1 00:02:12,459 --> 00:02:14,620 Good. 2 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:04,174 Bell... bell! - Get out of here. 3 00:03:12,186 --> 00:03:14,086 Tastes like old chicken wire. 4 00:03:14,188 --> 00:03:17,180 Yes, but you've taken off 20 pounds. 5 00:03:19,793 --> 00:03:22,261 Au revoir. 6 00:03:22,363 --> 00:03:24,593 Oh! How is he this morning? 7 00:03:24,698 --> 00:03:28,532 Tolerably well. He says his liver's acting up a bit, but, you know. 8 00:03:28,636 --> 00:03:32,128 Ah, good morning. And how is poor, dear Mr. Kidley? 9 00:03:32,239 --> 00:03:34,673 His gall bladder spent a rather peaceful night. 10 00:03:34,775 --> 00:03:37,437 Ah, that's good. That's good. Splendid. Splendid. 11 00:03:37,544 --> 00:03:40,604 However, he complains of a shooting pain in his sacroiliac. 12 00:03:40,714 --> 00:03:44,912 Oh, good morning. Isn't he the Kidley of Kidley's Korn Plasters? 13 00:03:45,019 --> 00:03:47,180 Kidley's Beans, madam, if you don't mind. 14 00:03:47,288 --> 00:03:51,418 Oh. I ate some once. Very tasty. 15 00:03:51,525 --> 00:03:53,425 Thank you, madam. 16 00:03:53,527 --> 00:03:55,427 Ah, Jeepers. Good morning. 17 00:03:55,529 --> 00:03:57,429 How is Mr. Kidley this morning? 18 00:03:57,531 --> 00:03:59,431 Up and down-ish, thank you, sir. 19 00:03:59,533 --> 00:04:02,229 His liver was a bit squeamish during the night. That's nice. 20 00:04:02,336 --> 00:04:04,566 Did he invent the Kidley Bean? 21 00:04:04,672 --> 00:04:07,004 His grandfather did, madam. 22 00:04:07,107 --> 00:04:10,235 I understand Mr. Kidley inherited quite a little money. 23 00:04:10,344 --> 00:04:13,541 $20 Million, madam. I shouldn't call that "a little." 24 00:04:13,647 --> 00:04:15,547 Please, please. Yes! 25 00:04:15,649 --> 00:04:17,549 Ladies, ladies, please, please. 26 00:04:17,651 --> 00:04:19,551 This is for Mr. Kidley. 27 00:04:19,653 --> 00:04:21,285 Is that you, Jeepers? - Yes, sir. 28 00:04:23,223 --> 00:04:27,489 Oh, Jeepers, I'm a very sick man. 29 00:04:27,594 --> 00:04:30,028 Very sick. 30 00:04:30,130 --> 00:04:33,622 Will you take that? 31 00:04:33,734 --> 00:04:35,634 Oh, it's terrible. 32 00:04:38,505 --> 00:04:40,632 Normal, sir. Oh, but it can't be! 33 00:04:40,741 --> 00:04:42,800 Ninety-eight and six-tenths, sir, right on the nose. 34 00:04:42,910 --> 00:04:45,970 Oh, that thing's broken again. 35 00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:48,207 If I may say so, sir, it's all poppycock. 36 00:04:48,315 --> 00:04:50,283 You're as healthy as a fire horse. 37 00:04:50,384 --> 00:04:53,148 Oh! Oh, is that so? 38 00:04:53,253 --> 00:04:56,381 Well, why do you think I came to Switzerland to yodel? 39 00:04:56,490 --> 00:04:58,390 And how about yesterday? 40 00:04:58,492 --> 00:05:01,825 That dizzy spell when I fell downstairs? You saw me yourself. 41 00:05:01,929 --> 00:05:04,022 Anyone would fall downstairs, sir. 42 00:05:04,131 --> 00:05:06,065 Eight aspirins before breakfast. 43 00:05:06,166 --> 00:05:08,828 Well, now, don't quibble. If you had what I've got... 44 00:05:08,936 --> 00:05:11,962 - What have you got, sir? - Well, l... 45 00:05:12,072 --> 00:05:14,199 Well, you wait till I see Dr. Schmidt this afternoon. 46 00:05:14,308 --> 00:05:17,072 He'll tell you what I've got. Dr. Schmidt! 47 00:05:17,177 --> 00:05:20,044 Yes. Dr. Schmidt is the biggest stomach man in Europe. 48 00:05:20,147 --> 00:05:22,240 Very well, sir. Whatever he says goes. 49 00:05:25,953 --> 00:05:27,853 You're not getting a chill, sir? 50 00:05:27,955 --> 00:05:30,116 No. I forgot to shake the bottle. 51 00:05:30,224 --> 00:05:32,658 Don't let me forget that, Jeepers. 52 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:35,422 And here, give me my bad gas water. 53 00:05:38,866 --> 00:05:40,766 Oh! 54 00:05:42,236 --> 00:05:45,694 There. An ice bag and a hot water bottle, right away. 55 00:05:45,806 --> 00:05:47,706 Oh, not to bed again, sir. 56 00:05:47,808 --> 00:05:50,777 It... It's all sunshiny outside, sir! The birds are singing! 57 00:05:50,878 --> 00:05:53,278 Oh, shut the window! I hate 'em! 58 00:05:53,380 --> 00:05:55,280 And besides, they're off-key. 59 00:05:55,382 --> 00:05:57,282 Close 'em out. 60 00:06:05,559 --> 00:06:07,459 Mr. Kidley staying here? Yes, madam. 61 00:06:07,561 --> 00:06:11,861 Rooms 201, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7. 62 00:06:11,965 --> 00:06:14,297 Get out, Hannah. This is it. Okeydokey. 63 00:06:14,401 --> 00:06:17,598 Oh, sir! Sir! 64 00:06:17,704 --> 00:06:20,036 It's her, sir. It's she! 65 00:06:20,140 --> 00:06:22,870 She's here, sir. Sir, she's here! 66 00:06:22,976 --> 00:06:25,035 Jeepers, this is no time for your romances. 67 00:06:25,145 --> 00:06:27,477 Get the ice bag and cool off. But sir! 68 00:06:27,581 --> 00:06:29,640 Sir, she's here! 69 00:06:29,750 --> 00:06:32,241 The-The-The one from St. Moritz. The one with four names. 70 00:06:32,352 --> 00:06:34,252 Marko? She's here? That's it. Yes. Yes. 71 00:06:34,354 --> 00:06:36,686 Mrs. Jones-DeBaupre- Ivansoff-Marko, sir. 72 00:06:36,790 --> 00:06:38,724 She's followed us. Well, where is she? I don't see her. 73 00:06:38,826 --> 00:06:42,193 She's in this hotel, sir. In the hotel? Oh, Jeepers, I'm cursed. 74 00:06:42,296 --> 00:06:44,696 Every time a woman finds out I've got $20 million and bad health... 75 00:06:44,798 --> 00:06:46,698 she falls in love with me. 76 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:49,997 The butterflies were easy to brush off, sir, but this one's a black widow. 77 00:06:50,103 --> 00:06:52,094 Well, don't stand there. Do something! 78 00:06:52,206 --> 00:06:54,106 Tell her I died. Anything! 79 00:06:54,208 --> 00:06:56,369 I knew it was a mistake to encourage her, sir. 80 00:06:56,477 --> 00:06:58,411 I did not. It was an accident. 81 00:06:58,512 --> 00:07:01,811 Room 312 and 412. Anybody can get off at the wrong floor. 82 00:07:01,915 --> 00:07:04,816 Well, answer the door. No, don't answer the door! 83 00:07:04,918 --> 00:07:07,079 Lock it! Lock it! Jeepers! 84 00:07:07,187 --> 00:07:11,180 Don't stand... 85 00:07:14,495 --> 00:07:16,759 John! 86 00:07:20,334 --> 00:07:22,234 John! 87 00:07:24,404 --> 00:07:26,838 Well, Mrs. Marko! 88 00:07:28,876 --> 00:07:32,903 Well, what happy wind blows you to Bad Gaswasser? 89 00:07:33,013 --> 00:07:36,414 Never mind that. What happy wind blew you out of St. Moritz? 90 00:07:36,517 --> 00:07:39,145 Well, you see, I, uh... There was a train, and then, uh... 91 00:07:39,253 --> 00:07:41,585 there was a doctor, and he told me that... 92 00:07:41,688 --> 00:07:43,849 That l... Well, I mean... Didn't I, Jeepers? 93 00:07:43,957 --> 00:07:46,152 Oh, absolutely, Mrs. Marko. Will you get out? 94 00:07:46,260 --> 00:07:49,058 Yes, ma'am. No, not you. I mean this-this Creepers. 95 00:07:49,162 --> 00:07:52,495 Jeepers! 96 00:07:52,599 --> 00:07:54,999 We'll get rid of him. Oh, sure, we... Huh? 97 00:07:55,102 --> 00:07:58,071 - After we're married. - Oh, uh... 98 00:07:58,171 --> 00:08:01,971 Yeah. Yeah. But I understood... I mean, what about your husband? 99 00:08:02,075 --> 00:08:04,669 Pierre? Oh, we won't have to worry about Pierre. 100 00:08:04,778 --> 00:08:07,838 Oh, we won't? Well! Well... 101 00:08:07,948 --> 00:08:09,848 John, it was fate. 102 00:08:09,950 --> 00:08:12,009 Everything was settled that wonderful night you danced with me. 103 00:08:12,119 --> 00:08:14,019 I knew how you felt when you held me close... 104 00:08:14,121 --> 00:08:16,988 and whispered, "You, you, it's got to be you." 105 00:08:17,090 --> 00:08:20,191 Yes, but that was a song, Mrs. Marko. 106 00:08:20,294 --> 00:08:22,194 ? You, you It's gotta be you? 107 00:08:22,296 --> 00:08:24,196 ? You wonderful you No one but you? 108 00:08:24,298 --> 00:08:26,129 Don't you remember? I remember. 109 00:08:26,233 --> 00:08:28,360 Darling, of course it's going to be me. Oh. 110 00:08:28,468 --> 00:08:31,767 And then you remember later, when you... Oh, did I? 111 00:08:31,872 --> 00:08:34,136 Well, that was the elevator. 112 00:08:34,241 --> 00:08:38,041 You see, l-I just went, and I got off. It'll happen. 113 00:08:38,145 --> 00:08:41,012 John, do you know what first attracted me to you? 114 00:08:41,114 --> 00:08:44,641 Yeah, well, I guess you had 20 million reasons, eh, Mrs. Marko? 115 00:08:44,751 --> 00:08:47,584 You're the only one in the whole world who believes in me. 116 00:08:47,688 --> 00:08:50,987 The others are always pointing accusing fingers, just because of DeBaupre. 117 00:08:51,091 --> 00:08:53,355 DeBaupre? Yes. He was the one before Pierre. 118 00:08:53,460 --> 00:08:55,951 - Oh, he's the one they said you shot. - It's not true! 119 00:08:56,063 --> 00:08:59,260 - It's a wicked, slanderous lie! - Oh, I should say it is. 120 00:08:59,366 --> 00:09:01,960 Just because you were there and there were holes in him, Mrs. Marko... 121 00:09:02,069 --> 00:09:04,037 is no reason why people should... 122 00:09:04,137 --> 00:09:07,800 I was acquitted. Just because I'm impulsive and quick tempered, people talk. 123 00:09:07,908 --> 00:09:10,376 Yes, and with you being an Olympic pistol champion... 124 00:09:10,477 --> 00:09:12,968 You too! Oh, pardon me. 125 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:15,548 John, what you just said is what the police said. 126 00:09:15,649 --> 00:09:18,516 You don't dare to think that l... Why, no, Mrs. Marko. 127 00:09:18,619 --> 00:09:22,055 I think you're as innocent as a child... a small child. Way down... 128 00:09:22,155 --> 00:09:24,055 We're going to be very happy together. 129 00:09:24,157 --> 00:09:26,990 - Don't you think so, John? - You're the type of woman I admire. 130 00:09:27,094 --> 00:09:30,586 I'd marry you just like that, if it weren't for... 131 00:09:30,697 --> 00:09:35,066 If it weren't for what? Well, if it weren't for your present husband, Mr. Marko. 132 00:09:35,168 --> 00:09:38,695 Oh. I thought I told you. 133 00:09:38,805 --> 00:09:41,205 Oh, poor Pierre! 134 00:09:41,308 --> 00:09:43,242 Yes, poor Pierre. L... 135 00:09:43,343 --> 00:09:45,243 "Poor Pierre"? What happened to him? 136 00:09:45,345 --> 00:09:47,245 He fell off the Matterhorn. 137 00:09:47,347 --> 00:09:49,611 Oh, that's too... That's a mountain! 138 00:09:49,716 --> 00:09:53,277 Thirteen thousand, six hundred and sixty-nine feet. 139 00:09:53,387 --> 00:09:55,719 He was never found. 140 00:09:55,822 --> 00:09:58,484 Did they look? Were you there, Mrs. Marko? 141 00:09:58,592 --> 00:10:00,651 Oh, I saw it all. It was horrible. 142 00:10:00,761 --> 00:10:03,855 Why, when it happened, l-I wasn't a foot behind him. Think of that. 143 00:10:03,964 --> 00:10:05,864 I'll bet you could have reached right out... 144 00:10:05,966 --> 00:10:09,367 and touched him, eh, Mrs. Marko? Easily. 145 00:10:12,606 --> 00:10:15,302 Seven years. Seven years. 146 00:10:15,409 --> 00:10:17,673 That's how long we'll have to wait, Mrs. Marko. 147 00:10:17,778 --> 00:10:20,713 When a husband disappears, you have to wait seven years. 148 00:10:20,814 --> 00:10:22,805 Not in mountain climbing. I'd be willing to bet. 149 00:10:22,916 --> 00:10:25,544 Oh, you'd lose. I stopped in Geneva to find out. 150 00:10:25,652 --> 00:10:27,916 I had the same lawyers as the League of Nations. 151 00:10:28,021 --> 00:10:31,047 Oh. I'm entirely free. 152 00:10:31,158 --> 00:10:33,149 Oh, well, Mrs. Marko, you wouldn't want to marry me. 153 00:10:33,260 --> 00:10:35,558 I'm a hopeless invalid. I'm liable to die, just like that. 154 00:10:35,662 --> 00:10:37,653 You mistrust me! You act as though you don't want to marry me. 155 00:10:37,764 --> 00:10:39,664 Why, I've told everyone I came here to... 156 00:10:39,766 --> 00:10:41,734 Shh! Don't. 157 00:10:41,835 --> 00:10:46,033 Oh, I must control myself. I mustn't lose my temper. 158 00:10:46,139 --> 00:10:49,336 No, no. Don't do that! No! Uh, oh. 159 00:10:49,443 --> 00:10:52,276 You do intend to marry me, don't you, John? Why... 160 00:10:52,379 --> 00:10:54,574 Well, uh, l-l... 161 00:10:54,681 --> 00:10:57,013 Let... 162 00:10:57,117 --> 00:10:59,017 I'll get it. 163 00:11:00,287 --> 00:11:02,312 You do... 164 00:11:02,422 --> 00:11:04,390 don't you, John? 165 00:11:04,491 --> 00:11:08,894 Oh, sure. No other thought ever entered my mind, Mrs. Marko. 166 00:11:08,995 --> 00:11:11,429 Then that's settled. 167 00:11:11,531 --> 00:11:13,431 I'll go and change. Yes. 168 00:11:13,533 --> 00:11:15,433 And then we'll set the date. 169 00:11:17,838 --> 00:11:19,738 Date. 170 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:21,831 Jeepers! 171 00:11:23,910 --> 00:11:25,810 I gathered from what I overheard, sir... 172 00:11:25,912 --> 00:11:27,846 that we're in a slight miasma, sir. 173 00:11:27,948 --> 00:11:29,848 Miasma is right. 174 00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:32,043 I should advise a firm stand. 175 00:11:32,152 --> 00:11:34,052 I had a brother-in-law... since deceased... 176 00:11:34,154 --> 00:11:36,782 who sponged lions for a living, sir. 177 00:11:36,890 --> 00:11:39,552 He always said... Oh, shut up, Jeepers! 178 00:11:39,659 --> 00:11:42,753 Feel my pulse. It's doing that again. 179 00:11:42,863 --> 00:11:45,388 One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three. 180 00:11:45,499 --> 00:11:48,434 Waltzing? Yes, sir. 181 00:11:48,535 --> 00:11:51,129 I'd better drop down to the chemist's, sir, and get your acidity test. 182 00:11:51,238 --> 00:11:54,469 Oh, yes. Good. I'll meet you at Dr. Schmidt's. 183 00:11:56,576 --> 00:12:00,569 And as for Mrs. Marko, I should tell her to go fry an egg. 184 00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:02,841 Yeah, and get shot down like a clay pigeon. 185 00:12:02,949 --> 00:12:07,409 "The coward dies a thousand deaths, the hero dies but once." 186 00:12:12,025 --> 00:12:13,925 Do hurry, Marjorie. 187 00:12:14,027 --> 00:12:15,927 Oh, yes, but these lovely little fish! 188 00:12:16,029 --> 00:12:17,929 Doesn't it frighten the fish? 189 00:12:18,031 --> 00:12:19,931 Not at all, madam. They grow to love it. 190 00:12:20,033 --> 00:12:22,001 The acidity test for Mr. Kidley, please. Of course. 191 00:12:22,102 --> 00:12:25,071 What does it do? Just one moment, madam, please. 192 00:12:25,172 --> 00:12:29,404 Knoodle, Kneck, Kipper, Kidley. Ah. Here we are. 193 00:12:29,509 --> 00:12:33,240 Ah, now I remember what I want... Corn plasters. 194 00:12:33,346 --> 00:12:35,678 But the gentleman was... Oh, but I was here first. 195 00:12:35,782 --> 00:12:37,807 Excuse, please. Now, these we recommend. 196 00:12:37,918 --> 00:12:40,716 That will be two samelkas, please. 197 00:12:40,821 --> 00:12:43,790 Here you are. And ten samelkas. 198 00:12:43,890 --> 00:12:45,915 Two samelkas. Thank you. 199 00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:49,393 I've been waiting here for the analysis for Kipper. 200 00:12:49,496 --> 00:12:52,932 He's been a little bit off color lately. Haven't you, Kipper? 201 00:12:53,033 --> 00:12:55,900 Oh, poor little poochie-woochie. 202 00:12:56,002 --> 00:12:58,994 Why, you nasty little dog, you! 203 00:12:59,105 --> 00:13:01,232 The name was Kipper, wasn't it? 204 00:13:01,341 --> 00:13:03,241 Ja, Kipper. Ja, ja, ja, ja. Uh, Kidley... 205 00:13:03,343 --> 00:13:05,277 Kornbostle, Kreutzenheimer. 206 00:13:05,378 --> 00:13:07,437 I was certain that was here a moment ago. 207 00:13:07,547 --> 00:13:12,211 Knoodle, Kneck, Kidley, Kornbostle. 208 00:13:12,319 --> 00:13:15,652 I can't understand it. 209 00:13:15,755 --> 00:13:18,417 Breathe in, breathe out. 210 00:13:18,525 --> 00:13:21,255 Breathe in, breathe out. 211 00:13:21,361 --> 00:13:23,352 Good. Very good. 212 00:13:23,463 --> 00:13:25,795 Yeah, but Doctor, I'm worried about those three white spots. 213 00:13:25,899 --> 00:13:28,129 I am not worried about them. You're not? 214 00:13:28,235 --> 00:13:30,795 No. They are the buttons on your under trousers. 215 00:13:30,904 --> 00:13:32,804 Oh. That is all. 216 00:13:34,574 --> 00:13:36,474 Step out. 217 00:13:38,478 --> 00:13:40,412 Here, Maria. 218 00:13:46,353 --> 00:13:49,447 Mr. Kidley's acidity test. Here I am, sir. 219 00:13:49,556 --> 00:13:51,649 Ah. Here we are. 220 00:13:51,758 --> 00:13:54,226 I have very much expect this... 221 00:14:00,834 --> 00:14:03,928 But this is marvelous! What is it, Doc? 222 00:14:04,037 --> 00:14:08,406 You've got 162 acidity... three times normal! 223 00:14:08,508 --> 00:14:11,306 Oh, well that's fine. That's great. Or is it? 224 00:14:11,411 --> 00:14:16,348 Is it? My friend, with your acidity, you can digest bones. 225 00:14:16,449 --> 00:14:19,714 You mean bones? But I don't like bones. 226 00:14:19,819 --> 00:14:21,787 You not only can, but you will... 227 00:14:21,888 --> 00:14:24,152 your bones and everything else. 228 00:14:24,257 --> 00:14:26,885 You will completely digest yourself. 229 00:14:26,993 --> 00:14:29,518 W-W... You-You mean I'm... 230 00:14:29,629 --> 00:14:31,688 I'm gonna pass away? Pass away? 231 00:14:31,798 --> 00:14:33,698 You will disappear! 232 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:37,736 Thinner and thinner, smaller and smaller... 233 00:14:37,837 --> 00:14:41,500 until finally... pfft! Pfft? 234 00:14:41,608 --> 00:14:44,543 Now I know what is the matter with you. 235 00:14:44,644 --> 00:14:48,239 You have got Acidatus Canis... the acidity of a dog. 236 00:14:48,348 --> 00:14:51,715 A dog? It is very, very rare. Oh, very rare. 237 00:14:51,818 --> 00:14:54,514 Not once in 700 years does it turn up. 238 00:14:56,089 --> 00:14:58,922 Acidity. Acid mouth. 239 00:14:59,025 --> 00:15:02,586 Acidity... Ah! Here we are. 240 00:15:02,696 --> 00:15:05,563 "The last case was a Greek shepherd boy. 241 00:15:05,665 --> 00:15:07,997 His name was Peropilis." 242 00:15:08,101 --> 00:15:11,832 Well, what happened to him? Unfortunately, nobody knows. 243 00:15:11,938 --> 00:15:14,634 "On the last day, he went out with his sheep... 244 00:15:14,741 --> 00:15:17,869 Yes? And they found only his footprints." 245 00:15:19,512 --> 00:15:22,811 Yeah, well, look, Doc. I mean, how long have I got? 246 00:15:22,916 --> 00:15:26,852 Oh, ten, twenty, maybe thirty days. 247 00:15:26,953 --> 00:15:29,478 D-Days? Oh! 248 00:15:29,589 --> 00:15:34,185 But why should you care? In the history of medicine, you will live forever. 249 00:15:34,294 --> 00:15:36,956 You are the first human dog. 250 00:15:37,063 --> 00:15:40,931 L-I'm... 251 00:15:41,034 --> 00:15:43,195 What was that? 252 00:15:43,303 --> 00:15:45,203 Ah. Erno. 253 00:15:45,305 --> 00:15:47,273 Jeepers! 254 00:15:47,374 --> 00:15:51,242 Doc! Doc! Never mind writing me up. What I want to know is... 255 00:15:51,344 --> 00:15:54,541 Look, Erno. The body is still round and fat. 256 00:15:54,647 --> 00:15:56,911 The face is still smooth. 257 00:15:57,017 --> 00:16:00,885 But in the eyes already show the ravages of-of... 258 00:16:00,987 --> 00:16:02,887 We've got to give it a name. 259 00:16:02,989 --> 00:16:04,957 I'll call it "Schmidt's Disease." 260 00:16:05,058 --> 00:16:06,992 After you? After me. 261 00:16:07,093 --> 00:16:09,755 Down the centuries, students will read of this. 262 00:16:09,863 --> 00:16:13,390 Side by side we will live through all eternity... 263 00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:16,298 Schmidt and his disease. 264 00:16:16,403 --> 00:16:18,564 We must send it to the journal. Oh, yes. 265 00:16:18,671 --> 00:16:22,072 All the newspapers. The whole world. 266 00:16:22,175 --> 00:16:24,837 Doc, look! Look, Doc. It's started already. 267 00:16:24,944 --> 00:16:26,969 I'm shrinking! L... l... 268 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:30,345 That is my hat. Oh. 269 00:16:46,066 --> 00:16:49,263 If I may say so, sir, I don't think you put up much of a fight. 270 00:16:49,369 --> 00:16:51,303 Jeepers, you talk like a fool. 271 00:16:51,404 --> 00:16:54,202 Have you ever seen Mrs. Marko at target practice? 272 00:16:54,307 --> 00:16:57,640 Why, she can shoot the head off a pin at 100 yards. 273 00:16:57,744 --> 00:17:00,713 But didn't you tell her, sir, that you only had 30 days to live? 274 00:17:00,814 --> 00:17:02,714 Yeah. That was my fatal mistake. 275 00:17:02,816 --> 00:17:06,775 Three minutes after I told her, she had me signing on a lot of dotted lines. 276 00:17:06,886 --> 00:17:10,151 I'll fix it with flowers, and it will look beautiful. 277 00:17:10,256 --> 00:17:12,247 All right. Now, what about the time? 278 00:17:12,358 --> 00:17:14,849 I can push you in and your gentleman at 3:30. 279 00:17:14,961 --> 00:17:16,861 Oh, couldn't you make it 4:00? 280 00:17:16,963 --> 00:17:19,591 Marrying on the half hour has been unlucky for me. No. Impossible! 281 00:17:19,699 --> 00:17:23,328 At 4:00 I marry his Highness Prince Smirnov to a young lady from Texas. 282 00:17:23,436 --> 00:17:25,597 That's where the cows come from. 283 00:17:25,705 --> 00:17:29,607 Very well. Mr. Kidley and I will be here at 3:30. 284 00:17:29,709 --> 00:17:32,171 They say cremation's awfully nice, sir. 285 00:17:32,278 --> 00:17:34,178 Jeepers! Just trying to be helpful, sir. 286 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:36,180 Well, stop it. Have you got a cigar? 287 00:17:36,282 --> 00:17:38,876 Yes, indeed, sir. Shall I smoke it for you? 288 00:17:38,985 --> 00:17:42,648 No, I'll smoke it myself. What does it matter now? That's the spirit, sir. 289 00:17:42,755 --> 00:17:44,655 As the poet says, "Come fill the cup... 290 00:17:44,757 --> 00:17:47,191 for the bird's on the wing." 291 00:17:47,293 --> 00:17:49,193 That's good. 292 00:17:49,295 --> 00:17:51,490 I'm just beginning to realize what a swell old world this is... 293 00:17:51,598 --> 00:17:54,897 now that I've only got thirty days. Twenty-nine now, sir. 294 00:17:57,137 --> 00:17:59,367 Jeepers, I've got to do something about my money. 295 00:17:59,472 --> 00:18:01,997 If I leave it to Mrs. Marko, she'll use it to start a war. 296 00:18:02,108 --> 00:18:04,008 I'm tellin'you, you'll do like I say! 297 00:18:04,110 --> 00:18:06,874 You'll marry Smirnov if I have to hogtie you! 298 00:18:06,980 --> 00:18:10,381 No! I won't! No! Do exactly as I say! 299 00:18:10,483 --> 00:18:12,974 Look out! 300 00:18:13,086 --> 00:18:14,986 Well! Well! 301 00:18:18,691 --> 00:18:21,455 Well, I don't blame her. 302 00:18:21,561 --> 00:18:24,655 Whatever it is, he's wrong. 303 00:18:24,764 --> 00:18:28,097 Home, Jeepers. Yes, sir. 304 00:18:41,014 --> 00:18:43,482 Mighty proud to be his wife, that's what you ought to be. 305 00:18:43,583 --> 00:18:47,519 Mighty proud! Why, Smirnov's folks goes back 40 generations. 306 00:18:47,620 --> 00:18:49,952 Well, why don't he go back with 'em? 307 00:18:50,056 --> 00:18:51,956 "Don't do this. Don't do that. 308 00:18:52,058 --> 00:18:53,958 Don't wear this. Don't wear that." 309 00:18:54,060 --> 00:18:56,460 Trying to make a lady out of me! 310 00:18:56,563 --> 00:19:00,693 Always licking my hand like a St. Bernard dog. Oh, I hate him! 311 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,700 Now, we didn't traipse all the way... 312 00:19:02,802 --> 00:19:05,168 from Eagle Heights, Texas, to Bad Gaswasser... 313 00:19:05,271 --> 00:19:07,239 just so you could back out now. 314 00:19:07,340 --> 00:19:11,401 But, Pa, I love Henry Munch! 315 00:19:11,511 --> 00:19:13,411 Aww! 316 00:19:15,114 --> 00:19:17,981 Oh, Henny-Penny! They're trying to pull us apart. 317 00:19:18,084 --> 00:19:22,248 Oh, Henny, coochie-woochie! 318 00:19:22,355 --> 00:19:24,755 Aw, coochie-woochie-woochie! 319 00:19:24,857 --> 00:19:27,417 Oh, Daddy, no, don't! Munch is a no-account bus driver! 320 00:19:27,527 --> 00:19:30,018 From Eagle Heights to Silver Falls. 321 00:19:30,129 --> 00:19:32,256 I don't care. I love him just the same. 322 00:19:32,365 --> 00:19:34,765 That Smirnov's nothing but a dressed-up coyote. 323 00:19:34,867 --> 00:19:38,132 Dressed or undressed, you're marrying him at 4:00. 324 00:19:38,238 --> 00:19:41,036 Well, Henry was good enough when we were nothing but poor scrub farmers. 325 00:19:41,140 --> 00:19:43,836 Ever since we struck oil and got to wearin' shoes... 326 00:19:43,943 --> 00:19:46,173 you've been gettin' mighty nose-high, Pa. 327 00:19:46,279 --> 00:19:50,272 You're goin' back home a princess, just like I told 'em. 328 00:19:50,383 --> 00:19:53,511 By hooky, they'll let me into the country club and everything then. 329 00:19:53,620 --> 00:19:56,953 I'll show 'em! That bunch always lookin' down on me. 330 00:19:57,056 --> 00:19:58,956 If they could only patch up a man... 331 00:19:59,058 --> 00:20:00,958 as easily as they can a bicycle tire. 332 00:20:08,468 --> 00:20:10,368 Imagine me laughing in my condition. 333 00:20:10,470 --> 00:20:13,633 You're going through with it, and that's my final say! 334 00:20:13,740 --> 00:20:16,868 I won't. I won't, I won't, I won't, I won't! 335 00:20:16,976 --> 00:20:20,309 I'll... I'll run away. I'll... I'll do something desperate. 336 00:20:30,590 --> 00:20:33,252 Hey! Jeepers, that girl! 337 00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:35,919 Mr. Kidley! No! 338 00:20:39,265 --> 00:20:41,290 Oh! 339 00:20:41,401 --> 00:20:45,428 Help! Help! Oh! Wait! Careful! 340 00:20:45,538 --> 00:20:47,438 Help! 341 00:20:48,541 --> 00:20:50,441 Why, you... 342 00:20:57,317 --> 00:21:01,583 - Oh, Miss, please! - I'll save you. Take it easy. 343 00:21:05,625 --> 00:21:07,525 Let me, sir! Let me, please! 344 00:21:07,627 --> 00:21:09,618 Oh, darn fool. 345 00:21:20,039 --> 00:21:21,939 Oh! Oh! 346 00:21:22,041 --> 00:21:24,236 Get her! Save her! Get her! Hey, wait a minute! 347 00:21:24,344 --> 00:21:29,043 Wait. Are you all right? Oh! Oh. Oh. 348 00:21:29,148 --> 00:21:32,345 Oh, say! Oh, thanks. You saved my life. 349 00:21:32,452 --> 00:21:34,784 Well, why did you do it? Why didn't you let me alone? 350 00:21:34,887 --> 00:21:36,787 You-You can't even swim. 351 00:21:36,889 --> 00:21:39,949 Apart from his morning tub, Miss, he's never been in the water in his life. 352 00:21:40,059 --> 00:21:41,959 Well, then, why did you do it? 353 00:21:42,061 --> 00:21:43,995 It was marvelous... I mean, wonderful... 354 00:21:44,097 --> 00:21:47,589 But why did you do it? 355 00:21:47,700 --> 00:21:50,931 Well, you see, l... Any man would have done the same. 356 00:21:51,037 --> 00:21:53,267 I couldn't get the inner tube off my neck, sir. 357 00:21:53,373 --> 00:21:55,341 Look. Look, you. You... 358 00:21:55,441 --> 00:21:57,341 Don't you ever do anything like that... 359 00:21:57,443 --> 00:21:59,343 no matter what your troubles are. 360 00:21:59,445 --> 00:22:01,345 This world's a pretty nice place to live in. 361 00:22:01,447 --> 00:22:03,347 Think of the sunshine, and the bees... 362 00:22:03,449 --> 00:22:05,349 and the butterflies and the breeze and the... and the... 363 00:22:05,451 --> 00:22:07,351 What's that thing about the cup? 364 00:22:07,453 --> 00:22:09,944 "Come fill the cup. The bird's on the wing." 365 00:22:10,056 --> 00:22:12,081 Yeah, you see? The bird's on the wing. What bird? 366 00:22:12,191 --> 00:22:15,058 Well, uh... What bird, Jeepers? Just a figure of speech, sir. 367 00:22:15,161 --> 00:22:18,289 Come along, sir. We mustn't precipitate your demise. Pneumonia! 368 00:22:18,398 --> 00:22:21,595 Come on. You're liable to catch your death of cold if you... 369 00:22:21,701 --> 00:22:23,601 Oh, me. 370 00:22:28,307 --> 00:22:30,332 I just wish you knew my Henry. 371 00:22:30,443 --> 00:22:33,742 He's so big, and strong and-and cute. 372 00:22:33,846 --> 00:22:35,746 Why, he'd do anything for me. 373 00:22:35,848 --> 00:22:37,748 You know, when we were kids, he... 374 00:22:37,850 --> 00:22:41,183 he ate a beetle, just 'cause I asked him to. 375 00:22:41,287 --> 00:22:44,279 Sounds like a handy fella to have around a garden. 376 00:22:44,390 --> 00:22:46,517 Yeah, but that's all over with now. 377 00:22:46,626 --> 00:22:48,821 At 4:00 I've got to marry Smirnov. 378 00:22:48,928 --> 00:22:50,919 Yeah, but this is 1939. 379 00:22:51,030 --> 00:22:53,089 You don't have to go around jumping off bridges. 380 00:22:53,199 --> 00:22:56,032 You don't know Pa. 381 00:22:56,135 --> 00:22:58,035 But what are my troubles compared to yours? 382 00:22:58,137 --> 00:23:01,231 I mean, you being a human dog and everything. 383 00:23:01,340 --> 00:23:04,776 Yeah. Acidatus Canis. 384 00:23:04,877 --> 00:23:07,072 You know, while we're sitting here, Mickey, you know what I'm doin'? 385 00:23:07,180 --> 00:23:09,148 Uh-uh. I'm digesting myself. 386 00:23:09,248 --> 00:23:11,443 Huh? Bones and all. 387 00:23:11,551 --> 00:23:13,576 I'm getting smaller and smaller. 388 00:23:13,686 --> 00:23:16,348 First a pygmy, then a radiator ornament... 389 00:23:16,456 --> 00:23:19,550 then a watch charm, and finally... pfft. 390 00:23:19,659 --> 00:23:23,823 Just a memory. I'm the last of the vanishing Americans. 391 00:23:23,930 --> 00:23:26,194 Oh, I feel so sorry for you, Mr. Kidley. 392 00:23:26,299 --> 00:23:28,699 Oh, thanks, Mickey. Nobody else cares. 393 00:23:28,801 --> 00:23:31,099 Why, even the hotel people asked me to move. 394 00:23:31,204 --> 00:23:33,672 Afraid I might give the hotel a bad name. 395 00:23:33,773 --> 00:23:36,640 Told me to go to some other place and die. 396 00:23:36,742 --> 00:23:38,937 Oh, I wouldn't be afraid of them. 397 00:23:39,045 --> 00:23:42,014 I'd do it right here in this room, if I wanted to. 398 00:23:42,114 --> 00:23:44,048 Oh, gee. You're a nice girl, Mickey. 399 00:23:44,150 --> 00:23:46,618 I like you... and I like Henry too. 400 00:23:46,719 --> 00:23:49,085 You do? Jeepers. 401 00:23:49,188 --> 00:23:51,088 Yes, sir? Another glass. 402 00:23:51,190 --> 00:23:53,090 Another glass, Jeepers. For you. 403 00:23:53,192 --> 00:23:56,491 Oh, thank you, sir. Let's drink to Henry. Munch? 404 00:23:56,596 --> 00:23:58,723 Munch. Munch. 405 00:24:01,567 --> 00:24:03,467 That couldn't be Pa, could it? 406 00:24:03,569 --> 00:24:06,003 The Kidley suite. 407 00:24:06,105 --> 00:24:08,005 Who is it? It's the "Arko-may." 408 00:24:08,107 --> 00:24:10,302 Holy mackerel! I forgot all about her. 409 00:24:10,409 --> 00:24:13,401 What does she want? It's about your nuptials, sir. 410 00:24:13,513 --> 00:24:15,413 She wants to know if you're dressed. Tell her no. 411 00:24:15,515 --> 00:24:18,882 Tell her anything. Tell her I'm not dressed, not even my socks. 412 00:24:18,985 --> 00:24:23,354 You see, Mrs. Marko, Mr. Kidley is a little delayed. 413 00:24:23,456 --> 00:24:26,152 No, not decayed, madam, delayed. 414 00:24:26,259 --> 00:24:28,159 And I want him to be ready for the ceremony! 415 00:24:28,261 --> 00:24:30,161 What'd she say? What'd she say? 416 00:24:30,263 --> 00:24:32,163 She says you'd better be ready darn soon, sir... 417 00:24:32,265 --> 00:24:34,563 and I didn't like the way she said it. Well, Jeepers... 418 00:24:34,667 --> 00:24:36,567 Jeepers, do something. Think of something. 419 00:24:36,669 --> 00:24:38,569 Yeah! What's the matter? What's the matter? 420 00:24:38,671 --> 00:24:40,866 She... Mrs. Marko, she shoots her husbands. 421 00:24:40,973 --> 00:24:42,873 She pushes them off mountains and... 422 00:24:42,975 --> 00:24:45,273 and I've got to marry her at 3:30. 423 00:24:45,378 --> 00:24:48,040 But you don't have to marry her, do you? 424 00:24:48,147 --> 00:24:50,707 I don't, huh? She's the Olympic pistol champion. 425 00:24:50,816 --> 00:24:52,716 I can't get out of this any more than you can. 426 00:24:52,818 --> 00:24:54,718 I mean, we're in the same fix. 427 00:24:54,820 --> 00:24:56,913 Oh, why didn't you let me stay in the water? 428 00:24:57,023 --> 00:24:58,923 I was just beginning to do all right. 429 00:24:59,025 --> 00:25:02,222 All she wants is my money. She's my Smirnov. 430 00:25:02,328 --> 00:25:04,387 Hey, wait a minute. There's an out. 431 00:25:04,497 --> 00:25:06,397 There's an out for both of us. 432 00:25:06,499 --> 00:25:08,399 You mean we should jump back into the... No! Listen carefully. 433 00:25:08,501 --> 00:25:10,401 We only have a few minutes. Yeah? 434 00:25:10,503 --> 00:25:12,403 How would you like to marry me? 435 00:25:12,505 --> 00:25:15,372 How would l... What? You've had too much of that spider juice, sir. 436 00:25:15,474 --> 00:25:17,567 No, I haven't. But I can't marry you. 437 00:25:17,677 --> 00:25:19,577 Yes, you can. Here, put this on. 438 00:25:19,679 --> 00:25:21,579 It throws everybody for a loss. 439 00:25:21,681 --> 00:25:23,581 It puts the prince behind the eight ball... 440 00:25:23,683 --> 00:25:25,514 and the pistol champion in the side pocket. 441 00:25:25,618 --> 00:25:28,416 But what about Henry? Well, that's it. 442 00:25:28,521 --> 00:25:30,682 I can die in peace, and as soon as I'm gone you can marry Henry... 443 00:25:30,790 --> 00:25:32,690 and I'll leave him barrels of money. 444 00:25:32,792 --> 00:25:34,692 He can buy a thousand buses. 445 00:25:34,794 --> 00:25:37,262 Yeah, that's... Oh, but I don't love you. 446 00:25:37,363 --> 00:25:39,888 I mean, I don't even know you, well, good, you know. 447 00:25:39,999 --> 00:25:41,899 I don't love you either. That makes it perfect. 448 00:25:42,001 --> 00:25:43,901 But why should you do all this for me? 449 00:25:44,003 --> 00:25:46,597 Well, in the first place, I've never done anything for anybody. 450 00:25:46,706 --> 00:25:49,004 In the second place, it helps me too. 451 00:25:49,108 --> 00:25:51,702 And in the third place... Oh, well, I don't know. 452 00:25:51,811 --> 00:25:54,780 But-But, you can't... No buts. You leave everything to me. 453 00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:58,873 All right, I will. And I'll leave everything to you. 454 00:26:13,332 --> 00:26:15,232 Highness. 455 00:26:18,270 --> 00:26:20,170 Ah, gentlemen! 456 00:26:20,272 --> 00:26:25,835 Your Highness, I wouldn't have missed your wedding for the world. 457 00:26:25,945 --> 00:26:28,004 Gentlemen, you all know Kretsky. 458 00:26:28,114 --> 00:26:30,674 There he stands, an eloquent picture of his mission. 459 00:26:30,783 --> 00:26:33,718 The bulge in his right pocket: My unpaid notes. 460 00:26:33,819 --> 00:26:36,947 In his left pocket: My bad checks. 461 00:26:37,056 --> 00:26:39,183 The hollow in the middle is Kretsky. 462 00:26:39,291 --> 00:26:41,350 Your Highness has saved me words. 463 00:26:41,460 --> 00:26:43,792 Unless the bulge in my left pocket... 464 00:26:43,896 --> 00:26:46,763 is made good immediately after the ceremony... 465 00:26:46,866 --> 00:26:48,993 Your Highness will have the opportunity... 466 00:26:49,101 --> 00:26:52,593 of entertaining the police with his priceless humor. 467 00:26:52,705 --> 00:26:54,605 Kretsky, I intensely dislike you and your bloodhound... 468 00:26:54,707 --> 00:26:56,641 continually sniffing at my heels. 469 00:26:56,742 --> 00:27:02,146 We are sniffing for 200,000 samelkas in bad checks. 470 00:27:02,248 --> 00:27:04,148 Kretsky, I have told you, you will be paid... 471 00:27:04,250 --> 00:27:07,310 when I get my dowry... after the wedding. 472 00:27:12,992 --> 00:27:17,053 Oh, pardon me, Your Highness. I'm terribly sorry. 473 00:27:17,163 --> 00:27:20,223 I, uh, I nearly ran over you. 474 00:27:20,332 --> 00:27:22,562 Pardon me, Your Highness. 475 00:27:22,668 --> 00:27:24,693 I will forgive you if you make me a good wedding. 476 00:27:24,804 --> 00:27:26,635 Excuse me, sir. Are you the mayor? 477 00:27:26,739 --> 00:27:28,639 Uh, what is it? Could I speak to you for a moment, sir? 478 00:27:28,741 --> 00:27:31,505 Just one moment. Will you pardon me. Your Highness, pardon me. 479 00:27:31,610 --> 00:27:33,942 What is it? There's a certain young party, sir. 480 00:27:34,046 --> 00:27:36,105 She wants to get married. Well, uh... 481 00:27:36,215 --> 00:27:38,547 A scullery maid, sir, and the butler in the same house, sir. 482 00:27:38,651 --> 00:27:41,916 No, I can't do it. I'm afraid they'll elope unless we do something, sir. 483 00:27:42,021 --> 00:27:43,921 You know, what with springtime and everything, Your Honor. 484 00:27:44,023 --> 00:27:45,923 We'd hate to lose them. 485 00:27:46,025 --> 00:27:48,858 I have one waiting already at 3:30 and another one at 4:00. 486 00:27:48,961 --> 00:27:51,452 But it would only take a moment if Your Honor would just hit the high spots. 487 00:27:51,564 --> 00:27:53,623 No, no, no. I can't do it. I can't do it. 488 00:27:53,733 --> 00:27:56,201 Oh. Mm, yes. If you can make it quick. 489 00:27:56,302 --> 00:27:59,965 Bring 'em in the courtroom, but sneak 'em in the back way. 490 00:28:00,072 --> 00:28:02,302 If Your Highness will pardon me one second. 491 00:28:02,408 --> 00:28:04,376 Something very urgent came up. 492 00:28:04,477 --> 00:28:06,775 Excuse me. I beg your pardon. 493 00:28:08,314 --> 00:28:12,546 A little kitchen romance. It should be amusing. Let us watch. 494 00:28:12,651 --> 00:28:15,279 Your hat off, please. 495 00:28:15,387 --> 00:28:18,652 Right away I marry you in the courtroom. 496 00:28:18,758 --> 00:28:20,658 Uh-uh. Uh-uh. 497 00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:22,660 What? Uh-uh. 498 00:28:22,762 --> 00:28:24,730 Here? No, no. Not in here. 499 00:28:24,830 --> 00:28:27,025 Here is for the certificate only. 500 00:28:27,133 --> 00:28:30,466 The marriage is in the courtroom always. 501 00:28:30,569 --> 00:28:32,469 Can you write? 502 00:28:32,571 --> 00:28:34,562 Ja, ja. Oui, oui. Oui, oui. 503 00:28:34,673 --> 00:28:37,301 Si, senor. Uh-huh. 504 00:28:37,409 --> 00:28:39,309 Mm-hmm. All right, then. 505 00:28:39,411 --> 00:28:42,209 Then write here your names, please, right here. 506 00:29:05,004 --> 00:29:06,904 Uh, well, all right. 507 00:29:07,006 --> 00:29:10,533 Come on here. This way. The prince's guests are waiting. Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up. 508 00:29:17,516 --> 00:29:19,416 Do you take this man for your lawful, wedded husband... 509 00:29:19,518 --> 00:29:22,112 to live with him in sickness and in health... 510 00:29:22,221 --> 00:29:24,121 Do you promise to love one another... 511 00:29:24,223 --> 00:29:26,487 and cherish as long as you may live? 512 00:29:26,592 --> 00:29:28,958 Say yes! - I do. 513 00:29:29,061 --> 00:29:30,961 Now you. Don't let the people wait. 514 00:29:34,500 --> 00:29:36,593 Do you take this woman for your lawful, wedded wife... 515 00:29:41,173 --> 00:29:43,937 He won't be late, will he? 516 00:29:44,043 --> 00:29:46,375 I beg pardon, ma'am? He won't be late, will he? 517 00:29:46,478 --> 00:29:50,471 Oh, no, ma'am. In a manner of speaking, he's already here. 518 00:29:50,583 --> 00:29:52,983 You may now join hands. 519 00:29:53,085 --> 00:29:54,985 Hold hands! Don't we kneel? 520 00:29:55,087 --> 00:29:57,453 If you want to kneel, kneel. 521 00:29:59,291 --> 00:30:01,418 As evidence of these promises that you have made... 522 00:30:01,527 --> 00:30:04,621 Oh, we can skip that. 523 00:30:04,730 --> 00:30:06,630 Uh, by virtue of the power invested in me... 524 00:30:06,732 --> 00:30:08,632 and by virtue of the solemn promises you have made... 525 00:30:08,734 --> 00:30:11,032 I hereby pronounce you to be man and wife. 526 00:30:11,136 --> 00:30:16,597 You can rise now. It's all over. 527 00:30:16,709 --> 00:30:18,734 The bride... Let us kiss the bride. 528 00:30:20,713 --> 00:30:24,012 Hey, wait! Come on. We'll catch them outside. 529 00:30:24,116 --> 00:30:26,016 Come on! The prince is gonna kiss the bride. 530 00:30:26,118 --> 00:30:28,018 Come on! 531 00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:30,213 Oh! Ah! Ah! 532 00:30:33,525 --> 00:30:35,550 Come, madam, you must pay the penalty. Uh-uh! 533 00:30:35,661 --> 00:30:38,755 Max, help me, please. Oop-la! 534 00:30:38,864 --> 00:30:42,163 - Mickey! - Mickey! 535 00:30:45,004 --> 00:30:46,904 Let her alone! Ah? 536 00:30:47,006 --> 00:30:48,906 So. 537 00:30:55,147 --> 00:30:58,048 Your Highness! 538 00:30:58,150 --> 00:31:01,813 Are you all right? That car! I'll hold them off, sir! 539 00:31:01,921 --> 00:31:04,116 John! John! 540 00:31:04,223 --> 00:31:07,124 Good-bye! I'll send you a postcard! 541 00:31:09,929 --> 00:31:11,829 Your Highness! Wait for me! 542 00:31:14,233 --> 00:31:16,133 Take me with you! Take me with you! 543 00:31:16,235 --> 00:31:19,466 All right. Come on! Me too! She's my daughter! 544 00:31:38,991 --> 00:31:41,050 Yoo-hoo! Mickey! 545 00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:43,060 Where are you? Who is it? 546 00:31:44,697 --> 00:31:46,597 It's me. Henry! 547 00:31:46,699 --> 00:31:48,894 Well, what in the name of all get out are you doing here? 548 00:31:49,001 --> 00:31:50,901 Well, I came over on a cattle boat. 549 00:31:51,003 --> 00:31:53,198 I didn't get much sleep, though, on account of all the mooin'. 550 00:31:53,305 --> 00:31:55,398 Oh, Henry! 551 00:31:55,507 --> 00:31:57,407 Well, you ought to see the papers back home. 552 00:31:57,509 --> 00:32:00,069 They're just full of that stuff about you and that Prince "Smirkoff" fella. 553 00:32:00,179 --> 00:32:02,079 Oh, Henry! 554 00:32:02,181 --> 00:32:05,947 Well, nobody around here talks Texas, and I had an awful time findin' ya. 555 00:32:06,051 --> 00:32:07,951 But did I get here in time? Yes. Yes, Henry. 556 00:32:08,053 --> 00:32:10,578 I didn't marry Smirnov. Well, thank my lucky stars. 557 00:32:10,689 --> 00:32:14,750 I married Mr. Kidley. Huh? Who? Mr. Ki... Who's he? 558 00:32:14,860 --> 00:32:18,387 The bean man. L-I just met him. Oh, shucks! 559 00:32:18,497 --> 00:32:20,556 Well, what'd ya marry him for? 560 00:32:20,666 --> 00:32:22,725 Well, because I love you, Henry. 561 00:32:22,835 --> 00:32:26,362 Well, I may be just a country boy, but I can't figure that one out. 562 00:32:28,741 --> 00:32:30,902 Yeah, yeah! 563 00:32:31,010 --> 00:32:32,910 I'll be right out. I'll be right out. 564 00:32:33,012 --> 00:32:35,708 I gotta go, Henry. You gotta go? Where you goin'? 565 00:32:35,814 --> 00:32:37,714 On my honeymoon. Your honeymoon? 566 00:32:37,816 --> 00:32:39,716 Yeah. I can't explain now. Here. 567 00:32:39,818 --> 00:32:42,719 I can't explain now. We're goin' away someplace, and then Mr. Kidley's gonna die. 568 00:32:42,821 --> 00:32:44,721 Well, what kind of talkin' is that? 569 00:32:44,823 --> 00:32:47,917 Oh! Good-bye, Henry. Good-bye? 570 00:32:48,027 --> 00:32:52,123 Good-bye, Henry. I didn't come over here just to say good-bye! 571 00:32:58,504 --> 00:33:01,405 Okay, let's go. Hey, wait a minute! Wait a minute. 572 00:33:01,507 --> 00:33:03,441 Who's that? Oh, it's Henry. 573 00:33:03,542 --> 00:33:05,442 Isn't it wonderful? He's coming on our honeymoon. 574 00:33:05,544 --> 00:33:08,809 Oh. Huh? Oh, Henry, this is my husband, Mr. Kidley. 575 00:33:08,914 --> 00:33:11,610 Oh, how do you do, Henry? Right now I ain't doin' so good. 576 00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:43,981 Yes. Will you please come around this way? 577 00:33:45,484 --> 00:33:47,384 And sign on this line. 578 00:33:48,620 --> 00:33:53,887 "Mr. And Mrs. John Kidley." 579 00:33:53,992 --> 00:33:57,018 And for your servant, we have something in the rear. 580 00:33:57,129 --> 00:33:59,324 I ain't his servant. 581 00:33:59,431 --> 00:34:01,899 Oh, isn't that funny? He thought Henry was your servant. 582 00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:05,663 No, this is Mr. Henry Munch. The man Mrs. Kidley's gonna marry. 583 00:34:05,771 --> 00:34:09,571 Oh, Mr. Munch, Mr. Ingleborg personally welcomes... 584 00:34:09,675 --> 00:34:12,007 Marry? What is? 585 00:34:12,111 --> 00:34:14,978 Mr. Munch is Mrs. Kidley's fiance. 586 00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:17,742 Oh, Papa! 587 00:34:17,850 --> 00:34:21,081 Yes. Quiet, Mama. That is not our business. 588 00:34:21,186 --> 00:34:23,086 Julius, bring upstairs the bags. 589 00:34:23,188 --> 00:34:25,782 Come on, honey. 590 00:34:25,891 --> 00:34:28,724 I'll thank you not to call her honey, you understand? 591 00:34:28,827 --> 00:34:30,727 Why, Henry! 592 00:34:30,829 --> 00:34:33,263 Oh, isn't that sweet, Mr. Kidley? Henry's jealous! 593 00:34:33,365 --> 00:34:36,562 Cuckoo, darling. There's something funny up. 594 00:34:36,668 --> 00:34:40,365 Ah, Mama, those Americans are always joking. 595 00:34:47,146 --> 00:34:51,446 Oh, Henry, that moon. 596 00:34:51,550 --> 00:34:53,450 Look at the moon. 597 00:34:53,552 --> 00:34:55,577 Yeah, it's big. 598 00:34:55,687 --> 00:35:00,147 And those mountains. Yeah. Kinda high. 599 00:35:00,259 --> 00:35:02,159 No, Henry, it's more than that. 600 00:35:02,261 --> 00:35:04,559 It... Well, look at 'em. 601 00:35:04,663 --> 00:35:06,688 Well, we got a mountain in Texas. 602 00:35:07,900 --> 00:35:09,800 But Henry! 603 00:35:09,902 --> 00:35:11,802 This place... 604 00:35:11,904 --> 00:35:13,804 This night... 605 00:35:13,906 --> 00:35:17,103 The smell of lilac. 606 00:35:17,209 --> 00:35:19,439 And you sit there whittlin' on a hunk of wood. 607 00:35:19,545 --> 00:35:22,013 Well, what should I be whittlin' on? 608 00:35:22,114 --> 00:35:25,345 Well, gee, Henry, this is the first time we've ever been alone together... 609 00:35:25,450 --> 00:35:27,441 I mean, away from Pa. 610 00:35:27,553 --> 00:35:29,453 Put your arm around me, Henry. 611 00:35:29,555 --> 00:35:31,853 Please. 612 00:35:31,957 --> 00:35:33,857 Now kiss me. 613 00:35:39,097 --> 00:35:41,327 Henry, that's no way to do it! 614 00:35:41,433 --> 00:35:43,799 I mean, kiss me as if you liked it... as if you meant it. 615 00:35:43,902 --> 00:35:47,599 Oh, I can't do it. My heart ain't in it. Why not? 616 00:35:47,706 --> 00:35:50,903 Well, I can't get it outta my mind that I'm... 617 00:35:51,009 --> 00:35:53,671 Well, that I'm kissin' somebody else's wife. 618 00:35:53,779 --> 00:35:56,247 Makes me feel like one of them playboys. 619 00:36:07,259 --> 00:36:09,352 Hey, Henry, can you still imitate a horse? 620 00:36:09,461 --> 00:36:11,554 Oh, I guess I could if I tried. 621 00:36:11,663 --> 00:36:14,689 Go on, do it. Go on. Oh, no. That's kid stuff. 622 00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:17,325 Aw, go on, Henry. Just one little horse, please. 623 00:36:17,436 --> 00:36:20,428 Well, all right. Just once. Yeah, yeah. 624 00:36:29,548 --> 00:36:31,846 I love it. Come on. Do it again, Henry. 625 00:36:36,455 --> 00:36:40,687 Look, Mama. The moon out and everything, and he makes like a horse. 626 00:36:42,294 --> 00:36:44,194 Oh! 627 00:36:44,296 --> 00:36:46,196 Oh, Mickey? Oh, pardon me. 628 00:36:46,298 --> 00:36:48,198 I didn't mean to... 629 00:36:48,300 --> 00:36:51,701 I just came out. I thought it was just about time for me to kick off. 630 00:36:51,803 --> 00:36:54,397 What? I mean, turn in. Go to bed. 631 00:36:54,506 --> 00:36:57,031 Oh. Good night, Mickey. 632 00:36:57,142 --> 00:36:59,474 Good night, Henry. Good night! 633 00:36:59,578 --> 00:37:01,944 Oh, Mr. Kidley, wait a minute. I'm coming right in. 634 00:37:03,315 --> 00:37:05,442 Good night, Henry. And I'll see you in the morning. 635 00:37:05,550 --> 00:37:07,518 Good night. You'll see me in the morn... 636 00:37:07,619 --> 00:37:09,519 Hey, you! 637 00:37:09,621 --> 00:37:11,714 L-I'll tuck you in, huh? Oh, thank you. 638 00:37:11,823 --> 00:37:15,054 Oh, that's all right. I want you to feel nice and comfortable. 639 00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:17,958 It's full of feathers. Oh, yeah? 640 00:37:18,063 --> 00:37:19,928 Hey! 641 00:37:20,032 --> 00:37:23,524 Oh, Henry, doesn't Mr. Kidley look cute in his pajamas? 642 00:37:23,635 --> 00:37:27,162 Well, yeah, but... He looks so cute. 643 00:37:27,272 --> 00:37:29,740 Uh... 644 00:37:29,841 --> 00:37:31,741 Mr. Kidley, we gotta have a talk. 645 00:37:31,843 --> 00:37:34,277 All right, Henry. We'll talk in the morning. I've had a hard day. 646 00:37:34,379 --> 00:37:36,870 Well, in the morning won't do, Mr. Kidley. 647 00:37:36,982 --> 00:37:40,543 Well, what is it? What is it? Well, I ain't happy. 648 00:37:40,652 --> 00:37:42,552 Why, Henry, just a minute ago you were swell... 649 00:37:42,654 --> 00:37:44,554 when you were acting like a horse. 650 00:37:44,656 --> 00:37:47,284 Well, I ain't the beating-around-the-bush kind of guy. 651 00:37:47,392 --> 00:37:49,622 If I got anything on my mind, I spit it out. 652 00:37:49,728 --> 00:37:51,593 Now, Henry, don't be that way. 653 00:37:51,697 --> 00:37:53,790 Mr. Kidley hasn't long to be with us. 654 00:37:53,899 --> 00:37:55,799 He hasn't long to be with us. 655 00:37:55,901 --> 00:37:58,131 And it's our duty to see that he's happy and... 656 00:37:58,236 --> 00:38:01,933 Happy? Well, what difference does it make to you whether he's happy or not? 657 00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:05,271 Well, after all, Henry, I am Mrs. Kidley. 658 00:38:05,377 --> 00:38:08,972 And I always say that a wife's place is in the home. Listen! 659 00:38:09,081 --> 00:38:12,073 Oh, Henry, you don't have to worry about me. 660 00:38:12,184 --> 00:38:14,175 Why, one of these mornings you'll wake up and... 661 00:38:14,286 --> 00:38:17,221 Pfft. I'll be gone. 662 00:38:17,322 --> 00:38:21,383 Mr. Kidley, I been watchin' you mighty close here of late... 663 00:38:21,493 --> 00:38:25,429 and all I got to say is that you ain't been livin' up to your promise. 664 00:38:25,530 --> 00:38:27,498 You ain't gettin' any smaller. 665 00:38:40,679 --> 00:38:42,579 Uh, who's there? 666 00:38:42,681 --> 00:38:45,149 Oh, come in. 667 00:38:47,018 --> 00:38:50,385 Good morning! Good morning! 668 00:38:50,489 --> 00:38:53,947 Well, Mama Ingleborg has fixed the breakfast herself. 669 00:38:54,059 --> 00:38:55,959 Oh, that's fine. Hey, breakfast! 670 00:38:56,061 --> 00:38:58,996 Yes, a very special breakfast... 671 00:38:59,097 --> 00:39:01,657 for our two little dummelflumphes. 672 00:39:02,767 --> 00:39:05,197 Well, that's very nice of Mama, Mr. Ingleborg. 673 00:39:05,303 --> 00:39:08,602 Yes, it sure is! Ah! 674 00:39:13,445 --> 00:39:17,404 What sticks in my craw is, everything he says is so wonderful... 675 00:39:17,516 --> 00:39:20,644 but everything I say it's, "Oh, Henry, oh, Henry, oh, Henry." 676 00:39:20,752 --> 00:39:24,188 Oh! Now, Henry, don't talk that way about Mr. Kidley. 677 00:39:24,289 --> 00:39:27,053 Oh, shucks. 678 00:39:27,159 --> 00:39:29,787 Look! He's getting that flower just for me. Risking his life. 679 00:39:29,895 --> 00:39:31,795 Oh! 680 00:39:38,470 --> 00:39:41,166 I got it! 681 00:39:41,273 --> 00:39:43,173 Careful! Careful! 682 00:39:43,275 --> 00:39:45,709 Oh, that ain't nothin'. 683 00:39:45,811 --> 00:39:48,678 I'd take a chance at breakin' my neck, too, if I knew I was gonna die. 684 00:39:48,780 --> 00:39:50,941 Gee, thanks. 685 00:39:51,049 --> 00:39:53,244 Aw. 686 00:39:53,351 --> 00:39:56,787 Well, there it is. Oh, thanks, Mr. Kidley. 687 00:39:56,888 --> 00:39:59,880 For you. In the words of the poet, "You are like a flower." 688 00:39:59,991 --> 00:40:02,357 Oh, Mr. Kidley, that's so sweet. 689 00:40:02,461 --> 00:40:05,692 That's just like in the movies. Yeah. 690 00:40:05,797 --> 00:40:07,697 Well, it was original with me at the moment. 691 00:40:07,799 --> 00:40:10,529 Let me help you, Mr. Kidley. You must be a little tired. 692 00:40:10,635 --> 00:40:13,365 Let's sit down and rest a minute, huh? Yeah. 693 00:40:13,472 --> 00:40:15,372 Huh? Huh-uh. 694 00:40:17,042 --> 00:40:19,909 I guess I'll run along to the hotel. You and Henry want to be alone. 695 00:40:20,011 --> 00:40:23,378 The minute you do, he'll just start whittling. Oh, that's fine talk. 696 00:40:23,482 --> 00:40:25,677 A fella can whittle and still be in love, I guess. 697 00:40:25,784 --> 00:40:29,015 He don't have to go around shouting that poetry muck all day. 698 00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:31,850 Oh, Henry, that's where you're wrong. Women are romantic, sentimental. 699 00:40:31,957 --> 00:40:34,517 It's up to us men to humor 'em... say pretty things. 700 00:40:34,626 --> 00:40:36,560 Oh, I suppose you could give me a lesson. 701 00:40:36,661 --> 00:40:38,561 Oh, I bet you'd be good at it too. 702 00:40:38,663 --> 00:40:40,563 Well, I have kind of been around. 703 00:40:40,665 --> 00:40:42,565 Frankly, Henry, I think you could use a few lessons. 704 00:40:42,667 --> 00:40:44,567 For instance? Well, for a starter... 705 00:40:44,669 --> 00:40:46,830 Supposing you were going to take a girl in your arms. Uh-huh. 706 00:40:46,938 --> 00:40:49,031 Now you hold her tenderly... gently. 707 00:40:49,140 --> 00:40:51,335 Yeah, Henry, you handle me as if I was a bus. 708 00:40:51,443 --> 00:40:53,673 Oh, bosh! Now, watch, Henry. 709 00:40:53,778 --> 00:40:57,305 Now, supposing I'm you. You hold her like this, and then you kiss her. 710 00:40:57,415 --> 00:40:59,280 Oh. 711 00:41:00,819 --> 00:41:02,719 You see, Henry? 712 00:41:02,821 --> 00:41:05,051 Uh-uh. No. No? 713 00:41:05,156 --> 00:41:08,148 No? Well, show him again, Mr. Kidley. All right. 714 00:41:08,260 --> 00:41:11,559 Wait a minute. Here. Thank you. 715 00:41:11,663 --> 00:41:13,858 Ooh! Oh, pardon me. 716 00:41:21,439 --> 00:41:24,738 There. Now you do it, Henry. I'll sit here and watch. 717 00:41:24,843 --> 00:41:29,280 No, sir. I don't have to kiss my girl in front of a whole crowd of people. 718 00:41:29,381 --> 00:41:31,679 Well, it's only Mr. Kidley, Henry. No. 719 00:41:31,783 --> 00:41:34,752 Aw, come on. Please? Oh, all right. 720 00:41:38,189 --> 00:41:41,784 Uh-uh. Well, I can't get started. 721 00:41:41,893 --> 00:41:44,885 Maybe you haven't turned on your ignition. Oh! 722 00:41:47,499 --> 00:41:50,059 There! No, that's not it, Henry. 723 00:41:50,168 --> 00:41:52,693 Would you show him again, please, Mr. Kidley? - Oh, of course. 724 00:41:52,804 --> 00:41:54,704 Anything at all. Here. Hold that. Just a moment. 725 00:41:57,842 --> 00:42:00,504 Any time you get the idea, Henry, just cut in. 726 00:42:02,047 --> 00:42:05,312 Well, I don't see that he's doin' anything that I didn't do. 727 00:42:05,417 --> 00:42:08,909 Well, it's just something or other that I can't explain, Henry. 728 00:42:09,020 --> 00:42:12,080 When he does it, it's like a bunch of trained wildcats... 729 00:42:12,190 --> 00:42:15,455 but when you do it, it's more like wild mice. 730 00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:17,460 Yeah. Oh, well, I watched him close... 731 00:42:17,562 --> 00:42:19,587 and I did everything that he did... 732 00:42:19,698 --> 00:42:24,260 and I'll bet you if you had your eyes closed you couldn't tell us apart. 733 00:42:24,369 --> 00:42:26,428 All right, Henry. I'll prove it to you. 734 00:42:26,538 --> 00:42:28,438 Somebody give me a hankie. You got a hankie? 735 00:42:28,540 --> 00:42:30,440 Oh, yes, I have one here. 736 00:42:30,542 --> 00:42:33,375 No! Her, her, her! 737 00:42:33,478 --> 00:42:35,378 Oh, pardon me. Pardon me. 738 00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:37,380 All right, now I'll tie this tight. 739 00:42:37,482 --> 00:42:39,814 Now you come around in front, Mr. Kidley. All right. 740 00:42:39,918 --> 00:42:41,909 And the both of you step back now. 741 00:42:42,020 --> 00:42:43,920 And then you sneak up one at a time and kiss me... 742 00:42:44,022 --> 00:42:45,922 and I'll tell you just who it is. 743 00:42:46,024 --> 00:42:49,323 All right, step back. Go on, go on. 744 00:42:54,132 --> 00:42:56,032 Well, don't go away. 745 00:42:56,134 --> 00:42:58,034 Okay. Now, I'll count up to ten... 746 00:42:58,136 --> 00:43:00,036 and then one of you come up and kiss me. 747 00:43:00,138 --> 00:43:05,201 All right. One, two, three... 748 00:43:06,311 --> 00:43:08,176 four... 749 00:43:08,279 --> 00:43:10,406 five... 750 00:43:10,515 --> 00:43:14,383 six, seven, eight... 751 00:43:14,486 --> 00:43:16,454 nine, ten. 752 00:43:16,554 --> 00:43:20,217 You ready? Well, come on. 753 00:43:23,461 --> 00:43:25,361 That's Henry. 754 00:43:27,265 --> 00:43:30,063 That's Mr. Kidley. 755 00:43:30,168 --> 00:43:33,228 Ready again. 756 00:43:33,338 --> 00:43:35,101 That's Henry. 757 00:43:37,075 --> 00:43:38,975 That's Mr. Kidley. 758 00:43:41,846 --> 00:43:45,304 That's Henry, still handling me like I was a bus. 759 00:43:48,853 --> 00:43:50,912 Why, Henry, how dare you take your shirt off. 760 00:43:51,022 --> 00:43:52,922 I'm surprised, l... 761 00:43:56,995 --> 00:44:02,865 Mr. Kidley! Henry! 762 00:44:15,580 --> 00:44:17,946 Yes, sir. I can leave immediately, sir. 763 00:44:18,049 --> 00:44:20,950 Just a minute, sir. I'll write it down. 764 00:44:22,387 --> 00:44:24,981 "Ingleborg Haus... 765 00:44:27,625 --> 00:44:29,786 Ingleborg." 766 00:44:29,894 --> 00:44:32,192 I've got it, sir. 767 00:44:32,297 --> 00:44:34,697 Forgive the liberty, sir, but, uh... 768 00:44:34,799 --> 00:44:37,063 how is everything? 769 00:44:37,168 --> 00:44:39,102 Oh? 770 00:44:39,204 --> 00:44:41,502 Oh? 771 00:44:41,606 --> 00:44:43,506 No? 772 00:44:43,608 --> 00:44:45,508 Oh. 773 00:44:45,610 --> 00:44:49,410 Well, don't forget, sir, the bird on the wing and all that. 774 00:44:49,514 --> 00:44:52,039 No, sir, no one but Dr. Schmidt. 775 00:44:55,019 --> 00:44:57,579 Oh, he wants to know if, when it happens... 776 00:44:57,689 --> 00:44:59,884 he can have your stomach. 777 00:44:59,991 --> 00:45:02,619 Wants to put it in a bottle or something. 778 00:45:02,727 --> 00:45:06,128 Yes, I told him I'd have to ask you first, sir. 779 00:45:06,231 --> 00:45:08,529 Don't worry, sir. I'll travel incognito. 780 00:45:08,633 --> 00:45:13,002 Oh, Mrs. Marko found her car, sir, just where you abandoned it. 781 00:45:14,372 --> 00:45:17,569 Oh, no, sir. Not a soul knows of your whereabouts. 782 00:45:17,675 --> 00:45:21,236 But I've got it... "Ingleborg Haus." 783 00:45:21,346 --> 00:45:23,610 At last I have got it! 784 00:45:23,715 --> 00:45:26,183 Ingleborg Haus. Where's that? 785 00:45:27,952 --> 00:45:29,852 Ingleborg! 786 00:45:29,954 --> 00:45:31,979 Thank you, dear. Come on, let's go. Hurry! 787 00:45:44,302 --> 00:45:47,738 Hey, don't you think it's about time we ought to go to bed? 788 00:45:47,839 --> 00:45:51,434 Huh? Oh. Oh. 789 00:45:51,543 --> 00:45:54,740 Hey! Hey! 790 00:46:31,816 --> 00:46:36,048 ? Once a little tra la la met a great big oompah-pah? 791 00:46:36,154 --> 00:46:40,853 ? She looked up and said "Aha, you're the one for me"? 792 00:46:40,959 --> 00:46:45,157 ? Then the little tra la la kissed the great big oompah-pah? 793 00:46:45,263 --> 00:46:48,926 ? Then the village orchestra played in harmony? 794 00:46:49,033 --> 00:46:51,399 Now, Mickey... ? One day? 795 00:46:51,502 --> 00:46:53,834 ? In springtime? 796 00:46:53,938 --> 00:46:56,998 ? Their love dream came true? 797 00:46:57,108 --> 00:46:58,939 Now, Mick... 798 00:46:59,043 --> 00:47:02,774 ? Church bells were ringing? 799 00:47:02,881 --> 00:47:05,611 ? When the tra la la Oompah-pah? 800 00:47:05,717 --> 00:47:07,912 ? Said "I do"? 801 00:47:08,019 --> 00:47:12,388 ? Now the little tra la la has a little oompah-pah? 802 00:47:12,490 --> 00:47:16,756 ? He can only say "da da" but his ma and pa? 803 00:47:16,861 --> 00:47:20,922 ? Hope that he will grow to be a great big oompah-pah? 804 00:47:21,032 --> 00:47:23,398 Oi! 805 00:47:23,501 --> 00:47:25,560 Now, see here. L... Shh! 806 00:47:25,670 --> 00:47:29,333 ? Once a little tra la la met a great big oompah-pah? 807 00:47:29,440 --> 00:47:34,036 ? She looked up and said "Aha, you're... no, you're the one for me"? 808 00:47:34,145 --> 00:47:38,445 ? Then the little tra la la kissed the great big oompah-pah? 809 00:47:38,549 --> 00:47:40,746 ? Then the village orchestra played in harmony? 810 00:47:40,946 --> 00:47:43,144 ? Then the village orchestra played in harmony? 811 00:47:43,254 --> 00:47:47,213 ? One day in springtime? 812 00:47:47,325 --> 00:47:50,817 ? Their love dream came true? 813 00:47:52,397 --> 00:47:56,390 ? Church bells were ringing? 814 00:47:56,501 --> 00:47:59,026 ? When the tra la la Oompah-pah? 815 00:47:59,137 --> 00:48:01,435 ? Said "I do"? 816 00:48:01,539 --> 00:48:05,942 ? Now the little tra la la has a little oompah-pah? 817 00:48:06,044 --> 00:48:10,344 ? He can only say "da da" but his ma and pa? 818 00:48:10,448 --> 00:48:13,576 ? Hope that he will grow to be? 819 00:48:13,685 --> 00:48:15,846 ? Tra la la? 820 00:48:15,954 --> 00:48:17,979 ? Oompah-pah? 821 00:48:18,089 --> 00:48:21,547 ? Hope that he will grow to be? 822 00:48:21,659 --> 00:48:25,993 ? A great big oompah-pah? 823 00:48:26,097 --> 00:48:28,759 Stop it, now. Stop it. 824 00:48:33,871 --> 00:48:35,930 Yahoo! Yippee! 825 00:48:39,644 --> 00:48:42,374 Just stop it! 826 00:48:44,482 --> 00:48:46,746 Stop it! Stop it. 827 00:48:46,851 --> 00:48:49,684 Oh. 'Scuze, please. 828 00:48:49,787 --> 00:48:54,952 Mr. Kidley, what do you mean by traipsing around with my girl past 1:00 in the morning? 829 00:48:55,059 --> 00:48:57,323 Oh, we never had such a time, Henry. We went to a cheese festival. 830 00:48:57,428 --> 00:48:59,396 Yeah, we had wine and cheese. And singing. 831 00:48:59,497 --> 00:49:03,900 Cheese festival? Well, that ain't cheese, Mr. Kidley. 832 00:49:04,002 --> 00:49:06,493 Oh. Oh, that. You see, we stopped... 833 00:49:06,604 --> 00:49:09,437 Oh, yeah, Henry. We stopped and just now... 834 00:49:09,540 --> 00:49:11,508 when I was singin' the song I gave him a little, uh... 835 00:49:11,609 --> 00:49:14,100 l... Well, you were right there. I mean, l-l... 836 00:49:14,212 --> 00:49:16,612 Now, Mickey, hush. I've heard enough. 837 00:49:16,714 --> 00:49:19,046 Now, you run right along upstairs to bed. 838 00:49:19,150 --> 00:49:21,710 Mickey. Mickey. But l... 839 00:49:21,819 --> 00:49:24,515 But l... Henry, you can't order your wife around like that. 840 00:49:24,622 --> 00:49:27,989 Oh, I can't, huh? Well, she ain't my wife, she's your wife. 841 00:49:28,092 --> 00:49:30,219 Y... Oh, yeah! 842 00:49:30,328 --> 00:49:33,229 Say, thanks for reminding me. Mickey, go to bed. 843 00:49:33,331 --> 00:49:35,231 Oh. Mickey... Heh! 844 00:49:35,333 --> 00:49:37,961 Good night, boys. 845 00:49:38,069 --> 00:49:39,969 Good night. Good night, Mickey. 846 00:49:40,071 --> 00:49:42,471 Well, I guess that's all, men. Here you are. Thanks. 847 00:49:42,573 --> 00:49:45,167 We'll get Mrs. Kidley and do it again sometime. Okay. 848 00:49:45,276 --> 00:49:48,871 Oh, no, you won't. Now that she's gone I wanna tell you... 849 00:49:48,980 --> 00:49:53,076 you're mighty fortunate I just don't tear you to pieces. Why, Henry. 850 00:49:53,184 --> 00:49:56,119 And with my bare hands. 851 00:49:56,220 --> 00:49:59,053 'Scuze, please, she must close. Well, close it. 852 00:49:59,157 --> 00:50:01,557 Now, wait a minute. I was just going... 853 00:50:01,659 --> 00:50:06,358 Listen to me. As long as you're in Ingleborg, you're not gettin' out of my sight again. 854 00:50:06,464 --> 00:50:09,331 No, sir. Not for two seconds. 855 00:50:48,239 --> 00:50:52,175 - Hey, where do you think you're goin'? - Oh, l... 856 00:50:52,276 --> 00:50:55,871 Drink. I was gonna get some water. I was... 857 00:50:55,980 --> 00:50:58,312 Well, you've been up for water every two minutes. 858 00:50:58,416 --> 00:51:01,010 Well, I'll tell you truth. I wanna see Mickey. 859 00:51:01,119 --> 00:51:04,282 I've got somethin' to tell her. A man can talk to his own wife, can't he? 860 00:51:04,388 --> 00:51:08,848 No! - I know what's the matter with you. You don't trust me. 861 00:51:08,960 --> 00:51:11,019 You're darn tootin' I don't. 862 00:51:11,129 --> 00:51:14,860 Now, I don't want any trouble with you. You get back here in bed. 863 00:51:16,968 --> 00:51:19,493 You and your old whittlin's. 864 00:51:19,604 --> 00:51:21,902 I'd rather sleep with a cracker eater. 865 00:51:22,006 --> 00:51:24,236 It's not comfortable. Oh. 866 00:51:43,528 --> 00:51:47,521 Oh, now, wait a minute. Just a second. I have a little something to say about this. 867 00:51:47,632 --> 00:51:50,692 L... What are you doin'? 868 00:51:50,801 --> 00:51:52,996 There. That'll fix that. 869 00:51:53,104 --> 00:51:55,231 Oh, Henry, this is so unjust. 870 00:51:57,909 --> 00:52:00,241 Not so tight. Leave a little blood in there. 871 00:52:00,344 --> 00:52:04,474 There. My circulation is practically at a standstill now. 872 00:52:04,582 --> 00:52:06,482 Now hush. 873 00:53:47,151 --> 00:53:49,085 Good night. Good night. 874 00:53:51,222 --> 00:53:53,713 I'm gonna put my foot on top of yours... 875 00:53:54,959 --> 00:53:57,689 and don't you move once the rest of the night. 876 00:54:10,975 --> 00:54:13,273 Hello. Hey, Julius. 877 00:54:15,146 --> 00:54:17,512 Would you like to make five bucks? Fifty samelkas? 878 00:54:17,615 --> 00:54:20,049 Well, what do I have to do for... Shh, shh! 879 00:54:20,151 --> 00:54:23,177 Take off your shoe. I wanna use your foot. 880 00:54:23,287 --> 00:54:25,380 My feet? Shh. Foot. Come on. 881 00:55:27,752 --> 00:55:30,880 Honey? You're not asleep, are ya? 882 00:55:30,988 --> 00:55:32,888 Honey? 883 00:55:32,990 --> 00:55:35,823 I've gotta talk to ya. 884 00:55:35,926 --> 00:55:39,225 Maybe I've got no right, but after tonight, well... 885 00:55:39,330 --> 00:55:44,097 no matter who gets hurt, we've gotta face it: We belong to each other. 886 00:55:44,201 --> 00:55:46,533 Honey, please talk to me. 887 00:55:46,637 --> 00:55:49,435 You see, Mickey, l... 888 00:55:49,540 --> 00:55:51,667 Gee, you look tired. I gue... 889 00:55:55,079 --> 00:55:57,673 Listen, Mama... 890 00:56:00,818 --> 00:56:03,878 Mr. Kidley! Please! 891 00:56:03,988 --> 00:56:07,287 Well l... I gue... I was... And... 892 00:56:07,391 --> 00:56:09,291 I was... 893 00:56:10,294 --> 00:56:13,457 Ye... Wrong room, I guess. 894 00:56:38,456 --> 00:56:40,356 You... 895 00:56:44,762 --> 00:56:48,664 Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! 896 00:56:48,766 --> 00:56:51,257 Now, you all got to stop pickin' on Mr. Kidley. 897 00:56:51,368 --> 00:56:55,429 It's like he's been tryin' to tell ya, he's sittin' here digestin' himself. 898 00:56:55,539 --> 00:56:58,872 And if you don't stop screamin' at him, it's liable to happen right here... 899 00:56:58,976 --> 00:57:01,342 and then you'll be sorry. I don't care! 900 00:57:01,445 --> 00:57:04,039 I don't care if he's digesting his entire family! 901 00:57:04,148 --> 00:57:07,584 I am insulted! I am the one that is being squeezed. 902 00:57:07,685 --> 00:57:10,119 Right under my nose, on my own wedding day... 903 00:57:10,221 --> 00:57:12,621 she marries this gentleman in the red pajamas. 904 00:57:12,723 --> 00:57:16,921 Then when he goes pfft, she marries this gentleman in the striped pajamas. 905 00:57:17,027 --> 00:57:21,123 And where am I? I am standing around with egg on my face! 906 00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:27,130 And if he has egg on his face, somebody's tossed a whole omelette on mine. 907 00:57:27,238 --> 00:57:30,571 I don't like it. Oh, but Mr. Kidley doesn't love you. 908 00:57:30,674 --> 00:57:34,110 Look what he did: Rather than marry you, he married me. 909 00:57:34,211 --> 00:57:38,272 Yeah, that's the part of this whole thing that burns me up. 910 00:57:38,382 --> 00:57:42,944 Mr. Kidley, what I wanna know is what're you gonna do about this mess you got us into? 911 00:57:43,053 --> 00:57:45,681 Yeah! Well, it's all very simple. 912 00:57:45,789 --> 00:57:48,451 You're all taken care of in my will. How so? 913 00:57:48,559 --> 00:57:53,189 Henry, I'm not gonna waste a lot of time telling you how much I admire you, because I don't. 914 00:57:53,297 --> 00:57:56,698 But I'm gonna leave you enough money to choke a horse, and I hope it does choke ya. 915 00:57:56,800 --> 00:57:59,735 Mr. Kidley, I resent that! 916 00:57:59,837 --> 00:58:03,466 We are now where we started, still with egg over my face. 917 00:58:03,574 --> 00:58:05,974 I know. I'm wiping that off in paragraph three. 918 00:58:06,076 --> 00:58:09,534 Marriage with you is a business proposition, and I've ruined your business. 919 00:58:09,647 --> 00:58:14,710 So I'm prepared to marry you. I mean, Pay you off in full. 920 00:58:14,818 --> 00:58:19,517 Mr. Kidley, Prince Alexis Cassandro Michael Smirnov thanks you. 921 00:58:22,693 --> 00:58:26,527 I do not wish to talk like a peasant, but there is something that I must know. 922 00:58:26,630 --> 00:58:29,497 Tell me, how soon do you expect to go pfft? 923 00:58:29,600 --> 00:58:32,967 Poor Mr. Kidley's only 18 days left. Haven't you, poor Mr. Kidley? 924 00:58:33,070 --> 00:58:35,402 Yes, any time now. It's... Good. Good. 925 00:58:35,506 --> 00:58:37,565 What do you mean, "good"? 926 00:58:37,675 --> 00:58:41,236 There's a little thing known as breach of promise. You won't mind if I send my lawyers? 927 00:58:41,345 --> 00:58:44,280 That won't be necessary. I've taken care of that in paragraph six. 928 00:58:44,381 --> 00:58:47,646 You go out and buy yourself a nice solid-gold shooting gallery. 929 00:58:47,751 --> 00:58:51,152 Oh, John! I'm sentimentally touched. 930 00:58:51,255 --> 00:58:54,349 I'll see that they put flowers on you every Father's Day. Yes, l... 931 00:58:54,458 --> 00:58:57,052 She probably gets 'em wholesale. What I want to know is... 932 00:58:57,161 --> 00:59:01,325 Shut up, Henry. Mr. Kidley, I guess this just about takes care of everything. 933 00:59:01,432 --> 00:59:04,162 Yes. Folks, let's get out of here and leave the honeymooners alone. 934 00:59:04,268 --> 00:59:06,600 Come on, Henry. Well, I'm one of the honeymooners! 935 00:59:06,704 --> 00:59:09,935 Oh, shut up and get outta here! All of my clothes are... 936 00:59:10,040 --> 00:59:11,940 Oh. 937 00:59:12,042 --> 00:59:16,138 Mr. Kidley... you have promised me to die. 938 00:59:16,246 --> 00:59:20,615 I am warning you that I will be around personally to see that you do it. 939 00:59:28,025 --> 00:59:29,993 Henry... 940 00:59:30,094 --> 00:59:32,153 I may call you Henry, mayn't I? 941 00:59:32,262 --> 00:59:35,527 Yes, ma'am, and I'll call you Mrs. Marko. 942 00:59:35,633 --> 00:59:38,033 Well, Henry, when Mr. Kidley... 943 00:59:38,135 --> 00:59:42,196 I mean, when it happens, you'll come into quite a tidy sum, won't you, Henry? 944 00:59:42,306 --> 00:59:44,331 Mm... Yes, ma'am, I guess I will. 945 00:59:44,441 --> 00:59:49,071 Dear Henry, I want you and Mrs. Kidley to be very happy. 946 00:59:49,179 --> 00:59:51,807 If things don't work out, it may make it easier for you to know... 947 00:59:51,915 --> 00:59:55,146 that there'll always be someone waiting for you. 948 00:59:55,252 --> 00:59:57,482 There will? 949 00:59:57,588 --> 01:00:01,581 Oh. You're a very attractive man, Henry. 950 01:00:01,692 --> 01:00:04,092 I mustn't say any more than that right now. 951 01:00:04,194 --> 01:00:07,254 Well, you're kind of pretty yourself, Mrs. Marko. 952 01:00:07,364 --> 01:00:09,696 That's sweet of you. 953 01:00:09,800 --> 01:00:13,634 Henry, if you don't mind my suggesting it, I could have my lawyers... 954 01:00:13,737 --> 01:00:16,433 they're very good... go over Mr. Kidley's will. 955 01:00:16,540 --> 01:00:18,701 Just watching out for your interests. 956 01:00:18,809 --> 01:00:23,712 Well, doggone it, ma'am... and me just meetin' ya... that sure is kind. 957 01:00:23,814 --> 01:00:25,714 Mighty kind. 958 01:00:30,421 --> 01:00:32,753 Good morning, ma'am. Good morning, sir. 959 01:00:32,856 --> 01:00:34,756 Good morning, Jeepers. 960 01:00:34,858 --> 01:00:37,850 Your mail, sir, from Bad Gaswasser. Just throw it away. 961 01:00:37,961 --> 01:00:40,054 Oh, but, sir, there may be something important. 962 01:00:40,164 --> 01:00:42,632 Nothing is important, Jeepers, but living. 963 01:00:42,733 --> 01:00:46,396 That's the spirit, sir. I noticed a change in you the moment I arrived. 964 01:00:46,503 --> 01:00:48,767 Yes, you can thank Mickey for that. Thank you, Mickey... 965 01:00:48,872 --> 01:00:51,272 Uh, Mrs. Kidley. Okay, Jeepers. 966 01:00:51,375 --> 01:00:54,867 Yes, sir, if I may say so, you're bubbling over, sir... just bubbling over. 967 01:00:54,978 --> 01:00:57,208 That's the coffee, Jeepers. Oh. 968 01:00:57,314 --> 01:01:00,579 Uh, Jeepers, will you order some more heavy cream? 969 01:01:01,685 --> 01:01:04,449 Very good, sir. 970 01:01:04,555 --> 01:01:08,389 ? One day in springtime their love dream came true? 971 01:01:08,492 --> 01:01:13,623 Mr. Kidley, isn't there somethin' that you get a great big kick out of doin'? 972 01:01:13,731 --> 01:01:17,258 I mean, there's not much time before you D-l-E. 973 01:01:19,403 --> 01:01:23,499 And I just want you to remember these last few days as long as you live. 974 01:01:23,607 --> 01:01:26,303 Well, there's one... Let's see... 975 01:01:26,410 --> 01:01:29,311 Do you mind if I write on this? It's from that druggist. What druggist? 976 01:01:29,413 --> 01:01:31,313 You know, in Bad Gaswasser. 977 01:01:31,415 --> 01:01:34,407 He probably wants to sell me something. "Kipper, a dog." 978 01:01:34,518 --> 01:01:37,316 Yeah, yeah. He wants to sell you a dog. 979 01:01:37,421 --> 01:01:41,721 Say, that's a pretty hairdo. Thank you. 980 01:01:41,825 --> 01:01:46,421 Well, we're going to figure out right now what to do with your last 18 days. 981 01:01:46,530 --> 01:01:49,931 Uh... Have you ever seen the Sphinx? No. Is it good? 982 01:01:50,033 --> 01:01:53,025 Well, we're gonna see it. We? Henry too? 983 01:01:53,137 --> 01:01:58,074 No, we don't want him around our Sphinx. He'll only start whittlin' on it. 984 01:01:58,175 --> 01:02:00,234 Sphinx. One day. 985 01:02:01,478 --> 01:02:03,605 What's he so sorry about? 986 01:02:03,714 --> 01:02:07,309 What's who what? This druggist. He sure is sorry. 987 01:02:07,417 --> 01:02:10,284 "Had your acidity test mixed with a dog's... Kipper." 988 01:02:10,387 --> 01:02:14,824 Say, I know where we could spend about six days. There must be a bicycle race around here. 989 01:02:14,925 --> 01:02:17,052 Mr. Kidley, listen. Huh? 990 01:02:17,161 --> 01:02:21,825 Listen. "Kipper, whose name sounds not unlike your own"... 991 01:02:21,932 --> 01:02:26,733 Mr. Kidley, Kipper's a dog. You're not. 992 01:02:26,837 --> 01:02:29,237 What? Well, I mean, it... 993 01:02:29,339 --> 01:02:31,398 It says so right here. 994 01:02:31,508 --> 01:02:33,976 Y-Y-You got all mixed up with Kipper. Kippers? 995 01:02:34,077 --> 01:02:37,137 Listen, listen. 996 01:02:37,247 --> 01:02:40,808 "I am happy to report that both you and the dog are entirely normal." 997 01:02:40,918 --> 01:02:43,113 Mm-hmm. Normal. 998 01:02:43,220 --> 01:02:45,780 Oh. Well, you're both all right! 999 01:02:45,889 --> 01:02:47,880 Oh, well, sure. I wouldn't want to buy a dog... Yeah. 1000 01:02:47,991 --> 01:02:50,118 Wha... Wha... Wha... 1001 01:02:50,227 --> 01:02:53,424 "I am happy to report that both you and the dog are entirely normal. 1002 01:02:53,530 --> 01:02:55,930 It's wonderful! You're not gonna die! You're both all right." 1003 01:02:56,033 --> 01:02:59,935 You're gonna live! Hooray! It's wonderful! It's great! That's marvel... 1004 01:03:00,037 --> 01:03:02,096 Or is it? Of course it is. 1005 01:03:02,206 --> 01:03:05,607 I know, but that gang... I promised them I was gonna kick off. 1006 01:03:05,709 --> 01:03:09,201 They're gonna be sore about this. Tell 'em you were only foolin'. 1007 01:03:09,313 --> 01:03:12,214 Fooling with an Olympic pistol champion and a duelist? 1008 01:03:12,316 --> 01:03:16,480 If I don't die on time something serious is liable to happen to me. 1009 01:03:16,587 --> 01:03:20,421 L... Here. Nobody will know anything happened; what it's all about. 1010 01:03:20,524 --> 01:03:22,958 We won't tell anybody a thing. 1011 01:03:23,060 --> 01:03:26,291 Oh, Mr. Kidley, we... Now we're really married. 1012 01:03:26,396 --> 01:03:29,263 I mean, just like Ma and Pa and... 1013 01:03:29,366 --> 01:03:32,267 and Mrs. Marko and... well, everybody. 1014 01:03:32,369 --> 01:03:34,735 Oh, yeah! Y... Oh. 1015 01:03:34,838 --> 01:03:37,807 Oh, what about Henry? Oh, yeah, Henry. 1016 01:03:37,908 --> 01:03:40,604 Well... Well, don't worry about him. I'll... I'll take care of him. 1017 01:03:40,711 --> 01:03:42,611 Oh! 1018 01:04:08,038 --> 01:04:09,938 Mr. Kidley. Hello, Henry. 1019 01:04:10,040 --> 01:04:13,339 Could I speak to you for a moment, please? Sure. What's on your mind? 1020 01:04:13,443 --> 01:04:17,880 Well, it's about Mickey and me too. I ain't happy again. 1021 01:04:17,981 --> 01:04:23,317 What seems to be the trouble? I know you don't like me and I can't blame you for it. 1022 01:04:23,420 --> 01:04:25,980 But I like you. Henry, I like you! 1023 01:04:26,089 --> 01:04:31,550 Let me finish, Mr. Kidley. Here you are doin' everything for me, and... 1024 01:04:31,662 --> 01:04:35,496 Well, I want you to know you're one of the finest men I ever met up with. 1025 01:04:35,599 --> 01:04:37,658 Well, Henry, I'm a... 1026 01:04:37,768 --> 01:04:40,566 Heh! I mean, I'm not really like you say at all. 1027 01:04:40,671 --> 01:04:43,435 If you only knew me. I'd double-cross my own... 1028 01:04:43,540 --> 01:04:46,373 Mr. Kidley, I won't let you say a word again' yourself. 1029 01:04:46,476 --> 01:04:49,934 I guess I know a man when I see one. 1030 01:04:50,047 --> 01:04:53,414 I know I'm nothing but a poor bus driver and... 1031 01:04:53,517 --> 01:04:56,384 Well, you could cut me out with Mickey just like that... 1032 01:04:56,486 --> 01:05:01,116 - If you wanted to. - Well, I don't know, Henry. 1033 01:05:01,224 --> 01:05:04,523 Things are different now. I mean, I just found out... 1034 01:05:04,628 --> 01:05:08,689 Shucks, Mr. Kidley. You've done everything to make me and Mickey happy... 1035 01:05:08,799 --> 01:05:12,496 and, well, I guess you know how I feel about her. 1036 01:05:12,602 --> 01:05:15,594 I guess you know how I feel about you too. 1037 01:05:15,706 --> 01:05:18,402 Well, that's all. I just had to let it out. 1038 01:05:18,508 --> 01:05:21,807 Except, I'd like to shake your hand and tell you how sorry I am... 1039 01:05:21,912 --> 01:05:25,939 for bein' such a fool suspicionin' you. 1040 01:05:26,049 --> 01:05:28,415 Well, don't worry about a thing. You're okay. 1041 01:05:28,518 --> 01:05:30,418 Thanks, Mr. Kidley. 1042 01:05:56,480 --> 01:05:59,381 Here, boy. I want you to take this to Mr. Henry Munch. 1043 01:06:03,553 --> 01:06:05,612 Do you know him? Yes, ma'am. 1044 01:06:05,722 --> 01:06:09,123 All right. Here is something for you. Thank you. 1045 01:06:12,929 --> 01:06:17,696 Hello, Mickey. Oh, Mr. Kidley. I was just going to find you. 1046 01:06:17,801 --> 01:06:20,065 Uh, look, Mickey, I just sent... 1047 01:06:20,170 --> 01:06:22,570 I've been thinking this whole thing over. 1048 01:06:22,672 --> 01:06:25,470 I mean, now that I'm gonna live and everything, l... 1049 01:06:25,575 --> 01:06:29,477 It kinda changes the whole setup. It kinda puts a different angle on it. 1050 01:06:29,579 --> 01:06:31,638 I don't know what you mean. 1051 01:06:31,748 --> 01:06:36,151 Well, after all, we hardly knew each other, and this whole thing was a put-up job. 1052 01:06:36,253 --> 01:06:38,483 Marriage is a serious sort of thing. 1053 01:06:38,588 --> 01:06:42,991 You mean you... you don't want to be married to me, Mr. Kidley? 1054 01:06:43,093 --> 01:06:47,496 Well, it was a lot of fun and everything but for it to be for the rest of our lives, l... 1055 01:06:47,597 --> 01:06:51,761 - You mean you don't love me? - Well, frankly, Mickey, I guess I don't. 1056 01:06:51,868 --> 01:06:53,495 Oh. 1057 01:06:53,603 --> 01:06:56,401 Naturally, I'll give you the divorce. 1058 01:06:57,774 --> 01:06:59,799 You won't have any trouble. 1059 01:06:59,910 --> 01:07:03,004 And after everything's set, you must go back to Henry. 1060 01:07:04,314 --> 01:07:06,714 Well, it... 1061 01:07:06,817 --> 01:07:09,650 It was nice being married to you, Mr. Kidley... 1062 01:07:09,753 --> 01:07:11,812 even if we weren't, really. 1063 01:07:11,922 --> 01:07:14,186 Yeah, it was a lot of fun. 1064 01:07:15,292 --> 01:07:18,056 It's kind of a surprise. L... 1065 01:07:18,161 --> 01:07:21,392 I mean, l-I, I thought it was gonna... 1066 01:07:21,498 --> 01:07:25,229 Well, l... I guess that's the way things are with things, huh? 1067 01:07:25,335 --> 01:07:28,361 Oh, sure. Things have a way of always turning out right, Mickey. 1068 01:07:28,472 --> 01:07:30,372 Yeah. 1069 01:07:30,474 --> 01:07:32,874 Well... I'll be seeing you. 1070 01:07:40,750 --> 01:07:42,650 L... 1071 01:08:19,022 --> 01:08:22,082 Kretsky... I have been double-crossed. 1072 01:08:22,192 --> 01:08:24,888 This dog man, he is without honor. 1073 01:08:24,995 --> 01:08:28,396 He will be walking the streets alive, breathing the air... 1074 01:08:28,498 --> 01:08:31,695 listening to the birds, going to the opera, the movies. 1075 01:08:31,801 --> 01:08:35,202 While l... What will I be doing all that time? 1076 01:08:35,305 --> 01:08:39,002 Well, unless you do something, starting tomorrow... 1077 01:08:39,109 --> 01:08:42,169 Your Highness will be rotting in jail. Yeah, heh... 1078 01:08:45,515 --> 01:08:47,574 But what is there to do? 1079 01:08:47,684 --> 01:08:50,676 What is there to do? 1080 01:08:50,787 --> 01:08:53,221 My friend, there is only one thing. 1081 01:08:56,193 --> 01:08:59,356 Kretsky... you are even a bigger stinker than I think. 1082 01:08:59,462 --> 01:09:02,124 Yeah. 1083 01:09:02,232 --> 01:09:04,393 Yes, but that is all very fine. 1084 01:09:04,501 --> 01:09:07,197 But what good is it for me to make him go pfft... 1085 01:09:07,304 --> 01:09:10,796 if to me they are going... 1086 01:09:10,907 --> 01:09:13,501 Your Highness, you amaze me. 1087 01:09:13,610 --> 01:09:18,274 It's all very simple. You make it look like an affair of honor. 1088 01:09:18,381 --> 01:09:20,645 It will not be your first duel. 1089 01:09:22,085 --> 01:09:23,985 Kretsky... 1090 01:09:25,589 --> 01:09:28,057 Kidley, he is in the bag. 1091 01:09:30,260 --> 01:09:32,319 Crepe suzette? Yeah, I guess so. 1092 01:09:32,429 --> 01:09:34,329 Merci. 1093 01:09:36,433 --> 01:09:38,333 Oh, Mickey. 1094 01:09:38,435 --> 01:09:41,632 Oh, you're... you're going. I mean, those are your bags? 1095 01:09:41,738 --> 01:09:44,935 Yes. They're my bags. 1096 01:09:46,443 --> 01:09:49,674 Well... good-bye, Mr. Kidley. 1097 01:09:49,779 --> 01:09:52,543 Well, you're really going. Well, good-bye. 1098 01:09:52,649 --> 01:09:55,049 L-I'll be thinking a lot about you. 1099 01:09:55,151 --> 01:09:57,551 I'll be thinking about you too, Mr. Kidley. 1100 01:09:57,654 --> 01:10:01,317 Mr. Kidley. 1101 01:10:01,424 --> 01:10:05,952 You have tricked us. Oh, this. Smirnov, I didn't know myself. This is all... 1102 01:10:06,062 --> 01:10:09,429 That's right. Until yesterday, he thought he was a dog. 1103 01:10:09,532 --> 01:10:11,796 Really? This is wasting time. 1104 01:10:11,901 --> 01:10:16,668 Yes. Mr. Kidley, I do not like your face. 1105 01:10:16,773 --> 01:10:19,139 Yeah, well, if you had a face, I wouldn't like it either. 1106 01:10:19,242 --> 01:10:21,301 That is an insult, yes? Yes! 1107 01:10:21,411 --> 01:10:24,574 All right. Mr. Kidley, I challenge you... Now, wait a minute! 1108 01:10:24,681 --> 01:10:29,709 I apologize. And I also apologize for that poke I gave you after the wedding. 1109 01:10:29,819 --> 01:10:31,844 What are you apologizing for? Don't take that from him. 1110 01:10:31,955 --> 01:10:34,480 He's trying to pick a fight with me. He wants to shoot me full of holes. 1111 01:10:34,591 --> 01:10:37,526 Oh! Well, well, don't get mad at him. Smile. Huh! 1112 01:10:37,627 --> 01:10:39,686 Something physical. Ah. 1113 01:10:41,398 --> 01:10:45,198 Mr. Kidley, if I should take this pigeonette... 1114 01:10:45,302 --> 01:10:48,100 and push it in your face, what will you do? 1115 01:10:48,204 --> 01:10:50,832 Why, I'd get so mad, I'd probably... How mad? 1116 01:10:50,940 --> 01:10:54,307 Uh, well, sorta mad. Not very! 1117 01:10:54,411 --> 01:10:57,073 No, I'd be more hurt than anything else. 1118 01:10:57,180 --> 01:11:00,240 I'd probably go away and never speak to you again. 1119 01:11:13,797 --> 01:11:16,197 Ouch! 1120 01:11:24,474 --> 01:11:26,840 Why, you... 1121 01:11:30,013 --> 01:11:32,948 There. How do you like that? 1122 01:11:33,049 --> 01:11:36,985 Not bad. I like it. - Yeah, that's very cute. Do it to me, Mr. Smirnov. 1123 01:11:40,290 --> 01:11:42,622 Are they wearing this type this year? Ah... l... 1124 01:11:44,194 --> 01:11:46,594 Why, you, I oughta push in your... Push in my what? 1125 01:11:46,696 --> 01:11:50,359 What? Oh, you can't make him mad, no matter what you do. 1126 01:11:51,468 --> 01:11:53,368 See? 1127 01:11:53,470 --> 01:11:55,370 Uh... 1128 01:11:58,108 --> 01:12:00,008 Very good natured. 1129 01:12:06,149 --> 01:12:08,083 See? Nothing bothers him. 1130 01:12:09,819 --> 01:12:11,719 Does it? No. 1131 01:12:13,723 --> 01:12:15,953 All right, Mickey. I think we sold him. 1132 01:12:16,059 --> 01:12:17,959 Okay. All right. 1133 01:12:20,263 --> 01:12:22,322 This time I think up something for myself. 1134 01:12:22,432 --> 01:12:25,094 Your dessert, monsieur. Crepe suzette. 1135 01:12:27,670 --> 01:12:30,969 Mrs. Kidley, I do not like your shoes... 1136 01:12:31,074 --> 01:12:33,702 I do not like your dress... 1137 01:12:33,810 --> 01:12:36,210 and I do not like your hat. 1138 01:12:38,014 --> 01:12:40,778 Oh! My new hat! How do you like that, Mr. Kidley? 1139 01:12:40,884 --> 01:12:43,682 Why you, l... Let it go! 1140 01:12:43,787 --> 01:12:46,187 Let it go? Just a minute! This gentleman here! 1141 01:12:46,289 --> 01:12:48,689 Now perhaps, uh? Your Highness, you're a cutie. 1142 01:12:52,362 --> 01:12:55,991 Everybody is a witness! I have been insulted! 1143 01:12:56,099 --> 01:12:59,330 Oh, no! You haven't been insulted yet. You have to be good natured too. 1144 01:12:59,436 --> 01:13:02,166 Coffee... 1145 01:13:02,272 --> 01:13:04,172 cream... 1146 01:13:05,742 --> 01:13:08,210 and asparagus and peas. 1147 01:13:08,311 --> 01:13:10,711 Now you have been insulted. 1148 01:13:10,814 --> 01:13:14,443 Oh, you did it for me! That proves it: You do love me. 1149 01:13:14,551 --> 01:13:18,544 Sure I do, Mickey. But what's the difference now? Now, listen, Smirnov... 1150 01:13:18,655 --> 01:13:22,421 We didn't mean it. We didn't mean to throw all those things on you. 1151 01:13:22,525 --> 01:13:25,494 Mr. Kidley, my seconds will call on you. 1152 01:13:25,595 --> 01:13:28,120 We meet at dawn at the Three Dead Oaks. 1153 01:13:28,231 --> 01:13:31,325 I'm sure I'll never find the place. We will take you there. 1154 01:13:36,172 --> 01:13:38,436 Did he say "Dead Oaks"? 1155 01:13:39,542 --> 01:13:41,442 Dead Oaks. 1156 01:14:03,933 --> 01:14:05,833 Mr. Kidley. Yes? 1157 01:14:05,935 --> 01:14:08,335 Please to stand up at that end of the field. That end? 1158 01:14:08,438 --> 01:14:12,397 His Highness does not like to shoot with the sun in his eyes. Oh, that's all ri... 1159 01:14:12,509 --> 01:14:15,069 How do you like that? That guy Smirnov kills me. 1160 01:14:15,178 --> 01:14:17,669 You said it. 1161 01:14:17,780 --> 01:14:21,876 He's supposed to be my second. He's supposed to be on my side, isn't he? Pistols. 1162 01:14:21,985 --> 01:14:25,182 Oh, those are the... Heh-heh! This way, sir. 1163 01:14:28,091 --> 01:14:30,958 He will be ready soon. Don't hurry him. 1164 01:14:35,164 --> 01:14:37,758 Very good. 1165 01:14:37,867 --> 01:14:41,530 Reload, please. Only this time with a little more umph! 1166 01:14:43,172 --> 01:14:45,072 Come. 1167 01:14:51,948 --> 01:14:55,645 What are you doin' now? I'm reloading the pistols. 1168 01:14:55,752 --> 01:14:59,779 With real bullets? Yes, madam. The kind that spread. 1169 01:14:59,889 --> 01:15:01,789 L... 1170 01:15:03,359 --> 01:15:06,294 Hey. 1171 01:15:06,396 --> 01:15:10,264 Jeepers, stop shaking. I don't know why you worry about this. 1172 01:15:10,366 --> 01:15:14,234 I'm in great condition. You know that. This kind of a thing wouldn't bother me a second. 1173 01:15:14,337 --> 01:15:17,135 I just... Jeepers, l... 1174 01:15:17,240 --> 01:15:19,299 Ivan, massage the arm there. 1175 01:15:19,409 --> 01:15:21,639 No, no. Massage the trigger finger. 1176 01:15:21,744 --> 01:15:24,304 All right. 1177 01:15:26,115 --> 01:15:29,846 Mr. Kidley! Oh, John! John, wait! 1178 01:15:29,953 --> 01:15:32,888 Hey, Jeepers! Juno. Oh, John! 1179 01:15:32,989 --> 01:15:35,890 Oh, John, dear. These are from us. 1180 01:15:35,992 --> 01:15:39,359 Me too, Mr. Kidley. Ain't it wonderful? We're gonna be married. 1181 01:15:39,462 --> 01:15:42,590 She swept me right off my feet. I can't believe it myself. 1182 01:15:42,699 --> 01:15:44,894 He's whittled his way right into my heart. 1183 01:15:45,001 --> 01:15:47,231 Yeah, we found the bonds you left me, Mr. Kidley. 1184 01:15:47,337 --> 01:15:49,771 Oh, no. This time it's really love, John. 1185 01:15:49,872 --> 01:15:53,808 Good-bye, John. Good-bye. Good-bye? 1186 01:15:57,380 --> 01:15:59,644 You got everything all fixed now? Yes. 1187 01:15:59,749 --> 01:16:01,808 All you got to do is tell him this: 1188 01:16:01,918 --> 01:16:04,853 There's a cross on the muzzle of the pistol with the bullet... 1189 01:16:04,954 --> 01:16:07,422 and a nick on the handle of the pistol with the blank. 1190 01:16:07,523 --> 01:16:09,684 Oh, I see. Oh, yeah. That's great. 1191 01:16:09,792 --> 01:16:11,692 Gimme that again. 1192 01:16:11,794 --> 01:16:14,024 There's a cross on the muzzle of the pistol with the bullet... 1193 01:16:14,130 --> 01:16:16,428 and a nick on the handle of the pistol with the blank. 1194 01:16:16,532 --> 01:16:19,160 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 1195 01:16:19,268 --> 01:16:21,702 There's a cross on the muzzle... 1196 01:16:21,804 --> 01:16:25,205 It is a question of honor. I will call you. 1197 01:16:25,308 --> 01:16:28,471 ...and a cross... No, a nick on a bullet. 1198 01:16:28,578 --> 01:16:31,103 Huh-uh. On the handle. And... 1199 01:16:33,282 --> 01:16:37,184 Cross on the muzzle of the pistol with the bullet, and a nick on the handle of the... 1200 01:16:37,286 --> 01:16:40,187 Courage, sir. Mr. Kidley! Yes? 1201 01:16:40,289 --> 01:16:42,348 You're not gonna die! I'm not gonna die? 1202 01:16:42,458 --> 01:16:44,517 You're not gonna be shot. Oh, that's fine! Let's get outta here! 1203 01:16:44,627 --> 01:16:47,653 No, wait a minute. Jeepers, you stand right over here. Yes. 1204 01:16:47,764 --> 01:16:50,096 Don't let them see us. Promise me. No, miss. 1205 01:16:50,199 --> 01:16:52,258 I fixed it, see. You have? 1206 01:16:52,368 --> 01:16:54,666 When you pick out the gun, remember this. Yeah? 1207 01:16:54,771 --> 01:16:58,002 Remember: There's a cross on the muzzle of the pistol with the bullet... 1208 01:16:58,107 --> 01:17:00,200 Yeah? And a mick on the nandle... 1209 01:17:00,309 --> 01:17:03,335 I mean, a nick on the handle of the pistol with the blank. 1210 01:17:03,446 --> 01:17:06,847 Oh, Mickey. Give that again, quick. Yeah. 1211 01:17:06,949 --> 01:17:11,283 There's a muzzle on the cross of... I mean, a cross on the muzzle of the... on the... 1212 01:17:11,387 --> 01:17:14,015 Mickey, this is my life. I'll save it. 1213 01:17:14,123 --> 01:17:16,182 There's a... Don't get excited now. 1214 01:17:22,699 --> 01:17:24,599 Kretsky. 1215 01:17:25,902 --> 01:17:28,166 Kretsky, we cannot lose. Huh? 1216 01:17:28,271 --> 01:17:32,139 One of the pistols has no bullet in it. What? 1217 01:17:32,241 --> 01:17:35,074 It is marvelous! 1218 01:17:35,178 --> 01:17:38,079 But how do you know which one? It's very simple. 1219 01:17:38,181 --> 01:17:40,479 There is a cross on the muzzle of the pistol with the bullet... 1220 01:17:40,583 --> 01:17:42,778 and a nick on the handle of the pistol with the blank. 1221 01:17:42,885 --> 01:17:47,049 Brilliant, Your Highness. Superb. What an idea. 1222 01:17:47,156 --> 01:17:50,592 A nick on the muzzle of the pistol with the... 1223 01:17:50,693 --> 01:17:54,561 No, no, no. I said, there is a nick on the handle. 1224 01:17:54,664 --> 01:17:58,657 Your Highness distinctly said, a cross on the handle. 1225 01:17:58,768 --> 01:18:04,001 No, no. I said, there is a nick on the bullet on the handle... You see? 1226 01:18:04,107 --> 01:18:08,168 Attention. The principals will now proceed to the center of the field. 1227 01:18:08,277 --> 01:18:12,043 Mr. Kidley, please! They're ready for you, sir. 1228 01:18:12,148 --> 01:18:15,379 All right. All right. 1229 01:18:15,485 --> 01:18:19,512 I've got it. And a mistol on the nozzle of the pistol with the blank. 1230 01:18:19,622 --> 01:18:23,422 There is a cross on the handle of the muzzle with the bullet. 1231 01:18:23,526 --> 01:18:27,963 No. There is a cross on the handle of the nickel... nizzle? 1232 01:18:28,064 --> 01:18:31,761 No! And a nick on the pullet of the whistle with the blank. 1233 01:18:31,868 --> 01:18:34,496 Yeah, all right. Stand away. I think I've got it. Yeah. Yeah? 1234 01:18:34,604 --> 01:18:37,767 There's a noss on the crizzle of the mistol with the pillet... 1235 01:18:39,242 --> 01:18:42,109 and a pullet on the nozzle of the nickel with the blank. 1236 01:18:42,211 --> 01:18:45,908 There's a cross on the puzzle of the mistol with the bullet. There's a... 1237 01:18:55,458 --> 01:18:59,519 Gentlemen, select your weapons. 1238 01:18:59,629 --> 01:19:02,097 - There is a nickel in the cuzzle... - Huddle on the... 1239 01:19:02,198 --> 01:19:04,826 handle of the bullet with the pretzel. 1240 01:19:04,934 --> 01:19:06,834 Here, here, gentlemen. Come, come. 1241 01:19:06,936 --> 01:19:10,064 There's a cuzzle on the muzzle of the bullet with the blanket... 1242 01:19:10,173 --> 01:19:13,040 and a whistle on the panel of the noodle with the cross. 1243 01:19:13,142 --> 01:19:15,042 Shut up! You shut up! 1244 01:19:15,144 --> 01:19:19,171 Now, really, gentlemen. This is no time for incantations. What? 1245 01:19:19,282 --> 01:19:22,479 Cross! - No! 1246 01:19:32,328 --> 01:19:36,594 The cross on the muzzle! - And a nick on the handle of the pistol with the blank. 1247 01:19:40,236 --> 01:19:45,037 Yeah, blank. Ah, ah, ah. Ready? 1248 01:19:45,141 --> 01:19:48,008 Would you like to trade pistols? I'll give you mine and $40, Mr. Smirnov. 1249 01:19:48,110 --> 01:19:50,169 Thank you, I am very well satisfied. 1250 01:19:50,279 --> 01:19:52,338 I can't shoot with mine. I'm left-handed. 1251 01:19:52,448 --> 01:19:54,848 It will not make any difference which hand you use. 1252 01:19:54,951 --> 01:19:57,511 Gentlemen, take your places. 1253 01:20:03,326 --> 01:20:05,226 Ah! 1254 01:20:07,930 --> 01:20:11,195 On the word march, you will... You dropped your pistol. 1255 01:20:11,300 --> 01:20:13,291 No, you dropped yours! 1256 01:20:13,402 --> 01:20:15,302 Oh. 1257 01:20:17,707 --> 01:20:19,902 Pardon. 1258 01:20:20,009 --> 01:20:21,909 Gentlemen, retire. 1259 01:20:23,312 --> 01:20:26,042 On the word march, you will start walking. 1260 01:20:26,148 --> 01:20:28,912 At ten paces you will turn and fire. 1261 01:20:29,018 --> 01:20:32,954 Ready? March. One, two... No, no! Halt! 1262 01:20:33,055 --> 01:20:35,353 Halt! Exception. 1263 01:20:35,458 --> 01:20:37,517 Doesn't he know the rules? 1264 01:20:37,627 --> 01:20:40,596 Oh, Mr. Kidley. Are you going to go through with this? 1265 01:20:40,696 --> 01:20:44,154 Or do you wish to be branded as a coward? Yes! 1266 01:20:44,267 --> 01:20:46,326 Bravo. D... Very well, then. 1267 01:20:47,503 --> 01:20:50,301 Ready again. March. 1268 01:20:50,406 --> 01:20:53,273 One, two, three, four... 1269 01:20:53,376 --> 01:20:57,745 five, six, seven, eight, Don't hurry. Take careful aim. 1270 01:20:57,847 --> 01:21:00,179 Nine, ten! 1271 01:21:02,518 --> 01:21:04,850 What kind of blanks are these? 1272 01:21:04,954 --> 01:21:09,357 Gee, Mrs. Marko, that sure was white of ya. You sure can shoot too. 1273 01:21:09,458 --> 01:21:11,949 Always remember that, Henry my love. 1274 01:21:12,061 --> 01:21:16,361 Oh, Mr. Kidley! You did it! You shot the hand right out of his revolver! 1275 01:21:16,465 --> 01:21:19,866 Yeah! Imagine what I'd have done to him if I'd had a bullet in it. 1276 01:21:19,969 --> 01:21:21,869 Oh, John, you're wonderful. 1277 01:21:21,971 --> 01:21:25,702 Gee, Mr. Kidley, I got so excited, l... I called you John. 1278 01:21:25,808 --> 01:21:28,572 Oh... that's okay, Mrs. Kidley.