1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,485 Ladies and gentlemen... 4 00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:46,655 ...you are about to witness the most spectacular feat... 5 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:51,410 ...ever attempted by the greatest daredevil in the world. 6 00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:53,913 The Great Leslie. 7 00:07:05,509 --> 00:07:09,887 He will be strapped in a straitjacket before your very eyes... 8 00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:12,139 ...and lifted up into the clouds... 9 00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:17,603 ...where eagles soar and no sparrow dares to venture. 10 00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:26,714 Ha, ha. To work. To work, Max. 11 00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:53,574 - Hey, bull's-eye, ha, ha. - Heh, terrific! 12 00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:01,040 There's a hole in the balloon. 13 00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:09,757 Terrific! 14 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,023 - He'll never make it. - He'll never make it. 15 00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:57,304 - A parachute. - A parachute. 16 00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:02,893 A parachute! 17 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,812 A parachute! 18 00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,605 - What? - Professor. 19 00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:21,120 Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to witness a feat... 20 00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:25,791 ...so dangerous that only one man would dare attempt it. 21 00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:29,420 The magnificent Professor Fate. 22 00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:40,764 Attach the hooks. 23 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:45,227 The professor will defy death, as his assistant... 24 00:10:45,437 --> 00:10:49,565 ...swoops down from the sky, snares the professor... 25 00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:54,111 ...on the ground and lifts him into the air. 26 00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:58,616 Contact. 27 00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:01,160 Switch on. 28 00:12:13,108 --> 00:12:15,442 Up, Max! Bring it up! 29 00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,820 Coming up. 30 00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:23,575 Max, up, you idiot! Up! 31 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,244 She's up! 32 00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:27,121 Max! 33 00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:32,376 Up, you idiot, up! 34 00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,086 Too much weight. 35 00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:40,509 Max! 36 00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:02,364 Ha, ha. Pfft. 37 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:07,536 I'd like to see the Great Leslie try that one. Ha! 38 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:24,344 After today you will have broken every existing speed record. 39 00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:26,180 What are your plans for the future? 40 00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:31,226 That depends on how successful I am today. Gentlemen, will you excuse me please? 41 00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:44,323 Be careful, you idiot, you'll blow us both to kingdom come. 42 00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:59,338 Ah, he's getting in the boat. 43 00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:31,036 - You sure you tested the mechanism? - It can't miss. 44 00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:34,957 All you have to do is throw this switch, it homes in on the loudest engine noise. 45 00:14:35,166 --> 00:14:38,210 It's terrific. You see, it's picked up Leslie's boat! 46 00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:45,551 Farewell, Leslie. Ha, ha, away! 47 00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:56,455 - Look at that! - Golly! 48 00:15:56,664 --> 00:15:58,332 Look at the pretty face on that... 49 00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:00,792 Get away from the rocket. 50 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:18,393 Gentlemen, I intend to cover the measured mile in approximately 12 seconds. 51 00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:34,952 Activate the rockets. 52 00:16:59,102 --> 00:17:01,937 Professor! One hundred and fifty! 53 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:06,858 - Two hundred and fifty! - Ha, ha. 54 00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:09,444 - I'll go down in history! - Three hundred. 55 00:17:09,654 --> 00:17:11,989 They'll erect a monument to me! 56 00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:18,120 Ha-ha-ha! I've done it! 57 00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:23,709 - Professor? Professor? - What? 58 00:18:15,053 --> 00:18:19,014 Well, there's another one Leslie can try on for size. 59 00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:23,226 Gentlemen. 60 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:27,939 I've requested this meeting in order to make you a proposition. 61 00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:34,279 In my opinion, your company manufactures the finest automobile in the world. 62 00:18:34,489 --> 00:18:39,826 The automobile represents progress, in the most profound sense of the word. 63 00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:44,664 The ultimate example of American ingenuity and enterprise. 64 00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:50,003 This great nation cannot take a back seat to competitors like Daimler... 65 00:18:50,213 --> 00:18:54,758 ...Mercedes, uh, Napier, Rolls-Royce, Dietrich or Panhard. 66 00:18:54,967 --> 00:19:00,472 Gentlemen, I propose to prove that the American automobile... 67 00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:04,226 ...your automobile, is without peers. 68 00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:10,148 And, uh, just how do you propose to prove that, sir? 69 00:19:10,358 --> 00:19:11,399 A race. 70 00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:15,320 Really, sir, you, uh, surprise me. 71 00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:19,491 Automobile races are becoming most commonplace. 72 00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:23,495 I mean, a long race. A very long race. 73 00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:26,164 Buffalo to Albany? It's been done. 74 00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:28,458 Chicago to Cleveland? That's been done. 75 00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:33,171 New York... 76 00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:40,804 ...to Paris. 77 00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:43,098 - New York to...? - Paris? 78 00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:47,477 You must build an automobile to the most precise specifications. 79 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:51,148 No, no. 80 00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:53,275 Absolutely no. 81 00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:57,320 For a company of this repute, a great company the likes of this... 82 00:19:57,530 --> 00:20:02,576 ...entrusting its entire automobile future to a man the likes of Leslie, heh, it's disreputable. 83 00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:07,664 A cheap carnival performer, a fraud, a trickster. 84 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:12,836 Aah! Help! Don't! A madman! 85 00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:15,046 I apologize. I thought you were someone else. 86 00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:17,215 Pulling it out by the roots. I warned you. 87 00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:22,179 The madman. Did you see him trying to pull my beard out right by the roots? 88 00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:33,773 Leslie will lose! Your automobile will lose! I will win! 89 00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:35,233 Yee-haw! 90 00:20:35,443 --> 00:20:37,194 He jumped! 91 00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:42,490 I shall build the greatest automobile in the world and I shall win! 92 00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:46,453 Okay, professor. 93 00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:51,041 This time it will not be Leslie. It will be I, Professor Fate! 94 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,210 Fate the Magnificent! 95 00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:55,170 Ha, ha! Ha-ha-ha! 96 00:22:06,367 --> 00:22:10,745 And it is with no little pride that the Webber Motor Car Company... 97 00:22:10,955 --> 00:22:14,874 ...unveils its latest and greatest achievement. 98 00:22:15,084 --> 00:22:18,670 Gentlemen, behold the motor car of the future. 99 00:22:22,091 --> 00:22:24,009 Holy cow! 100 00:22:33,394 --> 00:22:35,603 Holy Toledo, look at that car! 101 00:22:35,813 --> 00:22:38,315 Yes, it's quite a car. 102 00:22:50,786 --> 00:22:53,371 - Ha-ha-ha. - I never saw a car like that in my life. 103 00:22:53,581 --> 00:22:55,415 You never will again either. 104 00:22:55,624 --> 00:22:57,959 Give me the bomb. Ha-ha-ha. 105 00:22:58,169 --> 00:22:59,878 The bomb, the bomb. 106 00:23:01,714 --> 00:23:03,048 Professor, be careful. 107 00:23:03,257 --> 00:23:06,217 After you activate the mechanism, you only got 10 seconds. 108 00:23:06,427 --> 00:23:09,095 I know that. I know that. Give me the cord. 109 00:23:22,026 --> 00:23:27,197 We, uh, have taken the liberty of naming it after the man who inspired its creation. 110 00:23:27,406 --> 00:23:30,033 - The Leslie Special. - I'm deeply honored. 111 00:24:28,008 --> 00:24:29,467 What took you so long? 112 00:24:29,677 --> 00:24:31,678 I had to go to the Rolls-Royce agency. 113 00:24:31,929 --> 00:24:34,931 - I had to steal a spare magneto. - Oh, good. 114 00:24:37,101 --> 00:24:39,185 - It's ready. - Yes. 115 00:24:39,603 --> 00:24:41,729 Yes, it's ready. 116 00:24:44,984 --> 00:24:47,360 There has never been anything like this. 117 00:24:47,611 --> 00:24:50,488 - Professor, your greatest creation. - Genius! Work of genius. 118 00:24:50,698 --> 00:24:53,658 The finest parts from the greatest automobiles in the world. 119 00:24:53,868 --> 00:24:55,952 The Hannibal Twin 8. Ha, ha. 120 00:24:56,162 --> 00:24:58,371 When it comes to the blizzards and snow storms... 121 00:24:58,581 --> 00:25:02,834 ...we will continue on just as planned. Push the button, Max. 122 00:25:08,257 --> 00:25:11,050 When the rains come, and when the snow melts... 123 00:25:11,260 --> 00:25:14,387 ...we shall continue to rise above it. 124 00:25:14,597 --> 00:25:16,431 Push the button, Max. 125 00:25:27,193 --> 00:25:29,402 Nature will chase us, we will beat her. 126 00:25:29,612 --> 00:25:32,489 And brigands, thieves, cutthroats of all nations may hound us... 127 00:25:32,698 --> 00:25:37,160 ...but we are ready for them. We will blast them to kingdom come! 128 00:25:37,369 --> 00:25:42,749 Ha, ha! We can melt, we can blast. We can rise above. We are invincible. 129 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,210 Take us down. Ha-ha-ha. 130 00:25:45,419 --> 00:25:47,504 Push the button, Max. 131 00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:53,009 Max! 132 00:26:00,017 --> 00:26:01,559 Yes. 133 00:26:06,857 --> 00:26:08,775 - Mr. Goodbody. - What is it, Frisbee? 134 00:26:08,984 --> 00:26:11,277 - You've got to come right away. - What's the matter? 135 00:26:11,487 --> 00:26:13,321 Well, it's a young lady, sir. 136 00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:17,742 - What about the young lady? - She's handcuffed herself to the door. 137 00:26:17,952 --> 00:26:21,287 - Handcuffed herself to the door? - Of the men's room. 138 00:26:21,497 --> 00:26:23,081 What? 139 00:26:30,631 --> 00:26:33,800 Gentlemen. Gentlemen. Gentleman! 140 00:26:34,009 --> 00:26:36,761 Return to your assignments. This is a newspaper office. 141 00:26:36,971 --> 00:26:39,514 There will be no lollygagging in this hallway. 142 00:26:39,723 --> 00:26:41,808 There will be no lollygagging in this hallway. 143 00:26:42,017 --> 00:26:43,518 - Frisbee! - Yes, sir. 144 00:26:43,727 --> 00:26:45,562 Now, young lady, who are you? 145 00:26:45,771 --> 00:26:47,605 I am a female past the age of consent. 146 00:26:47,815 --> 00:26:50,316 The first woman to edit the newspaper at my college. 147 00:26:50,526 --> 00:26:55,613 I'll remain handcuffed until I become the first female reporter of the New York Sentinel. 148 00:26:55,823 --> 00:26:58,741 Over my dead body. Unlock those handcuffs and get out. 149 00:26:58,951 --> 00:27:01,327 I will unlock the handcuffs when you give me the job. 150 00:27:01,537 --> 00:27:03,121 - Never! - Never? 151 00:27:03,330 --> 00:27:05,456 - Never. - But, sir. 152 00:27:05,666 --> 00:27:09,627 If she remains here, handcuffed to the men's room... 153 00:27:09,837 --> 00:27:11,337 ...the men... The men... 154 00:27:11,589 --> 00:27:13,756 You men may use the washroom on the next floor. 155 00:27:13,966 --> 00:27:15,008 Oh, sir. 156 00:27:15,217 --> 00:27:18,678 - They can't keep running upstairs forever. - They can until you get hungry. 157 00:27:19,263 --> 00:27:21,514 Oh, that would make a story for your competition. 158 00:27:21,724 --> 00:27:24,726 Woman starves to death in the men's room of the New York Sentinel. 159 00:27:26,186 --> 00:27:29,397 - You wouldn't dare. - I would dare anything for women's rights. 160 00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:31,733 - Ha! - Huh! 161 00:27:35,279 --> 00:27:39,741 - Give me an assignment. If I fail, fire me. - You're fired. 162 00:27:39,950 --> 00:27:43,244 Frisbee, post a bulletin. Suffragettes are not permitted. 163 00:27:43,454 --> 00:27:46,831 - Let me cover the great race. - It's covered by experienced reporters. 164 00:27:46,999 --> 00:27:49,876 No, I mean really cover it. From start to finish, mile by mile. 165 00:27:50,085 --> 00:27:52,712 Reporters are not permitted on the trip, only contestants. 166 00:27:52,921 --> 00:27:54,464 - Those are the rules. - Break them. 167 00:27:54,673 --> 00:27:57,383 We run a newspaper, not a school for revolutionaries! 168 00:27:57,593 --> 00:27:59,886 Enter the race. Enter your own car. 169 00:28:00,095 --> 00:28:03,556 We are running a newspaper, a newspaper, not an automotive agency! 170 00:28:03,766 --> 00:28:07,060 Are you afraid of losing? Give me the money and I'll enter the race. 171 00:28:07,269 --> 00:28:09,812 I despise suffragettes. 172 00:28:10,022 --> 00:28:12,649 I am not just trying to get the vote for women. 173 00:28:12,858 --> 00:28:17,695 I'm out to emancipate them from the drudgery of being either servants or saints. 174 00:28:19,031 --> 00:28:21,908 Out of the laundry rooms and off the pedestals! 175 00:28:23,744 --> 00:28:25,536 You're mad, young woman, you're mad. 176 00:28:25,746 --> 00:28:29,207 And you, sir, are a slave to your puritanism. 177 00:28:29,708 --> 00:28:31,292 Does your wife wear silk stockings? 178 00:28:31,502 --> 00:28:35,838 - Ah, I won't discuss such an intimate subject. - She does, and they're very expensive. 179 00:28:36,048 --> 00:28:38,758 But has she raised her skirts for you and shown her calf? 180 00:28:38,967 --> 00:28:41,928 A woman's leg in a silk stocking can be quite alluring. 181 00:28:42,137 --> 00:28:44,514 - Shh, miss... - Dubois. Maggie Dubois. 182 00:28:44,723 --> 00:28:47,350 I see you've never seen a woman's leg in a silk stocking. 183 00:28:47,559 --> 00:28:50,353 Never, never in your whole life. 184 00:28:51,563 --> 00:28:55,441 - Frisbee, leave the room! - Yes, sir. 185 00:28:56,443 --> 00:28:58,903 Well, what are you thinking? 186 00:29:00,614 --> 00:29:04,951 There isn't anything men and women can't discuss if they are civilized and mature. 187 00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:06,744 And emancipated. 188 00:29:07,454 --> 00:29:10,665 - Anything? - See, you can't discuss it. That's the problem. 189 00:29:10,874 --> 00:29:14,085 Women have to emancipate themselves in order to emancipate men. 190 00:29:14,294 --> 00:29:16,921 So they can emancipate each other where it counts the most. 191 00:29:17,131 --> 00:29:19,632 Fifty dollars for every exclusive story I send back... 192 00:29:19,842 --> 00:29:22,385 ...and 100 dollars for every photograph. 193 00:29:25,264 --> 00:29:29,934 You're a fine man. A timid man, but a worthwhile one. 194 00:29:30,310 --> 00:29:33,020 - Have a cigar. - Huh? 195 00:29:33,230 --> 00:29:34,647 Don't smoke? 196 00:29:50,998 --> 00:29:53,458 The Sentinel will scoop the world. 197 00:30:33,207 --> 00:30:35,291 Man the helm. 198 00:30:35,501 --> 00:30:37,335 Aye, aye, sir. 199 00:30:40,881 --> 00:30:43,883 - Up periscope! - Up periscope! 200 00:31:00,192 --> 00:31:01,776 Ah. 201 00:31:22,756 --> 00:31:24,882 - Good afternoon. - Good afternoon. 202 00:31:25,092 --> 00:31:29,095 I don't know what she's doing here, boss. She says she's a woman with a mission. 203 00:31:29,346 --> 00:31:32,557 But I think she's a spy for Professor Fate. 204 00:31:32,766 --> 00:31:38,729 You're not suggesting I'm the first woman ever to seek an audience with the Great Leslie. 205 00:31:38,939 --> 00:31:42,233 I'm simply Leslie and I'm at your service. 206 00:31:42,609 --> 00:31:46,445 I'm rather thirsty. Do you have something cold? 207 00:31:47,906 --> 00:31:50,074 I have champagne. 208 00:31:57,249 --> 00:32:00,418 - Down periscope. Ha, ha. - Aye, aye, sir. 209 00:32:00,627 --> 00:32:03,588 Aah! Agh! Ow, ah! 210 00:32:03,797 --> 00:32:07,133 - Up! Up, idiot! Up, up! - Up! 211 00:32:07,342 --> 00:32:08,885 Agh! Ah. 212 00:32:12,514 --> 00:32:14,223 Down! Down! 213 00:32:17,853 --> 00:32:20,479 I got you. I got you. I got you. 214 00:32:20,689 --> 00:32:23,691 You're right! There's something wrong with the mechanism. 215 00:32:24,443 --> 00:32:25,735 Aah! 216 00:32:25,986 --> 00:32:27,194 Down, you idiot! 217 00:32:27,446 --> 00:32:30,323 Release your feet. Release your feet! 218 00:32:30,866 --> 00:32:34,994 - You have to be careful... - You've got a brain the size of a carbuncle. 219 00:32:35,203 --> 00:32:38,372 - Get out of here before Leslie spots us. - Getting out. 220 00:32:38,582 --> 00:32:41,626 - Dive, crash dive! - Crash dive! 221 00:32:42,669 --> 00:32:43,961 Help! 222 00:32:46,715 --> 00:32:50,384 Wait. Professor! Professor! 223 00:32:50,719 --> 00:32:57,600 My desert is waiting 224 00:32:57,809 --> 00:33:03,064 Dear, come there with me 225 00:33:05,233 --> 00:33:11,447 I'm longing to teach you 226 00:33:12,491 --> 00:33:19,413 Love's sweet melody 227 00:33:21,541 --> 00:33:25,419 I'll sing a dream-song to you 228 00:33:30,384 --> 00:33:36,055 Painting a picture for two 229 00:33:40,644 --> 00:33:44,397 Blue heaven 230 00:33:44,606 --> 00:33:48,067 And you and I 231 00:33:48,276 --> 00:33:52,947 And sand kissing 232 00:33:53,156 --> 00:33:56,742 A moonlit sky 233 00:33:56,952 --> 00:34:02,248 A desert breeze whisp'ring 234 00:34:02,457 --> 00:34:05,793 A lullaby 235 00:34:06,003 --> 00:34:11,382 Only stars above you 236 00:34:11,591 --> 00:34:18,097 To see I love you 237 00:34:18,932 --> 00:34:25,646 Oh, give me that night divine 238 00:34:25,897 --> 00:34:27,273 I'm a reporter. 239 00:34:29,568 --> 00:34:30,943 A reporter? 240 00:34:32,612 --> 00:34:34,238 You disapprove? 241 00:34:34,448 --> 00:34:38,659 Ahem, no. Let's say I'm a bit surprised. 242 00:34:39,077 --> 00:34:41,120 Let's be honest and say you disapprove. 243 00:34:41,329 --> 00:34:45,124 A woman doing a man's job is competitive, both sexually and economically. 244 00:34:46,293 --> 00:34:49,462 You want to know why I'm here. I want to report the race. 245 00:34:49,671 --> 00:34:51,589 And I want to be in it. 246 00:34:52,340 --> 00:34:54,050 It's as simple as that. 247 00:34:55,969 --> 00:35:00,014 Well, it's hardly, heh, that simple. But, uh... 248 00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:03,809 ...let's discuss it, shall we? - All right. 249 00:35:04,019 --> 00:35:07,605 Let's discuss the whole thing completely. Right from the beginning. 250 00:35:07,814 --> 00:35:12,443 Do you want a wife, a companion? Or just a woman? 251 00:35:13,820 --> 00:35:15,946 There are certain things we shouldn't discuss. 252 00:35:16,990 --> 00:35:20,451 Why? Men discuss their relationships with women. 253 00:35:20,660 --> 00:35:21,786 Gentlemen don't. 254 00:35:24,331 --> 00:35:27,917 But I'm not a gentleman. I'm a woman. 255 00:35:29,711 --> 00:35:31,587 Indeed you are. 256 00:35:31,797 --> 00:35:34,256 Then say it. What's expected of me? 257 00:35:34,466 --> 00:35:37,676 I'm an emancipated woman and you're an emancipated man. 258 00:35:38,553 --> 00:35:42,932 There are certain things that should remain implicit between men and women. 259 00:35:43,767 --> 00:35:45,142 Why? 260 00:35:46,103 --> 00:35:49,522 That's the way it's been for thousands of years and I see no reason to change. 261 00:35:49,731 --> 00:35:52,483 - I am a creature of habit. - All the more reason. 262 00:35:54,069 --> 00:35:57,655 Now you're using your female attractiveness as a weapon. 263 00:35:58,281 --> 00:36:03,619 Equality, real equality of the sexes bothers you, doesn't it? 264 00:36:06,248 --> 00:36:08,833 I can speak, read and write Russian, French and Arabic. 265 00:36:09,042 --> 00:36:11,001 Yes, so can I. Plus five other languages. 266 00:36:11,211 --> 00:36:14,672 - I can drive any car there is. - So can Hezekiah. 267 00:36:15,048 --> 00:36:17,800 I won the Woman's International Fencing Competition. 268 00:36:21,596 --> 00:36:23,055 En garde. 269 00:36:25,225 --> 00:36:26,934 Very well. 270 00:36:51,209 --> 00:36:52,376 Aah. 271 00:36:56,882 --> 00:37:00,926 Now if you'd won the Men's International Fencing Competition... 272 00:37:04,222 --> 00:37:05,681 Wait! 273 00:37:07,058 --> 00:37:09,185 Now, we'll talk this out. 274 00:37:22,782 --> 00:37:24,909 Now if you'll excuse me. 275 00:37:26,494 --> 00:37:28,329 Oh, oh! 276 00:37:30,332 --> 00:37:32,791 Hezekiah, will you see Miss Dubois to her horse please. 277 00:37:33,001 --> 00:37:36,545 - You're afraid! You're afraid of a real woman! - All right, lady, let's go. 278 00:37:36,755 --> 00:37:41,217 I'll show you! I'll enter the race myself. I'll enter my own car and I'll beat you! 279 00:37:41,426 --> 00:37:43,469 And another thing... 280 00:38:28,056 --> 00:38:32,017 Professor, dinner is served. 281 00:39:02,257 --> 00:39:03,674 Who is it? 282 00:39:03,883 --> 00:39:08,721 Uh, I wish to see Professor Fate. I'm a reporter. For the Sentinel. 283 00:39:08,930 --> 00:39:12,141 Beat it, little girl, or I'll sic the dogs on you. 284 00:39:23,695 --> 00:39:24,945 Who was that? 285 00:39:25,196 --> 00:39:28,741 - Kids, just kids, more kids. - Stupid kids. 286 00:39:33,371 --> 00:39:35,331 You want me to feed you? 287 00:40:20,627 --> 00:40:22,378 Listen to that. 288 00:40:27,884 --> 00:40:31,303 Out back by the garage. The car! Hurry up! 289 00:40:32,097 --> 00:40:33,680 Car! 290 00:40:46,945 --> 00:40:48,112 Help! 291 00:40:49,531 --> 00:40:50,531 Help! 292 00:40:53,660 --> 00:40:57,538 - You sure you locked the door? - I'm positive. Professor, be careful. 293 00:40:57,747 --> 00:41:00,124 If you open the door one inch, it sets off the alarm. 294 00:41:00,333 --> 00:41:03,752 - I know that. - Help! 295 00:41:29,154 --> 00:41:30,737 Get away! Get away! 296 00:41:34,534 --> 00:41:36,743 Help! Get me down! 297 00:41:37,495 --> 00:41:39,580 - Help! - Go away. 298 00:41:41,207 --> 00:41:42,416 You idiot. 299 00:41:44,836 --> 00:41:46,795 Get me down! Help! 300 00:41:49,382 --> 00:41:51,300 Get me down! Please! 301 00:41:52,260 --> 00:41:56,180 Max! 302 00:41:58,933 --> 00:42:01,059 Out. And stay out. 303 00:42:01,519 --> 00:42:04,062 You can't treat me that way. I'll expose you. 304 00:42:05,648 --> 00:42:09,943 Out. And stay out. A pox on you! 305 00:42:10,153 --> 00:42:12,488 I don't care. You beast of a turncoat. 306 00:42:12,697 --> 00:42:15,324 - What are you kicking the professor for? - Close the door! 307 00:42:15,533 --> 00:42:17,034 - What's the matter? - Did you hear me? 308 00:42:17,410 --> 00:42:20,787 Put up your dukes. Come on. 309 00:42:21,039 --> 00:42:22,539 You're a lunatic. A lunatic. 310 00:42:22,749 --> 00:42:26,502 You can't talk to me that way. I'm a member of the press! 311 00:42:40,266 --> 00:42:44,561 Get off the car, please. Will you just get off the car? 312 00:42:48,066 --> 00:42:52,069 Hands off the car. Get away from there. 313 00:42:52,612 --> 00:42:55,113 Keep your hands away from there. Get off of the car. 314 00:42:55,323 --> 00:42:57,783 Get away from the car. Get away from there. 315 00:42:57,992 --> 00:43:00,577 - Get away from there. - Hold it. 316 00:43:01,913 --> 00:43:03,247 That's it. 317 00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:20,264 Away from the car. 318 00:43:38,241 --> 00:43:39,866 Hold it. 319 00:43:41,703 --> 00:43:43,453 That's it. 320 00:43:54,340 --> 00:43:57,634 - Everything is ready? - Everything is ready. 321 00:44:07,270 --> 00:44:08,312 Hold it. 322 00:44:09,606 --> 00:44:12,983 Just stay away from the automobile. I'll sign it for you. 323 00:44:13,192 --> 00:44:15,736 I checked everything over twice. We're ready to go. 324 00:44:15,945 --> 00:44:19,323 Look, buddy, will you please step to one side like a good boy? 325 00:44:41,387 --> 00:44:44,222 - What do you think you're doing? - I'm an official entry. 326 00:44:44,432 --> 00:44:46,933 - Official entry? - Representing the Sentinel. 327 00:44:47,143 --> 00:44:49,102 - What? - And since it is my job... 328 00:44:49,312 --> 00:44:52,689 ...as a reporter to be there when the first car crosses the finish line... 329 00:44:52,899 --> 00:44:56,193 ...it will be necessary for me to win. 330 00:45:01,616 --> 00:45:03,909 Imagine that crazy female. 331 00:45:04,243 --> 00:45:07,079 She won't even get as far as Albany in that Steamer. 332 00:45:07,330 --> 00:45:11,375 Don't bet on it. That's a very determined young lady. 333 00:45:11,584 --> 00:45:13,377 - Good morning, Hester. - Morning, Maggie. 334 00:45:13,586 --> 00:45:14,711 - Have a cigar? - Thank you. 335 00:45:14,921 --> 00:45:15,921 Hester. 336 00:45:16,172 --> 00:45:19,174 I want to thank you again for this opportunity, Mr. Goodbody. 337 00:45:19,384 --> 00:45:22,177 I had little choice after your conversation with my wife. 338 00:45:22,387 --> 00:45:24,930 Henry, if you can't be more gracious, shut up. 339 00:45:25,223 --> 00:45:29,768 - It's a great day for the cause, Maggie. - It is indeed, Hester. 340 00:45:34,107 --> 00:45:36,233 Drivers, to your cars. 341 00:45:45,952 --> 00:45:47,744 - Hezekiah. - Boss. 342 00:45:49,539 --> 00:45:50,956 All right, Max. 343 00:45:51,207 --> 00:45:54,209 - Good luck, Maggie. - Thank you. 344 00:45:57,630 --> 00:45:59,381 Max! 345 00:46:06,180 --> 00:46:09,558 - Come on, Max. Max. - All checked. 346 00:47:39,941 --> 00:47:42,526 Are you sure you took care of everything? 347 00:47:42,777 --> 00:47:45,445 Just keep your eye on car number 2. 348 00:48:08,803 --> 00:48:14,266 Now, at approximately the 50 mile mark, car number 3, it loses its transmission. 349 00:48:14,475 --> 00:48:16,226 Ha, ha, transmission. 350 00:48:25,611 --> 00:48:28,113 And in about five seconds, car number 4 bites the dust. 351 00:48:28,322 --> 00:48:29,906 - Perfect. Ha-ha-ha! - Ha-ha-ha! 352 00:48:39,125 --> 00:48:41,960 Genius, Max, positive genius. What's next? 353 00:48:42,169 --> 00:48:47,132 - Car number 5, the engine falls out. - Car number five? Ha-ha-ha! 354 00:48:47,508 --> 00:48:51,469 Max. We're number 5. 355 00:49:12,658 --> 00:49:16,620 That's not supposed to happen to number 6. I fixed it so the wheels would come off. 356 00:49:23,669 --> 00:49:25,629 Smoke. Get the fire extinguisher. 357 00:49:25,838 --> 00:49:29,424 - Ah, fire. I got the extinguisher. - Get the extinguisher. 358 00:49:29,634 --> 00:49:32,886 Coming through. I got it. 359 00:49:33,429 --> 00:49:34,930 I got it. 360 00:49:35,890 --> 00:49:39,976 I think we got it in time. I think we got it. 361 00:49:41,187 --> 00:49:43,647 I think we got it now, professor. 362 00:49:43,856 --> 00:49:45,815 Okay, she's out. 363 00:49:47,693 --> 00:49:50,028 Where are you? 364 00:49:51,739 --> 00:49:54,991 - Where are you? - To your right. 365 00:50:18,057 --> 00:50:19,557 Hold it. 366 00:50:51,882 --> 00:50:53,758 That was a pigeon. 367 00:51:22,955 --> 00:51:24,622 Mine eyes have seen the glory 368 00:51:24,832 --> 00:51:26,750 Of the coming of the Lord 369 00:51:26,959 --> 00:51:29,961 He is trampling out the vintage Where the grapes of wrath are stored 370 00:51:30,171 --> 00:51:32,255 - Get the bird. - Yes, sir. 371 00:51:32,465 --> 00:51:36,426 - Come here, bird, just come here. - All right. Hurry up, will you, Frisbee? 372 00:51:36,761 --> 00:51:39,596 - I'm hurrying. - Frisbee, just get the bird. 373 00:51:39,805 --> 00:51:43,850 Glory, glory, hallelujah! 374 00:51:44,060 --> 00:51:46,519 Don't lollygag out there, just get the bird. 375 00:51:46,729 --> 00:51:49,022 I got him. I got him, sir. 376 00:51:51,817 --> 00:51:53,610 - Frisbee. - Yes, I got the bird. 377 00:51:53,819 --> 00:51:57,155 Just hold it. Frisbee. Just be quiet. 378 00:51:57,364 --> 00:52:00,200 - Oh, please try to save me, sir. - Just be steady, Frisbee. 379 00:52:00,409 --> 00:52:03,995 - Just be steady. Just be steady. - Oh, bless you, sir. 380 00:52:04,205 --> 00:52:07,290 - Oh, bless you. - Be quiet now, Frisbee. 381 00:52:07,500 --> 00:52:11,002 And it's organizations like the Sentinel that we must deal with first. 382 00:52:11,212 --> 00:52:15,173 Why, at this very moment the editor sits behind his desk... 383 00:52:19,386 --> 00:52:25,475 Frisbee, next time be more careful. If you're falling, let go of the bird. 384 00:52:38,697 --> 00:52:43,743 "Sentinel car takes lead approximately 600 miles west of Chicago." 385 00:52:43,953 --> 00:52:45,495 Frisbee. 386 00:52:54,213 --> 00:52:56,381 Well, that should put us about here. 387 00:53:18,696 --> 00:53:20,697 Ha-ha-ha! - Farewell. 388 00:53:48,851 --> 00:53:52,937 - Hezekiah, see what's wrong with her car. - Hm? Oh, yeah. 389 00:54:05,034 --> 00:54:08,620 - I must have fainted. - Perfectly natural in this heat. 390 00:54:08,829 --> 00:54:11,581 - Thank you for stopping. - My pleasure. 391 00:54:11,790 --> 00:54:13,041 May I offer you some water? 392 00:54:13,250 --> 00:54:15,752 No, I'm much better now. Thank you. 393 00:54:15,961 --> 00:54:20,256 - Hezekiah, can she be fixed? - Not a chance, boss. 394 00:54:20,466 --> 00:54:24,719 - Hmm. - Well, I guess that's the end of that. 395 00:54:25,346 --> 00:54:27,680 I know how disappointed you must be. 396 00:54:27,973 --> 00:54:31,351 But it's amazing that you were able to accomplish what you did. 397 00:54:31,560 --> 00:54:33,770 You mean amazing because I'm a woman. 398 00:54:34,104 --> 00:54:36,856 The Steamer is a fast, sporty, attractive automobile... 399 00:54:37,066 --> 00:54:39,359 ...designed for city driving and country picnics. 400 00:54:39,568 --> 00:54:41,444 You're lucky it didn't blow up on you. 401 00:54:41,654 --> 00:54:46,616 You know, it's really amazing that anyone was able to go this far. I congratulate you. 402 00:54:46,825 --> 00:54:49,786 Not as a woman, but an intrepid autoist. 403 00:54:49,995 --> 00:54:52,288 You mean an intrepid woman autoist. 404 00:54:52,498 --> 00:54:56,626 A rather dubious honor when you consider that the accomplishment is predicated... 405 00:54:56,835 --> 00:55:00,088 ...on the fact that you chose the wrong automobile. 406 00:55:00,297 --> 00:55:04,676 Ah, but the choice was not mine. My editor, a man, made the arrangements. 407 00:55:04,885 --> 00:55:07,762 Your editor is something less than an authority on automobiles. 408 00:55:07,972 --> 00:55:13,268 But you, on the other hand, claim full knowledge of the auto and its workings. 409 00:55:13,477 --> 00:55:15,895 - So? - So being a woman... 410 00:55:16,105 --> 00:55:19,524 ...you chose to ignore the practical evidence, acted emotionally... 411 00:55:19,733 --> 00:55:23,027 ...entered the race knowing full well that you couldn't possibly finish. 412 00:55:23,237 --> 00:55:25,530 Oh, I'll finish. 413 00:55:25,739 --> 00:55:27,031 May I ask how? 414 00:55:27,241 --> 00:55:31,577 No, you may not ask how, but I'll finish. I may not still be an official entry... 415 00:55:31,829 --> 00:55:34,038 ...but I will report every foot of this race. 416 00:55:34,290 --> 00:55:36,332 - I'll get another car. - From where? 417 00:55:36,542 --> 00:55:42,964 I don't know. If I don't, I'll get something else. I'll find a way, even if I have to walk. 418 00:55:43,924 --> 00:55:45,049 What are you waiting for? 419 00:55:45,301 --> 00:55:48,761 Every minute wasted is another mile for Professor Fate. 420 00:55:50,097 --> 00:55:55,059 All right. We'll take you as far as Boracho, where I pick up some gasoline. 421 00:55:55,269 --> 00:55:58,229 - Perfect. - From there, you're on your own. 422 00:55:58,439 --> 00:56:00,064 Thank you. My luggage, please. 423 00:56:00,274 --> 00:56:02,608 - Oh, now, wait... - Hezekiah, the young lady's luggage please. 424 00:56:02,818 --> 00:56:04,068 Huh? 425 00:56:53,786 --> 00:56:55,661 Indian attack. We're being attacked. 426 00:56:55,913 --> 00:56:58,373 Smoke screen, Max. Give them the smoke screen. 427 00:56:58,582 --> 00:56:59,707 Smoke screen. 428 00:57:03,587 --> 00:57:07,256 No, you idiot. The smoke screen. Push the button, Max. 429 00:57:07,466 --> 00:57:09,092 Smoke screen. 430 00:57:27,277 --> 00:57:28,945 Here they come. 431 00:57:30,739 --> 00:57:32,615 Hyah! Ho! 432 00:57:46,171 --> 00:57:49,048 Get it down. Get it down. 433 00:57:50,467 --> 00:57:53,511 Take cover, you fools, take cover! 434 00:57:53,720 --> 00:57:56,180 Indians! Savages! 435 00:57:56,432 --> 00:58:01,185 Get a posse! Savages behind us! 436 00:58:01,395 --> 00:58:04,730 - Help! - Savages attacking us. Indians. 437 00:58:04,982 --> 00:58:07,400 - Right now! Take cover. - Indians. 438 00:58:07,609 --> 00:58:08,651 Welcome to Boracho. 439 00:58:08,861 --> 00:58:11,696 Yes, thank you. Indians, savages attacking us. 440 00:58:11,905 --> 00:58:13,990 Right behind us. An attack. 441 00:58:14,199 --> 00:58:15,533 - Ha, ha. - What's funny? 442 00:58:15,742 --> 00:58:19,829 That was just the sheriff and some of the men dressed up like Indians. 443 00:58:20,038 --> 00:58:23,958 - Why, they rode out to welcome you. - Ha, ha. that's very reassuring, Mr. Mayor. 444 00:58:24,168 --> 00:58:27,462 Now if you will just show us where the gasoline is, we'll be on our way, eh? 445 00:58:27,671 --> 00:58:29,881 - On your way? - You understand every second counts. 446 00:58:30,090 --> 00:58:33,634 - You can't go now. - What do you mean we can't go now? 447 00:58:33,844 --> 00:58:36,053 - Gotta have gas, gas. - You're the guest of honor. 448 00:58:36,263 --> 00:58:38,598 Well, I don't want to be a guest of honor. 449 00:58:38,807 --> 00:58:41,225 I gotta present you with this here key to the city. 450 00:58:41,435 --> 00:58:43,102 He doesn't want a key, he wants gas. 451 00:58:43,312 --> 00:58:46,856 - As Mayor of Boracho, I... - I want gas and I want it now! 452 00:58:47,065 --> 00:58:50,151 - You ain't gonna get no gas till tomorrow. - Tomorrow. 453 00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:52,904 You're gonna accept this here key. 454 00:58:53,113 --> 00:58:55,698 You're gonna attend that meeting tonight... 455 00:58:55,908 --> 00:59:00,578 ...or, by jumped-up Harry, you're gonna be guest of honor at a necktie party. 456 00:59:00,787 --> 00:59:03,873 Necktie? Well, what kind of cheap present is that? 457 00:59:04,583 --> 00:59:07,376 Listen to me, you cheap, mealy-mouthed, third-rate healer. 458 00:59:07,586 --> 00:59:10,838 - Somebody get me a rope. - You want a rope? I got a rope in the car. 459 00:59:11,048 --> 00:59:15,301 A rope. Somebody get me a rope. Hurry up, they're leaving. They're leaving. 460 00:59:16,720 --> 00:59:20,014 Get me a rope, somebody. Get me a rope. 461 00:59:31,902 --> 00:59:34,403 - You gonna give us any trouble? - I beg your pardon. 462 00:59:34,613 --> 00:59:37,406 We been planning this here shindig for over a week. 463 00:59:37,616 --> 00:59:41,410 Do we string up the bunch of you or you gonna cooperate and be the guest of honor? 464 00:59:41,620 --> 00:59:47,041 I greet you with cordiality and good cheer. It's a pleasure to be accorded this great honor. 465 00:59:47,251 --> 00:59:50,920 It's a big celebration tonight. You ain't gonna get no gas till tomorrow. 466 00:59:51,129 --> 00:59:53,548 My friends and I look forward to your celebration... 467 00:59:53,757 --> 00:59:56,634 ...and the hospitality of your charming community. 468 00:59:58,929 --> 01:00:01,681 It looks to me like a big night tonight 469 01:00:01,890 --> 01:00:04,433 Big night tonight, big night tonight 470 01:00:04,643 --> 01:00:07,937 For when the old cat's away All the mice want to play 471 01:00:08,146 --> 01:00:11,107 And it looks like a big night tonight 472 01:00:11,316 --> 01:00:14,777 Tonight, tonight 473 01:00:14,987 --> 01:00:18,072 And it looks like a big night tonight 474 01:00:18,282 --> 01:00:21,242 For when the old cat's away All the mice want to play 475 01:00:21,451 --> 01:00:24,370 And it looks like a big night tonight 476 01:00:34,840 --> 01:00:38,676 Hey, it looks to me like a big night tonight 477 01:00:38,885 --> 01:00:41,304 Big night tonight, big night tonight 478 01:00:41,513 --> 01:00:44,807 For when the old cat's away All the mice want to play 479 01:00:45,017 --> 01:00:48,477 And it looks like a big night It looks like a big night 480 01:00:48,687 --> 01:00:51,981 It looks like a big night tonight 481 01:00:58,238 --> 01:01:01,866 Quiet. Citizens of Boracho. Quiet. 482 01:01:02,075 --> 01:01:04,744 Citizens of Boracho. Thank you. 483 01:01:04,953 --> 01:01:08,539 As Mayor of Boracho, I offer a toast... 484 01:01:08,749 --> 01:01:12,168 ...to our guest of honor, the Great Leslie. 485 01:01:18,884 --> 01:01:21,052 To the fair city of Boracho. 486 01:01:28,518 --> 01:01:30,186 Now here she is... 487 01:01:30,395 --> 01:01:35,650 ...the Queen of the West, Boracho's own Lily Olay. 488 01:01:42,574 --> 01:01:47,536 He sleeps out there 489 01:01:47,746 --> 01:01:52,708 Out where the coyotes wail 490 01:01:52,918 --> 01:01:58,881 The reason he ain't At the bar with the boys 491 01:01:59,091 --> 01:02:06,055 Makes quite a dismal tale 492 01:02:08,100 --> 01:02:13,062 He shouldn't-a, hadn't-a Oughtn't-a swang on me 493 01:02:13,939 --> 01:02:17,566 He oughtn't-a, shouldn't-a Hadn't-a, no, siree 494 01:02:18,443 --> 01:02:22,738 You don't get many callers Sleeping on the lone prairie 495 01:02:22,948 --> 01:02:26,742 But he shouldn't-a, hadn't-a Oughtn't-a swang on me 496 01:02:27,786 --> 01:02:31,747 Way out west we're wild and wooly In order to explain it fully 497 01:02:31,957 --> 01:02:36,419 We're tall grown All grown 498 01:02:36,628 --> 01:02:40,923 All the men are hairy-chested And all the women, double-breasted 499 01:02:41,133 --> 01:02:45,594 We're lady-like until molested And then we're on our own 500 01:02:45,804 --> 01:02:49,598 He shouldn't-a, hadn't-a Oughtn't-a swang on me 501 01:02:50,308 --> 01:02:54,687 He oughtn't-a, shouldn't-a Hadn't-a felt so free 502 01:02:54,896 --> 01:02:59,233 His wife gets the the insurance And I'm sorry as can be 503 01:02:59,443 --> 01:03:03,404 But he shouldn't-a, hadn't-a Oughtn't-a swang on me 504 01:03:04,281 --> 01:03:08,451 This here job is mighty tryin' Sometimes the room is fairly flyin' 505 01:03:08,660 --> 01:03:13,080 With high-balls Eye-balls 506 01:03:13,290 --> 01:03:17,460 Wasn't got 'til somebody got him Tore up the joint from top to bottom 507 01:03:17,669 --> 01:03:22,131 I think I was the one that shot him As near as I recall 508 01:03:22,340 --> 01:03:26,302 He shouldn't-a, hadn't-a Oughtn't-a swang on me 509 01:03:26,845 --> 01:03:30,806 He massacred eight or nine men At the "Lazy B" 510 01:03:31,349 --> 01:03:35,644 He then took on the sheriff And the sheriff's deputy 511 01:03:35,854 --> 01:03:39,815 But he shouldn't-a, hadn't-a Oughtn't-a swang on me 512 01:03:45,530 --> 01:03:49,492 All you boys remember Harry The wrangler I was set to marry 513 01:03:49,701 --> 01:03:54,288 A long man Strong man 514 01:03:54,498 --> 01:03:58,667 One night he yells "I'm from Texas!" And socks me in my solar plexus 515 01:03:58,877 --> 01:04:03,339 Well, having normal, good reflexes I knocked him on his can 516 01:04:03,548 --> 01:04:07,343 He shouldn't-a, hadn't-a Oughtn't-a blacked my eye 517 01:04:08,053 --> 01:04:12,348 I'm really a lovable, peaceable kind of guy 518 01:04:12,557 --> 01:04:17,019 I wouldn't scare a rabbit And I couldn't harm a flea 519 01:04:17,229 --> 01:04:19,939 But he shouldn't-a, hadn't-a Oughtn't-a swang on me 520 01:04:24,402 --> 01:04:26,904 - I spotted the gas. - Shut up. 521 01:04:40,252 --> 01:04:42,044 If this story has a moral 522 01:04:42,254 --> 01:04:44,505 It's when you're looking for a quarrel 523 01:04:44,714 --> 01:04:49,051 Or show down Slow down 524 01:04:49,261 --> 01:04:53,222 If by now, you haven't mastered The gentle art of getting plastered 525 01:04:53,431 --> 01:04:57,893 You're just a low-down, you ain't mastered The motto of our town 526 01:04:58,103 --> 01:05:02,064 You shouldn't-a, hadn't-a Oughtn't-a start no fight 527 01:05:02,607 --> 01:05:06,735 Our burying ground Is a most impressive sight 528 01:05:07,779 --> 01:05:11,240 The message on them tombstones 529 01:05:11,449 --> 01:05:15,536 Is as simple as can be 530 01:05:15,745 --> 01:05:20,749 He shouldn't-a, hadn't-a Oughtn't-a swang on me 531 01:05:20,959 --> 01:05:26,922 He shouldn't-a, hadn't-a Oughtn't-a swang on me 532 01:05:33,305 --> 01:05:36,932 Howdy, mayor. Howdy, sheriff. Hello, there, Curly. 533 01:05:38,018 --> 01:05:39,101 Hello, there. 534 01:05:39,311 --> 01:05:42,187 Lily, this here's our guest of honor, the Great Leslie. 535 01:05:42,397 --> 01:05:43,772 It's a pleasure to meet you. 536 01:05:43,982 --> 01:05:46,775 Welcome to Boracho, honey. 537 01:05:49,029 --> 01:05:51,488 - Mm! - Um, won't you join us? 538 01:05:51,698 --> 01:05:54,950 Just for a minute. Scoot over. How long are y'all going to be here? 539 01:05:55,160 --> 01:05:56,911 - Unfortunately, just for the night. - Oh. 540 01:05:57,120 --> 01:05:58,537 We, uh, have to leave in the morning. 541 01:05:58,747 --> 01:05:59,747 That's a pity. 542 01:05:59,956 --> 01:06:03,125 I would like to propose a toast to Miss Olay. 543 01:06:04,127 --> 01:06:06,003 - Thank you, y'all. - Heh. 544 01:06:06,838 --> 01:06:12,134 It's lucky Texas Jack ain't around. He'd gun that dude for sure. 545 01:06:18,099 --> 01:06:23,395 Pardon me, Mr. Partner. Who is this Texas Jack? 546 01:06:23,605 --> 01:06:26,106 - Who's Texas Jack? - Who? 547 01:06:26,316 --> 01:06:30,027 The roughest, toughest gunslinger in these parts. 548 01:06:30,236 --> 01:06:31,612 Lily is his girl. 549 01:06:32,405 --> 01:06:33,405 Ooh. 550 01:06:33,615 --> 01:06:36,450 - Lily's his girl. - Terrific. 551 01:06:44,542 --> 01:06:46,001 Oh. 552 01:06:48,088 --> 01:06:50,714 Honey, your smile is downright painful. 553 01:06:50,966 --> 01:06:53,717 Thank you. Are you a native of Boracho? 554 01:06:53,969 --> 01:06:56,971 I ain't no native, I was born here. 555 01:06:58,098 --> 01:06:59,723 - Mr. Partner. - Yeah. 556 01:06:59,933 --> 01:07:02,351 Where would I find this Texas Jack? 557 01:07:02,602 --> 01:07:05,104 He's got a ranch about eight miles south of town. 558 01:07:05,313 --> 01:07:07,106 Why, thank you. 559 01:07:10,568 --> 01:07:14,363 I gotta go up and get on that there moon again. Don't go away, you hear? 560 01:07:14,572 --> 01:07:18,701 - It's been a pleasure to meet you. - Welcome to Boracho, honey. 561 01:07:28,920 --> 01:07:30,963 Texas Jack. 562 01:07:31,881 --> 01:07:33,757 Jack. 563 01:07:46,396 --> 01:07:50,482 Now wait a minute, Jack. This is a friendly celebration. 564 01:07:50,692 --> 01:07:54,737 Fiddledeedee. I don't much like the way you're celebrating. 565 01:07:55,071 --> 01:07:58,741 So you just step back, sheriff, unless you want to fall back. 566 01:07:59,784 --> 01:08:01,910 Howdy, Jack, honey. 567 01:08:12,756 --> 01:08:14,214 Jack, honey, don't get rough. 568 01:08:14,424 --> 01:08:17,134 - He's the guest of honor. - What? 569 01:08:22,348 --> 01:08:24,141 Now just a moment. 570 01:08:29,481 --> 01:08:32,149 I'm afraid, sir. you have me at a disadvantage. 571 01:08:32,358 --> 01:08:34,568 As you can see, I am unarmed. 572 01:08:34,778 --> 01:08:36,612 He's unarmed. 573 01:08:43,661 --> 01:08:45,954 - Let's get the gas. - Not yet. 574 01:08:46,164 --> 01:08:51,043 All right now, everybody stand back and give a man some fighting room. 575 01:08:59,719 --> 01:09:02,096 Now will you give me some fighting room? 576 01:09:08,895 --> 01:09:10,229 My camera. 577 01:09:30,416 --> 01:09:33,335 Citizens of Boracho, stop. 578 01:09:33,545 --> 01:09:36,713 Music, somebody. Start the music. 579 01:09:59,946 --> 01:10:02,197 Citizens of Borach... 580 01:10:19,883 --> 01:10:22,509 Now will you give me some fighting room? 581 01:10:22,719 --> 01:10:24,553 Jack, honey. 582 01:10:33,605 --> 01:10:35,522 Excuse me, please. 583 01:10:56,628 --> 01:10:59,546 - Now look what you've done. - Me? 584 01:11:30,036 --> 01:11:31,203 - There's the gas. - Fight. 585 01:11:31,412 --> 01:11:34,748 - Fight, fight! Fight in the saloon! Fight! - Fight! Fight! 586 01:11:34,958 --> 01:11:37,584 Big fight in the saloon! Fight! 587 01:11:37,794 --> 01:11:41,129 Fight! There's a big fight in the saloon. Texas Jack! He's drunk! 588 01:11:43,549 --> 01:11:46,635 Running amok, I tell you! Max. 589 01:11:52,225 --> 01:11:54,518 Max, you idiot, the gas. Get the gas. 590 01:12:00,817 --> 01:12:02,192 Where's the car? 591 01:12:02,568 --> 01:12:03,694 Where's the car? 592 01:12:03,903 --> 01:12:06,697 - Get the car! - I'll get the car. 593 01:12:31,806 --> 01:12:34,391 Boss! Hey, boss! 594 01:13:37,580 --> 01:13:41,083 Now can I have me some fighting room? 595 01:13:45,463 --> 01:13:46,838 Max. 596 01:13:48,174 --> 01:13:50,425 The back is full. I'll put the rest of the gas... 597 01:13:50,635 --> 01:13:51,802 ...in the seat. - Leave it. 598 01:13:52,011 --> 01:13:53,804 Leave it? Can't leave it for Leslie. 599 01:13:54,013 --> 01:13:57,265 Leave Leslie to me. Start the car. The car. 600 01:13:58,684 --> 01:13:59,768 Switch on! 601 01:14:07,360 --> 01:14:09,111 My apologies. 602 01:14:14,534 --> 01:14:16,118 The gasoline. 603 01:14:22,667 --> 01:14:24,626 We shall win. 604 01:14:41,102 --> 01:14:44,980 - Well, that finishes Leslie. - Oh, no, not Leslie. Never Leslie. 605 01:14:45,189 --> 01:14:49,651 The Great Leslie. He'll think of something but we'll be in Alaska by the time he does. Ha, ha. 606 01:15:10,882 --> 01:15:12,340 Hyah! Ha! 607 01:15:15,553 --> 01:15:17,512 Hyah! Ha! 608 01:15:19,724 --> 01:15:21,683 Whoa! 609 01:15:26,981 --> 01:15:28,732 I'm offering you a lift. 610 01:15:35,281 --> 01:15:37,741 Or would you prefer an engraved invitation? 611 01:15:41,746 --> 01:15:45,248 - I might consider an apology. - An apology? 612 01:15:45,500 --> 01:15:47,709 For what? It's 20 miles back to Boracho. 613 01:15:47,919 --> 01:15:50,045 - You'd never make it. - Well, that's your fault. 614 01:15:50,796 --> 01:15:52,005 My fault. 615 01:15:52,215 --> 01:15:54,883 I warned you. I would not be left behind in Boracho. 616 01:15:55,092 --> 01:15:57,928 You left me no choice so I had to stow away in Fate's car. 617 01:15:58,137 --> 01:15:59,846 And he cast you adrift. 618 01:16:00,056 --> 01:16:02,974 If you had provided me with transportation as far as Grommet... 619 01:16:03,184 --> 01:16:06,269 ...where I could have caught a train, it never would have happened. 620 01:16:06,479 --> 01:16:09,356 Grommet was 100 miles out of our way. 621 01:16:09,982 --> 01:16:12,442 And where are you going now? 622 01:16:12,818 --> 01:16:15,570 Because Professor Fate destroyed all the gasoline... 623 01:16:15,780 --> 01:16:18,907 ...Grommet is a matter of necessity. - And when you reach Grommet... 624 01:16:19,116 --> 01:16:20,951 ...you'll send for gasoline? - Certainly. 625 01:16:21,160 --> 01:16:25,872 But if you were to send for gasoline now it would be in Grommet when you arrived. 626 01:16:26,082 --> 01:16:28,917 If I were to send for gasoline now I would need a telegraph. 627 01:16:30,461 --> 01:16:32,087 Not necessarily. 628 01:16:42,431 --> 01:16:44,808 I will take you no further than Grommet. 629 01:17:09,083 --> 01:17:11,334 Hey, professor, where we going? 630 01:17:11,586 --> 01:17:15,630 We save 15 miles by following the tracks, Max. 631 01:17:15,840 --> 01:17:17,799 Oh, terrific. 632 01:17:59,383 --> 01:18:01,718 - Is that gasoline? - Sure is. 633 01:18:01,927 --> 01:18:04,054 - Oh, boy. - Let me give you a hand with it. 634 01:18:04,263 --> 01:18:06,181 Wait a minute. 635 01:18:06,390 --> 01:18:09,601 - Nobody gets nothing till it's signed for. - Of course. 636 01:18:09,810 --> 01:18:12,812 - You M. Dubois? - I beg your pardon. 637 01:18:13,022 --> 01:18:15,857 - Gasoline consigned to M. Dubois. - What? 638 01:18:16,108 --> 01:18:18,234 - Oh, I'm M. Dubois. - I knew it. 639 01:18:18,444 --> 01:18:19,694 You got some identification? 640 01:18:19,904 --> 01:18:22,530 What did I tell you? I told you not to trust her. 641 01:18:22,740 --> 01:18:24,032 My press card. 642 01:18:25,826 --> 01:18:28,244 Okay, just sign on the line. 643 01:18:29,455 --> 01:18:31,706 - What if I don't sign? - You see. 644 01:18:31,916 --> 01:18:35,085 Look, ma'am, you don't sign, you don't get no gas. 645 01:18:35,294 --> 01:18:39,047 Well, Mr. Leslie? You wish to continue the race, so do I. 646 01:18:39,298 --> 01:18:40,924 As far as the West Coast? 647 01:18:41,133 --> 01:18:43,885 If she goes, I stay. 648 01:18:44,804 --> 01:18:45,845 Hezekiah. 649 01:18:46,055 --> 01:18:48,598 You going to sign or do I send the gas back to New York? 650 01:18:48,808 --> 01:18:50,183 Miss Dubois, this is very... 651 01:18:50,393 --> 01:18:52,644 The gas is yours if you take me to the West Coast. 652 01:18:52,853 --> 01:18:55,230 Under the circumstances, I consider that fair. 653 01:18:55,439 --> 01:18:57,440 Load the gas back on the train. 654 01:18:57,650 --> 01:19:00,485 She's not signing and the train's leaving in five minutes. 655 01:19:00,736 --> 01:19:04,572 Just one moment, please, sir. I will not leave without Hezekiah. 656 01:19:04,782 --> 01:19:06,700 If I can change his mind? 657 01:19:08,327 --> 01:19:09,744 All right. 658 01:19:13,833 --> 01:19:16,292 Suppose you don't change his mind? 659 01:19:16,919 --> 01:19:19,796 Then I shall take this train back to New York. 660 01:19:22,633 --> 01:19:25,260 Sir, let me give you a hand with the gasoline. 661 01:19:25,469 --> 01:19:27,470 Boys, would you care to join me? 662 01:19:31,058 --> 01:19:36,604 Hezekiah, I understand how you feel, but I beg you to reconsider. 663 01:19:38,107 --> 01:19:39,858 A deal is a deal. 664 01:19:43,195 --> 01:19:48,032 Well, then I guess I'll have to hurry or I'll miss my train. Goodbye, Hezekiah. 665 01:19:48,492 --> 01:19:50,368 You mean... 666 01:19:50,578 --> 01:19:53,955 Well, a deal is a deal. It's been wonderful knowing you. 667 01:19:54,165 --> 01:19:55,623 What about the gas? 668 01:19:55,833 --> 01:19:57,792 I signed for it. 669 01:19:58,669 --> 01:20:04,007 Oh, well, I'm sorry. You see, this race ain't the right place for a woman. 670 01:20:04,633 --> 01:20:05,633 I understand. 671 01:20:05,843 --> 01:20:07,010 Board. 672 01:20:07,636 --> 01:20:08,636 Well, heh... 673 01:20:10,389 --> 01:20:13,725 - Would you take me to the train? - Oh, well, yes, ma'am. 674 01:20:19,607 --> 01:20:22,150 Boys and girls, this is a six-cylinder automobile... 675 01:20:22,359 --> 01:20:23,985 ...with an overhead cam that can produ... 676 01:20:25,404 --> 01:20:28,865 It was built by a company especially for me, for this race. 677 01:20:48,302 --> 01:20:51,221 He, uh, just wouldn't listen, heh. 678 01:20:51,430 --> 01:20:54,849 I told him and, um, he said that... 679 01:20:55,059 --> 01:20:59,687 ...he's had enough and, um, he didn't think you could win anyway. 680 01:20:59,939 --> 01:21:01,773 And, um... 681 01:21:01,982 --> 01:21:05,735 ...he said he was going to go back to New York. 682 01:21:06,570 --> 01:21:09,864 Double-crossing females. Hey. 683 01:21:10,074 --> 01:21:12,742 Hey, boss. Look. 684 01:21:13,494 --> 01:21:15,620 Hey, conductor. 685 01:21:16,205 --> 01:21:19,207 You are trying my patience, madam. 686 01:21:19,416 --> 01:21:20,917 We know our rights. 687 01:21:21,126 --> 01:21:23,837 You're obstructing traffic and disturbing the peace. 688 01:21:24,046 --> 01:21:27,924 - And you are exceeding your authority. - I ain't exceeding nothing, lady! 689 01:21:28,133 --> 01:21:30,260 - Then arrest us. - What? 690 01:21:30,469 --> 01:21:33,179 Arrest us. I dare you. 691 01:21:41,313 --> 01:21:43,439 - Sorry, sir. - I want you to run to City Hall... 692 01:21:43,649 --> 01:21:46,067 ...and bail out Mrs. Goodbody. - Yes, sir. 693 01:21:46,277 --> 01:21:47,777 In about two hours. 694 01:21:47,987 --> 01:21:49,529 Yes, sir. 695 01:22:16,515 --> 01:22:19,142 I once went on an anthropological expedition... 696 01:22:19,351 --> 01:22:21,644 ...to study the Kwakiutl Indians. 697 01:22:22,563 --> 01:22:26,649 In winter, one Kwakiutl in a blanket froze. 698 01:22:27,276 --> 01:22:30,820 But two Kwakiutls in the same blanket... 699 01:22:32,865 --> 01:22:35,617 - Yes? - Were warmer. 700 01:22:42,958 --> 01:22:46,127 - Would you hold this, please? - Champagne? 701 01:22:46,629 --> 01:22:49,005 You put alcohol in the radiator of the automobile... 702 01:22:49,214 --> 01:22:51,382 ...to keep it from freezing, don't you? 703 01:23:04,980 --> 01:23:07,106 I can't see a thing. 704 01:23:07,733 --> 01:23:09,651 Neither can I. 705 01:23:11,737 --> 01:23:13,613 Maybe we'd better stop. 706 01:23:21,330 --> 01:23:23,539 I can't stand it, I'm freezing to death. 707 01:23:23,749 --> 01:23:25,833 Shut up. 708 01:23:26,377 --> 01:23:29,003 Even the thermometer is frozen. 709 01:23:29,380 --> 01:23:31,422 Everything's frozen. 710 01:23:36,845 --> 01:23:38,638 Look at that. 711 01:23:54,154 --> 01:23:57,782 It won't take long to grow back. It's only a half of a mustache. 712 01:24:17,845 --> 01:24:19,095 What was that? 713 01:24:19,304 --> 01:24:20,888 I don't know. 714 01:24:21,098 --> 01:24:23,266 Well, I'll go see. 715 01:24:34,570 --> 01:24:35,570 Ulp! 716 01:24:35,779 --> 01:24:38,322 Miss Dubois, please. Thank you. 717 01:25:16,278 --> 01:25:21,949 Oh. I'm so terribly sorry. I thought you were Maximilian. 718 01:25:22,159 --> 01:25:25,745 Nothing to worry about. We have a lot more champagne in the car. 719 01:25:25,954 --> 01:25:27,246 Oh. 720 01:25:47,601 --> 01:25:50,311 Professor! 721 01:25:50,521 --> 01:25:52,647 Yes! 722 01:25:52,856 --> 01:25:55,525 Where are you? 723 01:25:55,734 --> 01:25:57,944 Behind the rock. 724 01:25:58,153 --> 01:26:01,197 Behind which rock? 725 01:26:04,535 --> 01:26:08,121 This rock, you idiot. Come on. 726 01:26:16,880 --> 01:26:20,049 Close the door and hurry it. Bring it up. 727 01:26:27,683 --> 01:26:29,016 We're safe up here. 728 01:26:29,226 --> 01:26:31,060 Yeah, safe here. 729 01:26:37,693 --> 01:26:39,986 Help. 730 01:26:43,574 --> 01:26:46,909 My apologies. There's a polar bear in our car. 731 01:26:47,119 --> 01:26:51,706 If you don't leave this car immediately, I shall personally feed you to the bear. 732 01:26:51,915 --> 01:26:53,249 If the bears don't get us... 733 01:26:53,458 --> 01:26:55,918 ...we'll freeze to death out there. - Freeze right up. 734 01:26:56,170 --> 01:26:59,714 As far as freezing is concerned, you have the same chance that we have. 735 01:26:59,923 --> 01:27:03,092 - Not if you put us out in the blizzard. - It's snowing very bad. 736 01:27:03,302 --> 01:27:06,888 May I point out that you've completely demolished my top. 737 01:27:07,097 --> 01:27:10,975 And there's very little difference between the blizzard out there and in here. 738 01:27:11,185 --> 01:27:13,186 Except that you have blankets and stimulants. 739 01:27:13,395 --> 01:27:15,897 - Stimulants. Stimulants. - He's right. 740 01:27:16,106 --> 01:27:18,065 Miss Dubois, you're not suggesting... 741 01:27:18,275 --> 01:27:20,902 If two in a blanket stand a better chance than one... 742 01:27:21,111 --> 01:27:22,945 Then four in a blanket... 743 01:27:23,155 --> 01:27:26,741 - He's a cheat and a liar. - That's beside the point. 744 01:27:26,950 --> 01:27:28,743 The point is that we're freezing. 745 01:27:28,952 --> 01:27:32,288 Yes, and the time has come to cast aside our personal differences. 746 01:27:32,497 --> 01:27:34,749 Bury the hatchet. 747 01:27:34,958 --> 01:27:38,920 - And you know who has the hatchet. - He doesn't even have a whole mustache. 748 01:27:39,129 --> 01:27:41,756 Can't we settle this whole thing underneath the blanket? 749 01:27:41,965 --> 01:27:46,219 He's right. We must get underneath the blanket together. Close together. 750 01:27:46,428 --> 01:27:49,805 Therefore, it will be necessary to lower the seat. 751 01:27:50,015 --> 01:27:52,892 - Lower the seat. Lower the seat. - Lower the seat. I got it. 752 01:27:53,101 --> 01:27:55,519 - Max, the back. - Don't push. 753 01:27:55,729 --> 01:27:58,731 The foot. Watch that foot. 754 01:27:59,399 --> 01:28:01,651 - Oh. - I beg your pardon. 755 01:28:01,860 --> 01:28:05,112 - Champagne, professor? - Ah, thank you. Ha-ha-ha. 756 01:28:05,447 --> 01:28:07,448 Hey, this is terrific. 757 01:28:07,824 --> 01:28:10,201 May I propose a toast? 758 01:28:11,954 --> 01:28:13,746 What's so funny? Something wrong? 759 01:28:13,956 --> 01:28:16,123 What happened to your mustache? 760 01:28:16,333 --> 01:28:18,459 - I broke it off. - You what? 761 01:28:18,669 --> 01:28:21,712 I broke it off. It was frozen. Look. 762 01:28:21,922 --> 01:28:22,922 Ow! 763 01:28:39,731 --> 01:28:41,857 Oh. What time is it? 764 01:28:42,859 --> 01:28:44,151 Just a moment. 765 01:28:57,666 --> 01:28:59,000 Seven thirty. 766 01:29:02,879 --> 01:29:04,630 - Good morning. - Good morning. 767 01:29:04,881 --> 01:29:08,009 Oh. Very big. The head very big. 768 01:29:08,218 --> 01:29:09,844 Time to get up. 769 01:29:10,053 --> 01:29:11,762 Unh! 770 01:29:12,514 --> 01:29:14,807 Professor, time to get up. 771 01:29:15,642 --> 01:29:17,560 Come on, professor, rise and shine. 772 01:29:18,770 --> 01:29:20,980 Rise and shine? 773 01:29:21,189 --> 01:29:24,358 - Seven thirty. - Then you rise, you shine. 774 01:29:25,110 --> 01:29:28,321 - He's always like this in the morning. - I'm not always like this. 775 01:29:28,530 --> 01:29:31,574 This particular morning, I happen to be seasick. 776 01:29:31,783 --> 01:29:32,867 Too much champagne. 777 01:29:33,076 --> 01:29:35,870 I'm not sick from champagne, I'm sick from the sea. 778 01:29:36,038 --> 01:29:39,999 - It's not necessary to yell at her. - I'll yell at whoever I wanna yell at. 779 01:29:40,208 --> 01:29:44,045 - He always yells like this. - Let me out of here. 780 01:29:46,548 --> 01:29:51,427 Seven thirty in the morning, you idiots, I'm seasick. 781 01:29:54,139 --> 01:29:56,265 Rise and shine. 782 01:29:56,475 --> 01:29:57,475 Rise and... 783 01:29:57,684 --> 01:29:59,518 Aah! 784 01:30:01,229 --> 01:30:03,689 Help! Max! 785 01:30:04,441 --> 01:30:07,318 Max! Aah! 786 01:30:07,986 --> 01:30:09,528 I'm coming, professor. 787 01:30:10,697 --> 01:30:12,239 I got you. 788 01:32:25,207 --> 01:32:27,166 You're wasting your time. 789 01:32:28,084 --> 01:32:30,044 - Perhaps. - We're melting. 790 01:32:31,087 --> 01:32:33,506 - Slowly. - We're gonna sink. 791 01:32:34,216 --> 01:32:38,260 - Eventually. - Then you're wasting your time. 792 01:32:38,470 --> 01:32:40,679 I shall place this log... 793 01:32:42,057 --> 01:32:44,141 ...in a water-tight container. 794 01:32:44,351 --> 01:32:50,272 If found, it shall provide valuable information for those who may follow. 795 01:32:50,482 --> 01:32:53,234 Valuable information for those who may follow. 796 01:32:53,693 --> 01:32:56,612 - Professor, I got an idea. - What? What? 797 01:32:56,821 --> 01:32:59,907 Instead of the book, why don't you and me get into the container? 798 01:33:00,116 --> 01:33:01,617 Shut up. 799 01:33:02,285 --> 01:33:04,453 - We gotta do something. - Don't worry. 800 01:33:04,663 --> 01:33:08,415 Before this iceberg melts and we drown like rats, we're going to do plenty. 801 01:33:08,625 --> 01:33:11,126 - Yeah? What? - We're gonna starve. 802 01:33:15,131 --> 01:33:17,967 Miss Dubois, I recommend we have cold meals from now on. 803 01:33:18,176 --> 01:33:20,302 We're melting fast enough as it is. 804 01:33:20,512 --> 01:33:24,056 What difference does it make? A few hours one way or another. 805 01:33:24,266 --> 01:33:27,309 Minutes have made the difference in survival, Miss Dubois. 806 01:33:28,895 --> 01:33:33,941 Mr. Leslie, I suspect you are being unrealistically optimistic for my benefit. 807 01:33:34,150 --> 01:33:35,734 And it isn't at all necessary. 808 01:33:35,986 --> 01:33:41,657 We're lost on an iceberg, and doomed to drift with the tide and slowly melt. 809 01:33:43,994 --> 01:33:46,078 You're a brave woman, Miss Dubois. 810 01:33:47,122 --> 01:33:48,956 Red sky. 811 01:33:50,667 --> 01:33:52,418 So what? 812 01:33:52,627 --> 01:33:54,628 There's going to be a storm. 813 01:33:54,838 --> 01:33:56,964 What are you talking about? 814 01:33:57,173 --> 01:33:59,258 "Red sky in the morning, sailor, take warning." 815 01:33:59,467 --> 01:34:02,678 You thimble-headed gherkin, do you realize the odds against a storm... 816 01:34:02,887 --> 01:34:05,139 ...in this part of the ocean at this time of year? 817 01:34:05,348 --> 01:34:07,349 - No, what? - Hundred-to-1. 818 01:34:14,566 --> 01:34:16,442 Tie the rope down with the car. 819 01:34:21,239 --> 01:34:23,490 Throw me a rope. 820 01:34:32,542 --> 01:34:35,628 "Red sky in the morning, sailor, take warning." 821 01:34:35,837 --> 01:34:38,172 Why you, nincompoop. 822 01:34:40,592 --> 01:34:41,925 Aah! 823 01:34:42,677 --> 01:34:44,219 Max. 824 01:35:01,780 --> 01:35:05,199 - Another foot. - Another foot. Oh. 825 01:35:05,742 --> 01:35:07,242 Thirty-seven inches to go. 826 01:35:07,452 --> 01:35:09,036 Oh. Thirty-seven inches to go. 827 01:35:09,245 --> 01:35:10,245 Huzzah! 828 01:35:10,455 --> 01:35:13,916 At the rate we've been melting that's good for about one more week. 829 01:35:14,292 --> 01:35:16,377 You better keep it to yourself. 830 01:35:16,586 --> 01:35:19,046 Oh. Of course I'll keep it to myself. 831 01:35:20,548 --> 01:35:25,177 Until the water reaches my lower lip, then I'm gonna mention it to somebody. 832 01:35:31,017 --> 01:35:34,061 Um, what was the professor complaining about? 833 01:35:34,270 --> 01:35:36,522 You know the professor. 834 01:35:36,731 --> 01:35:41,068 He thinks we're melting too fast, and he was venting his wrath on the gods. 835 01:35:41,861 --> 01:35:43,487 Are we melting too fast? 836 01:35:44,030 --> 01:35:47,116 I don't think so. According to my calculations... 837 01:35:47,534 --> 01:35:50,244 ...we'll reach land just about the time that our feet get wet. 838 01:35:59,254 --> 01:36:00,963 - I'm hungry. - She's getting it. 839 01:36:01,214 --> 01:36:03,298 How long does it take to open a can of beans? 840 01:36:03,508 --> 01:36:05,634 The eternal struggle takes time, Max. 841 01:36:05,844 --> 01:36:07,886 What struggle? She's got a can opener. 842 01:36:08,096 --> 01:36:12,558 You cork-brain, I'm talking about man, woman, sex, conquest. 843 01:36:13,017 --> 01:36:14,143 What was that? 844 01:36:14,477 --> 01:36:17,980 He's making his move. And I'm sure she's interested. 845 01:36:18,189 --> 01:36:20,607 But unless I miss my guess, she will never submit. 846 01:36:20,817 --> 01:36:22,609 If she does, we won't get any beans. 847 01:36:22,819 --> 01:36:26,238 It's a contest, and he's using weapons that have toppled everything... 848 01:36:26,448 --> 01:36:28,824 ...from a Kansas farm girl to a European duchess. 849 01:36:29,033 --> 01:36:32,202 But she will counter with women's rights. Ha, ha. 850 01:36:32,412 --> 01:36:34,163 - That's terrible. - Yes. 851 01:36:34,372 --> 01:36:39,460 For a man like Leslie, that's terrible. Like me, he must win on his own terms. 852 01:36:39,669 --> 01:36:42,296 She recognizes no terms except her own. 853 01:36:42,547 --> 01:36:44,006 Come and get it. 854 01:36:44,549 --> 01:36:45,507 You see? 855 01:36:47,552 --> 01:36:49,970 Maybe she don't mean us. 856 01:37:09,699 --> 01:37:13,076 - Hey. Hey, professor. - Hmm? 857 01:37:13,286 --> 01:37:16,330 Hey, professor, up and at them. 858 01:37:16,831 --> 01:37:18,957 Up and at them? 859 01:37:19,167 --> 01:37:21,960 - It's 7:30. Up and at them. - "Up and at them." 860 01:37:22,170 --> 01:37:25,506 - Don't yell. - Always yells like that in the morning. 861 01:37:25,715 --> 01:37:29,343 You idiot. "Hey, professor, up and at them." 862 01:37:30,804 --> 01:37:34,348 "Hey, professor, up and at them, it's 7:30." 863 01:37:35,266 --> 01:37:37,309 We're underwater. 864 01:37:37,519 --> 01:37:41,188 We're underwater. We're doomed. 865 01:37:41,397 --> 01:37:43,899 - We'll make it. - We'll make what? 866 01:37:44,108 --> 01:37:45,734 - Land. - Land. 867 01:37:45,944 --> 01:37:47,861 - Ulp! - Land. 868 01:37:48,071 --> 01:37:49,071 Land. 869 01:37:49,280 --> 01:37:52,074 It's probably East Cape. I see a ship in the harbor. 870 01:37:52,283 --> 01:37:55,452 - We're saved. - We're saved. 871 01:37:55,662 --> 01:37:58,914 Max, we're saved! We're saved! 872 01:37:59,916 --> 01:38:02,876 - I am Professor Fate! - We're saved! 873 01:38:03,086 --> 01:38:06,171 - Max, my trusty trout, the cannon! - The cannon! 874 01:38:06,381 --> 01:38:11,969 Fire the cannon, let them know we're here. Ha-ha-ha! 875 01:38:13,638 --> 01:38:15,722 Push the button, Max. 876 01:38:18,351 --> 01:38:19,768 There she goes. 877 01:38:20,395 --> 01:38:22,813 Max. 878 01:38:25,066 --> 01:38:26,942 - Ahoy! - Ahoy! 879 01:38:27,151 --> 01:38:29,361 - Ahoy! - Ahoy! 880 01:38:29,571 --> 01:38:31,488 - Ahoy! - Ahoy! 881 01:38:31,698 --> 01:38:35,158 Isn't it wonderful to see an American ship in this godforsaken outpost? 882 01:38:35,410 --> 01:38:38,537 It is indeed. It's probably from San Francisco or Seattle. 883 01:38:38,746 --> 01:38:41,373 Ahoy, iceberg! 884 01:38:42,458 --> 01:38:44,459 It's me! 885 01:38:45,003 --> 01:38:47,212 It's me! 886 01:38:47,422 --> 01:38:51,341 If I didn't know better I would say that's... 887 01:38:53,136 --> 01:38:54,303 Me! 888 01:38:55,388 --> 01:38:58,140 - Hezekiah. - What? 889 01:39:03,479 --> 01:39:05,355 You gave me your word and I trusted you. 890 01:39:05,607 --> 01:39:09,568 Then you handcuffed Hezekiah to the Atchison, Topeka and Santa Fe. 891 01:39:09,777 --> 01:39:11,069 It was the Southern Pacific. 892 01:39:11,279 --> 01:39:13,739 What has that got to do with it? You gave me your word. 893 01:39:13,990 --> 01:39:15,657 - You gave me no choice. - You lied. 894 01:39:15,867 --> 01:39:17,659 I told you I would finish the race. 895 01:39:23,333 --> 01:39:26,251 - Push the button, Max. - Are you sure this is such a good idea? 896 01:39:26,461 --> 01:39:28,962 She is his Achilles' heel, she is our ace in the hole. 897 01:39:29,172 --> 01:39:31,506 - She must not be left behind now, Max. - I know. 898 01:39:31,716 --> 01:39:33,467 Push the button. 899 01:39:36,888 --> 01:39:40,474 - Out of the way. - Out. Out. 900 01:39:42,477 --> 01:39:45,562 - But you can't leave me here. - Hey, boss. Boss! 901 01:39:46,940 --> 01:39:50,567 - What are you doing? Let me go, unhand me. - Watch the car. 902 01:39:50,777 --> 01:39:53,153 - They're getting away. - Miss Dubois. 903 01:39:57,492 --> 01:40:00,869 We want jobs. We want jobs. 904 01:40:03,206 --> 01:40:04,539 Frisbee? 905 01:40:06,042 --> 01:40:07,834 Frisbee! 906 01:40:11,047 --> 01:40:12,047 Frisbee? 907 01:40:12,256 --> 01:40:14,508 - Oh, I'm sorry, dear. - Oh. 908 01:40:15,093 --> 01:40:16,677 - Capitulate, Henry. - Never. 909 01:40:16,886 --> 01:40:19,221 Well, remember, we're having the Simpsons to dinner. 910 01:40:19,430 --> 01:40:21,640 - Now try not to be late. - Yes, dear. 911 01:40:22,183 --> 01:40:23,809 Excuse me. 912 01:40:26,896 --> 01:40:28,355 I'm sorry, dear. 913 01:40:28,564 --> 01:40:30,148 I could hardly get across the hall. 914 01:40:30,358 --> 01:40:33,402 What are you complaining about? I have to sleep with their leader. 915 01:40:33,611 --> 01:40:34,820 This is from Reuters. 916 01:40:35,029 --> 01:40:36,738 "Last report dated March 10. 917 01:40:36,948 --> 01:40:39,950 Fate's car still in lead and nearing Srednek Kolimsk." 918 01:40:40,159 --> 01:40:41,368 March 10. 919 01:40:41,577 --> 01:40:45,497 They could have reached the Lena River by now. 920 01:41:02,473 --> 01:41:05,642 - Hey, professor, what is this? - Shut up. 921 01:41:37,258 --> 01:41:39,593 You give them beads, that makes them friendly. 922 01:41:41,179 --> 01:41:43,722 Obviously, they don't know who I am. 923 01:41:49,562 --> 01:41:53,065 I am Professor Fate. 924 01:42:06,996 --> 01:42:08,580 You wanna try the beads? 925 01:42:10,291 --> 01:42:11,958 What is the word for "friends"? 926 01:42:12,168 --> 01:42:13,293 - Professor... - Shut up. 927 01:42:13,503 --> 01:42:15,962 - I don't know this language. - Get the dictionary. 928 01:42:19,008 --> 01:42:20,425 - I've got it. - What is it? 929 01:42:21,636 --> 01:42:23,095 I can't pronounce it. 930 01:42:28,184 --> 01:42:29,184 Very simple. 931 01:42:37,026 --> 01:42:41,613 I speak, read and write French, Russian and Arabic. 932 01:42:50,748 --> 01:42:51,998 Get away from my car! 933 01:43:10,852 --> 01:43:14,020 Max, stick with the car! 934 01:43:25,408 --> 01:43:28,451 She don't act like she's being kidnapped. 935 01:43:32,540 --> 01:43:34,708 Max! 936 01:43:36,544 --> 01:43:38,670 Professor! 937 01:43:40,256 --> 01:43:44,843 Boss, this dispatch just came in from Maggie Dubois. 938 01:43:45,052 --> 01:43:47,095 "Have crossed Carpanian border. 939 01:43:47,305 --> 01:43:50,265 No contact with Leslie car in nearly three weeks. 940 01:43:50,516 --> 01:43:53,059 So there's no way of telling who is in the lead." 941 01:43:55,188 --> 01:43:58,190 The Webber Motor Car Company built the Leslie Special. 942 01:43:58,399 --> 01:44:00,192 - Have they integrated yet? - No. 943 01:44:00,401 --> 01:44:02,903 They still refuse to hire any women. 944 01:44:03,112 --> 01:44:06,072 Until Webber changes its policy, there will be no mention... 945 01:44:06,282 --> 01:44:08,408 ...of the Leslie Special in this newspaper. 946 01:44:08,618 --> 01:44:11,912 But you can't do that. We'll lose their advertising. 947 01:44:12,288 --> 01:44:15,123 Mr. Frisbee, until my husband is released... 948 01:44:15,333 --> 01:44:17,876 ...from Happy Acres, I am in charge here. 949 01:44:18,127 --> 01:44:19,377 Yes, sir... Ma'am. 950 01:44:19,587 --> 01:44:20,670 Now, let's see. 951 01:44:21,297 --> 01:44:25,217 Uh, they should be approaching the next gasoline stop... 952 01:44:25,426 --> 01:44:27,802 ...which is Potzdorf. 953 01:45:17,228 --> 01:45:18,853 I am General Kuhster. 954 01:45:19,063 --> 01:45:21,982 I will escort you to the palace where you will be the guests... 955 01:45:22,191 --> 01:45:24,401 ...of His Royal Highness, Prince Hapnick. 956 01:45:25,361 --> 01:45:27,195 We are deeply honored, sir. 957 01:45:31,033 --> 01:45:32,325 Who's Prince Hapnick? 958 01:45:32,535 --> 01:45:35,620 - He's the royal heir to the throne. - Oh. 959 01:47:02,958 --> 01:47:04,250 Aah! 960 01:47:04,460 --> 01:47:06,544 I say we should've dumped her a long time ago. 961 01:47:06,754 --> 01:47:09,964 I say we shall dump her when I say we'll dump her. 962 01:47:10,174 --> 01:47:12,050 She's playing you for a sucker. 963 01:47:15,805 --> 01:47:17,222 Good afternoon, gentlemen. 964 01:47:26,232 --> 01:47:27,732 What do you want? 965 01:47:28,859 --> 01:47:30,693 Who are you? 966 01:47:30,945 --> 01:47:32,946 Professor Fate. And who might you be? 967 01:47:33,155 --> 01:47:35,865 - Incredible. - Amazing. 968 01:47:37,868 --> 01:47:39,911 Let go. Unhand me. 969 01:47:40,121 --> 01:47:42,497 I found this wildcat swimming in the lake. 970 01:47:42,706 --> 01:47:45,083 I demand to know what this is all about? 971 01:47:45,626 --> 01:47:47,293 It's very simple: 972 01:47:47,503 --> 01:47:49,587 You and your friends are under arrest. 973 01:48:08,566 --> 01:48:11,484 - Will you be in Potzdorf long, Mr. Leslie? - I'm afraid not. 974 01:48:11,694 --> 01:48:13,611 We leave tomorrow morning. Early. 975 01:48:13,863 --> 01:48:16,865 Where is your competitor, this Professor Fate? 976 01:48:17,074 --> 01:48:20,660 - I suspect not far behind, heh. - If he ain't ahead of us already. 977 01:48:20,870 --> 01:48:23,121 Have you met the Crown Prince yet, Mr. Leslie? 978 01:48:23,330 --> 01:48:24,372 No, I haven't had the honor. 979 01:48:32,047 --> 01:48:36,217 His Royal Highness, Crown Prince Frederick Hapnick. 980 01:48:59,533 --> 01:49:00,867 - Hey, boss... - Shh. 981 01:49:01,076 --> 01:49:04,162 - Yeah, but that's... - Shh. No, it isn't. 982 01:49:09,710 --> 01:49:11,044 That was exhausting. 983 01:49:25,184 --> 01:49:27,936 - Your Highness. - Which way...? Oh, heh. 984 01:49:34,443 --> 01:49:38,363 Your highness, may I present the Great Leslie. 985 01:49:38,572 --> 01:49:42,075 - Your Highness. - And this is Mr. Hezekiah. 986 01:49:42,284 --> 01:49:44,786 Welcome to Potzdorf. 987 01:49:45,037 --> 01:49:48,748 Ahem. Excuse me, Your Highness, but do you have any relatives in the United States? 988 01:49:48,958 --> 01:49:51,543 Me? Relatives in States? 989 01:49:52,670 --> 01:49:55,255 It's of no consequence, sire. It's just that you bear... 990 01:49:55,464 --> 01:49:57,799 ...an uncanny resemblance to someone we both know. 991 01:49:58,008 --> 01:50:00,802 - Someone who looks like me? Ha, ha! - Yes, sir. 992 01:50:05,975 --> 01:50:07,225 Poor fellow. 993 01:50:15,067 --> 01:50:16,359 Ah, ahem. 994 01:50:56,317 --> 01:50:58,610 May I have the honor of this dance? 995 01:52:08,764 --> 01:52:10,973 Heh, in the Kingdom of Carpania if one doesn't waltz... 996 01:52:11,183 --> 01:52:12,975 ...one just doesn't dance. And I love to dance. 997 01:52:14,353 --> 01:52:16,354 Only problem is, I hate the waltz. 998 01:52:17,147 --> 01:52:19,691 I waltz just enough to comply with tradition... 999 01:52:19,900 --> 01:52:21,859 ...then I sneak off to more rewarding activities. 1000 01:52:22,069 --> 01:52:23,695 Ha-ha-ha. Brandy. 1001 01:52:23,904 --> 01:52:26,572 I should have scheduled divine entertainment for you: 1002 01:52:26,782 --> 01:52:29,617 Carpania's full of forests. The forests are full of gypsies... 1003 01:52:29,827 --> 01:52:33,204 ...and the gypsies are full of shenanigans such as swallowing swords... 1004 01:52:33,414 --> 01:52:35,373 ...and chewing broken glass, eating fire. 1005 01:52:35,582 --> 01:52:37,542 It's wonderful. I don't know how they do it. 1006 01:52:37,751 --> 01:52:40,086 - Your Highness should visit India one day. - Mm-hm. 1007 01:52:41,296 --> 01:52:44,924 India, isn't that where they have those Hindu persons that walk on hot coals? 1008 01:52:45,134 --> 01:52:46,801 And lie on nails. Ah. Ah! 1009 01:52:47,136 --> 01:52:49,262 They train those hideous snakes. 1010 01:52:49,471 --> 01:52:51,013 Aah! Ha-ha-ha! 1011 01:52:51,223 --> 01:52:54,559 I think I'm supposed to go to India, after I assume the throne... 1012 01:52:54,768 --> 01:52:56,728 - Do we go to India, general? - Yes. 1013 01:52:56,937 --> 01:53:01,232 Good, I can hardly wait. Sit. Here, have a cigar. 1014 01:53:01,775 --> 01:53:05,069 The coronation is tomorrow. I hope you'll stay, you Great Leslie, you. 1015 01:53:05,279 --> 01:53:06,863 I'd be most honored, Your Highness. 1016 01:53:07,072 --> 01:53:11,451 But if you attend the coronation, won't you lose time in your race to Paris? 1017 01:53:11,660 --> 01:53:14,912 Since there hasn't been report Professor Fate has crossed your border... 1018 01:53:15,122 --> 01:53:16,914 ...I must assume that I'm in the lead. 1019 01:53:17,124 --> 01:53:19,292 But he might cross at any moment. 1020 01:53:20,294 --> 01:53:22,712 It's been my experience, general... 1021 01:53:23,338 --> 01:53:26,758 ...that there is little advantage to winning if one wins too easily. 1022 01:53:30,888 --> 01:53:32,805 What do you say to that, general? 1023 01:53:33,474 --> 01:53:36,476 An admirable point of view. For anyone but a soldier. 1024 01:53:36,685 --> 01:53:42,106 In my profession, to win is imperative. To win easily is a blessing. 1025 01:53:43,525 --> 01:53:47,570 Yes, blessing. He has terrible mottos written all over his walls like: 1026 01:53:47,821 --> 01:53:51,491 "If a good soldier dies with his boots on, rest assured they're polished." 1027 01:53:54,661 --> 01:53:58,289 - Good evening, Your Highness. - Rolfe, you rogue, where have you been? 1028 01:53:58,499 --> 01:54:01,667 Uh, my apologies for being late, Your Highness, but I was delayed by, uh... 1029 01:54:01,877 --> 01:54:03,169 ...some last-minute business. 1030 01:54:03,378 --> 01:54:05,755 You haven't been dueling again, you naughty boy. 1031 01:54:05,964 --> 01:54:07,048 Heh. No, Your Highness. 1032 01:54:10,594 --> 01:54:13,679 Mr. Leslie, this is Baron Rolfe Von Stuppe. 1033 01:54:13,889 --> 01:54:16,808 Baron Von Stuppe, is Carpania's greatest swordsman. 1034 01:54:17,017 --> 01:54:19,101 Matter of fact, his prowess with the blade... 1035 01:54:19,311 --> 01:54:21,979 ...is surpassed only by his reputation with the ladies. 1036 01:54:22,189 --> 01:54:23,523 - Baron. - I'm honored. 1037 01:54:23,732 --> 01:54:27,652 Sit and drink up. The evening's young, we're all going to have such a gay... 1038 01:54:27,861 --> 01:54:29,654 Brandy. What kept you? 1039 01:54:32,074 --> 01:54:34,033 What makes you so great, Mr. Leslie? 1040 01:54:35,285 --> 01:54:39,664 Greatness is a lighthearted title for theatrical amusements. 1041 01:54:40,374 --> 01:54:42,834 Or a definition endowed on men... 1042 01:54:43,043 --> 01:54:45,336 ...too long dead to know that it's been awarded. 1043 01:54:47,256 --> 01:54:49,006 I'm simply Leslie. 1044 01:54:49,550 --> 01:54:51,926 And I'm at your service, Your Highness. 1045 01:55:06,900 --> 01:55:09,318 Oh. Goodness gracious. 1046 01:55:09,528 --> 01:55:12,113 You know there's one thing wrong with living in a palace: 1047 01:55:12,322 --> 01:55:14,574 It takes so long to get from one place to another. 1048 01:55:14,783 --> 01:55:18,119 I live in a constant state of exhaustion. Poor prince. Ah, ha! 1049 01:55:18,370 --> 01:55:21,706 One good thing, when one was young, you could play along the corridors. 1050 01:55:21,915 --> 01:55:25,543 I used to ride my pony up and down this corridor when I was young. 1051 01:55:25,752 --> 01:55:27,920 Then I grew up and got drunk, and fell off. 1052 01:55:33,260 --> 01:55:34,719 I'm going to bed now. 1053 01:55:35,929 --> 01:55:37,305 Good night, Your Highness. 1054 01:55:37,514 --> 01:55:39,974 - Who is going to tuck me in? - I can manage that. 1055 01:55:40,183 --> 01:55:43,102 No. You're the sloppiest tucker-inner in all Potzdorf. 1056 01:55:43,312 --> 01:55:46,731 If there's anything I abhor, it's a sloppy tucker-inner. 1057 01:55:49,651 --> 01:55:51,068 Good night, you good Leslie, you. 1058 01:55:51,278 --> 01:55:54,155 Sleep tight and don't let the bedbugs bite. Ha, ha! 1059 01:55:54,364 --> 01:55:55,781 Ugh. 1060 01:56:01,455 --> 01:56:02,914 There, kids. 1061 01:56:05,834 --> 01:56:07,585 They've been waiting for me. 1062 01:56:09,713 --> 01:56:11,505 Oh. 1063 01:56:13,467 --> 01:56:15,092 Mumsy... 1064 01:56:15,552 --> 01:56:19,430 ...I'm afraid I had a teeny-weeny little bit too much to drink. 1065 01:56:20,307 --> 01:56:23,267 But then again, I always have a teeny-weeny bit too much to drink. 1066 01:56:26,772 --> 01:56:29,273 Because Mumsy isn't here to scold me. 1067 01:56:29,733 --> 01:56:31,442 I wish Mumsy was here. 1068 01:57:02,849 --> 01:57:04,100 Hello. 1069 01:57:09,022 --> 01:57:10,731 Good night, Mumsy. 1070 01:57:34,881 --> 01:57:36,757 Running like a top. 1071 01:57:37,801 --> 01:57:41,929 Good mechanics gotta always keep checking. Every little thing. 1072 01:57:42,139 --> 01:57:43,514 A beautiful machine. 1073 01:57:43,724 --> 01:57:44,974 Indeed it is. 1074 01:57:45,183 --> 01:57:49,186 And you make sure nobody gets nearer than 50 feet to it, you understand? 1075 01:57:49,646 --> 01:57:51,939 Unless of course, it's me or, uh... 1076 01:57:52,274 --> 01:57:54,608 ...Mr. Leslie. - Don't worry. 1077 01:57:54,818 --> 01:57:56,610 Well, I'll see you in the morning. 1078 01:57:57,154 --> 01:57:58,863 Looks like a beautiful night. 1079 01:57:59,573 --> 01:58:01,991 I, uh, uh-uh. 1080 01:58:02,200 --> 01:58:04,869 I think I'll just take a little stroll around the palace. 1081 01:58:22,179 --> 01:58:25,848 Don't make too much noise. It's a secret. 1082 01:58:26,058 --> 01:58:28,768 - A secret? I love secrets, heh. - Shh. 1083 01:58:29,895 --> 01:58:32,521 - What's the secret? - What we're doing, Your Highness. 1084 01:58:32,731 --> 01:58:35,608 - What's that? - We're going to take you for a little ride. 1085 01:58:36,234 --> 01:58:38,194 Good. Where are we going? 1086 01:58:38,403 --> 01:58:39,695 For a little ride, Your Highness. 1087 01:58:39,905 --> 01:58:42,239 Oh, no! Ha-ha-ha! 1088 01:58:43,158 --> 01:58:44,283 In you go. 1089 01:58:50,332 --> 01:58:51,624 Speed on. 1090 01:59:05,597 --> 01:59:08,641 King, king, I'm going to be king. 1091 01:59:43,927 --> 01:59:46,053 Oh, yeah. Ah, ha, ha. 1092 01:59:46,263 --> 01:59:48,722 It'll do no good to get the bars out of the windows. 1093 01:59:48,932 --> 01:59:50,182 - Shh. - You and your stupid ideas. 1094 01:59:50,392 --> 01:59:52,518 Max can't accomplish anything with a pen knife. 1095 01:59:52,727 --> 01:59:55,396 And if he could, it's at least a 100-foot drop. 1096 02:00:05,448 --> 02:00:10,411 Unhand me. You blackguards, scoundrels! Unhand me! 1097 02:00:10,662 --> 02:00:13,414 I demand to see the American Consul. 1098 02:00:14,249 --> 02:00:16,083 You blundering idiots! 1099 02:00:16,293 --> 02:00:20,045 You'll answer to my government for this outrage! Outrage! 1100 02:00:20,255 --> 02:00:23,924 You are kidnapping Fate the Magnificent. 1101 02:00:24,134 --> 02:00:27,011 Let's get practical. I don't care what you do to the others... 1102 02:00:27,220 --> 02:00:29,430 ...as long as you let me go. What do you say to $500? 1103 02:00:30,849 --> 02:00:32,892 Aah! 1104 02:00:37,355 --> 02:00:38,814 Agh! 1105 02:00:44,571 --> 02:00:46,280 Professor... 1106 02:00:47,115 --> 02:00:50,242 ...allow me to present His Royal Highness, Prince Hapnick. 1107 02:00:50,619 --> 02:00:52,870 Heir to the throne of Carpania. 1108 02:01:02,589 --> 02:01:04,381 Hi, there. 1109 02:01:19,773 --> 02:01:22,858 - It's out. - Shh. 1110 02:01:55,517 --> 02:01:58,435 - No. - I suggest you reconsider. 1111 02:01:58,645 --> 02:02:00,145 I won't do it. 1112 02:02:01,064 --> 02:02:04,191 - Then you leave us no alternative. - I'll do it. 1113 02:02:04,401 --> 02:02:05,401 Hezekiah. 1114 02:02:06,820 --> 02:02:08,946 Don't just stand there, do something. 1115 02:02:09,155 --> 02:02:11,156 Hezekiah, please wake up. 1116 02:02:12,200 --> 02:02:13,325 Hezekiah? 1117 02:02:15,328 --> 02:02:16,745 Please, Hezekiah. 1118 02:02:17,831 --> 02:02:18,831 Max. 1119 02:02:21,167 --> 02:02:23,127 Max. Open this door. 1120 02:02:23,586 --> 02:02:26,964 Max, you little rat. I'll get you for this. 1121 02:02:40,979 --> 02:02:42,896 By tomorrow, you'll be king. 1122 02:02:43,106 --> 02:02:47,401 After that you declare General Kuhster chancellor and quietly abdicate. 1123 02:02:47,610 --> 02:02:52,072 Your Highness. Remember, one slip and you're dead. 1124 02:02:52,741 --> 02:02:54,908 Aren't we all? Ha-ha-ha. 1125 02:03:22,145 --> 02:03:23,520 Good evening. 1126 02:03:25,440 --> 02:03:28,317 When we get back to the palace, you must trim your mustache. 1127 02:03:28,526 --> 02:03:31,278 You must look exactly like the prince. 1128 02:03:31,905 --> 02:03:33,405 Uh, can you laugh? 1129 02:03:33,615 --> 02:03:35,074 What do you mean can I laugh? 1130 02:03:35,283 --> 02:03:38,035 - The prince has a very individual laugh. - Like what? 1131 02:03:46,628 --> 02:03:49,254 No, that's much too bass. The prince is more of a soprano. Try it. 1132 02:03:51,800 --> 02:03:54,802 Try it once more. Higher. 1133 02:04:36,302 --> 02:04:38,512 I demand to know what this is all about. 1134 02:04:38,721 --> 02:04:40,848 You've been told. You're under arrest. 1135 02:04:41,182 --> 02:04:42,558 I know, but for what? 1136 02:04:42,767 --> 02:04:44,685 - Spying. - Spying? 1137 02:04:52,068 --> 02:04:56,196 At last, the Great Leslie is finished. I've won. 1138 02:04:56,406 --> 02:04:59,575 They said I never could. Get off of the bed. 1139 02:04:59,784 --> 02:05:03,662 Don't you try any double-crosses, my friend. Keep our deal. 1140 02:05:03,872 --> 02:05:06,498 He stays in the pokey until I'm safely in Paris. 1141 02:05:06,708 --> 02:05:10,627 When it comes to double-crossers, you are looking at the king. 1142 02:05:10,837 --> 02:05:15,382 Not until you've trimmed your mustache, Your Majesty. 1143 02:05:18,344 --> 02:05:20,053 I hate you. 1144 02:05:55,673 --> 02:05:58,133 - I've come to see the Great Leslie. - I'm sorry, padre. 1145 02:05:58,343 --> 02:06:01,762 I have orders not to let anyone see the prisoner without proper authority. 1146 02:06:01,971 --> 02:06:04,306 I understand. Bless you, my son. 1147 02:06:26,913 --> 02:06:28,205 Leslie. 1148 02:06:30,792 --> 02:06:32,376 Leslie. 1149 02:06:35,463 --> 02:06:36,630 Leslie. 1150 02:06:36,839 --> 02:06:38,924 I'm here. In here. 1151 02:06:45,181 --> 02:06:48,392 - Max. - We've gotta go save the professor. 1152 02:06:48,601 --> 02:06:50,269 What about Miss Dubois and Hezekiah? 1153 02:06:50,478 --> 02:06:52,145 - They're with the baron. - The baron? 1154 02:06:52,355 --> 02:06:55,899 The baron. He's got everybody. We've got to go save the professor. 1155 02:07:23,469 --> 02:07:25,846 Stop. Stop. Stop. 1156 02:07:27,390 --> 02:07:30,183 - Escaped? - With a small friar. 1157 02:07:30,393 --> 02:07:32,519 Leslie escaped with a chicken? 1158 02:07:32,729 --> 02:07:36,148 No, you idiot, with a friar. A monk. A priest. 1159 02:07:36,357 --> 02:07:39,484 - What should we do? - The coronation must take place without delay. 1160 02:07:39,694 --> 02:07:42,696 With Leslie free, every minute counts. 1161 02:07:48,828 --> 02:07:51,955 You're right. With Leslie on the loose, every second counts. 1162 02:07:55,877 --> 02:07:58,295 Are you sure that the baron's castle is on a lake? 1163 02:07:58,504 --> 02:08:00,213 I'm positive. Great big lake. 1164 02:08:00,423 --> 02:08:03,050 And the only lake on this map is straight ahead. 1165 02:08:07,513 --> 02:08:08,972 You're not serious? 1166 02:08:09,849 --> 02:08:12,100 Deadly serious. 1167 02:08:12,518 --> 02:08:14,436 You're a sadistic fiend. 1168 02:08:14,646 --> 02:08:17,814 He has only to answer a few simple questions. 1169 02:08:18,024 --> 02:08:20,567 Not the mustache. 1170 02:08:22,528 --> 02:08:24,655 Why did you come here? 1171 02:08:25,948 --> 02:08:27,866 Who sent you? 1172 02:08:29,410 --> 02:08:30,952 - Proceed. - No. 1173 02:08:32,747 --> 02:08:34,581 Touch one hair on his head and you'll answer... 1174 02:08:34,791 --> 02:08:37,584 ...to Teddy Roosevelt and the government of the United States. 1175 02:08:37,794 --> 02:08:40,045 My country 'tis of thee 1176 02:08:40,254 --> 02:08:42,798 Sweet land of liberty 1177 02:08:43,007 --> 02:08:44,716 Of thee I sing 1178 02:08:52,809 --> 02:08:56,311 That's it. On the lake. On the lake. Come on, we'll save the professor. 1179 02:08:57,355 --> 02:09:00,357 Maximilian, I warn you, if Miss Dubois and Hezekiah... 1180 02:09:00,566 --> 02:09:03,110 ...are not in that castle... - They're there, I swear it. 1181 02:09:03,319 --> 02:09:05,320 Come on, save the professor. 1182 02:09:07,240 --> 02:09:11,201 - They're there. They're there. Cross my heart. - Shh. Shh. 1183 02:09:15,248 --> 02:09:17,040 - Terrific. Terrific. - Shh. 1184 02:09:18,584 --> 02:09:23,088 What's more, do as I tell you. Stay down. Down. Down. 1185 02:09:28,386 --> 02:09:30,679 Land where our fathers died 1186 02:09:30,888 --> 02:09:33,473 Land of my pilgrims' pride 1187 02:09:33,683 --> 02:09:36,435 From every mountainside 1188 02:09:36,644 --> 02:09:38,770 Let freedom ring 1189 02:09:38,980 --> 02:09:40,147 Wow! 1190 02:09:40,356 --> 02:09:42,357 Oh, shut up, professor. 1191 02:09:42,567 --> 02:09:44,067 My 1192 02:09:45,486 --> 02:09:46,945 Encore. 1193 02:09:47,155 --> 02:09:49,364 Country 1194 02:09:56,289 --> 02:09:57,956 - They're there. - They're there. 1195 02:12:11,507 --> 02:12:13,800 Here comes the Marines! 1196 02:13:29,585 --> 02:13:31,044 Good evening, baron. 1197 02:13:31,253 --> 02:13:34,381 Well, Mr. Leslie. 1198 02:13:34,924 --> 02:13:37,092 What a pleasant surprise. 1199 02:13:37,301 --> 02:13:40,595 I half expected to see you again, but, uh... 1200 02:13:41,138 --> 02:13:43,139 ...not with a sword in your hand. 1201 02:13:43,349 --> 02:13:44,641 Do you prefer the foil? 1202 02:13:44,850 --> 02:13:47,227 Not particularly. It happened to be convenient. 1203 02:13:47,436 --> 02:13:50,105 I presume you know how to use one. 1204 02:13:50,773 --> 02:13:53,024 I hope that won't be necessary. 1205 02:13:53,234 --> 02:13:55,527 I'm sure you do. 1206 02:13:58,531 --> 02:14:01,908 Will, uh, you release Miss Dubois and the others? 1207 02:14:02,076 --> 02:14:04,369 - No. - I'm afraid this will be necessary. 1208 02:14:04,578 --> 02:14:06,329 You're being very foolish. 1209 02:14:06,580 --> 02:14:10,417 That's an assumption, baron. You make me the victim even before we start. 1210 02:14:11,460 --> 02:14:12,585 It's your life. 1211 02:14:12,795 --> 02:14:16,756 Heh, you're assuming again. En garde. 1212 02:14:39,280 --> 02:14:43,033 Very adroit, Mr. Leslie. Very skilled. 1213 02:15:08,642 --> 02:15:12,479 My compliments, Mr. Leslie. You handle a foil very well. 1214 02:15:12,688 --> 02:15:14,522 Thank you, baron. So do you. 1215 02:15:14,732 --> 02:15:18,568 Personally, I prefer a man's weapon. How are you with a saber? 1216 02:15:18,778 --> 02:15:20,862 There's only one way to find out. 1217 02:15:22,073 --> 02:15:23,656 Mr. Leslie. 1218 02:15:39,548 --> 02:15:41,174 Surround him! 1219 02:15:42,968 --> 02:15:44,886 Look out! Look out! Look out! 1220 02:15:47,723 --> 02:15:48,890 Oh, the smoke! 1221 02:16:45,698 --> 02:16:47,198 Hey, ah! 1222 02:17:29,533 --> 02:17:30,783 Running away, baron? 1223 02:17:30,951 --> 02:17:33,036 As a very wise English gentleman once said: 1224 02:17:33,287 --> 02:17:36,456 "He who fights and runs away, may live to fight another day." 1225 02:17:36,665 --> 02:17:39,667 So until another day, Mr. Leslie. 1226 02:17:42,129 --> 02:17:45,882 Please excuse me. I have a boat waiting. 1227 02:19:09,425 --> 02:19:12,260 Faster! Ha, ha. 1228 02:20:46,939 --> 02:20:49,399 Professor, the jig is up. 1229 02:21:12,214 --> 02:21:13,881 Your Highness. 1230 02:21:14,716 --> 02:21:17,969 Your Royal Highness. Your Royal Highness! 1231 02:21:39,908 --> 02:21:44,745 Wait, Your Royal Highness! My prince! 1232 02:21:52,921 --> 02:21:54,797 Out of the way! 1233 02:21:56,675 --> 02:21:58,759 Your Highness. 1234 02:22:06,810 --> 02:22:09,228 Aah! 1235 02:22:18,780 --> 02:22:20,323 Uh? 1236 02:22:22,743 --> 02:22:26,954 Your Highness, we've got to get out of here. 1237 02:22:37,966 --> 02:22:41,594 You wouldn't dare. 1238 02:22:50,020 --> 02:22:51,437 Agh! 1239 02:22:52,689 --> 02:22:56,609 Miss Dubois. Miss Dubois. 1240 02:22:56,818 --> 02:22:58,569 Please! 1241 02:22:58,779 --> 02:23:00,029 Ah? 1242 02:23:00,239 --> 02:23:01,447 Aah! 1243 02:23:13,669 --> 02:23:16,796 Wait for me. Wait for me. Aah! 1244 02:23:19,883 --> 02:23:21,342 Ugh. 1245 02:23:30,269 --> 02:23:31,852 Ooh! 1246 02:23:34,898 --> 02:23:37,066 - Your Majesty. - Hi, there. 1247 02:23:44,908 --> 02:23:45,908 Ugh, brandy! 1248 02:23:46,076 --> 02:23:47,994 Ha, ha, throw more brandy. 1249 02:23:49,246 --> 02:23:51,080 More brandy. 1250 02:23:51,290 --> 02:23:53,833 Brandy. Throw more brandy. 1251 02:23:57,379 --> 02:24:02,216 Rum. I never mix my pies. Ha, ha, I wanna play too. 1252 02:24:13,145 --> 02:24:15,229 Oh, Miss Dubois. 1253 02:24:19,651 --> 02:24:21,193 Hey, professor! 1254 02:24:23,238 --> 02:24:24,780 Ooh. 1255 02:24:24,990 --> 02:24:28,826 Hey, professor! Professor! It's all set! 1256 02:24:41,632 --> 02:24:43,841 - Ugh. - Hey, professor! 1257 02:24:49,431 --> 02:24:52,600 You. You're the cause of it all. It was your idea. 1258 02:24:52,809 --> 02:24:54,977 No, Your Highness. It was Baron Von Stuppe. 1259 02:24:55,228 --> 02:24:57,938 I don't care. I don't care. You're banished! 1260 02:24:58,148 --> 02:25:03,277 I'm getting a new tucker-inner. Banished, banished, banished. 1261 02:25:10,077 --> 02:25:12,370 - Ah. - Uh, Miss Dubois. 1262 02:25:21,296 --> 02:25:23,089 Hey, professor! 1263 02:25:25,175 --> 02:25:29,345 - Hey, professor, where are you? - Right here, you idiot. 1264 02:25:29,554 --> 02:25:33,349 - Terrific. Let's go. I got the car. - Go! 1265 02:25:33,558 --> 02:25:37,853 More pies! More pies! Thank you. 1266 02:25:38,063 --> 02:25:40,731 More pies! Ha-ha-ha! 1267 02:25:40,941 --> 02:25:43,818 Oh, Leslie! Leslie! 1268 02:26:00,210 --> 02:26:03,546 Goodbye! Farewell, you good Leslie, you! 1269 02:26:03,797 --> 02:26:06,048 I hope you win! I hope you win! 1270 02:26:07,801 --> 02:26:10,261 Oh, I'll miss him. Oh, there it is! 1271 02:26:11,888 --> 02:26:13,514 General? 1272 02:26:48,592 --> 02:26:50,217 Ooh! 1273 02:26:54,973 --> 02:26:56,599 E Flat. 1274 02:27:03,148 --> 02:27:05,065 I think I better go and fix the car. 1275 02:28:39,369 --> 02:28:42,121 - Miss Dubois. - Yes? 1276 02:28:43,498 --> 02:28:47,668 I believe the time has come for us to resolve our differences. 1277 02:28:48,587 --> 02:28:50,004 Good. 1278 02:28:51,840 --> 02:28:55,718 As you know, I've, uh, steadfastly maintained... 1279 02:28:56,052 --> 02:29:01,056 ...an uncompromising position about women's rights and the equality of sexes. 1280 02:29:01,266 --> 02:29:03,392 - As have I. - Mm-hm. 1281 02:29:03,768 --> 02:29:08,522 Therefore, it is safe to assume that has been the principal area of our conflict. 1282 02:29:09,065 --> 02:29:11,025 - No doubt about it. - Mm-hm. 1283 02:29:12,277 --> 02:29:15,195 Therefore, in the interest of progress and harmony... 1284 02:29:15,405 --> 02:29:18,741 ...I am willing to concede to your point of view. 1285 02:29:21,703 --> 02:29:23,495 Concede? 1286 02:29:27,542 --> 02:29:30,753 You are an emancipated woman, Miss Dubois. 1287 02:29:31,004 --> 02:29:34,256 And I am an emancipated man. 1288 02:30:12,087 --> 02:30:13,504 Come on! 1289 02:30:16,132 --> 02:30:18,717 Ow! Agh! 1290 02:30:21,179 --> 02:30:23,263 Come back here. 1291 02:30:26,434 --> 02:30:29,478 You are the most unreasonable, inconsistent female... 1292 02:30:29,688 --> 02:30:31,897 - I'm unreasonable? I'm inconsistent? - Yes. Yes. 1293 02:30:32,107 --> 02:30:34,149 What about you? Talk about inconsistent. 1294 02:30:34,359 --> 02:30:36,652 - Inconsistent? - And unreasonable. 1295 02:30:36,861 --> 02:30:38,529 - Unreasonable? - And arrogant. 1296 02:30:38,738 --> 02:30:40,572 - Arrogant? - Yes, arrogant. 1297 02:30:40,782 --> 02:30:43,826 All right, Miss Dubois, let's discuss arrogance for a moment. 1298 02:30:44,077 --> 02:30:46,078 All right, Mr. Leslie. Let's. 1299 02:30:49,958 --> 02:30:54,169 Any woman who has the unmitigated arrogance to consider herself man's equal... 1300 02:30:54,379 --> 02:30:58,007 Any man who has the arrogance to consider himself better than a woman. 1301 02:30:58,216 --> 02:31:01,552 - Any fool knows that a woman cannot... - That's right. Any fool. 1302 02:31:01,761 --> 02:31:04,221 - You know what's the matter with you? - I know what's the matter... 1303 02:31:05,640 --> 02:31:06,765 - Ha, ha! Ha-ha-ha! - Ha, ha! 1304 02:31:06,975 --> 02:31:08,017 What did I tell you? 1305 02:31:08,226 --> 02:31:12,229 She's gonna win the race for us. The buffleheaded vixen, ha, ha. 1306 02:31:12,564 --> 02:31:14,565 - I tried to kiss you. - I know what you tried. 1307 02:31:14,774 --> 02:31:17,192 You're the one that's been preaching emancipation... 1308 02:31:31,499 --> 02:31:36,003 We're going to win, Max. We're going to win! Ha, ha. 1309 02:31:36,212 --> 02:31:39,006 - I think you turn right at the next corner. - Ha, ha! 1310 02:31:51,519 --> 02:31:54,897 - You're not talking about equal rights. - I know what I'm talking about. 1311 02:31:55,106 --> 02:31:58,400 You're talking about some convenient feminine utopia... 1312 02:31:58,610 --> 02:32:01,361 ...that has all of the advantages and no responsibilities. 1313 02:32:01,571 --> 02:32:02,821 - Responsibilities? - Yes. 1314 02:32:03,031 --> 02:32:05,657 Look who's talking about responsibilities. Turn right. 1315 02:32:08,953 --> 02:32:11,997 - Go back and turn right. - We do not turn right. 1316 02:32:12,207 --> 02:32:13,999 - I know Paris. - So do I. 1317 02:32:14,209 --> 02:32:17,086 You have to turn right in order to get to the Eiffel Tower. 1318 02:32:17,295 --> 02:32:20,798 If we turn right back there, we'd end up on the Montmartre Steps. 1319 02:32:44,405 --> 02:32:47,074 You talk a good fight, but when it comes down to it... 1320 02:32:47,283 --> 02:32:50,869 ...you're as emancipated as a confirmed spinster in a knitting bee. 1321 02:32:51,079 --> 02:32:52,412 How would you know? 1322 02:32:52,622 --> 02:32:56,041 You're the suffragette. You're the one who wanted to bring sex out in the open. 1323 02:32:56,251 --> 02:32:58,377 - So? - So I brought it out into the open... 1324 02:32:58,586 --> 02:33:00,963 ...and I got slapped in the face for my trouble. 1325 02:33:01,214 --> 02:33:05,759 Your interpretation of bringing sex out into the open and mine are two different things. 1326 02:33:05,969 --> 02:33:08,637 Well, will you please tell me what your concept of sex is? 1327 02:33:08,847 --> 02:33:10,055 Gladly! 1328 02:33:24,904 --> 02:33:26,572 You and your stupid map. 1329 02:33:26,781 --> 02:33:29,908 She's still with him. You said if she was with him, we couldn't lose. 1330 02:33:30,118 --> 02:33:31,118 Shut up. 1331 02:33:52,015 --> 02:33:55,642 And because I consider myself sexually free and morally emancipated... 1332 02:33:55,852 --> 02:33:59,897 ...I'm still a responsible, discriminating woman who doesn't intend to jump into bed... 1333 02:34:00,106 --> 02:34:04,151 ...with the first muscle-bound egocentric male who thinks he can seduce me... 1334 02:34:04,360 --> 02:34:07,404 ...by agreeing with some of the things I believe in. 1335 02:34:07,614 --> 02:34:10,282 - I only wanted to kiss you. - Why? 1336 02:34:10,533 --> 02:34:12,075 Because I love you, that's why. 1337 02:34:12,285 --> 02:34:13,243 Ha. 1338 02:34:13,453 --> 02:34:15,954 - You don't believe me, huh? - I do not. 1339 02:34:20,126 --> 02:34:22,127 - What are you doing? - Proving that I love you. 1340 02:34:22,337 --> 02:34:23,712 You'll lose the race. 1341 02:34:23,922 --> 02:34:27,174 - Can you think of a better way to prove it? - Boss. Boss! 1342 02:34:39,229 --> 02:34:41,647 Max, I won. 1343 02:34:42,690 --> 02:34:45,359 - I won. I won! - We won. We won. 1344 02:34:45,568 --> 02:34:46,944 - I won! - We won. 1345 02:34:49,405 --> 02:34:51,531 - I am invincible! - We won! 1346 02:34:51,741 --> 02:34:55,827 - I have beaten Leslie at last. I've beaten him! - We won. We beat him. Yes. 1347 02:34:56,037 --> 02:34:58,330 - The world is mine. - The world is ours. 1348 02:35:05,964 --> 02:35:07,422 You lost. 1349 02:35:08,132 --> 02:35:09,591 Only the race. 1350 02:35:13,137 --> 02:35:15,222 - I am king! - King. He is king. 1351 02:35:15,431 --> 02:35:17,599 - I am the king! - We won. 1352 02:35:17,809 --> 02:35:23,105 No, I'm not! I didn't beat him! He let me win! 1353 02:35:23,314 --> 02:35:25,732 I can't win this way. I can only win one way: 1354 02:35:25,942 --> 02:35:28,110 My way. He let me win! 1355 02:35:28,319 --> 02:35:32,364 - No. - I can't win your way. You cheated! 1356 02:35:32,573 --> 02:35:33,949 You cheated! 1357 02:35:34,617 --> 02:35:37,869 You cheated! You cheated! 1358 02:35:38,079 --> 02:35:41,331 You cheated, cheated! I hate you. 1359 02:35:41,541 --> 02:35:43,417 I refuse to accept. 1360 02:35:43,626 --> 02:35:46,837 I won't win any way but my way. You've ruined my reputation. 1361 02:35:47,046 --> 02:35:49,631 Do you hear? You, I hate. 1362 02:35:49,882 --> 02:35:51,925 You with your hair that is always combed. 1363 02:35:52,135 --> 02:35:55,137 Your suit is always white. Your car is always clean. 1364 02:35:55,388 --> 02:36:00,392 I refuse to accept. I challenge you to another race. 1365 02:36:03,396 --> 02:36:06,356 - Get off my hood. - Another race. 1366 02:36:54,989 --> 02:36:56,531 - Come on, professor, go. - Ha-ha-ha. 1367 02:36:59,452 --> 02:37:00,452 - Come on, go, go. - Ha, ha. 1368 02:37:00,661 --> 02:37:04,414 Relax, this time, I'm going to win it my way. 1369 02:37:06,167 --> 02:37:08,585 Push the button, Max.