Christmas in Beverly Hills, A time when everyone,,,
,,, thinks only kind, tolerant, generous thoughts,
-I went looking for you. -What? What is it, Mushy?
-I went to the house looking for you. -Why? What happened?
Nothing. I thought maybe you needed me.
Heart attacks, that's what I need all of you for.
Phoenix, Arizona calling, Mr. Acebos.
Hello? Yes, operator, speaking.
Mr. Ocean doesn't answer?
Still doesn't answer. And Mr. Foster?
Of course, keep calling. They gotta come in sometime.
Hello? Jimmy, are you in yet?
You don't even expect me.
Sorry, operator, Mr. Foster is out.
Yeah, so is Mr. Ocean.
I made it a rule not to answer the phone during December.
That's crazy. Why?
Because one December when I picked up the phone they. . .
. . .sent me out in the snow to play with my friends.
That was at the Bulge.
Clowns they gotta be.
I like clowns but they should be funny.
It's a clown's business being funny.
And I ask you. . .
. . .what's funny about going to the pokey for 1 0 years?
-To me, nothing. -Yet that's where we'll be. . .
. . .unless every bit of timing is checked and re-checked.
One more question. Inform me frankly. . .
. . .what have I done to earn contempt?
Why should I be treated like I'm stupid?
Right, it was your scheme first.
So was the racetrack. . .
. . .the supermarket and the switch on Nelson's cars.
All my inspirations.
There isn't a man with my reputation.
So, why don't those fellows respect me?
Maybe because you just get ideas.
I just get ideas.
Be careful, she'll rub you out.
Acebos, he's insistent.
You dialed the right number.
Now please hang up and don't do it again.
-Where were we? -Right here.
That man is gonna flip.
He got us into the deal. Let him sweat.
He didn't silver-tongue you long, 30 seconds give or take.
You don't expect me to turn down a business opportunity.
-Especially with no risk. -I wouldn't have it another way.
-It's time we looked up Vince Massler. -He doesn't want in.
-Why not? -Beats the hell out of me, sergeant.
I took him and dragged him from Solano to Siegfried line.
I may have to do it again. Maybe he'll come gently.
Girls, time for your nap. Beat it.
-Hey! -See you later.
-Up, lover boy. Get up. -You're a spoilsport.
Harmon's coming in. Should I go to the airport?
I sent Steffans there.
Everything last minute.
Harmon should've been in on the scam weeks ago.
The whole crew should.
What about this Sam Harmon? Why from Hawaii? What's so special?
Who says he can be trusted?
Sam Harmon is Ocean's closest friend.
Another closest friend? What about Foster?
Before Foster, from way back!
We were in the commandos. Ocean saved his life.
Hey, Sam. Sam Harmon!
That takes care of me. Let's get to you.
George Steffans. Curly. Curly Steffans.
Curly. Of course, I'd know you anywhere.
You haven't changed either. You look great, kid.
Is Danny gonna go through with this commando raid?
Just like the old days.
Who is this Acebos? What is he?
Planning division. He dreamed it up.
Jimmy and Danny did the coordination.
What is he, a con?
-Leavenworth. -Where'd Danny meet him?
Who knows? A racetrack, a nightclub.
-Same old Danny. -Yeah, he likes action.
-Still married? -Yeah, but not working at it.
That figures. Soldier, fatigue detail.
Put this footlocker in my car. Hold it.
-What can I do for you? -I'd like to see the proprietor.
You're looking at him.
Doesn't Tony Bergdorf own this shop?
Not anymore.
Where can I find him? I'm a friend of his.
That's him. That's me.
What I have to tell you isn't a nice thing.
He's in prison.
-Shorty Bergdorf? -San Quentin.
-Where can I find his wife? -I have her address.
I'll get it for you in a minute.
May I call long distance?
-Long distance? -I'll reverse it.
-All right. -Thank you.
-Hello. Yes, I'll take the call. -Go ahead, please,
Corneal, it's Mushy.
It's not Phoenix. This is Acebos. Go ahead.
Tony Bergdorf is in San Quentin doing one to five,
He's in prison, the electrician.
Our master electrician is doing one to five!
Make it a little short, please.
Here, Miss Allenby.
Thank you, Mrs. Bergdorf. Mr. Allenby'll be so pleased.
-They're our very own children. -I know.
-Goodbye. -Goodbye. Thank you.
Mommy's so pleased to have you home.
-Gracie! -Roger Corneal!
-Where did you come from? -Been a long time.
A lifetime! Wasn't it our first anniversary?
Do you remember those rum drinks?
I haven't had rum since.
Those were the olden, golden days.
-You know about Tony? -Yes. It's a shame.
-He gets out tomorrow. -But they gave him one to five.
They gave him an amnesty. I don't know why.
That Danny, always a step ahead.
-Pardon? -I'm just mumbling.
Will you have Tony call me when he gets home?
He won't be coming home. That's finished.
I didn't know that. Won't he see the kid?
Sure, but he'll see him at the military school. . .
. . .in the presence of Major Taylor.
-Can I use your phone? -Sure.
I can't ignore the possibility of him. . .
. . .being a bad influence on Timmy.
This time it must be Ocean.
-Hello. Who? -Mr, Corneal,
-Corneal again. -Will you accept the call?
Yes, I'll accept the call.
That man sure likes telephones.
Come in. I'll be right with you.
Hey, Sam. Get them up. Get them up.
You look great. Is that what a diet of wahines does?
-You get them up now. -Shoot one in there.
Fellows, I can't hear.
You look human. Quit fighting?
Sam, I ran out of scar tissue.
Yeah, hold it a minute, Corneal.
Avail yourself of my hospitality, Mr. Harmon.
Scotch.
Tomorrow morning,
Tomorrow morning? Wait. Yes, proceed, proceed.
-Just listen, -Sure, I'm listening.
I'm a very happy man.
No, no, I said I'm a... Never mind. Go on. Thanks, Corneal.
It's excellent what you did. Yes, excellent.
Goodbye. Another crisis lived through.
They're letting Bergdorf out. Giving him an amnesty.
Some joke.
I bet Ocean knew it, but he wouldn't tell me.
No, he wouldn't.
He's gotta torture me. Eat my heart out.
He likes it.
You're not making yourself popular knocking Danny.
Who's knocking him? I love him.
I respect talent.
-He should love me a little. -Too tough. Don't ask.
How about that? A little hand for Lolita.
Now a sweet bundle from Texas, sweet as candy.
The tantalizing Honeyface.
Sorry about the interruption. I got a job to do.
What's the word, Vince?
-I never figured you'd go this route. -Vince, the plan is foolproof.
I only lie to girls.
If it is, why hasn't somebody done it yet?
Same reason nobody's gone to the moon.
It's gonna be a military operation by trained men.
Why waste those tricks the army taught us. . .
. . .because it's peaceful now?
You remember a bit called Operation Gold in Oran?
Eleven of us on a beach. . .
. . .with a rubber boat and six million in gold bars.
-We should've buried them. -We got shovels this time.
What do you say, Vince?
I can't do it. I got my wife to think of.
-Think of her rich. -Or me dead.
Stop talking like a kid.
You went through the war. Why should you get dead now?
You're indestructible.
I'm sorry. I'd go along with you, but my wife...
-When does she come on? -She's on.
-Is that her? -Why? What're you thinking?
She's a very lovely girl.
I'd like to take you home and spread you on my waffle.
Yahoo.
There's only two.
He begs for a job. Now he's dumping customers.
-Let's get the bum out. -Okay, Al.
-Now? -Now's the time.
-What's the matter with you? -Hold it.
Hey, what's the big idea?
-Oh, stop it! -Go that way!
-Come on, boys. -Come on.
I didn't figure to come across a brawl so far inland.
If you still want me, I'm in.
All right, you're in. Could be a little itchy.
I don't care. I'm tired of having bums yell at my wife.
I don't want her to take it one more night.
Neither do l, Vince.
Here, take that.
Shucks, Danny.
Cut it out. Here's a plane ticket.
When you get there...
Go to this address. Ask for Josh Howard.
-Josh's in with you? -Yeah.
-I feel better already. -Good.
Heard anything about Louis Jackson?
-Salt Lake City, last I heard. -We hear that too.
We'll see you in a few days.
What'll I tell my wife?
Tell her you love her.
That'll hold her for a few weeks.
It's fun time, Jimmy. I'll give him a party, you make drinks.
Jimmy Foster. Are you there?
How can you do this? You I relied on. I had confidence in you.
From the other one I knew what to expect.
He's hopeless, undisciplined, That's why I sent you with him,
Hello, Spyros, how are you?
Get away from that phone. I won't talk to you! I won't!
All you know is to give me heartache,
Spyros, I got good news and bad.
Don't tell me the bad. That I got plenty. Tell me the good.
We're leaving Phoenix.
They're leaving Phoenix. Darling, that's wonderful.
Why didn't you tell me? Tell me what's the bad news.
We're going to Salt Lake City.
They're going to Salt Lake City.
Left, left, right, left, left. . . .
Well, say hello to your father, Timmy.
-Hi. -Hello, sir.
Don't I get a kiss, or are you too old for that?
Sorry, sir.
Your clothes smell funny.
-I came from a faraway place. -I know, Japan.
That's right. Japan.
I didn't change. I was afraid I'd miss you.
-Miss me, sir? -Don't you go home on weekends?
Mother said you'd come to see me and I had to stay.
I'm sorry if I spoiled your weekend with her.
But maybe you and I can do something.
Maybe we can go to a movie, have ice cream?
-A football game? -I'd like that, sir!
Good. I'll call for you next Saturday.
-Yes, sir. -Right?
Dad!
-You won't forget, Dad? -No, Timmy. I won't forget.
Merry Christmas, Dad. I made it myself.
Well.
Wait a minute. Roger Corneal.
First man in the 82nd to be fined for fraternizing with the Fräuleins.
The first man to greet me. How come?
I saw Grace. Your kid glad to see you?
-Look what he made me. -Those beads?
It's an abacus. You add and subtract on it.
-That is clever. -Yeah. Grace told him I was in Japan.
She couldn't tell the kid where I really was.
No, I guess not.
How are things with you?
We need a master electrician.
-Who's we? -Our old outfit.
You mean Jimmy Foster and...
Danny Ocean, Sam, Josh.
They all got together? What's up?
It's a reunion.
We have been getting things ready for weeks.
-Sounds like a whale of a party. -Bigger than Anzio.
Only you won't get paid in invasion money.
It'll be the real long green. Stacks of it.
Sounds like the kind of reunion that can put me back into Calendar Hall.
Tony. Tony.
Hup, two, three, four.
Tony?
You have to take a chance to get rich.
Look, Rog, the last joker who fed me that line was a jeweler.
He wanted me to short-circuit his alarm.
He got sixty grand, I got one to five. I lost my wife and kid.
Funny, I thought I was doing it for her.
She always wanted a white fox stole.
This time it'll take you one to five to count your loot.
No, sorry. I got things to do on the outside.
And I'm gonna stay there.
Besides, if I went in on it, you'd be licked.
I used to be unlucky only for myself.
Now I'm unlucky for everybody. See you around.
Didn't you get medical attention?
-Yes, sir. -Then what made you come to me?
Dr. Griffin said I ought to see a specialist.
He made the appointment.
Look, doc. . .
. . .give it to me straight.
Is it the big casino?
I can't tell until I've seen the report.
What if the report says it is? How long?
Well, I. . . .
How long, doc?
What do you say, Tony? You can still change your mind.
-Will it be enough for college? -Enough to buy your kid a college.
-Come on, Josh. Your turn. -All right.
Vince! Vincerinio!
How are you?
You're a tough guy to catch up with.
Trash is where you find it.
What happened to the ball-playing?
No see. When I got out of the Army. . .
. . .the only club open was down South. No outfield spot.
Imagine how I would've made out, a one-eyed third baseman.
I always leveled with you, didn't I?
I'm stringing along with this, but I'm scared.
No panic, just a little something gets me up in here.
That's the only way to be. Makes you careful.
Look, Vince, the brave ones don't come home. You stay scared.
You were one who didn't want any brave ones with you.
That's simple enough.
In my book, bravery rhymes with stupid.
Some yellow-belly. Imagine the damn Army giving you the DSM.
I was scared the day I won that.
Don't mention it now. My knees start to shake again.
How come this doesn't make you shake?
It does.
A million bucks apiece. Guess you figure the odds are right?
Vince, baby boy, I figure it is like this:
The 1 1 of us cats against this one little city.
We're an overlay.
Okay, pal, I'm ready for the briefing.
Then step into my office.
-Sam Harmon. -Well, merry Christmas, Mrs. Ocean.
What are you doing here?
Stop getting prettier. You'll turn into a monopoly.
I asked you why are you here.
I got scared I'd get tired from those leis around my neck.
Sweet-talking Sam. Danny still in bed?
-Not exactly. -He's in the hospital?
-No. -Because some doctor called. . .
. . .and said Danny was very sick.
Frankly, that doctor was me.
In fact the message said he was dying.
I wanted to make sure you'd come.
-Dying was what gave it away. -You knew it was a gag?
It's the sort of stunt Danny usually pulls.
Why'd you come over if you knew?
It's Christmas. I have a present for him, simple as that.
Now what's your excuse?
I was wondering. I come to the conclusion. . .
. . .it must be love. Mother love.
I'll consider mistress, toy for a night. . .
. . .but I refuse to be your mother.
You got it all wrong. I'm the mother.
I just don't like you and Danny busting up.
Yeah.
We're sort of eye to eye there.
I'd like to straighten him out.
No, Mother. He's the only one who can do that.
What happened to your marriage, Bea?
It drowned in champagne.
I didn't think it got boring on cloud nine.
Boring, no. I just woke up one morning and realized. . .
. . .there was nothing but thin air.
So I got off at the next mountain, walked down and got a job.
Danny didn't like that very well.
And a little later I left him.
How'd he feel about that?
He wants me back, but not enough to give me what I want.
Such as?
I want a life that doesn't depend on the color of a card.
Danny ran into a little bad luck?
If only he had. Might've made him realize. . .
. . .what things mean when you earn them.
We didn't have a home. We had a floating crap game.
That's a way of running away from life.
-I better go. -Danny'll be here any minute.
I have a job to get back to.
I don't wanna see him anyway, Sam. Just no point in it.
Danny's not the only one running.
Don't hack at me, Mother.
His luck is bound to run out.
If he still wants me, I'll be around.
-Hello, Danny. -Wait a minute.
Down, please.
I came in with a fellow.
A fickle fellow. You stick with me. I'm sincere.
I got great news.
Auburn beat Alabama.
No, this is important, honestly.
Come on back upstairs for five minutes.
-No, Danny. Down, please. -Up, all the way.
The Skyroom's not open yet.
-Fine. -Why do I always give in?
Not another round. I'm out of training.
-It's a truce. Peace talk. -You always start that way.
Just sit there and don't interrupt me.
I've got a big deal going on. Large chips, carloads.
-That sounds familiar. -But this time it's true.
Oh, good. I like to have rich friends.
One friend who wants to spend a bundle on you.
-Gee, thanks. -Okay, that's settled.
On January 2nd, I'll pick you up and we're gonna hop down to Rio.
You're serious? I honestly think you're serious.
Of course I am.
-A week's trip to Rio. -Yes.
Oh, Danny, what a prize you are.
The only husband who'd proposition his wife.
I married you. It didn't work out. What's wrong with some hey-hey?
Nothing. Nothing at all.
I'd never knock it if there was love involved.
-You mean there isn't? -On your part, not much.
There's only one thing you love, Danny. Danger.
Cliffhanging.
You'd never love a woman like you love danger.
As long as you're lucky you'll stay in love with danger.
-As long as it keeps coming up heads. -Let's say you're right.
-But I did not invent myself. -What does that mean?
I don't own the patent. I can't change it any more than you can.
Anyone who says he can is a liar.
I didn't expect you to be perfect.
-Going down. -Just a second.
You could have given me a break.
I don't expect you to be perfect. I want you to be my husband.
Going down.
-Where do they serve the drinks? -The bar.
-James. -Hello there, Sam.
Don't stop. I'm just calling Mother.
-Hello. -Mrs. Restes' residence.
-Is Mother there? -Yes, Mr. Foster.
-Oh, it's my Jimmy, my innocent. -Another innocent touch.
-Jimmy. Where have you been? -Here and there,
It was wicked not to telephone.
-We've been home days. -What? We?
We? We means your poor Ionely mother and Mr. Santos.
I wrote you about him, I think.
He's been very kind and a financial genius.
-What I hoped you'd be. -Yes, Mother. Speaking of finances.
-Could you let me have some more? -Some more what?
Money. M-O-N-Y.
-E! -Yeah, M-O-N-E-Y.
Yes, darling. Tell me what you want it for.
I plan to paper the walls with it.
I try to take an interest in you, you snap my head off,
How do I know what I'll spend it on? It just goes, you know?
You mean spending money. Why didn't you say so?
I was afraid you'd consider an investment.
No, Mother, nothing foolish.
Hurry over and bring me a big kiss.
I wanna see my big boy.
Yes, Mother. I'll be there around 5.
What a way to make a living.
Let's have a quick briefing on Hawaii.
Hawaii? Oh, great sunsets.
One a day, but they're working on it.
-Weather good to get me up? -Sometimes it rains.
-And how about the women? -Sometimes it rains.
Did you take a good look at Bea?
Not really. The play went around the other end.
-She's still in love with Danny. -Then what's the problem?
-Yeah, I'm worried about him. -Worried?
-Maybe the project worries you. -Could be part of it.
You trying to salt the clouds, spoil the picnic?
Jimmy, what do you need this picnic for?
All you have to do is yell for Mother.
You haven't met Mother.
No, but I gather she's very generous.
Generous to a fault. Especially when it comes to husbands.
She only had five.
That must have left you out in the cold?
No such luck.
Would you mind spelling that out?
I had so much mother-Iove, you'd have thought I was quintuplets.
Everything was done for me.
After the war I tried to break away.
But money's a hard habit to kick.
That's why I'll go to our picnic.
Well, the Hawaiian hotshot.
-Hi, Danny. -Sam, how are you?
Same as always. I feel the thrill of life along the keel.
You sound like a ferryboat.
I'm not a boat, I'm a manly slope.
-People stare at me in admiration. -What happens?
Let's get back to how I was. I was fine.
Will you get Spyros on the phone?
I got into this caper so I could see you again.
Sounds like a hell of a price. I'm worth it.
In time for the jokes.
For you, Mr. Acebos. Very important.
-Hello. -The Los Angeles County morgue.
Los Angeles County morgue. Yes?
We have a couple of men here.
One is well-muscled and the other slender.
My goodness.
These fellows were traveling fast in an automobile.
Their names are,,,,
Never mind, never mind their names. I know the... I knew them.
Would you identify them?
I'm willing. I'll come down. I'll be right there.
My goodness, yes. And what is your name, please?
Just ask for Detective Brannigan.
Detective Bra...
How did he get my name?
Let's saddle up. Let's go.
I finally caught up with you. Where have you been for days?
You back with your wife?
I know she was in this hotel with you an hour ago.
You're two-timing me, and I'm warning you, Danny. . .
. . .I'm one girl you can't treat this way. I won't be neglected.
-What do you plan to do about it? -I'm going to do just plenty.
-Isn't it time you got started? -Wait a minute.
No, you wait and listen to me carefully.
I picked you up at the Biltmore because you're attractive.
I made a pass at you for that reason.
Nobody twisted your arm. . .
. . .made you any promises. So, what is this act? Not outraged virtue.
You really are a rat.
Let it go, Adele. I know about the guys you've had. You told me.
I didn't do anything.
Neither did I. So why don't we say goodbye?
Surely. And maybe I should say thank you for being humiliated.
Well, put this in your pipe.
One of these days I'll break your back! I swear it!
-Good thing she doesn't pack a knife. -How do you know?
To the morgue.
You...
You low, miserable. . . .
I cry but not for you. For my money you could drop dead.
I think he's mad. Back to the hotel.
You stay right here.
You, come out of that cab. So I'm mad, I'm entitled!
Okay, Spyros, we accept your apology.
No phone call.
With all these jokes you forgot to call who should be here.
I wanted to check on you.
-See if you're still alive. -Alive?
Well, you're so apoplectic.
My health is my greatest virtue. Every day I do exercises.
Everybody'll be here at 9:00.
Then you can entertain us by doing some deep knee-bends.
-Good evening. -My mother home?
-She expects you, but she's upstairs. -Thank you.
-You must be Jimmy. -That's correct.
Your mama will be down in a minute. I'm Duke Santos.
I'll wait in here.
Must be a funny feeling. . .
. . .meeting a stranger, your stepfather.
I think it's only natural if you resent me a little.
Then you won't mind if I don't call you Dad.
Duke's okay.
Oh, it's the engagement ring I bought your mama.
That's nice. Zircon, isn't it?
-Zircon? That's a diamond! -I'm sorry.
You probably thought that because it's so big.
Is it too big? Your mama's got wonderful taste.
Has she?
All right, rich boy. You want it that way, you got it.
Let's see how fat you get tangling with me.
I know your record and your connections.
A lot of loot and a rough guy to cross.
But I still reserve the right to dislike you.
Sure, sure. A man marries your mama. . .
. . .like I said, it's natural. Takes time.
-You'll find I can be a good Joe. -I'll tell the FBI.
Oh, they're not looking for me anymore. I'm clear now.
That's one point for Mother.
Easy for you to look down on people, isn't it?
All this ever since he was a baby. You ever make a buck yourself?
No, but I have plans.
Know what I had as a kid? A lot of nothing.
Nobody to help me either. Now I got a lot of everything.
Got a lot of years too, and a sick stomach.
Proves that my way's better.
-What way? -Choose rich parents.
Yeah, you bet that's better.
My folks are so poor I walked New York barefoot winter and summer.
One day I'm swimming in the river.
When I come out I seen shoes on the wharf.
One pair brand-new. I put them on. They fit.
Then some kid yells, "Them's my shoes! " So we fight. I win.
It's been that way since. Fight, all the time.
-You always win? -Sure, I got the guts!
Like you when you was in the 82nd Airborne. Your mama told me.
I've often wondered if I'd have the guts to jump out of a plane.
Only for money.
Or if I was young.
You gotta be young to do anything.
Loosen up. Have a drink to my wedding.
Why not?
-Soda? -What about you?
Not me. I told you, delicate.
Come on, Mr. Santos. Fight, always fight.
You got the guts, you win.
-Yeah, but... -What's the matter? Run out of guts?
-Darling! At last. -Hello, Mother.
What's wrong with Duke?
A slight attack of courage. We had a drink.
He knows he can't touch it.
He told me. Naughty of me, wasn't it?
Indeed. Not congratulating me is naughty too.
I'm sorry. Bon voyage.
It must seem I'm on a marital merry-go-round. . .
. . .trying for all the rings, but this is different.
You can say that again.
I know his background is impossible. . .
. . .but please don't judge him from that view.
What view do you suggest?
-A woman's. -I find that impractical.
Try. Since your father died. . .
. . .Duke is the only man who's ever needed me, not my money.
All right, I won't be critical. And now speaking of money. . . .
-Here it is. -Thank you.
A woman loves to be needed. Duke is the most important thing.
Outside of you. So please be nice.
When I get back I'll butter him up. Sorry I needled him.
Where are you going?
I'm going skiing with Danny Ocean.
You won't miss the wedding?
-Have I ever missed one of them? -Yes, the first one.
-Bye. -Bye, darling.
It's after 9. Everybody's here but this Jackson.
Shall we start without him?
Lack of organization, it's a poison!
It poisons enterprise, kills it dead, dead.
The point in having money is so that people know you got it.
I'll get me a big Chris Craft and not put into water.
Just leave it in my driveway.
Give it to the mailman or somebody.
Why don't you use it to improve yourself?
I don't need improving. I'm all right the way I am.
Gin.
I played it like a god.
How many points?
They got 1 0 points. Why don't you guys be smart?
Why don't you put your loot in with me? I'll produce my own pictures.
I gotta listen to all this. They're rotting my brain.
So where is this Jackson?
Where is the organization?
Don't panic, will you?
You know, it's a good idea.
Take a few big ones and do something for world peace.
Like buying out the Miss Universe contest.
Just sit around and talk to the girls.
Find out how things are in Sweden.
Or invite them for a weekend to New Orleans.
I don't like that approach. Use your loot right. . .
. . .you can order them to New Orleans.
-Explain that, professor? -By turning money into power.
I'll buy votes and go into politics.
Good idea, big boy. You'd make a good notary public.
He'd make a better coroner. A laughing coroner.
-I'm going into politics. -Your platform, Big Sam?
Repeal the 1 4th and 20th amendment, make slaves out of women.
That's real constructive.
Hey, will it cost much?
No, we'd have the price controlled.
Vote for Sam Harmon. Stamp out mental health.
-Got a better platform? -Sure.
Settle for an appointment.
That's deep thinking. I'd like you to meet our latest senator.
What a terrible thought.
Become an ambassador in a foreign country.
A little country. We don't want a big enemy.
Yeah, little country like Andorra.
-Or Pomona. -Little Rock?
You have any idea how much money a man can steal. . .
. . .if he was commissioner of Indian Affairs?
-That's what I'll be. -That you'll never be.
I'll be secretary of the interior. I won't appoint you.
That's a snobbish idea.
-Won't you? -I won't.
Certitude went out with equestrian statuary.
-What kind of language is that? -Beats me.
If you ask me, that cat's a spy there.
So where is this horse-wrangler? 9:30!
Still in Salt Lake City, saying goodbye to his wives.
-And his horses. -Yeah.
Up and down. And the houseboy's night off yet.
-Mr. Acebos? -Who's asking?
He is. Do you know him?
Oh, Jackson. Louis, my boy...
What's wrong? Louis, you did something?
No, we wanted to be sure he got to the right place.
The Beverly Hills police. The best in America.
They protect us night and day. Thank you, officer.
Good night. You're crippled!
That's the way we found him.
-Good night. -Good night.
Louis, my boy, come in.
I couldn't be in error, could...?
I couldn't be in error, could I?
Your name couldn't be otherwise than Jackson?
No, I reckon that's my name, partner.
Don't tell me why you had to come in such a pitiable condition.
Suits me, Mr. Acebos. Hello, Danny.
Hello, cowboy. What took you so long?
Hot damn, what a foxhole. Howdy, you all.
-Hello, Josh. -How are you?
Good. Great. Sam?
Ocean, you should be ashamed of yourself.
Enticing a broken-armed man into a project.
You know your problem? You underestimate people. Louis?
What's with the broken arm?
Why shucks, Mr. Acebos, it's all healed now.
You knew, you Dracula. You want to worry me into an early grave.
Lieutenant, brief your group.
Anyone not at ease, get that way.
Some of you already have an idea of the plan of this operation.
I want to point out that everyone turned up.
Not one goof-off.
This is a hell of a good sign.
Lieutenant, you and the sergeant ought to feel proud.
How about the bad news?
Sergeant Ocean.
This is our objective. Las Vegas, Nevada.
Mission? To liberate millions of dollars.
Now these are the casinos we hit:
Sahara, Riviera, Desert Inn, the Sands and the Flamingo.
H hour is New Year's Eve. Units involve. . .
. . .teams made up of former 82nd Airborne members.
How did you figure this was a job for old paratroopers?
Why not get some heist guys?
For the best reasons, Mr. Harmon.
A man with a criminal record can't get near Las Vegas or the casinos.
That lets me out.
You're no hoodlum. No connection with the underworld.
Hoods always mix with other hoods.
Where there're hoods, there're stool pigeons. But with us, no leaks.
You five guys, which hotels you in?
-Flamingo. -The Sands.
-Desert Inn. -Riviera.
Sahara.
There'll be five more men working with you guys as teams.
Sam, give me a rundown on the exact action on New Year's Eve.
At midnight they go nuts. Everybody kisses.
Then they sing, "Should auld acquaintance be forgot. "
-How long does it take to sing that? -I don't know.
One minute and 38 seconds exactly. We timed it.
After midnight we black out. . .
. . .the whole town and hit the five casinos.
Sahara, Riviera, Desert Inn. . .
. . .the Sands and the Flamingo. Nobody will even see us.
You got a question, Tony?
How do you black out a whole town?
What happens if you knock out one of these towers?
-You'll get a short circuit. -That's interesting.
Reimer and Josh are the demolition men. What's my job?
You open the doors to the cashiers' cages.
They are controlled electrically.
The cashier can open them by pushing a button.
But I can't push it from the outside.
But that's where you're gonna push it from.
Every casino's got a motor that generates power. . .
. . .for the tables and cages when the cable fails. . .
. . .which happens quite often.
The motor kicks in, and they're back in business.
Except they won't on account of you, Tony.
What happens if you cross the wires. . .
. . .that operate lights with the cage doors' wires?
When the motor kicks in, instead of the lights going on. . .
. . .the doors click open.
It's as simple as that.
But I have to study the main switch box in each casino.
Oh, but you will, you will.
Is this the only road in or out?
Yeah, that's route 91 . Why?
I remember reading about this guy in Perth.
Is this another of your stories?
-Who cut up his grandmother. -Fellows, let him talk.
And mailed her out of town.
-He ran out of stamps. -Which proves something crucial?
Pete's got a very good point.
Getting it out of town, that's another thing.
-That's where Josh comes in. -I wondered.
Don't wonder. He's the main cog.
-lf he goofs, it's over. -What's wrinkling you, Curly?
How long will it stay dark?
-1 0, 1 5 minutes. -That's not much time.
It's plenty if everyone does what he should.
Danny is right.
You should all move like clockwork. Seventeen jewel.
Boys, you should think of this as a full-fledged battle.
Leap into it with the same hearts. . .
. . .that got you across the Rhine River and. . .
. . .other historical places. Just think how proud. . .
. . .the big brass in the Pentagon. . .
. . .would be knowing that their labors made. . .
. . .this beautiful operation possible.
They'd all sit down in the officers' mess. . .
. . .and have a good cry from happiness.
Even I myself am a little bit tempted.
-Any further questions? -Yeah. What's your job, Acebos?
Yeah, Mr. Acebos, what you all gonna do?
Our modest friend here is a known felon.
They take one look at him and we're kaput.
-That's it. -More questions? Anybody worried?
I got a suggestion.
-What is it, Sam? -Forget it.
Forget...?
Forget the whole deal. I like to swing like you. . .
. . .but you ain't got a plan here.
Is this another of your morbid jokes, Danny, you sadist?
-What's wrong with our story, Sam? -For one thing, 1 5 years.
This isn't a combat team.
You wanna claim you're half the man you were in '45?
Can you run as fast?
Can you mix it up as good? I sure can't.
Danny, catch lightning, but don't try and catch yesterday.
Old times are only good when you've had them.
Sam. . .
. . .some guys grow old without turning chicken.
Did you hear about it?
Lieutenant Lionheart, you're brave.
But how dumb are you? I'm the only one that knows Las Vegas.
Believe me, the percentage is always with the house.
It's with the people rigging the game, us.
You are a deserter under fire, a traitor!
Shut up. I'll step on you.
You can't let him walk out like this. It disrupts the entire plan!
Got an idea on how to stop him?
-You saved his life! -I'm trying to save his life!
Sam.
Thank you, Danny.
You don't owe me, Sam. You're entitled to your opinion. You agree?
What about you, Josh? You got brains.
I got brains, Sam, but I gotta go with Danny.
It only leaves us one man short.
One man short. That's nothing, nothing!
Danny, darling, just run a want ad!
We'll have to leave out one of the casinos.
Hold it. Nobody's walking out.
I'm certainly not gonna let you boobs. . .
. . .pull this job without your best man.
So go ahead. When do we blow this mausoleum?
Cuckoo!
Day after tomorrow we'll be in Las Vegas.
Happy New Year!
Spray the stuff on your shoes?
That infrared paint isn't ready for the public!
-I can't see a footprint. -Of course you can. Try this.
Nothing. Danny's off his rocker!
Cool it. Put these on. Go ahead, put them on.
Now look.
Wow!
I got an extra can of this jazz. Don't be stingy with it, okay?
-Hey. -What?
Mix this with makeup. It would make for interesting midnights.
I'm hipped.
One, two, three, four. Two, two, three, four. Three, two. . . .
Come on, kids.
Hup, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. One...
Hey, kill it. Go on, Helen. Get in there.
You got a tough job.
Why so many barrels?
When it's à la carte, then we get sensible garbage.
We'll have none of that.
-Sorry. Hi. -Hello, Mr. Skelton.
-You remember me? -I remember what you told me too.
About putting a limit on myself? Don't take that seriously.
You'd break me like a twig if I cashed one of your checks.
Don't pay attention to that. This is all solid flab.
I can't pull a bee's wings. Cash the check.
No use arguing. We won't let you exceed your limit.
Unbelievable. Get a load of this guy.
He acts like we were gonna stick up the joint. We wouldn't.
-Ridiculous. Cash the check. -This gentleman is waiting.
Buddy boy, I'm standing right here like an elm. . .
. . .until you cash that check.
You ought to be more careful. I may win this casino.
The whole joint could be mine.
What cashier's nose would be out of joint? What's up?
Had to send for Wyatt Earp and his fat brother.
It's okay.
That's my old slot-machine arm.
Silver dollars, please.
Coffee, please.
Could you light me up, please?
I had the key made. Be careful with it. Cost two bits.
Somebody should keep an eye on this spending.
-Here's one for the Sahara. -Right.
Looks like you're getting combat fatigue.
You been up on that line a long time.
-Everything all right, Joe? -Like tulips in July, Mac.
You wanna get a split.
-Come on, Josh. -I can if you'll cool it.
Be sure you let go of the ball.
-What'd you find out? -Casinos don't like to be robbed.
That's narrow-minded. The wire-crossing work?
-Technically everything works. -How long will it take to rig them?
Five casinos, 1 5 minutes each. That's 75 minutes.
Traveling time 25 minutes. An hour and 40 minutes.
That's when I'll rig them.
-Can't you preset them so it's ready? -Can't take the chance.
If the cable fails legitimately, those doors spring open.
-Did you pick a tower? -The biggest.
Josh will give you a hand.
What about the Sahara?
One security cop got me bugged.
He sits in the cage. Must have arthritis. He never moves.
A left hook'll keep him that way.
-Sam? -As steady as down-country loving.
Good boy.
Louis, the Desert Inn?
It'll be just as easy as riding a stuffed horse.
-How's that? -It'll be as...
Forget it.
-Jimmy? -Flamingo's all set.
What about the Sands?
Smooth and level.
Nobody carries identification until it's done.
Everybody with an inside job, go back. The rest of us will be outside.
Stand in front of your casinos till I contact you.
What we gonna do? We have all today and tomorrow.
Hey, I got an idea. A therapeutic idea.
Forget it. No, no.
Today and all day tomorrow we rehearse until H hour.
-Transportation? -Have no fear, little Josh is here.
-Let's go. Mushy's up. -You make it.
-I never bowled in my life. -Fake it.
-Do we have time for a show? -What about the Sands lounge?
-Good idea. -That's my lucky spot.
Someone you know?
I recognized somebody from the profession.
Yours or his? Come on.
-Well, well, well. -What are you doing here?
Same thing you are, cheating.
You've got me wrong. I'm here on business.
I expect my party any minute.
I'd like to see her. And I'll bet your wife would too.
You don't understand. I'm all alone.
-Cross my heart. -I hope you die.
Take your hands off me, or I'll call that cop.
Let's not panic.
When you realize how wrong you are. . .
. . .use that.
Hello?
Mrs. Ocean? This is a friend. I'm calling from Las Vegas.
I think you'd be interested to learn what your husband. . .
,,,is up to in Vegas,
I was taught that creatures like you rattled before they struck.
And I didn't hear a thing.
I did you a favor, Sorry I disturbed you,
No, Malicious. I'm not disturbed.
When I learn Danny has an enemy as venomous as you. . .
. . .it just makes me love him more.
Call me anytime. Love to have you waste your money.
Happy burial, dead dog.
-Are you all ready, Pete? -Just a second.
-What time? -One minute, 38 seconds past 1 2.
-It's five after 6. -Right.
One minute and 38 seconds past 1 2:00, big daddy. . .
. . .and then happy New Year!
Happy New Year. Come on, let's go.
-Good evening, Mrs. Restes. -Hello!
-Nice to see you. Happy New Year. -Same to you.
Las Vegas is like Paris. You run into people you know.
-And wish you hadn't. -My sentiments exactly.
Excuse me, honey. I wanna go outside.
I adore running into friends.
-It's certainly our pleasure. -Is Jimmy joining us?
No, he's shivering in Squaw Valley.
-But he's here. -Here, in Vegas?
At the Flamingo. I saw him last night.
Don't tell me he broke something skiing.
Nothing that showed.
Why would he tell me he was going to Squaw...? I'm stupid.
He ran into some jiggly little number who was Vegas-bound.
Jiggly little number isn't the way I'd describe Danny Ocean.
He's more like a well-mannered shark.
Twenty-five dollar chips, please.
Tony! It's me, Steffans. Tony!
Are you nuts? Get away!
-Will you make it? -You'll know.
Okay, I'll see you at the blowoff.
He said it was a lady's drink. I think he meant a lady horse.
He meant one at a time, honey.
Lucky I can hold my liquor.
You can get to the room by yourself?
I got a date in the casino. Your key.
You're wasting your time with that Clyde, honey. He's a loser.
I'm so drunk I couldn't lie down without holding on.
Get her out of here!
Here you are, missy. Happy New Year to you!
I do not know who you are, my good fellow.
Who do I have to be to wish you a happy New Year?
Ricky Nelson.
I used to be Ricky Nelson. I'm Perry Como now.
No, you're not. You moved.
Smart girl. About this night air, let's get in out of it. Come on.
Is it New Year's yet?
Too close for comfort. Come on.
I hate it too. I hate holidays. Do you like holid...?
-Give me a kiss. How about it? -Sound idea.
-I'll be there in a minute. -I'll wait for you.
You know something?
-I think I kiss better when I'm drunk. -Some other time.
Where you going?
After all we've meant to each other, I must leave you.
-Hey now. This is a dirty deal! -Our first quarrel.
I don't fit into your picture?
From here on in you don't, sweetheart.
-Good night. -Good night.
It's okay, man.
It's okay. It so happens I'm very much in demand.
Maestro! Ladies and gentlemen, it's almost midnight.
So pucker up your lips, ladies, 20 seconds to go.
20, 1 9, 1 8.
1 7, 1 6, 1 5. . .
. . . 1 4, 1 3. . .
. . . 1 2, 1 1 . . .
. . .ten, nine. . .
. . .eight, seven, six, five. . .
. . .four, three, two, one.
Happy New Year!
Lights! Lights! Darn that cable.
It's the second time this month.
The lights will be back on any minute.
Once more, George, Keep playing until the lights come on,
Pardon me. Wrong girl.
Douse those lights.
Now sing loud and clear.
Sing louder.
With the music now. When shouldn't it be forgot?
Blow out the candle. Blow!
All right, sing. It's a party. Loud and clear.
Do what he says, Charlie. Trick or treat.
You too, let's make it a duet.
A little louder.
We've been hit.
-We've been tapped. -What?
We've been held up. Robbed.
The sheriff's office. Hurry!
-Sheriff Wimmer? -Sheriff Wimmer speaking.
-Flamingo speaking, We been tapped, -We'll be right over.
The Flamingo. Roll cars 620, 622 and 624.
Roll more. They knocked over the Sands.
Happy New Year!
-How'd it come off? -Like a charm.
Same here. Fantastic.
All cars, cover all entrances and exits.
Sands, Sahara, Flamingo, Desert Inn, Riviera.
Check everyone who leaves.
Did you get a look at them? Any kind?
What? In the dark?
Did you hear anybody say anything?
-He said we should sing, -He said you should sing.
This is Don Murphy speaking for station KLAS-TV in Las Vegas, Nevada.
We're at the Hotel Riviera.
You'll hear some reports. . .
. . .of this robbery from eyewitnesses.
You have something to say?
If you're gonna interview people, pick elderly couples.
The others don't always belong together.
-Don't look now. It's little old me. -How'd your action go?
-I was ashamed to take the money. -Good boy. Get lost now.
305 and 309, reinforce roadblocks extending to Barstow. Acknowledge.
Get a rundown on every train leaving Vegas, east and west.
Things went too easy.
Tony!
Never the luck, never the luck.
-Tony! -Tony!
Okay, folks, get back. Okay.
-Call for an ambulance, quick. -Okay, but this guy's dead.
Tony's just another guy who died in the street.
-Lot of guys die in the street. -Sure.
Happens all the time.
-No sweat. -No sweat.
Yes, I heard you. Check all outgoing flights.
Car 306. 306, come in, please.
I want every piece of luggage examined.
306, proceed with plan 22. Over.
If they don't cooperate, let's find out why.
-I can 't do it, -What do you mean, you can't?
-How'd it go? -Smooth as a peeled egg. You?
Things happen that can break you up.
-Like what? -Tony's dead.
-Bergdorf? -Heart attack, crossing the street.
-Cops got to him. -They'll check up on him.
What are they gonna find? Nothing. Nobody'll ever know.
Yeah, no one but us.
Don't hit me on the head with that. I'll tell the other men.
Then they won't panic. The plan's the same.
The money stays where it is. Nobody checks out.
Go back to your job. I'll contact you later.
He's taking it hard.
Yeah. Long time since he lost a man in combat.
-Somebody stole millions? -Yes, but there's still some left.
Would you move along, please?
The sheriff's office and the police assured us. . .
. . .we'll have a capture by morning.
Thank you very much, sir. And there you have it.
Millions are missing, stolen by several men.
But they're being tracked down as they skulk down dark roads. . .
. . .where the long arm of the law reaches out.
-Happy New Year, officer. -Yeah, say...
What's going on?
Will you get this truck out of here?
I'll be glad to do that there.
Happy New Year!
Oh, my goodness!
Danny.
I'll tell you why we're meeting, but get one point straight.
We're not the sole owners.
We have partners we have to answer to. Right?
-You can say that again. -Mine are coming after me.
Mine are not happy either.
They gave me a free hand to make a deal.
What deal? For what?
To get our money back. Now, how about it?
-You boys empowered to make a deal? -I am.
Good. Duke Santos is coming in to see us.
-Duke Santos? -Just doesn't figure.
If he pulled a robbery, he'd have his lawyers do it.
Yeah, I know the firm.
-Yes? -Mr, Santos,
Send him in, please. I don't know how you fellows feel about it. . .
. . .but I'm glad he's interested.
-Mr. Santos, my name is Strager. -Glad to meet you.
I want you to meet my friends.
Mr. Brice, Mr. Gillette, Mr. Freeman, Mr. McCoy.
-Hi. -Won't you sit down?
We were just saying how happy we are to get your call.
I'll get your money back.
Mr. Santos doesn't make a promise he can't keep.
-No doubt about it. -First time I relaxed.
How much is it going to cost us?
Let's say I wanted a third and. . .
. . .you fellows beat me down to 30 percent.
Okay?
And if he doesn't deliver he gets nothing.
-Naturally. -I'll certainly go for that.
Our insurance won't even pay 20 percent.
Neither will ours. But that's a big finder's fee.
That all depends on what the finder's looking for.
Okay, I'll go along.
-Me too. -So will I.
All right, but how about taking some of it in chips?
We would like a chance to win it back.
Would you now?
Okay, you got it.
For 30 percent of what they took out, heads or tails.
No, thanks, Mr. Santos. I got partners. They wouldn't. . .
. . .want me to make a bet like that.
So what do you do?
-Shut up. And that's what I'm doing. -Good.
I'll expect the cooperation of the local sheriff.
-You'll arrange it for me? -Consider it done.
Mr. Santos. . .
-. . .may I ask a question? -lf it's the right one.
You're not getting involved for the dough.
What's your real reason?
Well, frankly, whoever pulled this job. . .
. . .shouldn't have done it while I was in town. It's embarrassing.
-Call the sheriff for me? -It'll be taken care of.
The report on Bergdorf.
-Who? -The dead man we brought in.
The guy got a Purple Heart.
Sheriff, Mr. Strager on three.
-Yes? -We made a deal with Duke Santos...
-Duke Santos! -We get our money back,
-I'm pleased for you. -He's at the Riviera, Talk to him,
Sure. Of course, I'll talk to him.
Locate the wife. Pump her. She may know something.
I'll be at the Riviera with Mr. Santos.
-Call me if you find out anything. -Okay, skipper.
Come in.
-Hello? -Mr, Ritsik doesn 't answer,
Joe Ritsik don't answer?
Operator, honey, you're wasting my time.
Don't wanna know about guys who don't answer.
Try the Terre Haute card. Manny Ruditski or Willy Henshaw.
He's listed. So is Fred Cusik in Palm Beach.
-Try them all. -I'll do my best,
Thattagirl. Get me some numbers that answer.
Mr. Santos, Sheriff Wimmer.
Nice of you to drop by so soon, sheriff. Sit down.
I guess you understand my position, Mr. Santos.
We're grateful for your work. But don't cut out on your own.
Whatever I get goes straight to you. What's new on your end?
We had a net over the highway minutes after the alarm.
They got out only by seconds.
So it don't count? They get disqualified?
Shows they're a professional outfit.
-Is there another kind? -Look...
Sheriff, don't get your feathers ruffled.
Your sources can check any outfit?
You bet your boots they can!
-Hello? -This is Manny,
-Manny. What'd you hear? -Nothing, not even a smell,
Nothing? Not a smell?
What's this? You keep nosing around till you do get a smell.
You know how it is. You gotta give it a little time.
-Hello. -Sheriff Wimmer,
-Just a second. It's for you, sheriff. -Thanks.
-Hello. -This is Joe,
-I talked to his wife, -Does she know anything?
-She hasn 't seen him, -The whole time he was in prison?
-She's claiming the body? -To take it to,,,,
She can take it to San Francisco.
Turn him over to Cohen's Mortuary. They'll ship him out.
-What was that about? -Guy died last night in front.
Quite a hero. Purple Heart. Served with the 82nd Airborne.
The 82nd Airborne?
Yeah, served in San Quentin too. I gotta get back.
So long, Mr. Santos. Keep in touch.
And is it vice versa, sheriff?
We understand each other, certainly.
So long, sheriff. You'll hear from me.
-Hello. -Mr, Henshaw is expected,
Never mind, operator. I'll call him later.
And don't make any more calls for about an hour.
Mr. Cohen?
I'm Mr. Kelly. My Cohen is my associate. He's occupied.
-May I be of some service? -The sheriff sent over a body?
Yes, a Mr. Bergdorf. Must've been a fine-Iooking fellow in life.
With the compliments of Mr. Strager.
I'm helping to investigate last night's robbery.
A shocking thing.
If somebody shows an interest you should call me right away.
I'm Duke Santos. I'm at the Riviera.
You can tell Mr. Strager he can depend on us.
He said he could, yeah. And, Mr. Kelly, please. . .
. . .not a word about this to anyone?
Not even to Mr. Cohen.
A job this big, and nobody knows who did it?
We're digging, but so far, nothing,
-There ain't a single break? -Nothing,
Okay, Fred. Keep listening.
-Hi, honey. -Hello, darling.
Excuse me, but this is the first opportunity I've had.
Operator, the Flamingo, please.
I had a date with Adele. You must be starved.
I got other problems. I can't have lunch.
I asked friends to join us.
You won't be Ionesome. Make it quick. I got calls coming.
Flamingo? I'd like to speak to Mr. James Foster.
Who did you say?
Jimmy's there. He didn't go to Squaw Valley.
Operator, if his room doesn't answer, have him paged.
Wouldn't you think he'd call? He knows very well I'm here.
Wait'll he hits the crap tables.
He only thinks of me when he needs something.
What does he see in Danny Ocean and those Army cronies?
They always hold meetings.
-I'm paging him, -Yes, I'll wait.
They're meeting? Why'd he say he's going to Squaw Valley?
Adele told me he was here. Ocean is with him.
Heaven knows how many other ex-Army pals.
Foster, Ocean and Bergdorf. All 82nd Airborne.
Maybe it's the anniversary of one of their commando raids.
The Little Scorpions. It's all very mysterious.
What are you doing?
It ain't mysterious. Hello, operator.
-Yes, sir? -Cancel all the calls I put in.
No wonder I couldn't find out nothing. A work of art.
-What are you so excited about? -This.
-The robbery? -Yeah.
You had anything to do with this?
No, I'm clean. But I know who pulled that job.
-You do? -Yeah.
-Shouldn't you tell the police? -Oh, no!
You wanna know why not? Because I love you too much.
May I learn what's so amusing?
Your Jimmy, your innocent.
-I knew he had guts when I met him. -Please, Duke.
This job was cooked up by Jimmy and his soldier pals.
Jimmy has all the money he could spend. Why would he rob anyone?
Hitler had Europe. Why'd he want Russia?
You can't compare Jimmy with him. He fought Hitler.
He and his paratroopers overran Germany.
Last night they overrun Las Vegas.
It's a shame that boy wasn't born poor.
-What a career he could've had. -You're serious.
They hijacked the town.
Jimmy and his paratroopers. This won't take long.
See you at lunch.
-Want some lunch? -Go ahead. I may not eat for weeks.
Hello, Danny. Hey, nice room you got here.
-I don't know your friend. -You don't know me.
Sure I do. I'm a pal of Jimmy Foster's.
I know some of your other buddies too.
Like Tony Bergdorf.
Poor Tony died, you know.
It's too bad. His wife's coming over to claim his body.
Yeah, Tony's going home in a pine box.
It's a beautiful job you boys pulled. A real work of art.
-You a cop? -Me? Duke Santos, a cop?
I only wish I was in on it with you. I envy you, your youth.
You're not getting younger. What do you want?
Pros, I would've put out of business.
But new talent needs encouraging. I want half.
-Half of what? -You tell me. You got the money.
You're talking to a dead phone.
There's a live one at the sheriff's office.
So you are a cop?
I made a deal with the casino owners to get their money back.
You're ready to double-cross them?
They were only gonna pay me 30 percent. You'll give me 50.
-Playing both ends from the middle. -I can't lose.
You've already lost. The money's sent out of town.
If you're here, the money's here.
We couldn't make a deal with you.
-Too many people involved. -Talk to them.
That's gonna take a little time.
I'll give you till tomorrow.
I know you won't try anything cute.
50 percent is better than 1 00 of nothing.
One o'clock tomorrow, here.
Bye-bye.
Hold it.
What's your relationship to Jimmy?
I'm gonna marry his mama.
Jimmy sold us out. Your best friend sold us out.
You believe that?
Want the facts tattooed on your nose?
Now we found out he's turned canary. . .
. . .you gotta stand up for the slob.
-Always on the opposite side. -You jump to conclusions.
What will the others jump to?
Does Jimmy know where we hid the money?
-He does. -Why doesn't he tell Santos. . .
. . .pick it up and split it with him?
-Go ahead. Right on the chin. -Forget about it.
I've been making mistakes myself.
Oh, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy!
I came as quickly as I could. Are you ill?
You fool! You complete utter ass!
-Good, you're not ill. -I could slap you.
Mother's Day? Did I forget?
You dare to be sarcastic after what you've done? No, it's not.
How do you plan to celebrate Mother's Day? Rob Fort Knox?
After stealing all the money in Las Vegas, that's the next step.
Amazed? You probably thought you'd committed the perfect crime.
-You moron, I could die. -Who's been talking to you?
-Duke, he knows all about it. -That's impossible!
-Why would you believe what he says? -Because he's a professional.
Don't try to lie. Your face gives you away.
-As a liar, you're an amateur. -Where's Santos?
He's going to take the money away from them.
Now he's gonna get mixed up in this too.
Oh, Jimmy, how could you treat me this way?
Now's a nice time to tell him.
I apologize. I thought you blew the whistle on us.
But Clarence Darrow here, he proved otherwise.
What do we do now that Santos knows?
Wish I knew. We haven't got much time left.
I got an idea.
I'll paint you a picture on the way out. Come on, Clarence.
What's so funny?
I knew this color would come in handy.
-Oh, Josh. -Yeah?
-How do you get this stuff off? -What I usually...
You can count it in San Francisco.
It's for Tony's widow. It's only 1 0 grand.
Good boy. I should've thought of that myself.
-Operation Pine Box. -Danny? The widow just arrived.
I figure she'll ship the body on the 1 1:40.
It's the only train today. They got time.
You stay with her. We'll phone the others.
-Operator? -Operator, get me Dudley 26969.
-Vince Massler, -Vince, watch the 1 1:40.
Tony may go out on it.
Mr. Santos will get his.
Sorry to keep you. I'm Mr. Cohen.
I came to make arrangements to ship my husband's body.
Yes. Mrs. Bergdorf, may l...?
May I ask, Mrs. Bergdorf, in my professional capacity. . .
. . .are you a woman of means?
Oh, no.
No, my late husband left me $ 1 0,000.
I received it this morning.
I'd like to keep that for my son's education.
I understand.
If I may make a suggestion, Mrs. Bergdorf?
Of course.
The services in Las Vegas are no different from San Francisco.
Your husband was a war hero. And we have the American Legion here.
The legionnaires will be happy to serve as pallbearers.
Why waste money on needless transportation?
-I guess you're right, Mr. Cohen. -Good. Good.
-Danny? -Corneal?
Something's going on, but I don 't know what,
-The box hasn't left? -I don't think it's going to.
-Why not? -A bunch of legionnaires showed up.
They're gonna attend the services.
The widow's gonna plant Tony here in Vegas.
Wait there. I'll round up the boys. We'll be over.
-Who is it? -Kelly of Kelly and Cohen Morticians.
You asked me to call you if something unusual happened.
Bergdorf? Yeah, go ahead.
A dozen men arrived to attend the services. . .
. . .held in our chapel which serves all denominations and faiths.
Skip the commercial, will you?
These men don't look like usual mourners.
There's something else,
I made an unusual discovery in the waiting chapel,
I could call it incredible.
Mr. Santos, I will call it incredible.
-What is it? -A money band, A $ 1 0,000 money band,
Lying by the coffin. It wasn't there last night.
-By the coffin? -Right beside it.
I hardly know what to think.
I do. I'll be right over.
How do you like that? A dead delivery boy!
We are gathered together today to pay tribute. . .
. . .to the memory of Anthony Raymond Bergdorf.
At such a time it is fitting that we recall the psalm of David.
"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.
He leadeth me besides still waters.
He restoreth my soul.
He guideth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. . .
. . .I will fear no evil, for thou art with me.
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies.
Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all. . . . "
-What's that noise? -What's that noise?
"...the Lord forever. "
What's that noise?
The deceased is being cremated.
"Verily, verily, the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.
Earth to earth, ashes to ashes. . .
. . .dust to dust.
In sure and certain hope of the resurrection unto eternal life.
The Lord lift up His face upon you. . .
. . .and give you peace.
This day and always.
Amen. "