1 00:04:23,503 --> 00:04:25,588 All right, Charlie. 2 00:04:25,672 --> 00:04:29,759 - That the joint? Who runs it? - I already told you. 3 00:04:29,968 --> 00:04:32,137 - Refresh my memory. - Spats Colombo. 4 00:04:32,262 --> 00:04:35,598 - What's the password? - "I've come to Grandma's funeral." 5 00:04:35,682 --> 00:04:37,892 - Your admission card. - Thanks, Charlie. 6 00:04:37,976 --> 00:04:41,521 If you want a ringside table, just say you're a pallbearer. 7 00:04:41,646 --> 00:04:43,732 We're all set. Whens the kickoff? 8 00:04:43,815 --> 00:04:46,943 I'd better blow. If Colombo sees me, it's goodbye, Charlie. 9 00:04:47,068 --> 00:04:49,154 Goodbye, Charlie. 10 00:04:50,613 --> 00:04:53,616 Give me five minutes, then hit 'em with everything you got. 11 00:04:53,742 --> 00:04:55,869 You betcha. 12 00:05:10,884 --> 00:05:12,344 Good evening, sir. 13 00:05:12,552 --> 00:05:16,181 - I'm Mr. Mozarella. What can I do for you? - I've come to the old lady's funeral. 14 00:05:16,306 --> 00:05:18,683 I haven't seen you at our services before. 15 00:05:18,808 --> 00:05:21,102 - No, I've been on the wagon. - Please. 16 00:05:21,186 --> 00:05:23,813 Where is the wake? I'm one of the pallbearers. 17 00:05:23,897 --> 00:05:26,941 Show the gentleman into the chapel. Pew number three. 18 00:05:27,025 --> 00:05:29,444 Yes, Mr. Mozarella. This way, sir. 19 00:05:47,587 --> 00:05:50,173 Well, if you gotta go, that's the way to do it. 20 00:05:50,382 --> 00:05:52,592 Follow me, please. 21 00:06:04,979 --> 00:06:06,981 - What'll it be, sir? - Booze. 22 00:06:07,065 --> 00:06:09,359 - Sorry. We only serve coffee. - Coffee? 23 00:06:09,484 --> 00:06:12,404 Scotch coffee, Canadian coffee, sour mash coffee... 24 00:06:12,487 --> 00:06:15,323 Scotch. Make it a demitasse, with soda on the side. 25 00:06:15,407 --> 00:06:19,160 Wait a minute. Haven't you got a pew not so close to the band? 26 00:06:19,285 --> 00:06:21,162 How about that one over there? 27 00:06:21,371 --> 00:06:25,333 Sorry, but that's reserved for members of the immediate family. 28 00:06:35,010 --> 00:06:36,886 Oops. 29 00:06:42,726 --> 00:06:45,770 Hey, I want another cup of coffee. 30 00:06:45,854 --> 00:06:48,565 I want another cup of coffee. 31 00:06:59,409 --> 00:07:01,911 Better bring a check in case the joint is raided. 32 00:07:02,037 --> 00:07:06,291 - Who's gonna raid a funeral? - Some people don't respect the dead. 33 00:07:29,856 --> 00:07:32,359 Say, Joe. Tonight's the night, isn't it? 34 00:07:32,567 --> 00:07:36,029 - I'll say. - No, tonight we get paid. 35 00:07:36,112 --> 00:07:39,783 - Why? - I've got to see a dentist tomorrow. 36 00:07:39,866 --> 00:07:42,911 You wanna blow your first week's pay on your teeth? 37 00:07:42,994 --> 00:07:46,873 Just a filling. Doesn't have to be gold. 38 00:07:46,956 --> 00:07:51,336 How can you be so selfish? We owe rent. We owe $89 to Moe's Delicatessen. 39 00:07:51,544 --> 00:07:55,840 The Chinese laundry is suing us. We owe money to every girl in the line. 40 00:07:55,924 --> 00:08:00,011 You're right. Tomorrow we'll pay everyone something on account. 41 00:08:00,095 --> 00:08:05,308 No. Tomorrow we go to the dog track and bet it all on Greased Lightning. 42 00:08:05,433 --> 00:08:08,144 - You'd bet my money on a dog? - He's a shoo-in. 43 00:08:08,353 --> 00:08:11,523 Max the waiter knows the electrician that wires the rabbit. 44 00:08:11,564 --> 00:08:15,360 - What are you givin' me with a rabbit? - The odds are 10 to 1. 45 00:08:15,568 --> 00:08:19,239 - Suppose he loses. - Why worry? This job'll last a long time. 46 00:08:19,322 --> 00:08:23,410 - Suppose it doesn't. - Jerry boy, why paint everything black? 47 00:08:23,493 --> 00:08:28,081 Suppose you got hit by a truck. Suppose the stock market crashes. 48 00:08:28,206 --> 00:08:31,126 Suppose Mary Pickford divorces Douglas Fairbanks. 49 00:08:31,209 --> 00:08:34,129 Suppose the Dodgers leave Brooklyn. 50 00:08:34,337 --> 00:08:36,339 Suppose Lake Michigan overflows. 51 00:08:36,423 --> 00:08:40,176 Well, don't look now, but the whole town is underwater. 52 00:08:53,106 --> 00:08:54,274 Four, 53 00:08:54,357 --> 00:08:55,734 three, 54 00:08:55,942 --> 00:08:57,277 two, 55 00:08:57,485 --> 00:08:58,653 one. 56 00:09:11,583 --> 00:09:15,128 All right, everybody. This is a raid. 57 00:09:15,211 --> 00:09:18,256 I'm a federal agent. You're all under arrest. 58 00:09:18,757 --> 00:09:21,801 I want another cup of coffee. 59 00:09:33,563 --> 00:09:35,357 All right, Spats. 60 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:38,151 - The services are over. Let's go. - Go where? 61 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:42,322 A country club for retired bootleggers. I'm puttin' you up for membership. 62 00:09:42,530 --> 00:09:45,450 - I don't join nothin'. - Oh, you'll like it there. 63 00:09:45,658 --> 00:09:50,246 I'll get the prison tailor to fit you with a pair of special spats - striped. 64 00:09:50,372 --> 00:09:53,500 Big joke. What's the rap this time? 65 00:09:53,583 --> 00:09:57,754 Embalming people with coffee. 86 proof. 66 00:09:57,962 --> 00:09:59,964 Me? I'm just a customer. 67 00:10:00,048 --> 00:10:05,595 Oh, come on, Spats. We know you own the joint. Mozarella's just frontin' for you. 68 00:10:05,679 --> 00:10:09,974 - Mozarella? Never heard of him. - We got different information. 69 00:10:10,183 --> 00:10:12,977 From who? Toothpick Charlie maybe? 70 00:10:13,186 --> 00:10:15,897 Toothpick Charlie? Never heard of him. 71 00:10:18,108 --> 00:10:20,819 Buttermilk. 72 00:10:21,027 --> 00:10:23,613 Too smart to drink your own stuff, huh? 73 00:10:23,822 --> 00:10:26,741 Come on. On your feet. 74 00:10:26,950 --> 00:10:30,829 - You're wastin' the taxpayers' money. - Call your lawyer if you wanna. 75 00:10:30,912 --> 00:10:33,832 These are my lawyers. All Harvard men. 76 00:10:42,298 --> 00:10:45,010 I wan' another cuppa coffee. 77 00:11:23,381 --> 00:11:26,926 That solves one problem. Now we don't have to worry about who to pay first. 78 00:11:27,177 --> 00:11:29,971 - Quiet. I'm thinking. - The landlady will lock us out. 79 00:11:30,180 --> 00:11:32,807 At Moe's Deli no more knockwurst on credit. 80 00:11:32,891 --> 00:11:36,227 We can't borrow from the girls - they're on the way to jail. 81 00:11:36,436 --> 00:11:39,773 I wonder how much Sam the bookie will give us for our overcoats. 82 00:11:39,898 --> 00:11:44,569 Sam the bookie? Nothin' doin'. You're not puttin' my overcoat on a dog. 83 00:11:44,694 --> 00:11:47,822 - Jerry, I told you, it's a sure thing. - We will freeze. 84 00:11:47,906 --> 00:11:50,325 It is below zero. We'll get pneumonia. 85 00:11:50,533 --> 00:11:54,162 Look, stupid, he's 10-1. Tomorrow we'll have 20 overcoats. 86 00:12:04,506 --> 00:12:06,257 Greased Lightning. 87 00:12:06,383 --> 00:12:10,220 - I oughta have my head examined. - I thought you weren't talkin' to me. 88 00:12:10,428 --> 00:12:13,682 The bull fiddle's dressed warmer than I am. 89 00:12:20,438 --> 00:12:22,232 - Anything today? - Nothing. 90 00:12:22,315 --> 00:12:23,983 Thank you. 91 00:12:26,486 --> 00:12:28,279 - Anything today? - Nothing. 92 00:12:28,488 --> 00:12:30,031 Thank you. 93 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:34,536 I can't go on, Joe. I'm weak from hunger, I got a fever, I got a hole in my shoe... 94 00:12:34,744 --> 00:12:37,455 if you gave me a chance, we could be living like kings. 95 00:12:37,664 --> 00:12:39,749 - How? - There's a dog running in the third. 96 00:12:39,958 --> 00:12:44,421 Galloping Ghost. He's 15-1 and it's his kind of a track. He's a real mudder. 97 00:12:44,546 --> 00:12:47,132 What do you want from me? My head on a plate? 98 00:12:47,340 --> 00:12:50,051 No, your bass. If we hock that and my sax... 99 00:12:50,260 --> 00:12:53,930 Are you crazy? We're up the creek and you wanna hock the paddle. 100 00:12:54,014 --> 00:12:57,142 All right, go ahead and starve. What do I care? Freeze. 101 00:12:57,267 --> 00:12:59,978 - Anything today? - Oh, it's you. 102 00:13:00,061 --> 00:13:02,063 Well, you've got a lot of nerve. 103 00:13:02,272 --> 00:13:04,149 Thank you. 104 00:13:04,357 --> 00:13:06,317 Joe. Come back here. 105 00:13:10,488 --> 00:13:13,950 Nellie, baby, if it's about Saturday night, I can explain. 106 00:13:14,159 --> 00:13:17,370 What a heel. I spend $4 to get my hair marcelled, 107 00:13:17,495 --> 00:13:19,581 I buy me a brand-new negligee, 108 00:13:19,664 --> 00:13:21,750 I bake him a great big pizza pie. 109 00:13:21,958 --> 00:13:24,878 - And where were you? - Where were you? 110 00:13:25,086 --> 00:13:26,254 - With you. - Me? 111 00:13:26,463 --> 00:13:28,340 Remember? You had this bad tooth. 112 00:13:28,548 --> 00:13:30,717 It was impacted. His jaw was swoll out. 113 00:13:30,842 --> 00:13:31,885 It was? 114 00:13:32,093 --> 00:13:34,054 Oh, yeah. 115 00:13:34,262 --> 00:13:37,724 - I took him for a blood transfusion. - We have the same type blood. 116 00:13:37,807 --> 00:13:40,643 - Type O. - Oh? 117 00:13:40,727 --> 00:13:44,814 - I'll make it up to you. - You're makin' it up pretty good so far. 118 00:13:44,898 --> 00:13:49,402 As soon as we get a job, I'll take you to the swellest restaurant in town. 119 00:13:49,486 --> 00:13:53,365 How about it? Has Poliakoff got anything for us? We're desperate. 120 00:13:53,448 --> 00:13:57,202 Well, it just so happens he is looking for a bass. 121 00:13:57,327 --> 00:13:58,995 And a sax. 122 00:13:59,079 --> 00:14:00,663 Right? 123 00:14:00,747 --> 00:14:02,207 Right. 124 00:14:02,332 --> 00:14:05,126 - What's the job? - Three weeks in Florida. 125 00:14:05,335 --> 00:14:09,214 At the Seminole-Ritz in Miami. Transportation and expenses all paid. 126 00:14:09,422 --> 00:14:12,550 Isn't she a bit of terrific? Let's see Poliakoff. 127 00:14:12,634 --> 00:14:16,304 - He's busy. You'll have to wait, boys. - All right, we'll wait. 128 00:14:16,388 --> 00:14:19,015 Look, Gladys, it's three weeks in Florida. 129 00:14:19,099 --> 00:14:21,518 Sweet Sue and her Society Syncopators. 130 00:14:21,601 --> 00:14:24,729 They need a couple of girls on sax and bass. 131 00:14:24,938 --> 00:14:28,692 Whaddaya mean, who is it? It's Poliakoff. I got a job for ya. 132 00:14:28,817 --> 00:14:30,485 Gladys. Are ya there? 133 00:14:30,694 --> 00:14:32,862 Gladys! 134 00:14:33,071 --> 00:14:36,116 Meshugeneh. Played 112 hours at a marathon dance. 135 00:14:36,324 --> 00:14:39,661 - Now she's in bed with nervous collapse. - Tell her to move over. 136 00:14:39,744 --> 00:14:41,329 And Cora Jackson? 137 00:14:41,413 --> 00:14:44,999 Last I heard, she was playin' with the Salvation Army. 138 00:14:45,125 --> 00:14:47,210 Drexel 9044. 139 00:14:47,293 --> 00:14:49,295 Those idiot broads. 140 00:14:49,504 --> 00:14:53,258 Here we are, packed and ready to leave for Miami, and what happens? 141 00:14:53,341 --> 00:14:58,680 The sax runs off with a Bible salesman and the bass gets pregnant. 142 00:14:58,763 --> 00:15:00,765 Bienstock, I oughta fire you. 143 00:15:00,849 --> 00:15:04,102 Me? I'm the manager, not the night watchman. 144 00:15:04,310 --> 00:15:06,896 Hello. Let me talk to Bessie Malone. 145 00:15:07,105 --> 00:15:09,607 What's she doing in Philadelphia? 146 00:15:09,733 --> 00:15:12,110 On the level? 147 00:15:12,318 --> 00:15:15,030 Bessie let her hair grow and is playing with Stokowski. 148 00:15:15,155 --> 00:15:18,908 - Black Bottom Bessie? - Schpielt zich mit der Philharmonic. 149 00:15:19,534 --> 00:15:20,994 How about Rosemary Schultz? 150 00:15:21,077 --> 00:15:23,288 Slashed her wrists when Valentino died. 151 00:15:23,371 --> 00:15:27,125 We might as well do the same if we don't find two dames by tonight. 152 00:15:27,250 --> 00:15:31,629 We don't care where you find them. Just get them on that train by 8 o'clock. 153 00:15:31,838 --> 00:15:35,675 The moment anything turns up, I'll give you a tinkle. 154 00:15:35,884 --> 00:15:38,595 Bye, Sig. I wonder if I've got room for another ulcer. 155 00:15:38,803 --> 00:15:41,014 Nellie, get me long-distance. 156 00:15:41,222 --> 00:15:45,602 - Sig, we wanna talk to you. - About the Florida job. 157 00:15:45,685 --> 00:15:48,104 - Nellie told us about it. - Not too late, are we? 158 00:15:48,313 --> 00:15:50,607 What are ya? Comedians? Get out. 159 00:15:50,815 --> 00:15:53,610 The William Morris Agency in New York. 160 00:15:53,735 --> 00:15:57,489 - You need a bass and a sax? - The instruments are right but you're not. 161 00:15:57,572 --> 00:15:58,948 I wanna speak to Mr. Morris. 162 00:15:59,157 --> 00:16:01,659 - What's wrong with us? - You're the wrong shape. 163 00:16:01,868 --> 00:16:05,914 - What do you want? Hunchbacks? - It's not the backs that worry me. 164 00:16:06,122 --> 00:16:07,499 What kind of a band is it? 165 00:16:07,707 --> 00:16:10,001 - You gotta be under 25. - We could pass for that. 166 00:16:10,085 --> 00:16:11,670 - And blond. - We could dye our hair. 167 00:16:11,878 --> 00:16:13,129 And you gotta be girls. 168 00:16:13,338 --> 00:16:14,464 No, we couldn't. 169 00:16:14,589 --> 00:16:17,717 - Mr. William Morris. - You mean this is a girls' band? 170 00:16:17,801 --> 00:16:21,346 Yeah. Good old Nellie. I could wring her neck. 171 00:16:21,554 --> 00:16:23,848 Let's talk this over. Why couldn't we do it? 172 00:16:24,057 --> 00:16:27,185 When we worked in the gypsy tearoom, we wore gold earrings. 173 00:16:27,394 --> 00:16:30,647 When you booked us with the Hawaiian band, we wore grass skirts. 174 00:16:30,855 --> 00:16:33,983 - What's with him? He drinks? - No, he ain't eatin' so good. 175 00:16:34,067 --> 00:16:36,152 His empty stomach has gone to his head. 176 00:16:36,361 --> 00:16:40,323 Joe, three weeks in Florida. We could borrow clothes from the chorus girls. 177 00:16:40,448 --> 00:16:43,785 - You've flipped your wig. - Now you're talking. 178 00:16:43,868 --> 00:16:46,496 We get second-hand wigs, a little padding. 179 00:16:46,579 --> 00:16:49,082 We call ourselves Josephine and Geraldine. 180 00:16:49,290 --> 00:16:52,544 Josephine and Geraldine... Come on. 181 00:16:52,752 --> 00:16:55,255 If you wanna pick up a little money tonight, 182 00:16:55,338 --> 00:16:59,426 at the University of Illinois they're havin' a St Valentine's dance. 183 00:16:59,509 --> 00:17:01,094 We'll take it. 184 00:17:01,177 --> 00:17:04,014 $6 a man. Be on the campus at Urbana at 8 o'clock. 185 00:17:04,097 --> 00:17:06,808 All the way to Urbana for a one-night stand? 186 00:17:06,933 --> 00:17:10,061 It's $12. We can get one of the overcoats out of hock. 187 00:17:10,145 --> 00:17:13,815 Hello. Mr. Morris? This is Poliakoff in Chicago. 188 00:17:13,898 --> 00:17:16,735 You don't have two girl musicians available, do you? 189 00:17:16,818 --> 00:17:18,403 A sax player and a bass? 190 00:17:18,611 --> 00:17:23,408 - If William Morris doesn't come through... - Come on, Geraldine. 191 00:17:24,451 --> 00:17:27,579 It's 100 miles. It's snowin' outside. How do we get there? 192 00:17:27,662 --> 00:17:29,539 - I'll find something. - Like what? 193 00:17:29,748 --> 00:17:32,167 Don't crowd me. 194 00:17:32,250 --> 00:17:35,795 - How'd it go, girls? - I oughta wring your neck. 195 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:38,631 Please, Jerry. That's no way to talk. 196 00:17:39,341 --> 00:17:41,843 Nellie baby, what are you doin' tonight? 197 00:17:41,968 --> 00:17:45,722 - Tonight? Why? - Cos I've got some plans. 198 00:17:45,805 --> 00:17:49,267 - I'm not doing anything. - Really? 199 00:17:49,476 --> 00:17:53,521 I just thought I'd go home and have some cold pizza. 200 00:17:53,730 --> 00:17:55,732 Then you'll be in all evening? 201 00:17:55,815 --> 00:17:57,609 Yes, Joe. 202 00:17:57,817 --> 00:17:59,903 Good. Then you won't be needing your car. 203 00:17:59,986 --> 00:18:02,113 My car? Why, you... 204 00:18:04,949 --> 00:18:07,660 Isn't he a bit of terrific? 205 00:18:16,836 --> 00:18:20,382 We coulda had three weeks in Florida, all expenses paid. 206 00:18:20,465 --> 00:18:23,176 Lyin' in the sun, palm trees, flyin' fish... 207 00:18:23,301 --> 00:18:25,387 Knock it off, will ya? 208 00:18:28,515 --> 00:18:31,726 Possible straight, possible nothing, and a pair of eights. 209 00:18:34,854 --> 00:18:36,856 All right, drop 'em, you guys. 210 00:18:36,940 --> 00:18:39,234 - Drop what? - We came for a car. 211 00:18:39,442 --> 00:18:41,945 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. Nellie Weinmeyer's car. 212 00:18:45,907 --> 00:18:47,075 Musicians. 213 00:18:47,283 --> 00:18:48,618 Wise guys. 214 00:18:48,827 --> 00:18:51,246 OK, let's go. Aces bet. 215 00:18:51,329 --> 00:18:54,249 It's a '25 Hupmobile, green, coupe... sir. 216 00:18:54,457 --> 00:18:56,751 - It's over here. - Yeah, over here. 217 00:18:56,876 --> 00:19:01,881 - Want some gas? - Yeah, about 40 cents' worth, please. 218 00:19:01,965 --> 00:19:05,427 - Put it on Miss Weinmeyer's bill? - Yeah. Why not? 219 00:19:05,510 --> 00:19:08,138 And while you're at it, fill it up. 220 00:19:17,605 --> 00:19:20,233 All right, everybody. Hands up. 221 00:19:22,402 --> 00:19:24,404 Face the wall. 222 00:19:26,906 --> 00:19:28,992 You too, Toothpick. 223 00:19:29,075 --> 00:19:31,077 Come on. 224 00:19:32,829 --> 00:19:34,914 Come on. 225 00:19:45,550 --> 00:19:49,220 Hey. Join us. 226 00:20:00,357 --> 00:20:02,776 OK, boss. 227 00:20:15,163 --> 00:20:17,665 Hello, Charlie. Long time no see. 228 00:20:17,874 --> 00:20:21,836 - Spats, what are you doin' here? - I just dropped in to pay my respects. 229 00:20:22,045 --> 00:20:24,464 - You don't owe me nothin'. - I wouldn't say that. 230 00:20:24,673 --> 00:20:27,175 You recommended my mortuary to your friends. 231 00:20:27,258 --> 00:20:30,720 - I don't know what you mean. - Now I got all those coffins on my hands. 232 00:20:30,929 --> 00:20:34,474 - I hate to see 'em go to waste. - I had nothin' to do with it. 233 00:20:34,557 --> 00:20:38,645 Too bad, Charlie. You woulda had three eights. 234 00:20:42,691 --> 00:20:45,318 - Goodbye, Charlie. - No, Spats, no. 235 00:20:45,402 --> 00:20:47,487 No, Spats. Please, no. 236 00:20:53,868 --> 00:20:56,246 I think I'm gonna be sick. 237 00:21:01,668 --> 00:21:04,379 All right, come on outta there. 238 00:21:04,587 --> 00:21:06,172 Come on. 239 00:21:07,090 --> 00:21:08,675 Come on. 240 00:21:08,758 --> 00:21:13,471 - We didn't see anything. Did we? - What? No. Not a thing. 241 00:21:13,555 --> 00:21:17,475 Besides, it's none of our business if you guys wanna bump each other off. 242 00:21:18,351 --> 00:21:21,855 Say... Don't I know you two from somewhere? 243 00:21:21,938 --> 00:21:24,649 Oh, no. We're just a couple of musicians. 244 00:21:24,774 --> 00:21:27,485 We came to pick up a car. Nellie Weinmeyer's car. 245 00:21:27,694 --> 00:21:29,654 There's a dance tonight. 246 00:21:29,863 --> 00:21:32,157 - Come on, Jerry. - Wait a minute. 247 00:21:32,365 --> 00:21:36,745 - Where do you think you're goin'? - Urbana. It's about 100 miles from here... 248 00:21:36,953 --> 00:21:38,830 You're not goin' nowhere. 249 00:21:41,332 --> 00:21:44,252 - We're not? - I don't like no witnesses. 250 00:21:44,377 --> 00:21:47,714 - We won't breathe a word. - You won't breathe nothin'. 251 00:21:47,922 --> 00:21:49,883 Not even air. 252 00:22:22,624 --> 00:22:27,128 All right, boys, let's blow out of here. We'll take care of those guys later. 253 00:22:40,892 --> 00:22:42,977 I think they got me. 254 00:22:43,061 --> 00:22:45,271 - They got the bull fiddle. - No blood? 255 00:22:45,355 --> 00:22:48,900 If they catch us, there'll be blood all over. Type O. Come on. 256 00:23:02,247 --> 00:23:04,666 - Where are you running? - As far away as possible. 257 00:23:04,749 --> 00:23:09,462 It's not far enough. Those guys know us. Every hood in Chicago will be after us. 258 00:23:22,892 --> 00:23:25,186 Quick, gimme a nickel. 259 00:23:28,231 --> 00:23:29,899 You're gonna call the police? 260 00:23:29,983 --> 00:23:33,445 We'd never live to testify against Spats Colombo. 261 00:23:33,653 --> 00:23:36,156 We gotta get out of town. We could grow beards. 262 00:23:36,364 --> 00:23:38,867 We will get out of town, but we're gonna shave. 263 00:23:38,950 --> 00:23:42,704 At a time like this? They wanna blast our heads off, and you wanna shave. 264 00:23:42,829 --> 00:23:45,206 - Shave our legs, stupid. - Shave our legs...? 265 00:23:47,083 --> 00:23:49,794 Hello. Mr. Poliakoff? 266 00:23:49,919 --> 00:23:53,548 I understand you're looking for a couple of girl musicians. 267 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:14,319 Florida Limited leaving on track one for Washington, 268 00:24:14,402 --> 00:24:17,739 Charleston, Savannah, Jacksonville and Miami. 269 00:24:17,864 --> 00:24:20,367 All aboard. 270 00:24:28,792 --> 00:24:29,834 What now? 271 00:24:29,959 --> 00:24:32,796 How do they keep their balance in these things? 272 00:24:32,962 --> 00:24:36,883 Must be the way the weight is distributed. Now come on. 273 00:24:36,966 --> 00:24:39,052 It is so draughty. 274 00:24:39,177 --> 00:24:41,262 They must catch cold all the time. 275 00:24:41,346 --> 00:24:44,265 - Quit stalling. We'll miss the train. - I feel naked. 276 00:24:44,474 --> 00:24:48,645 - I feel like everybody's starin' at me. - With those legs? Are you crazy? 277 00:24:58,238 --> 00:25:01,074 It's no use. We're not gonna get away with it, Joe. 278 00:25:01,282 --> 00:25:05,036 My name is Josephine, and this was your idea in the first place. 279 00:25:28,268 --> 00:25:31,521 Look at that. Look how she moves. 280 00:25:31,604 --> 00:25:34,232 That's just like Jell-O on springs. 281 00:25:34,441 --> 00:25:37,652 They must have some sort of built-in motor or something. 282 00:25:37,861 --> 00:25:40,071 I tell ya, it's a whole different sex. 283 00:25:40,155 --> 00:25:42,866 Nobody's asking you to have a baby. 284 00:25:42,991 --> 00:25:46,119 As soon as we're in Florida we'll blow this whole setup. 285 00:25:46,327 --> 00:25:48,079 You will not talk me into... 286 00:25:48,204 --> 00:25:52,042 Extra. Extra. Seven slaughtered in North Side garage. 287 00:25:52,167 --> 00:25:54,669 Fear of bloody aftermath. Extra. Extra. 288 00:25:54,753 --> 00:25:59,466 - You talked me into it. Let's go. - Attagirl, Geraldine. 289 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:02,385 - Rosella. - Fiddle. 290 00:26:02,469 --> 00:26:04,471 - Move along, Dolores. - Trombone. 291 00:26:04,554 --> 00:26:06,973 - Hey, Olga, how's your back? - Trumpet. 292 00:26:09,893 --> 00:26:12,604 - Here we are. - Are you two from the Poliakoff Agency? 293 00:26:12,687 --> 00:26:15,523 - Yes. We're the new girls. - Brand new. 294 00:26:15,607 --> 00:26:19,778 This is our manager, Mr. Bienstock. And I'm Sweet Sue. 295 00:26:20,403 --> 00:26:22,280 My name is Josephine. 296 00:26:22,489 --> 00:26:24,699 I'm Daphne. 297 00:26:25,617 --> 00:26:28,953 Saxophone, bass. Am I glad to see you girls. You saved our lives. 298 00:26:29,079 --> 00:26:30,830 Likewise, I'm sure. 299 00:26:31,039 --> 00:26:33,041 Where did you girls play before? 300 00:26:33,124 --> 00:26:36,378 Here, there and... around, and... 301 00:26:36,586 --> 00:26:40,840 We spent three years at the Sheboygan Conservatory of Music. 302 00:26:41,466 --> 00:26:43,259 All aboard. 303 00:26:43,343 --> 00:26:45,428 You're in berths 7 and 7A. 304 00:26:45,553 --> 00:26:46,596 7 and 7A. 305 00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:48,682 - Thanks ever so. - You're welcome. 306 00:26:48,890 --> 00:26:50,850 Oh. The feeling's mutual. 307 00:26:52,310 --> 00:26:55,230 - Upsy-daisy. - Fresh. 308 00:26:55,355 --> 00:26:58,274 Looks like Poliakoff sent a couple of real ladies. 309 00:26:58,358 --> 00:27:01,695 You'd better tell the other girls to watch their language. 310 00:27:11,204 --> 00:27:12,664 What are you...? 311 00:27:12,747 --> 00:27:14,416 Daphne? 312 00:27:14,624 --> 00:27:17,460 I never did like the name Geraldine. 313 00:27:24,134 --> 00:27:27,345 Hi. I'm the bass fiddle. Just call me Daphne. 314 00:27:29,222 --> 00:27:31,725 My name is Josephine. Sax. 315 00:27:32,559 --> 00:27:36,438 - Welcome to No Man's Land. - You'll be sorry. 316 00:27:36,646 --> 00:27:40,066 - Take off your corsets and spread out. - Oh, I don't wear one myself. 317 00:27:40,275 --> 00:27:42,277 - Don't you bulge? - Bulge? Me? 318 00:27:42,360 --> 00:27:45,905 I have the most divine seamstress. Comes in just once a month. 319 00:27:46,031 --> 00:27:49,617 - She is so inexpensive and she told... - Come on, Daphne. 320 00:27:49,784 --> 00:27:53,163 Say, do you know the one about the girl tuba player 321 00:27:53,246 --> 00:27:56,166 who was stranded on an island with a one-legged jockey? 322 00:27:56,291 --> 00:28:00,337 - No. How does it go? - Cut it out, girls. No rough talk. 323 00:28:00,462 --> 00:28:04,299 They went to a conservatory. 324 00:28:07,761 --> 00:28:10,764 How about that talent, huh? 325 00:28:10,889 --> 00:28:13,683 - Like fallin' into a tub of butter. - Watch it, Daphne. 326 00:28:13,808 --> 00:28:17,979 When I was a kid, Joe, I dreamed I was locked up overnight in a pastry shop. 327 00:28:18,188 --> 00:28:20,273 And there was goodies all around. 328 00:28:20,482 --> 00:28:25,070 Jelly rolls, mocha éclairs and Boston cream pie and cherry tarts... 329 00:28:25,153 --> 00:28:28,615 Listen to me: no butter, no pastry. We're on a diet. 330 00:28:28,698 --> 00:28:30,784 Yeah, sure, Joe. 331 00:28:30,909 --> 00:28:33,620 Not there. That's the emergency brake. 332 00:28:35,372 --> 00:28:37,582 Now you've done it. 333 00:28:37,791 --> 00:28:41,628 - Done what? - You tore off one of my chests. 334 00:28:41,753 --> 00:28:45,090 - You'd better go get it fixed. - You'd better come help me. 335 00:28:53,223 --> 00:28:55,100 This way, Daphne. 336 00:28:55,308 --> 00:28:58,228 Now you tore the other one. 337 00:29:10,407 --> 00:29:12,075 Terribly sorry. 338 00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:14,369 It's OK. I was scared it was Sweet Sue. 339 00:29:14,577 --> 00:29:17,080 - You won't tell anybody, will you? - Tell what? 340 00:29:17,205 --> 00:29:20,542 If they catch me once more, they'll kick me out of the band. 341 00:29:22,293 --> 00:29:24,587 Are you the replacement for the bass and sax? 342 00:29:24,713 --> 00:29:26,798 That's us. And I'm Daphne. 343 00:29:26,881 --> 00:29:28,883 This is Joe... sephine. 344 00:29:29,092 --> 00:29:30,844 Come in. 345 00:29:31,052 --> 00:29:32,846 I'm Sugar Cane. 346 00:29:32,929 --> 00:29:35,974 - Sugar Cane? - I changed it from Sugar Kowalczyk. 347 00:29:36,057 --> 00:29:39,936 - Polish? - Yes. I come from this musical family. 348 00:29:40,020 --> 00:29:42,939 My mother's a piano teacher. My father was a conductor. 349 00:29:43,064 --> 00:29:46,818 - Where did he conduct? - On the Baltimore and Ohio. 350 00:29:49,404 --> 00:29:52,449 I play the ukulele, and I sing, too. 351 00:29:52,657 --> 00:29:56,077 I don't have much of a voice, but this isn't much of a band, either. 352 00:29:56,286 --> 00:29:58,163 I'm only with them cos I'm running away. 353 00:29:58,288 --> 00:30:02,334 - Running away from what? - Oh, don't get me started on that. 354 00:30:02,542 --> 00:30:05,170 Hey, you want some? It's bourbon. 355 00:30:05,253 --> 00:30:08,089 I'll take a rain check. 356 00:30:09,132 --> 00:30:13,303 I don't want you to think I'm a drinker. I can stop if I want to, only I don't want to. 357 00:30:13,386 --> 00:30:16,097 - Especially when I'm blue. - We understand. 358 00:30:16,306 --> 00:30:20,268 All the girls drink. But I'm the one that gets caught. Story of my life. 359 00:30:20,393 --> 00:30:23,521 I always get the fuzzy end of the lollipop. 360 00:30:28,818 --> 00:30:30,487 Are my seams straight? 361 00:30:30,695 --> 00:30:32,781 I'll say. 362 00:30:34,157 --> 00:30:37,369 - See you around, girls. - Bye, Sugar. 363 00:30:37,494 --> 00:30:39,871 We have been playing with the wrong bands. 364 00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:42,791 - Down, Daphne. - See the shape of that liquor cabinet? 365 00:30:42,916 --> 00:30:45,835 Forget it. One false move and we're off the train. 366 00:30:45,919 --> 00:30:49,172 Then it's the police, the papers and the Mob in Chicago. 367 00:30:49,255 --> 00:30:52,509 Boy, would I love to borrow a cup of that Sugar. 368 00:30:52,592 --> 00:30:54,177 Look... 369 00:30:54,386 --> 00:30:58,431 No pastry, no butter - and no Sugar. 370 00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:00,934 You tore 'em again. 371 00:31:39,556 --> 00:31:43,226 Hey, Sheboygan. What was your last job? Playing square dances? 372 00:31:43,435 --> 00:31:45,395 No. Funerals. 373 00:31:45,603 --> 00:31:49,482 Would you mind rejoining the living? Goose it up a little. 374 00:31:49,691 --> 00:31:51,568 We'll try. 375 00:31:51,651 --> 00:31:54,696 How did those holes get there? 376 00:31:54,904 --> 00:31:57,407 Those? 377 00:31:57,490 --> 00:31:59,492 I don't know. 378 00:31:59,701 --> 00:32:01,161 Mice? 379 00:32:01,244 --> 00:32:05,540 All right, girls. Let's take it from the top. And put a little heat under it. 380 00:33:10,897 --> 00:33:12,982 Bienstock! 381 00:33:13,608 --> 00:33:15,193 Yes, Sue? 382 00:33:15,402 --> 00:33:19,364 I thought I made it clear that I don't want any drinking in this outfit. 383 00:33:25,078 --> 00:33:27,580 All right, girls. Who does this belong to? 384 00:33:27,706 --> 00:33:29,791 Come on, now. Speak up. 385 00:33:29,999 --> 00:33:32,502 - Sugar, I warned you... - Please, Mr. Bienstock. 386 00:33:32,711 --> 00:33:35,839 I've had it. In Kansas you smuggled liquor in a shampoo bottle. 387 00:33:36,047 --> 00:33:38,341 Before that you had a pint in your ukelele... 388 00:33:38,425 --> 00:33:40,218 Mr. Bienstock, could I have my flask? 389 00:33:40,301 --> 00:33:43,221 Sure. Pack your things. At the next station... Your flask? 390 00:33:43,430 --> 00:33:47,308 Yes. Just a little bourbon. Must have slipped through. 391 00:33:47,392 --> 00:33:48,643 Give me that. 392 00:33:48,768 --> 00:33:51,688 Didn't you girls say you went to a conservatory? 393 00:33:51,771 --> 00:33:55,942 - Oh, yes. For a whole year. - I thought you said three years. 394 00:33:56,151 --> 00:33:58,862 We got time off for good behaviour. 395 00:33:58,987 --> 00:34:04,909 There are two things I will not put up with during working hours: liquor and men. 396 00:34:05,535 --> 00:34:08,246 - Men? - Don't worry about that. 397 00:34:08,371 --> 00:34:10,457 We wouldn't be caught dead with men. 398 00:34:10,665 --> 00:34:13,877 Rough, hairy beasts with eight hands. 399 00:34:14,002 --> 00:34:17,213 And they all just want one thing from a girl. 400 00:34:17,339 --> 00:34:20,300 I beg your pardon, miss. 401 00:34:20,342 --> 00:34:23,428 All right, girls. From the top again. 402 00:35:02,008 --> 00:35:04,719 - Hortense, dear, good night. - Good night, Daphne. 403 00:35:04,803 --> 00:35:07,222 - Maude, sweet dreams. - Good night, Daphne. 404 00:35:07,305 --> 00:35:09,182 Good night, Gloria. 405 00:35:09,307 --> 00:35:11,893 Dolores, you sleep tight, you hear? 406 00:35:13,061 --> 00:35:16,481 - Nighty-night, Emily. - Toodle-oo. 407 00:35:18,358 --> 00:35:21,069 How about that "toodle-oo". 408 00:35:21,194 --> 00:35:25,365 Steady, boy. Just keep tellin' yourself you're a girl. 409 00:35:25,448 --> 00:35:28,159 - I'm a girl. - You're a girl. 410 00:35:28,368 --> 00:35:31,705 I'm a girl. I'm a girl. 411 00:35:32,038 --> 00:35:33,581 I'm a... 412 00:35:37,335 --> 00:35:40,046 Get a load of that rhythm section. 413 00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:42,257 I'm a girl. 414 00:35:42,465 --> 00:35:44,426 I'm a girl. I'm a girl. 415 00:35:44,634 --> 00:35:46,636 I'm a girl. 416 00:35:48,179 --> 00:35:50,181 Good night, Sugar. 417 00:35:54,019 --> 00:35:56,312 Good night, honey. 418 00:35:57,355 --> 00:36:00,400 Honey? Hey, she called me "honey". 419 00:36:00,483 --> 00:36:02,152 Ooh, honey. 420 00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:05,697 - What are you doin'? - Just makin' sure honey stays in her hive. 421 00:36:05,822 --> 00:36:08,116 There'll be no buzzin' around tonight. 422 00:36:08,199 --> 00:36:11,453 Supposin' I gotta go... like for a drink of water or something. 423 00:36:11,661 --> 00:36:14,039 - Fight it. - Well, suppose I lose. 424 00:36:14,164 --> 00:36:18,001 - Suppose it's an emergency. - Pull the emergency brake. 425 00:36:19,461 --> 00:36:23,548 Hey, Bienstock. You know, there's something funny about those new girls. 426 00:36:23,631 --> 00:36:27,385 - Funny? In what way? - I don't know, but I can feel it right here. 427 00:36:27,594 --> 00:36:31,264 Having an ulcer is like having a burglar alarm go off inside you. 428 00:36:31,473 --> 00:36:34,184 You watch your ulcers, I'll watch those two. 429 00:36:34,267 --> 00:36:38,563 OK, everybody go to bed. Good night, girls. 430 00:36:38,646 --> 00:36:41,483 - Good night, Daphne. - Good night, Josephine. 431 00:36:50,116 --> 00:36:52,952 I'm a girl. I'm a girl. 432 00:36:53,036 --> 00:36:54,829 I wish I were dead. 433 00:36:55,038 --> 00:36:59,000 I'm a girl... I'm a girl... I'm a girl... 434 00:37:41,459 --> 00:37:42,419 Daphne. 435 00:37:53,138 --> 00:37:54,723 Sugar. 436 00:37:54,931 --> 00:37:58,893 I wanted to thank you for covering up for me. You're a real pal. 437 00:38:01,271 --> 00:38:03,273 It's nothing. 438 00:38:03,356 --> 00:38:05,567 I just thought that us girls should stick together. 439 00:38:05,650 --> 00:38:08,695 If it wasn't for you, they'd have kicked me off the train. 440 00:38:08,778 --> 00:38:11,906 I'd be out in the middle of nowhere, sitting on my ukulele. 441 00:38:13,283 --> 00:38:15,160 It's freezing outside. 442 00:38:15,368 --> 00:38:18,288 I mean, when I think about you and your poor ukulele... 443 00:38:18,496 --> 00:38:20,999 if there's ever anything I can do for you... 444 00:38:21,207 --> 00:38:23,710 I can think of a million things. 445 00:38:26,421 --> 00:38:28,798 That's one of 'em. 446 00:38:29,007 --> 00:38:31,509 It's Sweet Sue. 447 00:38:43,188 --> 00:38:45,398 I don't want her to know we're in cahoots. 448 00:38:45,482 --> 00:38:49,152 Oh, well, we won't tell anybody. Not even Josephine. 449 00:38:49,235 --> 00:38:52,364 Maybe I'd better stay here till she goes back to sleep. 450 00:38:52,489 --> 00:38:55,075 You stay here as long as you like. 451 00:38:57,786 --> 00:38:59,871 I'm not crowding you, am I? 452 00:38:59,996 --> 00:39:02,082 No. It's nice and cosy. 453 00:39:03,333 --> 00:39:07,796 When I was a little girl, on cold nights like this, I'd crawl into bed with my sister. 454 00:39:08,004 --> 00:39:11,549 We'd cuddle up under the covers and pretend we were lost in a dark cave 455 00:39:11,758 --> 00:39:14,386 and were trying to find our way out. 456 00:39:14,469 --> 00:39:16,888 Very interesting. 457 00:39:18,223 --> 00:39:21,267 - Anything wrong? - No, no. Not a thing. 458 00:39:23,144 --> 00:39:25,647 You poor thing. You're trembling all over. 459 00:39:25,855 --> 00:39:27,816 That's ridiculous. 460 00:39:28,024 --> 00:39:30,652 - Your head's hot. - That's ridiculous. 461 00:39:31,361 --> 00:39:34,197 - You've got cold feet. - Isn't that ridiculous? 462 00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:36,366 Here, let me warm them up a little. 463 00:39:36,491 --> 00:39:40,453 - There. Isn't that better? - Yes. I'm a girl... I'm a girl... 464 00:39:40,537 --> 00:39:42,831 - What? - I'm a very sick girl. 465 00:39:43,039 --> 00:39:45,875 - I'd better go before I catch something. - Not that sick. 466 00:39:45,959 --> 00:39:47,961 I've got very low resistance. 467 00:39:48,044 --> 00:39:51,923 Sugar, if you feel you're coming down with something, my dear, 468 00:39:52,132 --> 00:39:55,051 the best thing in the world is a shot of whiskey. 469 00:39:55,135 --> 00:39:58,054 - You've got some? - I know where to get it. 470 00:39:58,179 --> 00:39:59,723 Don't move. 471 00:40:00,473 --> 00:40:02,767 - Hold on. - OK. 472 00:40:24,539 --> 00:40:26,541 Up. Up. 473 00:40:32,047 --> 00:40:34,257 - Are you all right? - I'm fine. 474 00:40:34,466 --> 00:40:37,385 - How's the bottle? - Half-full. 475 00:40:38,845 --> 00:40:40,930 - You'd better get some cups. - Cups? 476 00:40:51,358 --> 00:40:55,111 Oh, I tell you, my dear, this is the only way to travel. 477 00:40:55,236 --> 00:40:57,947 Put on the lights. I can't see what I'm doing. 478 00:40:58,156 --> 00:41:00,575 No lights. We don't want them to know. 479 00:41:00,784 --> 00:41:03,286 - But I might spill some. - So spill it. 480 00:41:03,495 --> 00:41:06,414 Spills, thrills, laughs and games. 481 00:41:06,498 --> 00:41:09,209 This may even turn out to be a surprise party. 482 00:41:09,334 --> 00:41:11,711 - What's the surprise? - Not yet. 483 00:41:11,836 --> 00:41:14,339 - When? - Better have a drink first. 484 00:41:14,422 --> 00:41:16,508 That'll put hair on your chest. 485 00:41:16,633 --> 00:41:18,718 No fair guessing. 486 00:41:20,053 --> 00:41:22,055 Is this a private clambake? 487 00:41:22,138 --> 00:41:24,140 It's private. Please, go away. 488 00:41:24,224 --> 00:41:26,518 Dolores, do you still have that vermouth? 489 00:41:26,643 --> 00:41:28,311 - Sure. - Who needs vermouth? 490 00:41:28,395 --> 00:41:31,439 We've got bourbon. We can make Manhattans. 491 00:41:31,523 --> 00:41:33,733 Manhattans? At this time of night? 492 00:41:33,817 --> 00:41:36,444 - Bring the cocktail shaker. - Oh, Sugar. 493 00:41:36,528 --> 00:41:38,613 You're gonna spoil my surprise. 494 00:41:40,281 --> 00:41:42,909 - Hey, honey, what's up? - Party in upper 7. 495 00:41:42,992 --> 00:41:47,080 - I'll get cheese and crackers. - I'll get a shaker, you get a corkscrew. 496 00:41:47,163 --> 00:41:49,457 Hey, Rosella, there's a party in upper 7. 497 00:41:49,582 --> 00:41:51,459 - You got a corkscrew? - Stella has. 498 00:41:51,668 --> 00:41:54,170 Go get some paper cups. 499 00:41:54,254 --> 00:41:56,881 Hey, there's a party in upper 7. 500 00:42:01,761 --> 00:42:05,098 - Here's the vermouth. - This is a private party. Please go away. 501 00:42:05,223 --> 00:42:07,934 I brought some cheese and crackers. 502 00:42:08,018 --> 00:42:11,896 - Will ten cups be enough? - This is a party for two. Ten cups? 503 00:42:13,231 --> 00:42:17,527 - Please, girls. Will you stop this? - Could you use some Southern Comfort? 504 00:42:18,653 --> 00:42:21,990 Girls, you'll wake up the neighbours downstairs. 505 00:42:22,615 --> 00:42:24,617 Watch that corkscrew. 506 00:42:24,826 --> 00:42:27,829 - Here's a cracker. - No crackers in bed. 507 00:42:27,954 --> 00:42:30,457 Will you girls go away and form your own party? 508 00:42:30,540 --> 00:42:32,542 Here's the cocktail shaker. 509 00:42:32,751 --> 00:42:35,962 - I wish we had ice. - Easy on the vermouth. 510 00:42:36,171 --> 00:42:40,258 13 girls in a berth is bad luck. 12 of you will have to get out. 511 00:42:40,342 --> 00:42:43,803 - Pass me the peanut butter. - Anyone for salami? 512 00:42:43,887 --> 00:42:46,306 No more food. I'll have ants in the morning. 513 00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:51,603 Hey. Have you got any maraschino cherries on you? 514 00:42:51,811 --> 00:42:53,813 Never mind. 515 00:42:59,861 --> 00:43:01,821 Maraschino cherries? 516 00:43:10,997 --> 00:43:12,582 What's going on here? 517 00:43:12,665 --> 00:43:16,419 Daphne. Daphne, where are you? 518 00:43:17,045 --> 00:43:20,090 It's not my fault. I didn't invite 'em. 519 00:43:20,173 --> 00:43:22,676 Come on, girls, break it up. 520 00:43:22,801 --> 00:43:26,638 You heard Josephine. Girls. Everybody out. 521 00:43:27,597 --> 00:43:30,100 - Not you, Sugar. - I'm going to get some ice. 522 00:43:30,308 --> 00:43:32,268 Get out. 523 00:43:32,477 --> 00:43:35,188 That's right, Sugar. Now the rest of you. Out. 524 00:43:36,856 --> 00:43:39,567 - Come on in. The water's fine. - Have a Manhattan. 525 00:43:39,693 --> 00:43:43,238 - Pipe down. We'll all be fired. - Sugar. Don't leave me here alone. 526 00:43:43,321 --> 00:43:45,949 Come on, kids. It's two o'clock. 527 00:43:46,032 --> 00:43:49,285 You've had your fun. The party's over. Everybody go home. 528 00:43:50,203 --> 00:43:53,456 - What's this? - Josephine, over here before it melts. 529 00:44:00,213 --> 00:44:02,507 Put it here. 530 00:44:02,632 --> 00:44:05,010 Sugar, you're gonna get into a lot of trouble. 531 00:44:05,218 --> 00:44:06,886 You'd better keep a lookout. 532 00:44:07,012 --> 00:44:09,139 If Bienstock catches you again... 533 00:44:09,180 --> 00:44:11,433 What's the matter with you, anyway? 534 00:44:11,516 --> 00:44:13,518 I'm not very bright, I guess. 535 00:44:13,727 --> 00:44:15,895 I wouldn't say that. Careless, maybe. 536 00:44:16,104 --> 00:44:20,900 No, just dumb. if I had any brains, I wouldn't be with this crummy girls' band. 537 00:44:21,109 --> 00:44:22,902 Well, why'd you take this job? 538 00:44:22,986 --> 00:44:25,822 I used to sing with male bands, but I can't afford it any more. 539 00:44:25,905 --> 00:44:28,408 Have you ever been with a male band? 540 00:44:28,533 --> 00:44:29,993 Who, me? 541 00:44:30,076 --> 00:44:31,661 That's what I'm running away from. 542 00:44:31,870 --> 00:44:35,415 I worked with six in the last two years. Oh, brother. 543 00:44:35,623 --> 00:44:37,500 - Rough? - I'll say. 544 00:44:37,709 --> 00:44:40,628 - You can't trust those guys. - I can't trust myself. 545 00:44:40,712 --> 00:44:43,340 I have this thing about saxophone players. 546 00:44:43,423 --> 00:44:45,425 Especially tenor sax. 547 00:44:47,385 --> 00:44:50,930 - Really? - I don't know why, but they curdle me. 548 00:44:51,139 --> 00:44:54,601 All they have to do is play eight bars of "Come To Me, My Melancholy Baby" 549 00:44:54,809 --> 00:44:58,563 and I get goose-pimply all over, and I come to 'em. 550 00:44:58,646 --> 00:45:00,940 - That so? - Every time. 551 00:45:02,609 --> 00:45:04,819 You know, I play tenor sax. 552 00:45:04,903 --> 00:45:08,865 But you're a girl - thank goodness. That's why I joined this band. 553 00:45:08,990 --> 00:45:13,244 Safety first. Anything to get away from those bums. 554 00:45:13,370 --> 00:45:16,581 You don't know what they're like. You fall for 'em. 555 00:45:16,706 --> 00:45:19,709 You think this is gonna be the biggest thing since the Graf Zeppelin. 556 00:45:19,918 --> 00:45:22,337 The next thing you know, they're borrowing money from you, 557 00:45:22,420 --> 00:45:25,674 spending it on other dames and betting on horses. 558 00:45:25,882 --> 00:45:27,217 You don't say. 559 00:45:27,425 --> 00:45:30,679 Then one morning you wake up, the guy's gone, the sax's gone. 560 00:45:30,887 --> 00:45:35,475 All that's left is a pair of old socks and a tube of toothpaste all squeezed out. 561 00:45:35,684 --> 00:45:40,063 You pull yourself together, you go on to the next job, the next saxophone player. 562 00:45:40,146 --> 00:45:42,357 It's the same thing all over again. 563 00:45:42,565 --> 00:45:46,194 You see what I mean? Not very bright. 564 00:45:46,403 --> 00:45:48,488 Brains aren't everything. 565 00:45:49,239 --> 00:45:52,784 I can tell you one thing. It's not gonna happen to me again - ever. 566 00:45:52,867 --> 00:45:55,912 I'm tired of getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop. 567 00:45:55,995 --> 00:46:00,083 Ice. What's keeping the ice? The natives are getting restless. 568 00:46:00,166 --> 00:46:03,003 - How about a couple of drinks for us? - Sure. 569 00:46:04,337 --> 00:46:07,590 - You know, I'm gonna be 25 in June. - You are? 570 00:46:07,674 --> 00:46:10,385 That's a quarter of a century. Makes a girl think. 571 00:46:10,510 --> 00:46:12,178 - About what? - The future. 572 00:46:12,262 --> 00:46:15,724 You know - like a husband. That's why I'm glad we're going to Florida. 573 00:46:15,932 --> 00:46:19,144 - What's in Florida? - Millionaires. Flocks of them. 574 00:46:19,269 --> 00:46:21,646 They all go south for the winter, like birds. 575 00:46:21,855 --> 00:46:25,108 - Gonna catch yourself a rich bird? - I don't care how rich he is. 576 00:46:25,191 --> 00:46:29,362 As long as he has a yacht, a private rail road car and his own toothpaste. 577 00:46:29,487 --> 00:46:32,615 - You're entitled. - Maybe you'll meet one too, Josephine. 578 00:46:32,699 --> 00:46:36,578 With money like Rockefeller and shoulders like Johnny Weissmuller. 579 00:46:36,661 --> 00:46:39,372 - I want mine to wear glasses. - Glasses? 580 00:46:39,497 --> 00:46:43,460 Men who wear glasses are so much more gentle and sweet and helpless. 581 00:46:43,543 --> 00:46:46,796 - Haven't you ever noticed it? - Yeah, now that you mention. 582 00:46:47,005 --> 00:46:49,591 They get those weak eyes from reading. 583 00:46:49,799 --> 00:46:54,304 Those long, tiny little columns in The Wall Street Journal. 584 00:46:55,013 --> 00:46:58,141 That bass fiddle, she sure knows how to throw a party. 585 00:46:58,266 --> 00:47:01,186 Hot-diggety-dog. 586 00:47:01,269 --> 00:47:03,772 Well, happy days. 587 00:47:03,980 --> 00:47:09,527 I hope this time you wind up with the sweet end of the lollipop. 588 00:47:11,279 --> 00:47:13,365 So the one-legged jockey said... 589 00:47:13,490 --> 00:47:15,575 What did he say? 590 00:47:15,658 --> 00:47:21,289 So the one-legged jockey said: "Don't worry about me, baby. I ride side-saddle." 591 00:47:28,213 --> 00:47:30,840 I'm terribly sorry. I seem to have hiccups. 592 00:47:30,924 --> 00:47:33,343 Hey, let's rub some ice on her neck. 593 00:47:33,426 --> 00:47:35,512 I think... Ow. You dropped it. 594 00:47:35,637 --> 00:47:37,305 Oh, that's cold. 595 00:47:37,514 --> 00:47:41,142 - Oh, no, please. Don't do that. - She's ticklish. 596 00:47:44,688 --> 00:47:47,399 Help. Please. Help. Help. 597 00:47:47,524 --> 00:47:48,858 Josephine. 598 00:47:48,983 --> 00:47:52,529 Please stop that. Stop that. 599 00:48:03,164 --> 00:48:05,250 - What happened? - Search me. 600 00:48:05,333 --> 00:48:07,335 I mean, I'll see. 601 00:48:17,846 --> 00:48:20,265 All right, what's goin' on around here? 602 00:48:20,557 --> 00:48:22,350 Bienstock! 603 00:48:23,268 --> 00:48:25,353 Are we in Florida? 604 00:49:10,398 --> 00:49:11,983 Sugar? 605 00:49:12,067 --> 00:49:14,486 Here. I'll carry the instruments. 606 00:49:14,694 --> 00:49:17,072 - Thank you, Daphne. - Thank you, Daphne. 607 00:49:17,197 --> 00:49:19,491 Isn't she a sweetheart? 608 00:49:25,747 --> 00:49:27,707 How do you do? 609 00:49:30,835 --> 00:49:32,087 Zowie! 610 00:49:32,295 --> 00:49:35,757 There they are. More millionaires than you can shake a stick at. 611 00:49:35,965 --> 00:49:37,842 I bet there isn't one under 75. 612 00:49:37,926 --> 00:49:41,262 That's three quarters of a century. Makes a girl think. 613 00:49:41,471 --> 00:49:44,099 Let's hope they brought their grandsons along. 614 00:49:44,182 --> 00:49:45,767 Yes. 615 00:49:54,818 --> 00:49:56,820 Pardon me, miss. 616 00:49:58,571 --> 00:50:00,573 - May I? - Help yourself. 617 00:50:00,782 --> 00:50:03,493 I'm Osgood Fielding the Third. 618 00:50:03,576 --> 00:50:05,662 I'm Cinderella the Second. 619 00:50:05,787 --> 00:50:10,375 If there's one thing I admire, it's a girl with a shapely ankle. 620 00:50:11,084 --> 00:50:13,086 Me, too. Bye-bye. 621 00:50:13,586 --> 00:50:16,715 - Let me carry one of the instruments. - Oh, thank you. 622 00:50:16,923 --> 00:50:19,342 Aren't you a sweetheart. 623 00:50:24,139 --> 00:50:27,350 It certainly is delightful having young blood around here. 624 00:50:27,559 --> 00:50:28,935 Personally, I'm type O. 625 00:50:29,144 --> 00:50:31,730 I've always been fascinated by show business. 626 00:50:31,938 --> 00:50:33,314 Is that so? 627 00:50:33,398 --> 00:50:36,735 As a matter of fact, it's cost my family quite a bit of money. 628 00:50:36,860 --> 00:50:39,654 - Oh, you invest in shows? - Showgirls. 629 00:50:39,863 --> 00:50:42,741 - I've been married seven or eight times. - You're not sure? 630 00:50:42,907 --> 00:50:44,826 Mama is keeping score. 631 00:50:45,035 --> 00:50:47,746 - She's getting annoyed with me. - I wouldn't wonder. 632 00:50:47,954 --> 00:50:51,708 So when George White's Scandals opened, she packed me off to Florida. 633 00:50:51,791 --> 00:50:56,588 She thinks I'm out on my yacht, deep-sea fishing. 634 00:50:57,547 --> 00:51:01,926 Well, pull in your reel, Mr. Fielding. You're barking up the wrong fish. 635 00:51:03,261 --> 00:51:06,306 If I promise not to be a naughty boy, how about dinner? 636 00:51:06,514 --> 00:51:09,517 - I'm sorry. I'll be on the bandstand. - Oh, of course. 637 00:51:09,726 --> 00:51:12,228 - Which instrument do you play? - Bull fiddle. 638 00:51:12,354 --> 00:51:13,813 Oh, fascinating. 639 00:51:13,897 --> 00:51:16,191 Do you use a bow, or do you just pluck it? 640 00:51:17,233 --> 00:51:20,362 Most of the time, I slap it. 641 00:51:20,487 --> 00:51:22,989 You must be quite a girl. 642 00:51:23,073 --> 00:51:24,866 Wanna bet? 643 00:51:25,075 --> 00:51:28,828 My last wife was an acrobatic dancer. Sort of a contortionist. 644 00:51:28,912 --> 00:51:32,374 She could smoke a cigarette while holding it between her toes. 645 00:51:32,457 --> 00:51:33,917 Zowie! 646 00:51:34,042 --> 00:51:36,127 - But Mama broke it up. - Why? 647 00:51:36,211 --> 00:51:38,421 She doesn't approve of girls who smoke. 648 00:51:40,715 --> 00:51:42,801 - Bye-bye, Mr. Fielding. - Bye-bye? 649 00:51:42,884 --> 00:51:45,929 - This is where I get off. - Oh, no. No, no, no. 650 00:51:46,137 --> 00:51:48,098 You don't get off that easy. 651 00:51:48,306 --> 00:51:50,809 All right, driver. Once around the park, slowly. 652 00:51:51,017 --> 00:51:53,436 And keep your eyes on the road. 653 00:52:02,821 --> 00:52:05,740 What kind of a girl do you think I am, Mr. Fielding? 654 00:52:07,200 --> 00:52:10,328 - Oh, please. it won't happen again. - I'll say. 655 00:52:10,537 --> 00:52:13,039 - Please, come back. - I'll walk, thank you. 656 00:52:13,123 --> 00:52:15,208 Please, miss... 657 00:52:17,836 --> 00:52:19,295 Zowie! 658 00:52:19,921 --> 00:52:22,424 All right, girls. Here are your room assignments. 659 00:52:22,632 --> 00:52:25,343 My glasses. Where are my glasses? 660 00:52:26,469 --> 00:52:28,555 Olga and Mary Lou are in 412. 661 00:52:28,763 --> 00:52:32,225 And, Mary Lou, do up your kimono when you ring for room service. 662 00:52:32,308 --> 00:52:34,519 Josephine and Daphne are in 413. 663 00:52:34,602 --> 00:52:37,647 - Dolores and Sugar in 414. - Me and Sugar? 664 00:52:37,856 --> 00:52:40,150 What did you expect? A one-legged jockey? 665 00:52:40,358 --> 00:52:41,901 Rosella and Emily in 415... 666 00:52:42,861 --> 00:52:45,155 - I wish they'd put us in the same room. - So do I. 667 00:52:45,363 --> 00:52:48,908 But don't worry about it, Sugar. We'll see a lot of each other. 668 00:52:50,243 --> 00:52:54,539 414... That's the same room number I had in Cincinnati, 669 00:52:54,748 --> 00:52:56,833 my last time around with a male band. 670 00:52:56,916 --> 00:52:58,793 What a heel he was. 671 00:52:58,918 --> 00:53:02,672 - A saxophone player? - What else? Was I ever crazy about him. 672 00:53:02,756 --> 00:53:05,675 At two in the morning he sent me down for hot dogs and potato salad. 673 00:53:05,884 --> 00:53:08,595 They were out of potato salad, so I brought coleslaw. 674 00:53:08,720 --> 00:53:12,474 - So he threw it right in my face. - Forget saxophone players. 675 00:53:12,557 --> 00:53:15,268 You're gonna meet a millionaire - a young one. 676 00:53:15,393 --> 00:53:18,813 - What makes you so sure? - My feminine intuition. 677 00:53:27,072 --> 00:53:29,032 Oh. Are these your bags? 678 00:53:30,492 --> 00:53:33,411 - And that one, too. - OK, doll. 679 00:53:34,454 --> 00:53:37,999 - I suppose you want a tip. - Forget it, doll. 680 00:53:38,124 --> 00:53:43,213 After all, you work here and I work here. It's nice to have you with the organisation. 681 00:53:43,421 --> 00:53:45,632 - Bye-bye. - Listen, doll. 682 00:53:45,840 --> 00:53:48,635 - What time do you get off tonight? - Why? 683 00:53:48,760 --> 00:53:51,971 I'm workin' the night shift and I got a bottle of gin stashed away. 684 00:53:52,180 --> 00:53:55,642 - When there's a lull... - Aren't you a little young for that, sonny? 685 00:53:55,725 --> 00:53:59,646 Oh, you wanna see my driver's license? 686 00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:05,485 - Get lost, will you? - That's the way I like 'em - big and sassy. 687 00:54:06,319 --> 00:54:08,613 Oh, and... get rid of your roommate. 688 00:54:23,712 --> 00:54:25,505 - Dirty old man. - What happened? 689 00:54:25,588 --> 00:54:28,842 - I got pinched in the elevator. - See how the other half lives? 690 00:54:29,050 --> 00:54:30,510 I'm not even pretty. 691 00:54:30,593 --> 00:54:34,889 They don't care. You're wearing a skirt. It's like waving a red flag to a bull. 692 00:54:34,973 --> 00:54:37,809 I'm sick of being the flag. I wanna be a bull again. 693 00:54:37,892 --> 00:54:39,894 - Let's blow. - Blow where? 694 00:54:40,103 --> 00:54:43,440 You promised me that the minute we hit Florida we'd beat it. 695 00:54:43,523 --> 00:54:47,193 - How can we? We're broke. - We can find another band. A male band. 696 00:54:47,402 --> 00:54:52,615 Spats Colombo is looking for us in every male band in the country. 697 00:54:52,699 --> 00:54:56,036 - It's humiliating. - So you got pinched. So what? 698 00:54:56,244 --> 00:54:58,955 Would you rather be picking lead out of your navel? 699 00:54:59,080 --> 00:55:01,041 But how long can we keep this up? 700 00:55:01,166 --> 00:55:03,668 What's the beef? We're sittin' pretty. 701 00:55:03,877 --> 00:55:07,297 Look. We get room and board. We're getting paid every week. Look. 702 00:55:07,422 --> 00:55:09,716 Look at the palm trees, flying fish... 703 00:55:09,924 --> 00:55:12,093 What are you givin' me with flyin' fish? 704 00:55:12,218 --> 00:55:14,721 I know why you wanna stay. You're after Sugar. 705 00:55:14,804 --> 00:55:17,724 - Me, after Sugar? - I saw the both of you in that bus. 706 00:55:17,849 --> 00:55:21,811 All lovey-dovey and whisperin' and borrowin' each other's lipstick. 707 00:55:21,895 --> 00:55:24,522 - What are you saying? Me and Sugar? - You and Sugar. 708 00:55:24,731 --> 00:55:28,360 - We're just like sisters. - Well, I'm your fairy godmother. 709 00:55:28,485 --> 00:55:31,071 And I'm gonna keep an eye on you. 710 00:55:32,030 --> 00:55:34,407 Are you decent? 711 00:55:39,120 --> 00:55:41,081 Come in. 712 00:55:41,831 --> 00:55:44,959 You girls seen a brown bag with a white stripe and my initials? 713 00:55:45,043 --> 00:55:46,711 It has all my resort clothes. 714 00:55:46,836 --> 00:55:49,339 - No, we haven't. - I can't understand it. 715 00:55:49,422 --> 00:55:52,133 First my glasses disappear, then one of my suitcases. 716 00:55:52,258 --> 00:55:54,219 - Where's my ukulele? - Now a ukulele. 717 00:55:54,344 --> 00:55:58,932 - There must be a sneak thief around here. - Oh. Here it is. Hi, Sug. 718 00:55:59,015 --> 00:56:02,894 - We're going for a swim. Coming? - A swim. Oh, you betcha. 719 00:56:03,103 --> 00:56:05,814 You haven't got a bathing suit. 720 00:56:05,897 --> 00:56:07,774 I don't have one either. 721 00:56:07,982 --> 00:56:11,861 - She doesn't have one either. You don't? - We can rent some at the bathhouse. 722 00:56:11,945 --> 00:56:15,490 - How about you, Josephine? - I think I'll soak in a hot tub. 723 00:56:15,615 --> 00:56:19,786 - On a day like this? It's lovely out. - Yeah, well, let her soak. Come on. 724 00:56:19,869 --> 00:56:23,206 - Don't get burned, Daphne. - Oh, I've got suntan lotion. 725 00:56:23,331 --> 00:56:28,753 See? She'll rub it on me, I'll rub it on her, we'll rub it on each other. Bye-bye. 726 00:57:30,607 --> 00:57:34,694 Daphne. Cut it out. What do you think you're doing? 727 00:57:34,903 --> 00:57:37,822 Just a little trick I picked up in the elevator. 728 00:57:37,906 --> 00:57:41,034 Ooh, look out. Here comes a big one. 729 00:58:11,272 --> 00:58:14,317 Daphne. I had no idea you were such a big girl. 730 00:58:14,401 --> 00:58:17,112 You should've seen me before I went on a diet. 731 00:58:17,320 --> 00:58:19,322 I mean your shoulders and your arms. 732 00:58:19,531 --> 00:58:21,700 It's carrying that bull fiddle around. 733 00:58:21,908 --> 00:58:24,327 - There's one thing I envy you for. - What's that? 734 00:58:24,536 --> 00:58:26,496 You're so flat-chested. 735 00:58:26,705 --> 00:58:29,541 Clothes hang better on you than they do on me. 736 00:58:29,624 --> 00:58:31,626 Watch out, Daphne. 737 00:58:31,835 --> 00:58:34,337 Sugar, come on. Let's play ball. 738 00:58:35,797 --> 00:58:37,549 Junior, time for your nap. 739 00:58:37,757 --> 00:58:39,968 No. I wanna play. 740 00:58:40,176 --> 00:58:42,345 You heard your mother, Junior. Scram! 741 00:58:42,554 --> 00:58:45,265 This beach ain't big enough for the both of us. 742 00:58:45,390 --> 00:58:47,559 Mommy! 743 00:58:47,767 --> 00:58:49,019 Here we go. 744 00:58:49,144 --> 00:58:52,147 I like coffee, I like tea. 745 00:58:52,355 --> 00:58:56,026 How many boys are stuck on me? 746 00:58:56,526 --> 00:58:59,362 One, two, three, 747 00:58:59,571 --> 00:59:02,782 four, five, six, seven... 748 00:59:09,039 --> 00:59:11,750 I'm terribly sorry. You're not hurt, are you? 749 00:59:11,875 --> 00:59:14,252 - I don't think so. - I wish you'd make sure. 750 00:59:14,461 --> 00:59:16,463 Because when people find out who I am, 751 00:59:16,671 --> 00:59:21,468 they hire a shyster lawyer and sue me for three quarters of a million dollars. 752 00:59:21,676 --> 00:59:25,096 - I won't sue you, no matter who you are. - Thank you. 753 00:59:27,515 --> 00:59:29,476 - Who are you? - Now, really! 754 00:59:31,895 --> 00:59:33,355 Sugar! 755 00:59:33,855 --> 00:59:35,732 Come on. 756 00:59:35,940 --> 00:59:37,108 Honestly. 757 00:59:38,443 --> 00:59:40,236 Cheerio. 758 00:59:45,116 --> 00:59:48,161 - Haven't I seen you somewhere before? - Not very likely. 759 00:59:48,244 --> 00:59:50,747 - Are you staying at the hotel? - Not at all. 760 00:59:50,955 --> 00:59:52,957 Your face is familiar. 761 00:59:53,041 --> 00:59:55,669 You may have seen it in newspapers or magazines. 762 00:59:55,752 --> 00:59:58,588 - Vanity Fair. - That must be it. 763 00:59:58,672 --> 01:00:02,342 Would you mind moving a little? You're blocking my view. 764 01:00:02,550 --> 01:00:03,593 Of what? 765 01:00:03,802 --> 01:00:07,847 They run up a red-and-white flag on the yacht when it's time for cocktails. 766 01:00:08,056 --> 01:00:10,058 You own a yacht? 767 01:00:10,975 --> 01:00:12,977 Which one is it? The big one? 768 01:00:13,687 --> 01:00:14,729 Certainly not. 769 01:00:14,938 --> 01:00:19,651 With all the world unrest, nobody should have a yacht that sleeps more than 12. 770 01:00:19,734 --> 01:00:21,736 I quite agree. 771 01:00:21,820 --> 01:00:24,030 Tell me, who runs up that flag? 772 01:00:24,114 --> 01:00:26,825 - Your wife? - No, my flag steward. 773 01:00:27,033 --> 01:00:30,161 Who mixes the cocktails? Your wife? 774 01:00:30,286 --> 01:00:32,414 No, my cocktail steward. 775 01:00:32,497 --> 01:00:34,916 Look, if you're interested in whether I am married or not... 776 01:00:35,125 --> 01:00:37,919 - Oh, I'm not interested at all. - Well, I'm not. 777 01:00:38,545 --> 01:00:41,256 That's very interesting. 778 01:00:43,967 --> 01:00:46,803 - How's the stock market? - Up, up, up. 779 01:00:46,886 --> 01:00:49,597 I'll bet while we were talking, you made $100,000? 780 01:00:49,806 --> 01:00:51,808 Could be. You play the market? 781 01:00:51,891 --> 01:00:55,145 - No, the ukulele. And I sing, too. - For your own amusement? 782 01:00:55,353 --> 01:00:57,313 We are appearing at the hotel. 783 01:00:57,439 --> 01:00:59,607 Sweet Sue and her Society Syncopators. 784 01:00:59,733 --> 01:01:03,903 - You're society girls. - Oh, yes, quite. Bryn Mawr, Vassar... 785 01:01:04,112 --> 01:01:06,197 We're just doing this for a lark. 786 01:01:06,823 --> 01:01:10,994 Syncopators. Does that mean you play that very fast music... jazz? 787 01:01:11,077 --> 01:01:13,788 Yeah. Real hot. 788 01:01:13,913 --> 01:01:17,459 I guess some like it hot. I personally prefer classical music. 789 01:01:18,293 --> 01:01:19,210 I do, too. 790 01:01:19,419 --> 01:01:24,549 As a matter of fact, I spent three years at the Sheboygan Conservatory of Music. 791 01:01:24,632 --> 01:01:28,511 Good school. Your family doesn't object to your career? 792 01:01:28,595 --> 01:01:32,057 They do indeed. Daddy threatened to cut me off without a cent. 793 01:01:32,140 --> 01:01:33,933 But I don't care. it was such a bore. 794 01:01:34,017 --> 01:01:36,436 - Coming-out parties. - Inauguration balls. 795 01:01:36,519 --> 01:01:38,521 - Opening at the opera. - Riding to hounds. 796 01:01:38,730 --> 01:01:41,524 And always the same 400. 797 01:01:41,733 --> 01:01:44,444 It's amazing we never ran into each other before. 798 01:01:44,569 --> 01:01:47,572 I'd have remembered anybody as attractive as you. 799 01:01:47,697 --> 01:01:51,451 You're very kind. I'll bet you're also gentle and helpless. 800 01:01:51,534 --> 01:01:52,994 I beg your pardon? 801 01:01:53,119 --> 01:01:55,705 You see, I have a theory about men who wear glasses. 802 01:01:55,914 --> 01:01:59,167 - What theory? - I'll tell you when I know you better. 803 01:01:59,250 --> 01:02:01,961 - What are you doing tonight? - Tonight? 804 01:02:02,087 --> 01:02:05,090 Maybe you could come to the hotel and hear us play. 805 01:02:05,298 --> 01:02:08,134 - I'd like to, but that would be difficult. - Why? 806 01:02:08,218 --> 01:02:11,680 I only come ashore twice a day when the tide goes out. 807 01:02:11,763 --> 01:02:14,599 It's on account of these shells. That's my hobby. 808 01:02:14,808 --> 01:02:17,727 - You collect shells? - So did my father and grandfather. 809 01:02:17,936 --> 01:02:20,438 You might say we had a passion for shells. 810 01:02:20,522 --> 01:02:23,024 That's why we named the oil company after it. 811 01:02:24,609 --> 01:02:29,197 - Shell Oil? - Please, no names. Just call me Junior. 812 01:02:29,406 --> 01:02:31,491 Sugar! 813 01:02:31,574 --> 01:02:33,034 Time to change for dinner. 814 01:02:33,159 --> 01:02:36,496 Run along, Daphne dear. I'll catch up with you later. 815 01:02:47,340 --> 01:02:49,634 What, young lady? What are you staring at? 816 01:02:49,926 --> 01:02:51,594 Happens to me all the time. 817 01:02:51,803 --> 01:02:55,056 I recognised him, too. His picture was in Vanity Fair. 818 01:02:55,140 --> 01:02:58,601 - Would you move along, please? - Yes. You're in his way. 819 01:02:58,685 --> 01:03:01,312 He's waiting for a signal from his yacht. 820 01:03:01,396 --> 01:03:03,273 His yacht? 821 01:03:03,481 --> 01:03:06,943 It sleeps 12. This is my friend Daphne. She's a Vassar girl. 822 01:03:07,569 --> 01:03:08,695 I'm a what? 823 01:03:08,903 --> 01:03:10,905 Or was it Bryn Mawr? 824 01:03:12,032 --> 01:03:15,910 I heard a very sad story about a girl who went to Bryn Mawr. 825 01:03:16,119 --> 01:03:17,787 She squealed on her roommate 826 01:03:17,996 --> 01:03:21,124 and they found her strangled with her own brassiere. 827 01:03:21,207 --> 01:03:26,338 Yes. We have to be very careful whom we pick for a roommate. Hm? 828 01:03:26,421 --> 01:03:28,423 Well, I think I'd better be going. 829 01:03:28,631 --> 01:03:30,717 It was delightful meeting you both. 830 01:03:30,800 --> 01:03:33,928 - You will come and hear us play? - If it's at all possible. 831 01:03:34,054 --> 01:03:36,348 Do come. it'll be such fun. 832 01:03:36,431 --> 01:03:39,476 - And bring your yacht. - Come on, Daphne. 833 01:03:45,523 --> 01:03:49,819 - How about that guy?! - Hands off. I saw him first. 834 01:03:50,028 --> 01:03:54,824 Sugar, a little advice. if I were a girl, and I am, I'd watch my step. 835 01:03:55,033 --> 01:03:57,869 If I'd been watching my step, I never would have met him. 836 01:03:57,952 --> 01:04:01,831 - I can't wait to tell Josephine. - Yeah, Josephine... 837 01:04:01,915 --> 01:04:04,626 I can't wait to see her face. Will she be surprised. 838 01:04:04,834 --> 01:04:07,337 Neither can I. Let's go tell her right now. 839 01:04:07,545 --> 01:04:09,964 - We don't have to run. - Oh yes, we do. 840 01:04:18,515 --> 01:04:20,475 Josephine. Yoo-hoo. 841 01:04:21,518 --> 01:04:24,229 - I guess she's not here. - Isn't that funny. Josie! 842 01:04:24,354 --> 01:04:26,314 I can't imagine where she'd be. 843 01:04:26,523 --> 01:04:28,525 - I'll be back later. - Oh, no. You wait. 844 01:04:28,608 --> 01:04:30,819 I have a feeling she'll show up any minute. 845 01:04:30,902 --> 01:04:35,198 - Believe it or not, Josephine predicted it. - Yes. This is one for Ripley. 846 01:04:35,281 --> 01:04:38,326 - Do you suppose she went shopping? - Shopping. That's it. 847 01:04:38,535 --> 01:04:43,123 Something tells me she's gonna come through that door in a brand-new outfit. 848 01:04:56,344 --> 01:04:59,681 - Josephine. - Oh. I didn't hear you come in. 849 01:05:06,563 --> 01:05:11,276 - Have a good time, girls? - The most wonderful thing happened. 850 01:05:11,484 --> 01:05:13,028 - What? - Guess. 851 01:05:13,236 --> 01:05:17,407 - They repealed Prohibition? - Oh, you can do better than that. 852 01:05:18,033 --> 01:05:20,452 - I met one of them. - One of whom? 853 01:05:20,535 --> 01:05:24,497 Shell Oil Junior. He's got millions, glasses and a yacht. 854 01:05:24,706 --> 01:05:26,082 You don't say. 855 01:05:26,166 --> 01:05:28,043 He's not only got a yacht. He's got a bicycle. 856 01:05:28,251 --> 01:05:30,253 Daphne. 857 01:05:30,337 --> 01:05:32,422 Go on. Tell me all about him. 858 01:05:32,547 --> 01:05:35,675 Well, he's young and he's handsome. He's a bachelor. 859 01:05:35,884 --> 01:05:40,472 He's a real gentleman. You know. Not one of these grabbers. 860 01:05:40,555 --> 01:05:42,974 Maybe you'd better go after him if you don't want to lose him. 861 01:05:43,183 --> 01:05:47,228 I'm not gonna let this one get away. He's so cute. He collects shells. 862 01:05:47,437 --> 01:05:49,856 Shells? Whatever for? 863 01:05:49,939 --> 01:05:53,193 Oh, you know. The old shell game? 864 01:05:53,276 --> 01:05:54,944 Daphne, you're bothering us. 865 01:05:55,070 --> 01:05:57,781 - Anyway, you're gonna meet him tonight. - I am? 866 01:05:57,864 --> 01:06:00,075 He said he'd come to hear us play - maybe. 867 01:06:00,283 --> 01:06:04,746 What do you mean, maybe? I saw the way he looked at you. He'll be there for sure. 868 01:06:04,954 --> 01:06:06,331 I hope so. 869 01:06:06,539 --> 01:06:10,085 What do you think, Josephine? What does your crystal ball say? 870 01:06:10,794 --> 01:06:13,838 Sugar. Is Sugar in here? 871 01:06:13,922 --> 01:06:18,093 Sugar, you got the key? I'm locked out and I'm makin' a puddle in the hall. 872 01:06:18,218 --> 01:06:20,720 See you on the bandstand, girls. 873 01:06:24,474 --> 01:06:28,103 What are you tryin' to do to that girl, puttin' on a millionaire act? 874 01:06:28,311 --> 01:06:32,399 And that phooey accent? Nobody talks like that. 875 01:06:32,482 --> 01:06:34,693 I've seen you pull some low tricks on women. 876 01:06:34,776 --> 01:06:38,655 This is without doubt the trickiest, lowest, meanest... 877 01:06:44,703 --> 01:06:46,996 I'm not afraid of you. 878 01:06:48,748 --> 01:06:50,625 I'm thin, but I'm wiry. 879 01:06:50,834 --> 01:06:54,796 You're gonna get hurt. When I'm aroused, I'm a tiger. 880 01:06:55,005 --> 01:06:59,718 Joe. Don't look at me like that. It was all a joke. I didn't mean any harm. 881 01:06:59,801 --> 01:07:02,971 I'm gonna press the suit myself. Telephone. 882 01:07:03,179 --> 01:07:05,473 Answer the tele... phone. 883 01:07:09,853 --> 01:07:11,438 Hello? 884 01:07:12,689 --> 01:07:14,858 Yes, this is 413. 885 01:07:15,066 --> 01:07:18,528 Ship to shore? All right, I'll take it. 886 01:07:18,611 --> 01:07:21,322 Daphne? It's that naughty boy again. 887 01:07:21,448 --> 01:07:23,742 You know - Osgood? In the elevator? 888 01:07:23,825 --> 01:07:26,536 You slapped my face? 889 01:07:27,787 --> 01:07:30,498 - Who is this? - This is her roommate. 890 01:07:30,707 --> 01:07:32,917 Daphne can't talk right now. Is it urgent? 891 01:07:33,001 --> 01:07:35,628 Well, it is to me. Will you give her a message? 892 01:07:35,712 --> 01:07:40,091 Tell her I'd like her to have supper with me on my yacht after the show tonight. 893 01:07:40,300 --> 01:07:43,428 Got it. Supper, yacht, after the show. I'll tell her. 894 01:07:43,553 --> 01:07:47,182 - Your yacht? - The New Caledonia. That's its name. 895 01:07:47,307 --> 01:07:51,895 The Old Caledonia went down during a wild party off Cape Hatteras. 896 01:07:52,103 --> 01:07:57,192 But tell her not to worry. This'll be a quiet little midnight snack, just the two of us. 897 01:07:58,651 --> 01:08:02,322 Just the two of you? What about the crew? 898 01:08:02,405 --> 01:08:06,493 That's all been taken care of. I'm giving them shore leave. 899 01:08:06,701 --> 01:08:09,079 We'll have cold pheasant with champagne. 900 01:08:09,287 --> 01:08:13,875 I've checked with the coastguard. There's gonna be a full moon tonight. 901 01:08:14,084 --> 01:08:18,380 And tell her I've got a new batch of Rudy Vallee records. 902 01:08:19,714 --> 01:08:23,385 That's good thinking. Daphne's a pushover for him. 903 01:08:23,468 --> 01:08:25,970 Pushover for who? What... 904 01:08:26,096 --> 01:08:28,181 Yes, Mr. Fielding. 905 01:08:28,390 --> 01:08:32,143 You'll pick her up after the show in your motorboat. Goodbye. 906 01:08:32,227 --> 01:08:34,104 What's that you said? 907 01:08:34,229 --> 01:08:38,817 - "Zowie." I'll give her the message. - What message? What motorboat? 908 01:08:38,900 --> 01:08:43,071 You got it made. Fielding wants to have cold pheasant with you on his yacht. 909 01:08:43,279 --> 01:08:46,950 Just the three of you on that great big boat. You, him and Rudy Vallee. 910 01:08:47,033 --> 01:08:49,452 Fat chance. Call him back and say I'm not goin'. 911 01:08:49,661 --> 01:08:51,329 Of course you're not. 912 01:08:51,413 --> 01:08:53,415 I'm going. 913 01:08:54,124 --> 01:08:57,043 You're gonna be on the boat with that dirty old man? 914 01:08:57,168 --> 01:08:59,337 I'm gonna be on the boat with Sugar. 915 01:08:59,546 --> 01:09:02,382 - Where's he gonna be? - He's gonna be ashore with you. 916 01:09:02,465 --> 01:09:04,134 - With me? - That's right. 917 01:09:04,342 --> 01:09:07,178 Oh, no. Not tonight, Josephine. 918 01:10:23,129 --> 01:10:26,257 Daphne, your boyfriend's waving at you. 919 01:10:26,466 --> 01:10:28,426 You can both go take a flyin' jump. 920 01:10:28,635 --> 01:10:31,680 Remember, he's your date for tonight, so smile. 921 01:10:33,223 --> 01:10:37,727 Oh, you can do better than that. Give him the teeth, the whole personality. 922 01:10:47,612 --> 01:10:50,240 Why do I let you talk me into these things? Why? 923 01:10:50,448 --> 01:10:53,159 Because we're pals. The two musketeers. 924 01:10:53,243 --> 01:10:57,122 Don't give me the musketeers. How am I gonna keep him ashore? 925 01:10:57,205 --> 01:11:00,125 Tell him you get seasick. Play miniature golf with him. 926 01:11:00,333 --> 01:11:04,629 Oh, no. I'm not gonna get caught in a miniature sand trap with that guy. 927 01:11:09,300 --> 01:11:11,720 Hi. Which of you dolls is Daphne? 928 01:11:11,803 --> 01:11:13,471 Bull fiddle. 929 01:11:13,596 --> 01:11:15,890 From satchel mouth at table seven. 930 01:11:20,979 --> 01:11:24,649 - This is from me to you, doll. - Beat it, buster. 931 01:11:24,858 --> 01:11:28,403 Never mind leaving your door open. I got a passkey. 932 01:11:34,117 --> 01:11:38,204 - What are you doin' with my flowers? - Borrowing 'em. You'll get 'em back. 933 01:12:07,901 --> 01:12:11,154 I guess he's not gonna show up. It's five minutes to one. 934 01:12:11,237 --> 01:12:14,991 - Do you suppose he forgot? - You know how those millionaires are. 935 01:12:15,200 --> 01:12:16,993 These came for you. 936 01:12:17,202 --> 01:12:18,953 For me? 937 01:12:20,622 --> 01:12:21,998 It's Shell Oil. 938 01:12:22,207 --> 01:12:24,292 - No! - Yes! 939 01:12:24,376 --> 01:12:26,586 He wants to have supper with me on his yacht. 940 01:12:26,795 --> 01:12:28,463 He's picking me up at the pier. 941 01:12:28,672 --> 01:12:30,006 - No! - Yes. 942 01:12:30,215 --> 01:12:32,008 You heard her - yes. 943 01:12:32,092 --> 01:12:36,596 Josephine, just imagine. Me, Sugar Kowalczyk from Sandusky, Ohio, 944 01:12:36,805 --> 01:12:38,556 on a millionaire's yacht. 945 01:12:38,765 --> 01:12:41,393 If my mother could only see me now. 946 01:12:43,561 --> 01:12:46,064 I hope my mother never finds out. 947 01:12:47,524 --> 01:12:50,860 That's it for tonight. This is Sweet Sue saying good night, 948 01:12:50,985 --> 01:12:56,408 reminding all you daddies out there that every girl in my band is a virtuoso. 949 01:12:56,616 --> 01:12:59,202 And I intend to keep it that way. 950 01:13:05,458 --> 01:13:07,544 - Good luck. - Thanks. 951 01:14:37,592 --> 01:14:40,512 But it's such a waste. A full moon, an empty yacht. 952 01:14:40,595 --> 01:14:43,014 - I'll throw up. - Then let's go dancing. 953 01:14:43,098 --> 01:14:45,517 There's a roadhouse down the coast... 954 01:14:49,771 --> 01:14:52,816 Well, I'll be... He does have a bicycle. 955 01:14:52,899 --> 01:14:54,901 Who? 956 01:14:54,984 --> 01:14:56,986 About the roadhouse? 957 01:14:57,070 --> 01:14:59,364 They have a Cuban band that's the berries. 958 01:14:59,489 --> 01:15:03,535 Let's go there, blindfold the orchestra and tango till dawn. 959 01:15:03,660 --> 01:15:05,745 - You know something, Mr. Fielding? - What? 960 01:15:05,829 --> 01:15:07,831 You're dynamite. 961 01:15:08,039 --> 01:15:10,834 You're a pretty hot little firecracker yourself. 962 01:16:03,386 --> 01:16:05,597 Ahoy, there. 963 01:16:06,723 --> 01:16:08,933 Ahoy. 964 01:16:17,067 --> 01:16:19,569 - Been waiting long? - It's not how long you wait. 965 01:16:19,652 --> 01:16:23,615 - It's who you're waiting for. - Thank you. And for the flowers. 966 01:16:23,740 --> 01:16:28,536 I wanted them to fly orchids from our greenhouse, but Long island is fogged in. 967 01:16:28,745 --> 01:16:30,705 It's the thought that counts. 968 01:16:37,921 --> 01:16:39,881 I seem to be out of gas. 969 01:16:40,006 --> 01:16:43,968 It's sort of funny, you being out of gas. I mean, Shell Oil and everything. 970 01:16:44,177 --> 01:16:46,262 Oops. There. 971 01:16:51,267 --> 01:16:53,478 It seems to be stuck in reverse. 972 01:16:54,938 --> 01:16:58,483 I just got this motorboat. It's an an experimental model. 973 01:16:58,608 --> 01:17:00,777 It seems like they're on the wrong track. 974 01:17:00,902 --> 01:17:03,613 Do you mind riding backwards? It may take a little longer. 975 01:17:03,822 --> 01:17:07,158 It's not how long it takes. It's who's taking you. 976 01:17:33,435 --> 01:17:35,520 It looked so small from the beach. 977 01:17:35,603 --> 01:17:38,857 But when you're on it, it's like a cruiser or a destroyer. 978 01:17:39,065 --> 01:17:43,862 It's just regulation-size. We have three. Mother keeps hers in Southampton. 979 01:17:43,945 --> 01:17:47,198 Daddy's is in Venezuela. The company is laying a new pipeline. 980 01:17:47,282 --> 01:17:51,244 My dad's more interested in rail roads. Baltimore and Ohio. 981 01:17:51,453 --> 01:17:53,663 Which is the port and which is the starboard? 982 01:17:53,747 --> 01:17:56,583 That depends on whether you're coming or going. 983 01:17:56,666 --> 01:18:00,754 I mean, normally the aft is on the other side of the stern. 984 01:18:00,837 --> 01:18:05,550 And that's the bridge. So that you can get from one side of the boat to the other. 985 01:18:05,633 --> 01:18:09,387 - Would you like a glass of champagne? - Love it. Which way? 986 01:18:12,223 --> 01:18:16,186 - You have an upstairs and a downstairs. - Yes, the hurricane cellar. 987 01:18:17,937 --> 01:18:22,442 And another nice thing about this yacht - lots of closet space. 988 01:18:22,525 --> 01:18:26,905 Now, let me see. Where do you suppose the steward set it up? 989 01:18:29,741 --> 01:18:31,701 In here. 990 01:18:33,161 --> 01:18:34,746 Of course. How silly of me. 991 01:18:34,829 --> 01:18:38,500 On Thursdays they always serve me in the small salon. 992 01:18:46,925 --> 01:18:50,053 It's exquisite. Like a floating mansion. 993 01:18:50,178 --> 01:18:52,263 It's all right for a bachelor. 994 01:18:53,390 --> 01:18:57,060 - What a beautiful fish. - I caught him off Cape Hatteras. 995 01:18:57,977 --> 01:19:00,063 What is it? 996 01:19:00,188 --> 01:19:03,108 It's a member of the herring family. 997 01:19:03,817 --> 01:19:05,819 A herring? 998 01:19:06,027 --> 01:19:10,615 Isn't it amazing how they get those big fish into those little glass jars? 999 01:19:10,824 --> 01:19:12,992 They shrink when they're marinated. 1000 01:19:13,118 --> 01:19:15,203 - Champagne? - I don't mind if I do. 1001 01:19:15,286 --> 01:19:17,997 Well, down the hatch, as we say at sea. 1002 01:19:18,123 --> 01:19:20,208 Bon voyage. 1003 01:19:24,254 --> 01:19:26,965 - Look at all that silverware. - Trophies. 1004 01:19:27,173 --> 01:19:30,510 You know. Skeet shooting, dog breeding, water polo. 1005 01:19:30,635 --> 01:19:32,721 Isn't water polo terribly dangerous? 1006 01:19:32,929 --> 01:19:35,432 I'll say. I had two ponies drowned under me. 1007 01:19:35,640 --> 01:19:37,600 Where's your shell collection? 1008 01:19:37,809 --> 01:19:40,228 Yes, of course. Where could they have put it? 1009 01:19:40,437 --> 01:19:43,023 You see, on Thursdays I'm sort of lost around here. 1010 01:19:43,231 --> 01:19:46,151 - What's on Thursdays? - It's the crew's night off. 1011 01:19:46,359 --> 01:19:49,612 - You mean we're alone on the boat? - Completely. 1012 01:19:49,696 --> 01:19:53,450 I've never been completely alone with a man in the middle of the night, 1013 01:19:53,658 --> 01:19:56,286 - in the middle of the ocean. - Oh, it's perfectly safe. 1014 01:19:56,369 --> 01:19:59,289 We're anchored. The ship's in shipshape shape. 1015 01:19:59,497 --> 01:20:02,125 The coastguard will call if any icebergs appear. 1016 01:20:02,834 --> 01:20:04,210 It's not the icebergs. 1017 01:20:04,294 --> 01:20:07,630 But certain men would try to take advantage of a situation like this. 1018 01:20:07,797 --> 01:20:11,634 - You're flattering me. - Of course, I'm sure you're a gentleman. 1019 01:20:12,594 --> 01:20:16,348 It's not that. It's just that I'm harmless. 1020 01:20:16,431 --> 01:20:19,142 - Harmless? How? - I don't know how to put it, 1021 01:20:19,351 --> 01:20:21,561 but I've got this thing about girls. 1022 01:20:21,644 --> 01:20:25,190 - What thing? - They just sort of leave me cold. 1023 01:20:25,398 --> 01:20:27,192 You mean, like, frigid? 1024 01:20:27,400 --> 01:20:29,778 Well, it's more like a mental block. 1025 01:20:29,986 --> 01:20:33,448 When I'm with a girl, it does absolutely nothing to me. 1026 01:20:33,531 --> 01:20:38,036 - Have you tried? - Have I. I'm trying all the time. 1027 01:20:44,584 --> 01:20:47,504 See? Nothing. 1028 01:20:47,629 --> 01:20:50,215 - Nothing at all? - Complete washout. 1029 01:20:50,340 --> 01:20:53,551 - That makes me feel just awful. - My dear, it's not your fault. 1030 01:20:53,760 --> 01:20:56,680 Now and then Mother Nature throws somebody a dirty curve. 1031 01:20:56,805 --> 01:20:58,890 Something goes wrong inside. 1032 01:20:58,973 --> 01:21:02,018 - You mean you can't fall in love? - Not any more. 1033 01:21:02,227 --> 01:21:04,938 I was in love once, but I'd rather not talk about it. 1034 01:21:05,146 --> 01:21:08,066 - Would you like a little cold pheasant? - What happened? 1035 01:21:08,274 --> 01:21:11,486 - I don't want to bore you. - You couldn't possibly. 1036 01:21:11,695 --> 01:21:13,697 Well... 1037 01:21:13,780 --> 01:21:15,990 it was my freshman year at Princeton. 1038 01:21:16,199 --> 01:21:18,493 There was this girl. Her name was Nellie. 1039 01:21:18,576 --> 01:21:21,287 Her father was the vice president of Hupmobile. 1040 01:21:21,496 --> 01:21:23,915 She wore glasses, too. 1041 01:21:24,124 --> 01:21:26,626 That summer we were at the Grand Canyon. 1042 01:21:26,710 --> 01:21:29,629 We were on the highest ledge watching the sunset, 1043 01:21:29,754 --> 01:21:32,257 when suddenly we got this impulse to kiss. 1044 01:21:32,340 --> 01:21:35,802 I took off my glasses. She took off her glasses. 1045 01:21:35,885 --> 01:21:37,971 I took a step toward her. 1046 01:21:38,179 --> 01:21:41,099 She took a step toward me. 1047 01:21:41,725 --> 01:21:45,603 Yes. Eight hours later they brought her up by mule. 1048 01:21:45,687 --> 01:21:49,774 I gave her three transfusions. We had the same type blood - type O. 1049 01:21:49,858 --> 01:21:52,777 But it was too late. 1050 01:21:52,902 --> 01:21:54,779 Talk about sad. 1051 01:21:54,863 --> 01:21:56,948 Ever since then, 1052 01:21:57,073 --> 01:22:00,618 numb, no feelings, like my heart was shot full of Novocain. 1053 01:22:00,827 --> 01:22:03,121 You poor, poor boy. 1054 01:22:03,204 --> 01:22:06,124 Yes. All the money in the world, and what good is it? 1055 01:22:06,249 --> 01:22:08,126 Mint sauce or cranberries? 1056 01:22:08,835 --> 01:22:11,963 How can you think about food at a time like this? 1057 01:22:12,088 --> 01:22:14,174 What else is there for me? 1058 01:22:14,257 --> 01:22:17,927 - Is it that hopeless? - My family did everything they could. 1059 01:22:18,011 --> 01:22:20,722 Hired the most beautiful French upstairs maids. 1060 01:22:20,930 --> 01:22:24,059 Got a special tutor to read me books that were banned in Boston. 1061 01:22:24,184 --> 01:22:26,353 Imported a troupe of Balinese dancers 1062 01:22:26,561 --> 01:22:29,814 with those bells on their ankles and long fingernails. 1063 01:22:30,023 --> 01:22:32,317 What a waste of money. 1064 01:22:32,400 --> 01:22:34,819 Have you ever tried American girls? 1065 01:22:34,903 --> 01:22:36,696 Why? 1066 01:22:42,410 --> 01:22:44,496 Was that anything? 1067 01:22:45,538 --> 01:22:47,624 Thanks just the same. 1068 01:22:48,375 --> 01:22:50,669 You should see a doctor - a good doctor. 1069 01:22:50,752 --> 01:22:55,465 I have. I spent six months in Vienna with Professor Freud, flat on my back. 1070 01:22:56,591 --> 01:23:01,304 Then there were the Mayo brothers, injections, hypnosis, mineral baths. 1071 01:23:01,388 --> 01:23:03,890 If I wasn't such a coward, I'd kill myself. 1072 01:23:05,350 --> 01:23:07,352 Don't say that. 1073 01:23:07,560 --> 01:23:10,271 There must be some girl someplace that could... 1074 01:23:10,355 --> 01:23:14,651 if I ever found a girl that could, I'd marry her just like that. 1075 01:23:15,568 --> 01:23:18,488 - Would you do me a favour? - Certainly. What is it? 1076 01:23:18,613 --> 01:23:22,575 I may not be Dr. Freud or a Mayo brother or one of those French upstairs girls, 1077 01:23:22,701 --> 01:23:25,412 but could I take another crack at it? 1078 01:23:26,246 --> 01:23:28,748 All right, if you insist. 1079 01:23:41,678 --> 01:23:45,849 - Anything this time? - I'm afraid not. 1080 01:23:46,057 --> 01:23:49,394 - Terribly sorry. - Would you like some more champagne? 1081 01:23:51,896 --> 01:23:55,650 Maybe if we had some music. How do you dim these lights? 1082 01:23:56,818 --> 01:24:00,447 Look, it's terribly sweet of you to want to help out, but it's no use. 1083 01:24:00,655 --> 01:24:02,866 I think the light switch is over there. 1084 01:24:08,580 --> 01:24:10,665 That's the radio. 1085 01:24:10,790 --> 01:24:14,336 It's like taking someone to a concert when he's tone-deaf. 1086 01:24:50,497 --> 01:24:53,124 You're not giving yourself a chance. 1087 01:24:53,208 --> 01:24:56,044 Don't fight it. 1088 01:24:56,544 --> 01:24:58,630 Relax. 1089 01:25:11,976 --> 01:25:14,187 It's like smoking without inhaling. 1090 01:25:14,396 --> 01:25:16,356 So inhale. 1091 01:25:39,504 --> 01:25:40,880 Daphne, 1092 01:25:40,964 --> 01:25:43,383 - you're leading again. - Sorry. 1093 01:25:57,647 --> 01:25:59,232 Well? 1094 01:26:00,775 --> 01:26:02,861 I'm not quite sure. 1095 01:26:02,986 --> 01:26:05,363 Would you try it again? 1096 01:26:15,582 --> 01:26:18,835 I got a funny sensation in my toes. 1097 01:26:19,753 --> 01:26:22,881 Like someone was barbecuing them over a slow flame. 1098 01:26:24,341 --> 01:26:27,052 Let's throw another log on the fire. 1099 01:26:36,644 --> 01:26:39,314 I think you're on the right track. 1100 01:26:39,981 --> 01:26:43,568 I must be. Your glasses are beginning to steam up. 1101 01:27:08,301 --> 01:27:10,804 I never knew it could be like this. 1102 01:27:12,263 --> 01:27:14,224 Thank you. 1103 01:27:14,432 --> 01:27:17,560 They told me I was kaput, finished, all washed up. 1104 01:27:17,686 --> 01:27:21,439 And here you are, making a chump out of all those experts. 1105 01:27:24,025 --> 01:27:26,444 Mineral baths. Now, really. 1106 01:27:26,528 --> 01:27:29,989 Where did you learn to kiss like that? 1107 01:27:30,073 --> 01:27:33,410 I used to sell kisses for the Milk Fund. 1108 01:27:43,211 --> 01:27:48,216 Tomorrow, remind me to send a cheque for $100,000 to the Milk Fund. 1109 01:28:53,490 --> 01:28:54,949 Whoops. 1110 01:29:22,811 --> 01:29:25,814 - Good night. - Good morning. 1111 01:29:25,939 --> 01:29:28,024 How much do I owe the Milk Fund so far? 1112 01:29:28,233 --> 01:29:30,735 $850,000. 1113 01:29:30,944 --> 01:29:33,530 Let's make it an even million. 1114 01:29:54,175 --> 01:29:56,928 I forgot to give you a receipt. 1115 01:30:38,219 --> 01:30:40,513 Hi, Jerry. Everything under control? 1116 01:30:40,638 --> 01:30:43,350 Have I got things to tell you. 1117 01:30:43,433 --> 01:30:46,895 - What happened? - I'm engaged. 1118 01:30:46,978 --> 01:30:50,440 Congratulations. Who's the lucky girl? 1119 01:30:50,523 --> 01:30:52,192 I am. 1120 01:30:56,488 --> 01:30:58,239 What? 1121 01:30:58,365 --> 01:31:01,701 Osgood proposed to me. We're planning a June wedding. 1122 01:31:04,204 --> 01:31:07,207 What are you talking about? You can't marry Osgood. 1123 01:31:08,375 --> 01:31:12,128 - Do you think he's too old for me? - Jerry, you can't be serious. 1124 01:31:12,212 --> 01:31:14,923 Why not? He keeps marryin' girls all the time. 1125 01:31:16,383 --> 01:31:18,593 But... you're not a girl. You're a guy. 1126 01:31:18,677 --> 01:31:20,679 And why would a guy wanna marry a guy? 1127 01:31:20,887 --> 01:31:22,764 Security. 1128 01:31:23,890 --> 01:31:27,352 - Jerry, lie down. You're not well. - Stop treatin' me like a child. 1129 01:31:27,435 --> 01:31:30,689 - I'm not stupid. I know there's a problem. - I'll say there is. 1130 01:31:30,897 --> 01:31:35,485 His mother. We need her approval. But I'm not worried because I don't smoke. 1131 01:31:38,405 --> 01:31:41,950 - Jerry, there's another problem. - Like what? 1132 01:31:42,033 --> 01:31:45,995 - Like your honeymoon. - We've been discussing that. 1133 01:31:46,204 --> 01:31:50,291 He wants to go to the Riviera, but I kinda lean towards Niagara Falls. 1134 01:31:53,920 --> 01:31:57,173 Jerry, you're outta your mind. You can't get away with this. 1135 01:31:57,382 --> 01:32:01,219 I don't expect it to last. I'll tell him the truth when the time comes. 1136 01:32:01,344 --> 01:32:04,055 - Like when? - Like right after the ceremony. 1137 01:32:04,264 --> 01:32:07,600 Then we get a quick annulment, he makes a nice settlement on me 1138 01:32:07,809 --> 01:32:10,937 and I keep gettin' those alimony cheques every month. 1139 01:32:15,316 --> 01:32:17,402 Jerry, listen to me. 1140 01:32:17,485 --> 01:32:20,822 There are laws, conventions. It's just not been done. 1141 01:32:21,573 --> 01:32:24,701 Joe, this may be my last chance to marry a millionaire. 1142 01:32:24,784 --> 01:32:28,872 Jerry, will you take my advice? Forget about the whole thing, will you? 1143 01:32:28,955 --> 01:32:32,834 Just keep telling yourself you're a boy. 1144 01:32:32,917 --> 01:32:36,171 - I'm a boy. - That's the boy. 1145 01:32:36,254 --> 01:32:39,716 I'm a boy, I'm a boy, I'm a... 1146 01:32:39,924 --> 01:32:43,678 I wish I were dead. I'm a boy. Boy, oh boy, am I a boy. 1147 01:32:43,762 --> 01:32:46,181 What about my engagement present? 1148 01:32:46,264 --> 01:32:49,726 - What engagement present? - Osgood gave me a bracelet. 1149 01:32:51,478 --> 01:32:53,146 Hey, these are real diamonds. 1150 01:32:53,271 --> 01:32:55,982 Of course they're real. You think my fiancé is a bum? 1151 01:32:56,066 --> 01:33:00,653 - I guess I'll have to give it back to him. - Wait a minute, Jerry. Let's not be hasty. 1152 01:33:00,779 --> 01:33:04,324 After all, we don't wanna hurt Osgood's feelings. 1153 01:33:07,327 --> 01:33:09,954 - Just a minute. - It's me. Sugar. 1154 01:33:17,379 --> 01:33:18,213 Come in. 1155 01:33:19,464 --> 01:33:24,052 I thought I heard voices. I had to talk to somebody. I don't feel like going to sleep. 1156 01:33:24,177 --> 01:33:28,014 - What you need is a slug of bourbon. - Oh, no. I'm off that stuff for good. 1157 01:33:28,765 --> 01:33:32,310 - Did you have a nice time? - Nice? 1158 01:33:32,394 --> 01:33:35,522 It was suicidally beautiful. 1159 01:33:35,730 --> 01:33:36,898 Did he get fresh? 1160 01:33:36,981 --> 01:33:40,443 Of course not. As a matter of fact, it was just the other way around. 1161 01:33:40,652 --> 01:33:42,821 - You see, he needs help. - What for? 1162 01:33:43,029 --> 01:33:45,740 Talk about elegant. You should see the yacht. 1163 01:33:45,865 --> 01:33:49,411 Candlelight, mint sauce and cranberries. 1164 01:33:49,911 --> 01:33:52,205 Gee, I wish I'd been there. 1165 01:33:52,330 --> 01:33:54,708 I'm going to see him again tonight - and every night. 1166 01:33:54,916 --> 01:33:56,710 I think he's going to propose. 1167 01:33:56,793 --> 01:33:59,629 - As soon as he gets up his nerve. - That's some nerve. 1168 01:33:59,713 --> 01:34:01,923 Daphne got a proposal tonight. 1169 01:34:02,841 --> 01:34:05,135 - Really? - From a rich millionaire. 1170 01:34:05,343 --> 01:34:07,137 That's wonderful. 1171 01:34:07,345 --> 01:34:09,514 - Poor Josephine. - Me? 1172 01:34:09,639 --> 01:34:11,391 Well, Daphne has a beau, I have a beau... 1173 01:34:11,599 --> 01:34:14,227 if we could only find somebody for you. 1174 01:34:16,604 --> 01:34:18,606 Here I am, doll. 1175 01:34:44,966 --> 01:34:48,303 "Friends of Italian Opera" - that's us. 1176 01:34:48,428 --> 01:34:50,722 Register over there. 1177 01:34:59,481 --> 01:35:03,026 Spats Colombo. Delegate from Chicago. South Side Chapter. 1178 01:35:04,069 --> 01:35:06,154 Thanks. 1179 01:35:06,237 --> 01:35:07,822 Hiya, Spats. 1180 01:35:07,906 --> 01:35:11,034 - We was layin' 8-1 you wouldn't show. - Why wouldn't I? 1181 01:35:11,159 --> 01:35:14,287 We thought you was all broken up about Toothpick Charlie. 1182 01:35:14,496 --> 01:35:18,750 - We all gotta go sometime. - Yeah. You never know who's next. 1183 01:35:18,958 --> 01:35:21,252 OK, Spats. Report to the sergeant at arms. 1184 01:35:21,378 --> 01:35:25,131 - What for? - Orders from Little Bonaparte. 1185 01:35:29,719 --> 01:35:32,639 - All right, Spats, get your hands up. - What's the idea? 1186 01:35:32,847 --> 01:35:35,767 Little Bonaparte don't want no hardware around. 1187 01:35:35,850 --> 01:35:38,061 All right, you're clean. 1188 01:35:38,269 --> 01:35:40,355 You're not. 1189 01:35:50,448 --> 01:35:52,951 It ain't loaded. 1190 01:36:00,875 --> 01:36:03,795 Next. What's in here? 1191 01:36:03,920 --> 01:36:07,340 My golf clubs. Putter, niblick, No.3 iron. 1192 01:36:08,383 --> 01:36:10,802 - What's this? - My mashie. 1193 01:36:15,807 --> 01:36:18,309 See you at the banquet, Spats. 1194 01:36:19,227 --> 01:36:22,480 Where did you pick up that cheap trick? 1195 01:36:22,689 --> 01:36:25,066 Come on, boys. 1196 01:36:25,900 --> 01:36:28,153 Well. Spats Colombo, if I ever saw one. 1197 01:36:28,194 --> 01:36:30,530 Hello, copper. What brings you to Florida? 1198 01:36:30,739 --> 01:36:32,741 I heard you opera-lovers were meetin'. 1199 01:36:32,949 --> 01:36:35,869 Thought I'd come in case anybody decided to sing. 1200 01:36:35,952 --> 01:36:37,203 Big joke. 1201 01:36:37,328 --> 01:36:39,706 Where were you at 3pm on St Valentine's Day? 1202 01:36:39,831 --> 01:36:42,834 - I was at Rigoletto. - What's his first name and address? 1203 01:36:43,043 --> 01:36:45,045 It's an opera, you ignoramus. 1204 01:36:45,128 --> 01:36:48,465 - In the garage on Clark Street? - Clark Street? Never heard of it. 1205 01:36:48,590 --> 01:36:52,135 Ever hear of Deluxe Cleaners on Wabash Avenue? 1206 01:36:52,218 --> 01:36:55,472 The day after the shoot you sent in spats with blood on 'em. 1207 01:36:55,555 --> 01:36:57,349 I cut myself while shaving. 1208 01:36:57,557 --> 01:37:00,268 - You shave with spats on? - I sleep with my spats on. 1209 01:37:00,352 --> 01:37:03,813 Stop kidding. You vulcanised Toothpick Charlie, and we know it. 1210 01:37:03,897 --> 01:37:05,148 You and who else? 1211 01:37:05,357 --> 01:37:09,235 Me and those two witnesses you have been lookin' for all over Chicago. 1212 01:37:09,444 --> 01:37:12,238 Boys, know anything about any garage or witnesses? 1213 01:37:12,364 --> 01:37:15,075 Us? We was with you at Rigoletto's. 1214 01:37:15,158 --> 01:37:17,452 Honest. 1215 01:37:18,912 --> 01:37:23,208 Don't worry, Spats. One of these days we're gonna dig up those two guys. 1216 01:37:23,416 --> 01:37:25,794 That's what you'll have to do - dig 'em up. 1217 01:37:35,512 --> 01:37:39,891 I feel like such a tramp, taking jewellery from a man under false pretences. 1218 01:37:40,100 --> 01:37:43,728 Get it while you're young. Fix your lips if you wanna look nice for Osgood. 1219 01:37:43,853 --> 01:37:46,439 It'll break his heart when he finds out I can't marry him. 1220 01:37:46,648 --> 01:37:49,901 It'll break Sugar's heart when she finds out I'm not a millionaire. 1221 01:37:49,984 --> 01:37:52,487 Can't make an omelette without breakin' an egg. 1222 01:37:52,612 --> 01:37:54,906 - What's with the omelette? - Nag, nag, nag. 1223 01:37:54,989 --> 01:37:59,786 We got a yacht, a bracelet, you've got Osgood, I've got Sugar. We'll be cookin'. 1224 01:38:03,748 --> 01:38:05,834 - Joe! - What? 1225 01:38:07,293 --> 01:38:10,964 Something tells me the omelette is about to hit the fan. 1226 01:38:13,133 --> 01:38:15,218 Come on, Daphne. 1227 01:38:19,514 --> 01:38:21,474 - Going up. - Hold it. 1228 01:38:29,524 --> 01:38:31,401 Three, please. 1229 01:38:42,662 --> 01:38:44,330 I don't mean to be forward, 1230 01:38:44,414 --> 01:38:47,542 but ain't I had the pleasure of meetin' you two broads before? 1231 01:38:47,667 --> 01:38:50,253 - Oh, no. - You must mean two other broads. 1232 01:38:50,462 --> 01:38:53,715 - You ever been in Chicago? - Us? 1233 01:38:53,798 --> 01:38:56,217 We wouldn't be caught dead in Chicago. 1234 01:38:56,426 --> 01:38:57,677 Third floor. 1235 01:38:57,761 --> 01:39:00,889 - What floor are you on, sweetie? - Never you mind. 1236 01:39:02,057 --> 01:39:04,017 Room 413. We'll be in touch. 1237 01:39:04,225 --> 01:39:06,936 Don't call us. We'll call you. 1238 01:39:19,240 --> 01:39:21,242 I tell you, Joe, they're onto us. 1239 01:39:21,451 --> 01:39:24,788 They're gonna line us up against the wall and... 1240 01:39:24,871 --> 01:39:28,124 The cops will find two dead dames and take us to the morgue 1241 01:39:28,208 --> 01:39:30,418 and when they undress us, I'll die of shame. 1242 01:39:30,627 --> 01:39:33,630 - Shut up and keep packing. - Yeah. OK, Joe. 1243 01:39:33,755 --> 01:39:35,924 - Not that, you idiot. - They're from Osgood. 1244 01:39:36,049 --> 01:39:38,218 He wanted me to wear 'em tonight. 1245 01:39:41,971 --> 01:39:45,016 I tell you, I will never find another man who's so good to me. 1246 01:39:45,266 --> 01:39:49,854 Joe, if we get outta this hotel alive, we'll sell this bracelet, take the money, 1247 01:39:49,938 --> 01:39:53,066 grab a boat to South America and hide out in a banana republic. 1248 01:39:53,274 --> 01:39:57,153 I figured if we eat nothing but bananas, we could live there for 50 years. 1249 01:39:57,237 --> 01:39:59,114 If we get outta the hotel alive. 1250 01:39:59,239 --> 01:40:02,158 - Did we forget anything? - Yeah. The shaving stuff. 1251 01:40:02,242 --> 01:40:04,536 - And also Sugar. - Sugar? 1252 01:40:04,744 --> 01:40:06,746 - Give me room 414. - What are you doin'? 1253 01:40:06,830 --> 01:40:09,249 - Making a telephone call. - Who has time? 1254 01:40:09,332 --> 01:40:11,543 We can't walk out on her without a goodbye. 1255 01:40:11,751 --> 01:40:14,671 You usually walk out and leave 'em with a kick in the teeth. 1256 01:40:14,754 --> 01:40:18,216 That's when I was a saxophone player. Now I'm a millionaire. 1257 01:40:18,299 --> 01:40:21,761 Mail her a postcard. Those gorillas may be here any minute. 1258 01:40:21,845 --> 01:40:24,556 Room 414? This is the ship-to-shore operator. 1259 01:40:24,764 --> 01:40:26,349 Ship to shore? 1260 01:40:26,433 --> 01:40:28,852 Hey, Sugar, it's for you. From the yacht. 1261 01:40:33,857 --> 01:40:37,819 Hello, my dearest darling. It's good to hear your voice. 1262 01:40:37,902 --> 01:40:40,321 I may throw up. 1263 01:40:41,865 --> 01:40:45,827 No, I didn't sleep too well, darling. To tell the truth, I never closed an eye. 1264 01:40:46,036 --> 01:40:49,789 I never slept better. I had the most wonderful dream. 1265 01:40:49,998 --> 01:40:52,292 I was still on the yacht and the anchor broke loose. 1266 01:40:52,417 --> 01:40:55,128 We drifted for days and days. 1267 01:40:55,337 --> 01:40:57,088 You were the captain and I was the crew. 1268 01:40:57,213 --> 01:41:02,093 I kept a lookout for icebergs, I sorted your shells and mixed your cocktails, 1269 01:41:02,218 --> 01:41:05,013 and I wiped the steam off your glasses. 1270 01:41:05,138 --> 01:41:09,100 And when I woke up, I wanted to swim right back to you. 1271 01:41:09,934 --> 01:41:11,811 Yes... 1272 01:41:11,895 --> 01:41:14,189 Now, about our date for tonight... 1273 01:41:14,397 --> 01:41:17,233 I'll meet you on the pier again right after the show. 1274 01:41:18,360 --> 01:41:21,404 I'm afraid not. I can't make it tonight. 1275 01:41:23,156 --> 01:41:25,784 Not tomorrow either. I have to leave. 1276 01:41:25,867 --> 01:41:29,621 Something unexpected came up. I'm sailing right away. 1277 01:41:29,829 --> 01:41:31,915 Where to? 1278 01:41:32,123 --> 01:41:34,751 South America? 1279 01:41:35,460 --> 01:41:37,545 That is unexpected. 1280 01:41:38,380 --> 01:41:41,216 You see, we have these oil interests in Venezuela. 1281 01:41:41,299 --> 01:41:45,387 I just got a cable from Dad. The board of directors have decided on a merger. 1282 01:41:45,595 --> 01:41:48,515 A merger? How long will you be gone? 1283 01:41:50,684 --> 01:41:52,560 Quite a while. 1284 01:41:52,769 --> 01:41:55,689 As a matter of fact, I'm not coming back at all. 1285 01:41:55,814 --> 01:41:57,899 You're not? 1286 01:41:58,316 --> 01:42:01,653 Well, it's all rather complicated. What we call high finance. 1287 01:42:01,736 --> 01:42:06,533 It just so happens the president of the Venezuelan oil syndicate has a daughter... 1288 01:42:06,658 --> 01:42:09,994 Oh. That kind of merger. 1289 01:42:10,078 --> 01:42:12,080 What is she like? 1290 01:42:12,163 --> 01:42:14,874 According to our tax adviser, she's only so-so. 1291 01:42:15,083 --> 01:42:16,876 But that's the way the oil gushes. 1292 01:42:16,960 --> 01:42:20,630 A man in my position has a responsibility to the stockholders. 1293 01:42:20,839 --> 01:42:24,384 All those little people who have invested their life savings. 1294 01:42:24,467 --> 01:42:28,346 Of course. I understand. At least, I think I do. 1295 01:42:28,430 --> 01:42:34,394 I knew you would. I only wish there was something I could do for you. 1296 01:42:34,477 --> 01:42:38,023 But you have. You've given me all that inside information. 1297 01:42:38,231 --> 01:42:40,108 Tomorrow I'm gonna call my broker 1298 01:42:40,233 --> 01:42:43,445 and have him buy me 50,000 shares of Venezuelan oil. 1299 01:42:43,653 --> 01:42:45,655 Smart move. 1300 01:42:45,864 --> 01:42:48,783 By the way, did you get my flowers? 1301 01:42:48,867 --> 01:42:51,286 You know, those orchids from my greenhouse? 1302 01:42:51,494 --> 01:42:55,665 The fog finally lifted over Long island and they flew them down this morning. 1303 01:42:55,749 --> 01:42:59,502 That's strange. I sent 'em to your room. 1304 01:43:01,338 --> 01:43:03,631 They should have been delivered by now. 1305 01:43:07,385 --> 01:43:10,930 Hey, Dolores, will you see if there's any flowers outside? 1306 01:43:16,853 --> 01:43:19,689 Yes, they're here. White orchids. 1307 01:43:19,773 --> 01:43:22,817 I haven't had white orchids since I was a debutante. 1308 01:43:24,778 --> 01:43:26,780 What's this? 1309 01:43:27,906 --> 01:43:29,366 What's what? 1310 01:43:29,574 --> 01:43:32,202 Oh, that. Just a little going-away present. 1311 01:43:33,036 --> 01:43:35,955 Real diamonds. 1312 01:43:36,039 --> 01:43:40,543 They must be worth their weight in gold. Are you always this generous? 1313 01:43:42,003 --> 01:43:43,463 Not always. 1314 01:43:43,672 --> 01:43:46,591 I wanted you to know how grateful I am for what you did for me. 1315 01:43:46,675 --> 01:43:50,011 I didn't do anything. it just happened. 1316 01:43:52,722 --> 01:43:55,558 The navigator just came in. We're ready to cast off. 1317 01:43:55,767 --> 01:43:59,104 Well, anchors aweigh, and have a bon voyage. 1318 01:43:59,187 --> 01:44:01,606 If you need an orchestra to play at your wedding, 1319 01:44:01,815 --> 01:44:03,775 we'll be through here in a couple of weeks. 1320 01:44:03,900 --> 01:44:06,403 Goodbye, my darling. 1321 01:44:06,486 --> 01:44:09,948 I don't know about the captain but the navigator's gettin' his tail outta here. 1322 01:44:10,031 --> 01:44:13,284 - Yeah, let's shove off. - Wait a minute. My bracelet. 1323 01:44:15,787 --> 01:44:17,539 What happened to my bracelet? 1324 01:44:17,664 --> 01:44:21,710 - Your bracelet? It's ours. - All right. What happened to our bracelet? 1325 01:44:21,918 --> 01:44:26,214 - We did the right thing with it. - You're not pullin' one of your old tricks. 1326 01:44:26,297 --> 01:44:28,717 No tricks, no mirrors, nothing up my sleeve. 1327 01:44:28,800 --> 01:44:31,428 It's on the level this time. 1328 01:44:37,475 --> 01:44:39,561 Where's that bourbon? 1329 01:44:45,692 --> 01:44:50,280 - What's the matter, Sugar? - I don't know. All of a sudden I'm thirsty. 1330 01:44:51,448 --> 01:44:53,324 How did you get that bracelet? 1331 01:44:53,408 --> 01:44:55,285 - You like it? - I always did. 1332 01:44:55,493 --> 01:45:00,290 Junior gave it to me. He's gone to South America to marry another girl. 1333 01:45:00,415 --> 01:45:03,543 - That's what you call high finance. - That's what I call a louse. 1334 01:45:03,752 --> 01:45:07,297 If I were you, I'd take that bracelet and throw it back in his face. 1335 01:45:07,380 --> 01:45:12,177 He's the first nice guy I've met in my life. The only one that ever gave me anything. 1336 01:45:12,302 --> 01:45:14,804 You'll forget him, Sugar. 1337 01:45:15,638 --> 01:45:20,643 How can I? No matter where I go, there'll always be a Shell station on every corner. 1338 01:45:20,727 --> 01:45:24,064 I'll bring this back when it's empty. 1339 01:45:26,149 --> 01:45:29,486 Are you crazy? The place is crawlin' with mobsters. 1340 01:45:29,694 --> 01:45:32,822 And you're makin' like Diamond Jim Brady. 1341 01:45:33,031 --> 01:45:35,116 How are we gonna get outta here? How are we gonna eat? 1342 01:45:35,241 --> 01:45:39,287 - We'll walk. if we have to, we'll starve. - There's that "we" again. 1343 01:45:39,412 --> 01:45:42,749 Not that way. We don't wanna run into Spats and his chums. 1344 01:45:51,800 --> 01:45:53,677 Your hands clean? 1345 01:45:53,802 --> 01:45:55,261 Over. 1346 01:45:55,345 --> 01:45:57,347 OK, button my spats. 1347 01:46:00,266 --> 01:46:02,352 You sure dress nice, boss. 1348 01:46:02,435 --> 01:46:05,563 Say, boss. I've been talking with the other delegates. 1349 01:46:05,689 --> 01:46:10,068 The word is, Little Bonaparte is real sore over what happened to Toothpick Charlie. 1350 01:46:10,151 --> 01:46:14,030 - Him and Charlie was choirboys together. - Stop or I'll bust out cryin'. 1351 01:46:14,114 --> 01:46:17,826 He even got Charlie's last toothpick from the garage. Had it gold-plated. 1352 01:46:18,034 --> 01:46:19,994 Like I was tellin' you fellas. 1353 01:46:20,203 --> 01:46:23,456 Little Bonaparte's gettin' soft. Hasn't got it here anymore. 1354 01:46:23,665 --> 01:46:25,959 Used to be like a rock. 1355 01:46:26,042 --> 01:46:30,839 - It's too bad. I think it's time he retired. - Second the motion. 1356 01:46:30,964 --> 01:46:32,841 How are we gonna retire him? 1357 01:46:32,924 --> 01:46:35,010 Oh, we'll think of somethin' cute. 1358 01:46:35,218 --> 01:46:39,305 Little Bonaparte and Toothpick Charlie will be singin' in the same choir again. 1359 01:46:42,517 --> 01:46:46,062 But this time we'll make sure there are no witnesses. 1360 01:46:48,565 --> 01:46:52,444 Look. The two broads from the elevator. 1361 01:46:55,030 --> 01:46:57,657 Hey. Join us. 1362 01:46:58,283 --> 01:47:01,202 What's the matter with those dames? 1363 01:47:01,286 --> 01:47:03,580 Maybe those dames ain't dames. 1364 01:47:06,291 --> 01:47:09,002 Same faces, same instruments. 1365 01:47:12,756 --> 01:47:16,301 - Here's your Valentine's card. - The two musicians from the garage. 1366 01:47:16,426 --> 01:47:21,306 They wouldn't be caught dead in Chicago, so we'll finish the job here. Come on. 1367 01:47:39,783 --> 01:47:44,371 - All right, so what do we do now? - First we gotta get out of these clothes. 1368 01:49:23,219 --> 01:49:24,262 What happened? 1369 01:49:24,471 --> 01:49:27,807 Me and Tiny had them cornered, but we lost them in the shuffle. 1370 01:49:28,016 --> 01:49:31,227 - Where were you guys? - We was with you, at Rigoletto's. 1371 01:49:31,353 --> 01:49:35,023 - Why, you stupid idiot. - Boss, we'll get 'em after the banquet. 1372 01:49:35,148 --> 01:49:37,650 They can't be too far away. 1373 01:49:56,711 --> 01:49:58,797 Thank you. 1374 01:49:58,922 --> 01:50:01,216 Thank you, fellow opera-lovers. 1375 01:50:02,550 --> 01:50:06,638 It's been ten years since I elected myself president of this organisation, 1376 01:50:06,721 --> 01:50:10,809 and, if I say so myself, you made the right choice. 1377 01:50:12,560 --> 01:50:16,314 Let's look at the record. In the last fiscal year, 1378 01:50:16,439 --> 01:50:20,610 we made $112 million before taxes. 1379 01:50:20,694 --> 01:50:23,738 Only we ain't payin' no taxes. 1380 01:50:24,864 --> 01:50:29,244 Of course, like in every business, we had our little misunderstandings. 1381 01:50:31,121 --> 01:50:33,331 Let us now observe one minute of silence 1382 01:50:33,540 --> 01:50:37,919 in memory of seven of our members from Chicago, North Side Chapter, 1383 01:50:38,003 --> 01:50:42,716 who are unable to be with us tonight on account of bein' rubbed out. 1384 01:50:47,178 --> 01:50:49,264 You too, Spats. 1385 01:50:49,472 --> 01:50:51,474 Up. 1386 01:51:01,067 --> 01:51:02,736 Easy, now. 1387 01:51:02,944 --> 01:51:06,156 - You know when you come out? - Yeah. Second time they sing: 1388 01:51:06,364 --> 01:51:10,452 For he's a jolly good fellow which nobody can deny. 1389 01:51:10,535 --> 01:51:12,537 OK. 1390 01:51:16,499 --> 01:51:20,670 And don't mess up the cake. I promised to bring back a piece to my kids. 1391 01:51:28,178 --> 01:51:30,472 Now, fellow delegates, 1392 01:51:30,555 --> 01:51:34,225 there comes a time in the life of every business executive 1393 01:51:34,309 --> 01:51:37,145 when he starts thinkin' about retirement. 1394 01:51:37,228 --> 01:51:39,230 No! 1395 01:51:41,608 --> 01:51:44,944 I'm lookin' around for somebody to fill my shoes. 1396 01:51:45,070 --> 01:51:48,198 I've been considerin' several candidates. 1397 01:51:48,406 --> 01:51:51,618 For instance, there's a certain party from Chicago, 1398 01:51:51,826 --> 01:51:53,912 South Side Chapter. 1399 01:51:56,206 --> 01:52:01,753 Now, some people say he's gotten a little too big for his spats. 1400 01:52:01,836 --> 01:52:05,590 But I say he's a man who'll go far. 1401 01:52:05,715 --> 01:52:09,886 Some people say he's gone too far. 1402 01:52:09,969 --> 01:52:13,640 But I say, you can't keep a good man down. 1403 01:52:14,766 --> 01:52:16,976 Of course, he's still got a lot to learn. 1404 01:52:17,060 --> 01:52:19,688 The big noise he made on St Valentine's Day, 1405 01:52:19,771 --> 01:52:23,108 that wasn't very good for public relations. 1406 01:52:23,233 --> 01:52:29,072 And lettin' them two witnesses get away. That sure was careless. 1407 01:52:29,155 --> 01:52:32,200 Don't worry about those two. They're as good as dead. 1408 01:52:32,283 --> 01:52:34,494 I almost caught up with them today. 1409 01:52:34,577 --> 01:52:38,665 You mean you let 'em get away twice? 1410 01:52:38,748 --> 01:52:42,002 Some people would say that's real sloppy. 1411 01:52:42,085 --> 01:52:46,256 But I say: to err is human, to forgive divine. 1412 01:52:46,464 --> 01:52:48,758 And just to show you what I think of you, Spats, 1413 01:52:49,009 --> 01:52:51,428 the boys told me you was gonna have a birthday. 1414 01:52:51,511 --> 01:52:53,596 So we baked you a little cake. 1415 01:52:54,431 --> 01:52:56,307 My birthday? 1416 01:52:56,516 --> 01:52:58,935 Why, it ain't for another four months. 1417 01:52:59,019 --> 01:53:02,897 So we're a little early. What's a few months between friends? 1418 01:53:02,981 --> 01:53:05,400 All right, boys. Now all together. 1419 01:53:05,608 --> 01:53:07,902 For he's a jolly good fellow. 1420 01:53:08,194 --> 01:53:10,405 For he's a jolly good fellow. 1421 01:53:10,613 --> 01:53:14,367 For he's a jolly good fellow. 1422 01:53:14,451 --> 01:53:16,953 Which nobody can deny. 1423 01:53:17,162 --> 01:53:19,039 Which nobody can deny. 1424 01:53:19,247 --> 01:53:21,875 Which nobody can deny. 1425 01:53:22,083 --> 01:53:24,461 For he's a jolly good fellow. 1426 01:53:24,586 --> 01:53:26,671 For he's a jolly good fellow. 1427 01:53:26,880 --> 01:53:30,091 For he's a jolly good fellow. 1428 01:53:30,717 --> 01:53:33,845 Which nobody can deny. 1429 01:53:49,194 --> 01:53:51,279 Big joke. 1430 01:53:58,244 --> 01:54:00,246 Let's get outta here. 1431 01:54:03,166 --> 01:54:05,669 Get those two guys. 1432 01:54:12,550 --> 01:54:14,302 What happened here? 1433 01:54:14,427 --> 01:54:18,682 There was somethin' in that cake that didn't agree with 'em. 1434 01:54:19,933 --> 01:54:24,312 My compliments to the chef. Nobody leaves this room till I get the recipe. 1435 01:54:24,521 --> 01:54:27,023 You wanna make a federal case of it? 1436 01:54:31,528 --> 01:54:33,405 Yeah. 1437 01:55:00,724 --> 01:55:02,600 They slipped through our hands. 1438 01:55:02,684 --> 01:55:06,771 We're watchin' the train station, roads and airport. They can't get away. 1439 01:55:06,980 --> 01:55:09,899 - Did you hear that? - But they're not watching yachts. 1440 01:55:09,983 --> 01:55:13,028 - You're gonna call Osgood. - What'll I tell him? 1441 01:55:13,111 --> 01:55:15,822 Tell him you're gonna elope with him. 1442 01:55:15,947 --> 01:55:18,450 Elope? But there are laws, conventions. 1443 01:55:18,533 --> 01:55:22,412 There's a convention, all right. There's also the ladies' morgue. 1444 01:57:24,659 --> 01:57:26,202 Josephine. 1445 01:57:27,662 --> 01:57:30,373 Bienstock! 1446 01:57:31,332 --> 01:57:33,293 Hey. That's no dame. 1447 01:57:33,835 --> 01:57:36,004 None of that, Sugar. 1448 01:57:36,129 --> 01:57:38,214 No guy is worth it. 1449 01:57:41,426 --> 01:57:43,428 Grab her. 1450 01:57:47,182 --> 01:57:49,142 Josephine? 1451 01:57:54,481 --> 01:57:58,026 - Osgood's meeting us at the pier. - We're not on the pier yet. 1452 01:58:48,785 --> 01:58:50,161 Hi. 1453 01:58:50,245 --> 01:58:52,872 My friend Josephine, gonna be a bridesmaid. 1454 01:58:52,956 --> 01:58:55,041 - Pleased to meet you. - Come on. 1455 01:58:55,166 --> 01:58:57,043 She's so eager. 1456 01:59:11,099 --> 01:59:13,101 Wait for Sugar! 1457 01:59:18,523 --> 01:59:20,859 - Another bridesmaid? - Flower girl. 1458 01:59:21,026 --> 01:59:24,279 - Sugar, what are you doing? - I told you, I'm not very bright. 1459 01:59:24,404 --> 01:59:26,489 Let's go. 1460 01:59:29,492 --> 01:59:31,077 You don't want me, Sugar. 1461 01:59:31,286 --> 01:59:33,788 I'm a liar and a phooey. A saxophone player. 1462 01:59:33,872 --> 01:59:36,291 One of those no-goodniks you keep running away from. 1463 01:59:36,374 --> 01:59:37,834 I know. Every time. 1464 01:59:38,043 --> 01:59:41,087 Sugar, do yourself a favour. Go back to the millionaires. 1465 01:59:41,296 --> 01:59:42,839 The sweet end of the lollipop, 1466 01:59:42,964 --> 01:59:46,926 not the coleslaw in the face and the squeezed-out tube of toothpaste. 1467 01:59:47,010 --> 01:59:50,138 That's right, pour it on. Talk me out of it. 1468 01:59:54,726 --> 01:59:57,145 I called Mama. She was so happy, she cried. 1469 01:59:57,354 --> 02:00:00,357 She wants you to have her wedding gown. It's white lace. 1470 02:00:00,565 --> 02:00:03,610 Osgood, I can't get married in your mother's dress. 1471 02:00:04,861 --> 02:00:08,198 She and I, we are not built the same way. 1472 02:00:08,406 --> 02:00:10,992 - We can have it altered. - Oh no, you don't. 1473 02:00:12,035 --> 02:00:15,497 Osgood, I'm gonna level with you. We can't get married at all. 1474 02:00:15,705 --> 02:00:17,040 Why not? 1475 02:00:17,248 --> 02:00:18,625 Well... 1476 02:00:18,833 --> 02:00:21,336 In the first place, I'm not a natural blonde. 1477 02:00:21,419 --> 02:00:23,088 Doesn't matter. 1478 02:00:23,213 --> 02:00:25,590 I smoke. I smoke all the time. 1479 02:00:25,799 --> 02:00:27,384 I don't care. 1480 02:00:27,467 --> 02:00:31,763 I have a terrible past. For three years I've been living with a saxophone player. 1481 02:00:31,846 --> 02:00:33,848 I forgive you. 1482 02:00:35,392 --> 02:00:38,228 I can never have children. 1483 02:00:38,311 --> 02:00:41,773 - We can adopt some. - You don't understand, Osgood. 1484 02:00:43,858 --> 02:00:46,027 - I'm a man. - Well, 1485 02:00:46,236 --> 02:00:48,655 nobody's perfect.