.
You got yourself a deal.
What's wrong, Ben?
See that sign? Yeah.
Do you know how many times we've been to this crossroad?
Every year for the last five years I can remember.
Yeah. Work all winter, turn right at that sign,
go into town, spend all our money in one night,
and end right back where we started.
Going to work for Jim Ed Love. Yeah.
Well, it ain't gonna happen this time.
It ain't? Nope.
I've been thinking and I got a plan.
Now, what do suppose would happen
if we were to go into the Wildcat Bar,
just before rodeo, and say that we had an old roping horse
that could throw any bronc rider in town?
Start a fist fight?
Right. But before we're finished
we'll have more bets than we could cover.
We could probably double our money on that ole roan.
And then do you know what I'm gonna do?
Yeah, sell him to a soap factory.
No. No, I've changed my mind about that.
I am gonna sell him to a dog food company.
And I'll buy the first can of food
made out of him, and get myself
the mangiest old hound dog I can find.
And I'm gonna feed it to him.
That's what I'm gonna do.
Having trouble?
Yeah.
I think it's the carburetor. The brakes or something.
Mind if we take a look?
- Oh, would you? - Uh, we can't be out of gas.
We just had the tank filled back 10 miles.
Huh. Howdy, suppose you get in and fire up, huh?
Right.
Gee, it's awful nice of you fellas to stop.
Oh, no trouble at all.
Hold it! Hold it, Howdy.
All right, try it again.
Nope! Nope, nope, nope. No, afraid it is the carburetor.
Oh, is that bad?
Well, yes, I'm afraid it is. That's too bad.
I tell you, there is a garage about four miles down the road.
We're headed in that direction. We'd be delighted to give you,
uh, ladies a lift.
Oh!
Well, we wouldn't want to put you fellas to any trouble.
Oh, no trouble. No trouble at all. Howdy?
No, it'd be just fine. Fine.
So I says to this big ape,
"If you think my sister and I came to Las Vegas
"clear from New York City to be a couple of B girls
"in your crummy joint, ha, you got another think coming."
Being exotic dancers is one thing,
but drinking with the customers is altogether different.
We get along on talent.
We do not have to depend upon
pushing thin whiskey or rolling drunks for a living.
- Not anymore - No, sir.
We got ourselves a regular act.
Got music written up for it.
Lights, props, everything.
Ah, the days of the plain old bumps and grinds are gone.
You gotta have a gimmick
if you wanna get bookings nowadays.
You gotta be exotic.
- It's all the rage. - A stripper brought it back
from India or one of them Far East places.
We call our act the Snakes of Love.
We get into two baskets.
When the curtain goes up, the clarinet player
starts blowing this real weird music.
And then we kinda uncoil.
Instead of bumps and grinds
we hiss and strike at each other.
And when we shed our skin it brings the house down.
I'll bet it does.
Afraid I got bad news, ladies. I towed your car in,
but in order to fix it I gotta drive into Sedona for parts.
How long will that take?
Oh, better part of the day, maybe longer.
Oh, that means we won't get out of here till morning.
I'm sorry. Best I can do.
Well, I guess you're just stuck with us, fellas.
What say we get a bottle or two and go for a moonlight swim?
In the middle of the day?
Time flies.
What do you think, honey?
Whatever suits you just tickles me plum to death.
- The game warden. - Let's get out of here.
Well, that was a close one. You can come out, girls.
They can't. Why not?
Look.
And me without my clarinet.
Don't worry. We'll have you out of there in a minute.
Just wait here.
Ben. Hey, when did you get back in town?
Arlee, how are you? Listen, do me a favor, will you?
Sure, right. See that booth in the corner?
Give me four orders of ham and eggs
and four coffees. And you see the waitress there?
Well, I'd like two aprons just like she's wearing.
What do you want the aprons for? Don't ask questions.
Just do me a favor this time, will you? Come on.
These are the last two I got. Thanks a lot, Arlee.
How do you want the eggs?
Uh, cooked.
Aprons?
Here, put these on.
Well, how do we look?
I feel a draft.
Come on.
All right, now when I say "now" jump in the booth, quick.
Now.
We done her. Yeah.
Oh, Arlee.
Yeah?
Listen, Arlee, will you do me another favor, please?
Will you run over to the store and get these ladies dresses?
What color do you want? Uh, pink.
Uh, any color. Just so's it's pink.
- Purple'd be just fine for me. - Okay.
This booth's got splinters.
Will you keep our coffee warm? We'll be right back.
Well, where you going?
We're going over to the Wildcat Saloon.
Gotta see a couple of men about a horse.
Hold it. Hold it, will you?
Look, I said it once. I'm gonna say it again.
I'm willing to bet that we have a broken down old roping horse
there ain't a cowboy in this town
who's cowboy enough to ride him.
Fight!
Nineteen, 20.
Coming out of Chute Number 1,
Grady Decker on Upperhand.
Give him a big hand, folks.
That's all the pay he's gonna get.
Here's one for you. The S. S. Santa Rio
sails from San Francisco every two weeks.
It's got a swimming pool, shuffleboard,
and promenade deck.
Drops anchor at Hawaii and Tahiti.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, a special event.
It seems we've got an old roan roping horse
that's been added to the string of bucking stock.
An ole roan roping horse that'll buck off any cowboy in Sedona.
At least, that's what it says here.
Coming out of Chute Number 2, on Old Fooler.
Howdy? Yeah.
What if he don't buck? What?
Suppose when they open that chute gate
that damn roan walks out like a milk-pen calf?
He wouldn't do that.
Oh, he wouldn't? Just look.
Look at that buck!
He's hurt, Howdy.
What do you think, doc?
Got it in his head that he's down for good.
Doesn't think he can stand on his feet. Won't even try.
Look, Ben,
I'd have soon throw in what money we won
if it'd help get the roan on his feet again.
Well, we're just right back where we started.
Always next year.
If it's a question of money, doc,
we got a little over 400 bucks.
Well, this ole roan ain't worth that much.
He is to us.
I'm sorry, boys.
Nothing more can be done for him.
He'll have to be destroyed.
I, uh--
I'll see to it for you, if you like.
No, I got him into this. I'll get him out.
Is there anything we can do, Ben?
No.
You still got that .44 pistol in the truck?
Get it.
Maybe we ought to wait, Ben. At least till tomorrow?
Animals are like people.
Feel the morning sun on 'em, makes 'em forget the hurt.
Makes 'em wanna start over.
Get it.
Gonna be all right. The son buck's gonna be all right!
I'll kill that knot-head. So help me I'll kill him.
Four-hundred and 35, 455, uh, 60,
465,
470.
There's 475. That's it.
You expect me to rebuild my stable on this amount of money?
Well, that's all we got.
That ain't enough.
The vet bill ran out over a hundred.
I gotta have at least 200 more.
But we don't have it.
I do.
Ha-ha. Howdy, boys. Now, how much was that again?
Uh, 200, Mr. Love.
Mm-hm. Say, one,
say 200.
Oh, thank you, Mr. Love.
Don't mention it. Phew.
That Tanner's a hard man to do business with.
Well, you boys ready to go?
Go where? Back to the ranch.
Got a new string of broncs I want you to top out for me.
Just a minute-- It's gonna give you a chance
to work off that $200. And who knows,
you might even decide to stay out the winter with me.
Well, see you boys later.
You know, that Jim Ed ain't such a bad fella.
Feed's good.
Never tells a man how to top out a rough string.
Stayed out the winter it'd give us a chance
to go against a few jugs of Vince Moore's wonderful stuff.
Not to mention his daughters,
That Aggie ain't half bad-lookin'
when cold weather sets in.
Howdy. Huh?
Do you know what a bronc rider is?
What?
He's a cowboy with his brains kicked out.
Takes a hard man to eat boiled owl.
Tsk.
Well, let's go, huh?
Whatever suits you just tickles me plum to death.