0 00:00:10,843 --> 00:00:13,970 Subscene.com 1 00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:34,639 Your Ladyship, please. Douglas? 2 00:01:35,484 --> 00:01:37,428 The door, Thomas. 3 00:01:37,767 --> 00:01:38,949 Is... 4 00:01:39,372 --> 00:01:41,654 ...everybody here, I presume? - Yes, sir. 5 00:01:41,823 --> 00:01:45,205 - Everyone except the heir from America. - Oh, well, no need to wait for him. 6 00:01:45,414 --> 00:01:49,262 I was notified of his arrival in town today, but I've no faith in it. 7 00:01:49,430 --> 00:01:51,670 So we'll proceed to the business on hand. 8 00:01:51,838 --> 00:01:57,036 To wit, the reading of the will of the late Angus lan McLaurel... 9 00:01:57,290 --> 00:02:00,375 ...a kindly master, a friendly friend... 10 00:02:00,544 --> 00:02:04,347 ...and a loyal Scot whom everybody respected. 11 00:02:04,559 --> 00:02:07,475 - God rest his soul. - Amen. 12 00:02:11,068 --> 00:02:15,631 If you don't mind, I'll omit the legal phraseology, get down to the bequests. 13 00:02:15,801 --> 00:02:17,152 Aye. 14 00:02:17,321 --> 00:02:22,815 "First, I bequeath to my grandson in America, Stanley McLaurel... 15 00:02:22,984 --> 00:02:26,535 ...whom I've never seen, a..." 16 00:02:26,788 --> 00:02:29,788 Laddie, what do you make that out to be? 17 00:03:03,723 --> 00:03:07,019 Could you tell us where we could find a policeman? 18 00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:11,540 You'll have to pardon my friend, officer, he's a stranger here. 19 00:03:11,964 --> 00:03:15,766 I wonder if you could direct us to the best hotel in your fair city. 20 00:03:15,935 --> 00:03:18,936 - Right over there, sir. - Thank you. 21 00:03:19,147 --> 00:03:20,837 Thank you. 22 00:03:39,939 --> 00:03:42,433 No, nothing today. 23 00:03:42,644 --> 00:03:46,870 Good day, madam. We'd like for you to give us a room and a bath, please. 24 00:03:47,039 --> 00:03:51,011 I can give you the room, but you'll have to take the bath yourself. 25 00:03:51,181 --> 00:03:53,800 - By the day or the week? - You'd better make it by the day. 26 00:03:53,969 --> 00:03:57,435 You see, my friend Mr. McLaurel is heir to the McLaurel estate... 27 00:03:57,603 --> 00:04:01,195 ...and we're moving in there shortly. - Is that a fact? 28 00:04:02,633 --> 00:04:06,351 Oh, I can see the likeness now. 29 00:04:06,563 --> 00:04:10,704 - Did you know the old gentleman? - Known him for nigh on to 40 years. 30 00:04:10,873 --> 00:04:13,620 'Twas a sad ending he had. 31 00:04:13,788 --> 00:04:17,171 - What did he die of? - He died of a broken heart. 32 00:04:17,339 --> 00:04:20,466 You see, he had a no-good son by the name of Sandy... 33 00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:22,833 ...who ran away to America and married a queen. 34 00:04:22,917 --> 00:04:27,228 - Royalty? - "Royalty." No, a burlesque queen. 35 00:04:27,396 --> 00:04:32,553 One of those play-actors. And the old man never forgave him. 36 00:04:32,891 --> 00:04:37,074 - Well, what became of Sandy? - They had a wee baby boy. 37 00:04:37,244 --> 00:04:40,963 And when Sandy saw the baby for the first time... 38 00:04:41,257 --> 00:04:44,089 ...he committed suicide. 39 00:04:44,723 --> 00:04:46,836 Can you beat that? 40 00:04:47,006 --> 00:04:49,414 What a face that kid must have had. 41 00:04:49,626 --> 00:04:52,499 Sandy was your father. 42 00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:56,091 And I don't blame him. 43 00:04:56,430 --> 00:05:01,119 - Will you show us to our room, please? - Upstairs, and the first door to the left. 44 00:05:01,246 --> 00:05:02,725 Thank you. 45 00:05:03,698 --> 00:05:05,304 Come on. 46 00:05:06,572 --> 00:05:09,149 Oh, my goodness! 47 00:05:14,432 --> 00:05:19,418 "Therefore, the residue of my estate, real and personal... 48 00:05:19,630 --> 00:05:24,954 ...I do bequeath to my granddaughter, Lorna McLaurel." 49 00:05:25,081 --> 00:05:27,026 Isn't that wonderful? 50 00:05:27,194 --> 00:05:30,364 "I make the above bequest to my granddaughter... 51 00:05:30,532 --> 00:05:34,168 ...providing she accedes to my wishes, to wit: 52 00:05:34,548 --> 00:05:37,251 I do appoint Colonel Gregor McGregor... 53 00:05:37,463 --> 00:05:41,436 ...at present serving with His Majesty's forces in India... 54 00:05:41,605 --> 00:05:44,817 ...to be the sole guardian of her estate and person... 55 00:05:44,985 --> 00:05:47,479 ...until she shall reach the age of 21." 56 00:05:47,985 --> 00:05:49,888 Well, congratulations, my dear. 57 00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:53,142 The proviso is not so bad. You'll like my brother, I'm sure. 58 00:05:53,564 --> 00:05:55,889 - Your brother? - Oh, of course, I forgot. 59 00:05:56,057 --> 00:05:59,185 This is all a surprise to you. Colonel McGregor is my brother. 60 00:05:59,311 --> 00:06:01,847 And he sent me over here to fetch you out to India. 61 00:06:02,017 --> 00:06:06,073 India? You mean, I must really leave Scotland? 62 00:06:06,242 --> 00:06:09,454 Why, it's always been my home and I love it. 63 00:06:09,665 --> 00:06:11,313 There's nothing to get upset about. 64 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:12,962 We'll talk about this another time. 65 00:06:13,130 --> 00:06:16,766 When you're over the shock of finding yourself one of Scotland's richest girls. 66 00:06:16,934 --> 00:06:20,314 Yes. But I'm not going to India. 67 00:06:21,244 --> 00:06:23,696 Alan, you heard what they said. 68 00:06:23,864 --> 00:06:26,230 But you'd never let me go so far away, would you? 69 00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:28,809 Well, l... I... 70 00:06:29,147 --> 00:06:31,725 Or would you? Oh, Alan. 71 00:06:31,894 --> 00:06:35,486 Alan, that's thousands of miles away. Alan, dear, don't let me go. 72 00:06:35,654 --> 00:06:37,387 Keep me here near you. Please. 73 00:06:37,557 --> 00:06:39,417 - I don't wanna go away. - There, my dear. 74 00:06:39,585 --> 00:06:41,782 You come along with me until you can quiet down. 75 00:06:41,952 --> 00:06:44,529 This thing can be settled without upsetting anybody. 76 00:06:44,698 --> 00:06:48,163 - You'll excuse me, I know. Come along. - I don't wanna go. Alan! 77 00:06:48,966 --> 00:06:51,207 Oh, Mr. Miggs, what am I gonna do? 78 00:06:51,418 --> 00:06:55,602 There, there, lad, everything will be all right. 79 00:06:56,405 --> 00:06:59,955 And now, I thank you for your gracious attention. 80 00:07:00,123 --> 00:07:01,688 That's all. 81 00:07:09,505 --> 00:07:12,801 There's no hurry. You'll get what's coming to you. 82 00:07:12,970 --> 00:07:16,816 I'm Mr. Hardy. This is my friend Mr. McLaurel. 83 00:07:17,956 --> 00:07:22,774 - I believe we're expected. - Oh, yes, sir. Step right in, sir. 84 00:07:37,100 --> 00:07:39,467 Just a moment, gentlemen, and I'll announce you. 85 00:07:39,636 --> 00:07:41,285 Thank you. 86 00:07:47,496 --> 00:07:51,343 - Nice fellow, isn't he? - Charming. I think I'll retain his services. 87 00:07:51,511 --> 00:07:55,273 That's a good idea. He sure can "buttle." 88 00:07:58,821 --> 00:08:03,174 - Oh. By the way... Mr. Miggs. - Yes, Mrs. Bunts? 89 00:08:03,344 --> 00:08:07,528 The next time you drop down to Glasgow, you must come up and see me sometime. 90 00:08:07,823 --> 00:08:10,823 - Thank you. - That's Mae West. 91 00:08:12,641 --> 00:08:17,035 - Mr. Miggs will see you. Follow me. - Thank you. 92 00:08:19,277 --> 00:08:22,318 - Right this way, sir. - Yes, sir. 93 00:08:29,461 --> 00:08:32,502 - Order the gig and wait for me. - Yes, sir. 94 00:08:32,673 --> 00:08:35,124 - Now, gentlemen. - How do you do, Mr. Miggs. 95 00:08:35,250 --> 00:08:38,377 I'm Mr. Hardy. This is my friend Mr. McLaurel. 96 00:08:38,545 --> 00:08:42,983 - I'm glad to meet you. Take a chair. - Thank you. 97 00:09:21,904 --> 00:09:26,426 And now, Mr. McLaurel, I'd like to see your credentials. 98 00:09:30,187 --> 00:09:32,512 I beg your pardon, Mr. Miggs, I didn't get you. 99 00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:36,442 I asked Mr. McLaurel if he had any credentials. 100 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:46,711 - Just what do you mean, Mr. Miggs? - Something to identify himself with. 101 00:09:46,879 --> 00:09:51,106 To prove that he is Stanley McLaurel. 102 00:09:51,866 --> 00:09:53,598 For instance, a passport. 103 00:09:53,937 --> 00:09:56,515 I'm sorry, sir, but we haven't one. 104 00:09:56,684 --> 00:10:00,319 - What? No passport? - No, sir. You see, it was like this: 105 00:10:00,487 --> 00:10:03,826 We were in such a hurry to get away, we forgot to get one. 106 00:10:04,038 --> 00:10:07,715 - Well, how did you get into the country? - We stowed away on a cattle boat. 107 00:10:07,883 --> 00:10:10,588 The roughest trip I ever... 108 00:10:11,348 --> 00:10:15,152 Oh, well, if you can't prove who you are, there's nothing to be done. 109 00:10:15,321 --> 00:10:18,448 I wonder if these would do, Mr. Miggs. 110 00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:20,138 - Right there, sir. - Yes. 111 00:10:23,942 --> 00:10:26,942 Oh, I'm sorry. My mistake. That's the one. 112 00:10:28,844 --> 00:10:32,013 - Is that you? - Yes. That was taken three years ago. 113 00:10:32,182 --> 00:10:34,507 You can see I wasn't feeling very good. 114 00:10:34,675 --> 00:10:36,958 - See, my left... - Well, it's proof enough. 115 00:10:37,126 --> 00:10:41,015 - Like father, like son. - That's fine. Now that's all settled... 116 00:10:41,184 --> 00:10:44,311 ...could we get down to business? - Yes. 117 00:10:54,116 --> 00:11:00,158 "Know all men by these present, that I, Angus lan McLaurel... 118 00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:04,088 ...being of sound mind and..." - Pardon me, Mr. Miggs. 119 00:11:04,257 --> 00:11:07,554 - Is it necessary to read that? - Well, no. 120 00:11:07,765 --> 00:11:11,568 Well, let's skip it and get down to what we're going to get. 121 00:11:15,033 --> 00:11:19,724 "First, I do bequeath to my grandson, Stanley McLaurel... 122 00:11:19,894 --> 00:11:25,556 ...whom I've never seen, two of my most cherished possessions... 123 00:11:25,725 --> 00:11:28,895 ...with the hope that he'll preserve them and hand them down... 124 00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:31,599 ...from generation to generation." 125 00:11:34,515 --> 00:11:37,896 You're a very lucky man, Mr. McLaurel... 126 00:11:38,064 --> 00:11:41,530 ...and you'll be the envy of many a true Scot. 127 00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:53,194 Look at that. 128 00:11:53,658 --> 00:11:58,729 Blown at Waterloo, sounding the charge at Balaklava... 129 00:11:58,900 --> 00:12:01,561 ...whistling defiance at Mafeking... 130 00:12:01,731 --> 00:12:06,125 ...and the praise of victory at Mons. 131 00:12:14,535 --> 00:12:18,719 And last but not least, this snuff box. 132 00:12:18,888 --> 00:12:22,649 Presented for valor by Mary Queen of Scots... 133 00:12:22,818 --> 00:12:28,903 ...to your great-great-great-great- great-great-grandfather. 134 00:12:30,847 --> 00:12:33,636 And a grand man he was. 135 00:12:44,878 --> 00:12:48,047 - Is this all we get? - That's all, sir. 136 00:12:48,216 --> 00:12:52,061 And I wish you a very pleasant voyage back to America. 137 00:12:54,851 --> 00:12:57,851 Thomas, show these gentlemen to the door... 138 00:12:57,978 --> 00:13:01,148 ...and tell Lady Ormsby I'd like to speak to her at her convenience. 139 00:13:01,316 --> 00:13:04,360 Yes, sir. This way, gentlemen. 140 00:13:09,515 --> 00:13:11,332 Good day, gentlemen. 141 00:13:27,687 --> 00:13:29,165 There we are. 142 00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:35,631 - Well, here I am. At your service. - Oh, thank you, Your Ladyship. 143 00:13:35,801 --> 00:13:38,928 You know, I'm anxious to have this affair settled. 144 00:13:39,096 --> 00:13:44,548 Here's the probate of the will and the term of the colonel's trusteeship... 145 00:13:44,718 --> 00:13:47,633 ...duly signed, sealed and now delivered. 146 00:13:47,844 --> 00:13:50,888 Thank you, Mr. Miggs. I'll see that my brother gets them safely. 147 00:13:51,056 --> 00:13:54,987 I shall mention your efficient handling of the whole affair. You can depend on that. 148 00:13:55,156 --> 00:13:57,099 I'm worried about the lassie. 149 00:13:57,310 --> 00:14:02,678 This romance with my clerk is more serious than I suspected. 150 00:14:02,846 --> 00:14:07,157 She's got a mind of her own. And if she decides not to go... 151 00:14:07,326 --> 00:14:10,030 ...it will be ruinous for her. - Of course it would be. 152 00:14:10,242 --> 00:14:14,003 Oh, this love affair, or romance as you call it, doesn't mean anything. 153 00:14:14,172 --> 00:14:17,426 - Love affairs at that age never do. - You may be right... 154 00:14:17,638 --> 00:14:21,146 ...but I don't like the job of forcing her to go away. 155 00:14:21,991 --> 00:14:24,062 You won't have to. 156 00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:26,344 The boy will do that. 157 00:14:27,018 --> 00:14:29,766 He seems a reasonable, manly sort of chap. 158 00:14:29,893 --> 00:14:32,893 I know. You send him to me and I'll see what can be done. 159 00:14:33,105 --> 00:14:37,880 Oh, I'll do that at once, Your Ladyship. And thank you again. 160 00:14:38,091 --> 00:14:41,937 Oh, it takes a woman to handle the affairs of the heart. 161 00:14:42,106 --> 00:14:46,797 I'll say goodbye to you for the present and thank you for your gracious help. 162 00:14:47,009 --> 00:14:51,531 - Goodbye, Mr. Miggs. - I'll send the boy to you at once. 163 00:14:58,250 --> 00:15:02,307 Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into. 164 00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:06,786 All the way from America on a cattle boat... 165 00:15:07,335 --> 00:15:09,195 ...for this... 166 00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:12,660 ...Mr. McLaurel. 167 00:15:21,535 --> 00:15:24,239 That isn't the way to use that. 168 00:17:05,452 --> 00:17:07,353 Dry these. 169 00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:15,931 Mr. McLaurel. 170 00:17:24,129 --> 00:17:26,581 Mind your own business. 171 00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:32,792 Blown at Waterloo. 172 00:19:10,370 --> 00:19:12,949 What do you think we'd better do, Ollie? 173 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,864 I expected that. 174 00:19:16,076 --> 00:19:19,035 Every time you get us into a mess... 175 00:19:19,203 --> 00:19:23,048 ...you come to me expecting me to get us out of it. 176 00:19:25,627 --> 00:19:27,442 Well, it wasn't my fault. 177 00:19:27,739 --> 00:19:29,640 What do you mean, it wasn't your fault? 178 00:19:29,810 --> 00:19:34,036 If you hadn't been so money-mad, we wouldn't be here. 179 00:19:37,290 --> 00:19:41,009 There we were, comfortably settled in jail... 180 00:19:41,177 --> 00:19:44,262 ...with one more week to serve. 181 00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:49,419 And you had to talk me into breaking out... 182 00:19:49,587 --> 00:19:53,770 ...just to come on this wild-goose chase of yours. 183 00:20:01,674 --> 00:20:04,886 Well, I guess we'll have to stow our way back home again. 184 00:20:05,012 --> 00:20:09,914 Go to the jail and tell the warden we're sorry for the trouble we put him to... 185 00:20:10,084 --> 00:20:13,041 ...and maybe we'll get our old cell back. 186 00:20:13,168 --> 00:20:16,465 - Be more comfortable to be there than... - Why, if we went back there... 187 00:20:16,676 --> 00:20:21,113 ...that warden would give us life. For escaping. 188 00:20:22,424 --> 00:20:25,635 Well, we could go to another jail where the warden didn't know us. 189 00:20:25,804 --> 00:20:29,016 Serve our week and nobody would be any the wiser. 190 00:20:29,184 --> 00:20:33,200 Pay our debt to society and then we wouldn't have to worry a bit... 191 00:20:33,368 --> 00:20:35,820 Why, if we went to any jail in that state... 192 00:20:36,031 --> 00:20:40,215 ...the warden would give us life. In fact, he'd hang us. 193 00:20:42,455 --> 00:20:45,962 We could go to another state. You know what we could do? 194 00:20:46,131 --> 00:20:48,708 We could go way, way out west... 195 00:20:48,835 --> 00:20:50,821 ...where they'd never find us. 196 00:20:55,554 --> 00:20:57,753 Out west where? 197 00:20:57,922 --> 00:20:59,950 Oh, Philadelphia, Jersey Ci... 198 00:21:00,161 --> 00:21:04,090 Any of those places where they have no exposition laws. 199 00:21:04,261 --> 00:21:06,288 What do you mean, "no exposition laws"? 200 00:21:06,458 --> 00:21:08,698 Well, if the police found out where we were... 201 00:21:08,867 --> 00:21:11,698 ...they could come and get us if we didn't want them to... 202 00:21:11,910 --> 00:21:13,304 If we... If they knew. 203 00:21:13,473 --> 00:21:19,728 That's a very, very, very good idea. 204 00:21:19,896 --> 00:21:24,882 Just as soon as my pants are dry, we'll formulate... 205 00:21:25,052 --> 00:21:27,165 ...our plans. 206 00:21:44,534 --> 00:21:46,267 Step aside. 207 00:21:50,409 --> 00:21:55,395 That's the only pair of pants I've got in the world. 208 00:22:17,158 --> 00:22:18,934 Alan! 209 00:22:21,470 --> 00:22:23,666 Come, lass. Come, lass. Now, hurry, hurry, hurry. 210 00:22:23,877 --> 00:22:26,709 I don't want to. Alan! 211 00:22:55,867 --> 00:22:59,164 - Good morning, Mr. McLaurel. - Good morning, Mrs. Bickerdike. 212 00:22:59,332 --> 00:23:03,348 Where is Mr. Hardy? I haven't seen him in the past three weeks. 213 00:23:03,517 --> 00:23:06,856 - Oh, he's awful sick. - Is that a fact? 214 00:23:07,025 --> 00:23:11,039 Hoot, ma'am. You know, the day he fell in the water, he got an awful cold... 215 00:23:11,208 --> 00:23:13,152 ...and it turned into pneumatics. 216 00:23:13,364 --> 00:23:15,857 - Is he very sick? - You're darn hooting he's sick. 217 00:23:16,026 --> 00:23:19,154 The only thing he can keep on his stomach is a hot-water bottle. 218 00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:24,140 - My, my, what a predicament. - Yeah, I think he's got that too. 219 00:23:24,309 --> 00:23:26,042 Well, give him my respects. 220 00:23:26,210 --> 00:23:28,873 - I surely will. - And also give him this. 221 00:23:29,042 --> 00:23:31,281 It's the bill for three weeks' rent. 222 00:23:31,408 --> 00:23:34,958 I'm getting very impatient waiting for this estate to get cleared up. 223 00:23:35,126 --> 00:23:38,382 We were talking about that this morning. I'll see... 224 00:24:00,188 --> 00:24:02,427 - Who's there? - It's me. 225 00:24:07,625 --> 00:24:09,526 - Come in. - Are you dressed? 226 00:24:09,908 --> 00:24:11,258 Come in. 227 00:24:20,260 --> 00:24:21,401 Where have you been? 228 00:24:21,613 --> 00:24:24,866 The landlady gave me this. It's the bill for three weeks' rent. 229 00:24:25,036 --> 00:24:29,220 There are more important things than this. Did you get me any pants? 230 00:24:29,388 --> 00:24:32,643 - No, but I got something to eat. - What? 231 00:24:37,250 --> 00:24:41,602 - Where'd you get it? - I traded our overcoats for it. 232 00:24:42,066 --> 00:24:47,688 That's just like you. Thinking of your stomach before my pride. 233 00:24:48,702 --> 00:24:50,983 How are you going to cook it? 234 00:24:53,139 --> 00:24:55,547 - I never thought of that. - No, you wouldn't. 235 00:24:55,716 --> 00:24:58,590 Once again, I have to come to your rescue... 236 00:24:58,759 --> 00:25:02,098 ...and be the mother of invention. 237 00:25:12,071 --> 00:25:13,550 What you going to do? 238 00:25:13,719 --> 00:25:15,875 I'm going to cook the fish... 239 00:25:16,043 --> 00:25:17,987 ...over the candle. 240 00:25:22,847 --> 00:25:25,806 I've got an idea that's better than your mother's invention. 241 00:25:25,975 --> 00:25:28,806 - What? - Hold this and I'll show you. 242 00:25:32,736 --> 00:25:34,342 A grill. 243 00:25:35,060 --> 00:25:38,230 Put the candle under there and we can cook the fish on top. 244 00:25:38,398 --> 00:25:41,737 Why, that's exactly what I intended to do. 245 00:25:53,275 --> 00:25:55,514 Now, give me the fish. 246 00:26:07,220 --> 00:26:10,769 You watch the fish and see that it doesn't burn. 247 00:27:35,753 --> 00:27:36,811 How does it look? 248 00:27:37,021 --> 00:27:38,712 Never looked better in all its life. 249 00:27:38,882 --> 00:27:42,685 Well, bring it over because I'm as hungry as a hunter. 250 00:27:52,235 --> 00:27:54,221 Where's the rest of it? 251 00:27:54,476 --> 00:27:55,658 It "shrizzled." 252 00:27:55,827 --> 00:27:59,208 Well, I'm glad you didn't bring a sardine. 253 00:29:19,205 --> 00:29:20,557 What's going on here? 254 00:29:20,854 --> 00:29:24,066 - Mr. Hardy just had a relapse. - A relapse? 255 00:29:24,235 --> 00:29:25,926 He's awful sick. 256 00:29:35,434 --> 00:29:37,545 What are you doing?! 257 00:29:38,602 --> 00:29:42,449 Put it out! Put it out! Put it out! 258 00:29:43,208 --> 00:29:45,068 Do something! 259 00:29:46,167 --> 00:29:48,365 Well, do something! 260 00:29:50,393 --> 00:29:54,704 This has gone far enough! Rent or no rent, get out of my house! 261 00:29:55,337 --> 00:29:57,281 You... You foreigners! 262 00:29:57,662 --> 00:30:00,408 - He can't go out. He hasn't got pants. - Come on! 263 00:30:00,578 --> 00:30:02,649 Pack up your things and get out! 264 00:30:03,535 --> 00:30:05,776 Get out of my house! Oh, no, you don't! 265 00:30:05,987 --> 00:30:09,030 I'll hold these till you settle up. 266 00:30:16,932 --> 00:30:20,102 - What are you laughing at? - Why shouldn't I laugh? 267 00:30:20,228 --> 00:30:24,117 Here am I, Oliver Norvell Hardy... 268 00:30:24,285 --> 00:30:26,779 ...a man without a home. 269 00:30:26,948 --> 00:30:29,780 A man without a country. 270 00:30:29,907 --> 00:30:33,328 A man without any pants! 271 00:30:33,499 --> 00:30:36,794 - Well, I don't see anything to laugh at. - Neither do I! 272 00:30:50,655 --> 00:30:53,319 - Isn't that swell? - Why, that's wonderful. 273 00:30:53,487 --> 00:30:56,530 - What does it say? - Says we can get a new suit of clothes... 274 00:30:56,656 --> 00:30:59,235 ...for nothing. Come on. 275 00:31:04,940 --> 00:31:10,052 - Didn't you hear me say to come on? - Yeah, but you didn't say which way. 276 00:31:10,222 --> 00:31:11,913 I thought you... 277 00:31:19,011 --> 00:31:21,041 - How do you do, sir? - How do you do, gentlemen? 278 00:31:21,251 --> 00:31:22,435 What can I do for you? 279 00:31:22,603 --> 00:31:25,858 Why, we read your advertisement and we've come to accept your offer. 280 00:31:26,027 --> 00:31:28,098 Yeah, we'd like to get measured right away. 281 00:31:28,266 --> 00:31:32,239 Aye. Well, if you'll just sign your name to the bottom of that. 282 00:31:32,409 --> 00:31:33,761 Yes, sir. 283 00:31:44,621 --> 00:31:47,452 Now, if you'll follow me, please. 284 00:31:49,101 --> 00:31:53,158 Major, here's a couple of new customers. Fix them up. 285 00:31:53,369 --> 00:31:55,947 Thank you very much for your courtesy, sir. 286 00:31:56,115 --> 00:31:57,806 Come here. 287 00:31:59,792 --> 00:32:02,116 Here's the king's shilling. 288 00:32:02,371 --> 00:32:03,680 What's this for? 289 00:32:03,807 --> 00:32:07,357 That's to bind the bargain. You're now in His Majesty's service. 290 00:32:08,076 --> 00:32:11,668 - What do you mean? - You're in the army. 291 00:32:17,076 --> 00:32:19,486 What's that got to do with this? 292 00:32:19,654 --> 00:32:21,430 Oh, that's the tailor shop upstairs. 293 00:32:21,978 --> 00:32:23,839 I'm afraid there's been a slight mistake. 294 00:32:24,007 --> 00:32:26,205 We came here to be measured for a suit of clothes. 295 00:32:26,373 --> 00:32:30,050 Well, don't worry. We'll give you a suit of clothes you'll be proud of. 296 00:32:30,176 --> 00:32:32,248 - Sergeant. - Yes, sir? 297 00:32:32,417 --> 00:32:35,460 Have the medical officer thump them over and take them to the barracks. 298 00:32:35,629 --> 00:32:38,037 Aye. You come along with me. 299 00:32:42,433 --> 00:32:43,996 Come along now, you hear? 300 00:32:49,109 --> 00:32:51,053 Do you think they're kidding? 301 00:32:51,223 --> 00:32:55,491 Why, certainly they're kidding. They're having the time of their lives. 302 00:32:55,660 --> 00:32:58,998 - Well, let's tell them we're wise to them. - You heard what the man said. 303 00:32:59,166 --> 00:33:00,816 We're in the army. 304 00:33:00,984 --> 00:33:04,703 Well, I didn't know. I thought we're coming up to get some clothes... 305 00:33:10,915 --> 00:33:14,169 Now, this is the third deed you've spoilt in a week. 306 00:33:14,339 --> 00:33:17,889 I want to assist you, but for the last three months... 307 00:33:18,057 --> 00:33:20,424 ...you've not been worth your salt. 308 00:33:20,635 --> 00:33:23,679 Oh, l... I know, Mr. Miggs, but I... 309 00:33:23,932 --> 00:33:25,200 l... 310 00:33:26,806 --> 00:33:28,877 That's the postman. 311 00:33:29,383 --> 00:33:31,200 A brisk morning, Mr. Douglas. 312 00:33:31,369 --> 00:33:33,271 - Good morning, Mr. Miggs. - Good morning. 313 00:33:33,483 --> 00:33:37,287 Wait. Are you sure that's all? There isn't one for me? 314 00:33:37,455 --> 00:33:39,906 Sorry, lad, but that's all. 315 00:33:44,808 --> 00:33:46,540 Sorry, sir. 316 00:33:51,063 --> 00:33:52,457 - Ollie. - What? 317 00:33:52,625 --> 00:33:53,936 Do you feel a draft? 318 00:33:54,104 --> 00:33:57,781 After what I've gone through, nothing matters. 319 00:34:06,106 --> 00:34:07,756 Come in. 320 00:34:09,488 --> 00:34:11,092 Good morning, Mr. Miggs. 321 00:34:11,348 --> 00:34:16,419 - What ye doing? You're all dressed up. - We're in the army. How do we look? 322 00:34:16,714 --> 00:34:18,869 God save the king. 323 00:34:22,123 --> 00:34:24,532 I wonder if we could ask a favor of you, Mr. Miggs. 324 00:34:24,744 --> 00:34:26,222 Well, that depends. What is it? 325 00:34:26,391 --> 00:34:29,603 You see, sir, we're leaving town. And if any mail should come for us... 326 00:34:29,771 --> 00:34:33,280 ...will you forward it to that address? - Well, I might do that. 327 00:34:33,490 --> 00:34:35,899 "Private McLaurel. Private Hardy. 328 00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:39,872 Third Battalion, Caledonia Highlanders, Pellore... 329 00:34:40,041 --> 00:34:43,718 ...Northwest Frontier Province, India." 330 00:34:43,886 --> 00:34:45,450 India. 331 00:34:45,957 --> 00:34:48,155 Well, that's a coincidence. 332 00:34:48,282 --> 00:34:51,493 That's the station commanded by Colonel McGregor. 333 00:34:51,662 --> 00:34:55,128 If you see Lady Ormsby or Miss Lorna McLaurel... 334 00:34:55,297 --> 00:34:57,832 ...will you give them my regards? - We certainly will. 335 00:34:57,959 --> 00:34:59,353 - Thank you. - Goodbye, Mr. Miggs. 336 00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:01,297 - Goodbye. - Goodbye, Alan. 337 00:35:01,509 --> 00:35:02,818 - Goodbye, Mr. Miggs. - Goodbye. 338 00:35:03,030 --> 00:35:04,509 - Goodbye, Ollie. - Goodbye, Stanley. 339 00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:06,242 Goodbye, Alan. 340 00:35:15,666 --> 00:35:17,695 Well, wait. Wait! 341 00:35:17,864 --> 00:35:19,765 I've found a way out, Mr. Miggs. 342 00:35:19,935 --> 00:35:23,483 Oh, I appreciate everything you've done, but this means more to me than my life. 343 00:35:23,695 --> 00:35:26,315 - Will you release me? - I'll not stand in your way, laddie. 344 00:35:26,527 --> 00:35:29,020 - Oh, thank you, sir. - But where are you going? 345 00:35:29,190 --> 00:35:33,162 - I'm going to Lorna. To India. - To India? 346 00:35:33,331 --> 00:35:34,937 My, my. 347 00:35:47,657 --> 00:35:49,811 The wonders of youth. 348 00:35:50,023 --> 00:35:51,925 India. 349 00:36:28,605 --> 00:36:31,015 Cool them off slowly. They've had a run. 350 00:36:33,297 --> 00:36:36,509 - Happy? - Oh, yes, Greg. The ride was glorious. 351 00:36:36,678 --> 00:36:39,594 - Am I improving? - I would say you were perfect. 352 00:36:39,763 --> 00:36:42,637 - Oh, Greg, I'm afraid you're prejudiced. - Right. 353 00:36:42,805 --> 00:36:44,454 Of all the selfish people... 354 00:36:44,581 --> 00:36:48,257 If it means anything to you two, I've been waiting here for over an hour. 355 00:36:48,890 --> 00:36:53,074 One must admire Vi Ormsby's skill. She's managed the whole affair. 356 00:36:53,244 --> 00:36:55,272 It's a positive godsend for Colonel McGregor. 357 00:36:55,399 --> 00:36:57,470 It hasn't been easy with nothing but his pay. 358 00:36:57,639 --> 00:37:00,428 - Has the girl money? - Oodles of it, my dear. 359 00:37:00,596 --> 00:37:04,443 Comes into one of the richest estates in Scotland when she becomes 21. 360 00:37:04,611 --> 00:37:08,753 - The colonel handles it till then. - Oh, now I understand. 361 00:37:08,922 --> 00:37:11,712 - lf he marries, he'll... - "lf"? My dear, it's as good as settled. 362 00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:14,627 Vi is clever, deucedly clever. 363 00:37:15,133 --> 00:37:16,783 We'd just ridden down by the river... 364 00:37:16,993 --> 00:37:18,304 - Beg pardon, sir. - What is it? 365 00:37:18,472 --> 00:37:20,755 General Fletcher's compliments. Wishes to see you. 366 00:37:20,923 --> 00:37:23,333 - All right, corporal. I'll be over. - Very good, sir. 367 00:37:24,389 --> 00:37:26,798 I'll be back as soon as I can. 368 00:37:29,630 --> 00:37:33,306 You should be very proud of your brother, Vi. He's such a good soldier. 369 00:37:33,518 --> 00:37:36,687 But I am very proud of him. He's too much of a soldier. 370 00:37:36,855 --> 00:37:41,927 I wish he'd forget orders, routines and commands and think more of himself. 371 00:37:42,053 --> 00:37:45,857 - He seems well satisfied. - That's just it. He's too well satisfied. 372 00:37:46,026 --> 00:37:49,618 Content to settle down here and get nothing personal out of life. 373 00:37:49,830 --> 00:37:52,660 He lives too much unto himself. 374 00:37:52,872 --> 00:37:55,069 You know, what he needs is a wife. 375 00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:58,155 Well, are you suggesting we pick one for him? 376 00:37:58,535 --> 00:38:02,338 Listen, Lorna, let's stop fencing. You know very well what I'm getting at. 377 00:38:02,508 --> 00:38:06,606 Greg adores you and wants you to be his wife. Why don't you marry him? 378 00:38:06,986 --> 00:38:11,931 Greg's a dear, Vi. I do like him. Love him in a way. 379 00:38:12,101 --> 00:38:15,184 But I've never thought of him as a husband. Really, I haven't. 380 00:38:15,354 --> 00:38:16,834 You see... 381 00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:20,511 ...most of my heart's been in Scotland. Alan. 382 00:38:20,679 --> 00:38:23,511 Oh, stop it, Lorna. We promised never to speak of that again. 383 00:38:23,679 --> 00:38:26,215 The boy that's never written to you, never thought about you. 384 00:38:26,384 --> 00:38:27,736 Don't be so silly. 385 00:38:27,905 --> 00:38:30,356 Maybe you're right. I am silly. 386 00:38:30,525 --> 00:38:35,259 I'll forget it. I have to. We'll live only in the future. 387 00:38:35,428 --> 00:38:38,555 - And Greg? - Perhaps... 388 00:38:38,766 --> 00:38:41,386 ...and Greg. - Oh, splendid, darling. 389 00:38:46,627 --> 00:38:49,754 Right away. Hurry up. This way. 390 00:38:49,922 --> 00:38:51,781 Everything's ready. 391 00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:55,290 Everything's... Everything... 392 00:38:56,219 --> 00:38:59,642 What are you two holding up this line for? Come on! 393 00:39:01,459 --> 00:39:02,938 Get off! 394 00:39:09,108 --> 00:39:10,587 Ready! 395 00:39:13,799 --> 00:39:15,490 Forward... 396 00:39:15,658 --> 00:39:17,223 ...march! 397 00:40:07,511 --> 00:40:09,202 I had to see you personally. 398 00:40:09,370 --> 00:40:11,611 - Then it's serious. - Very. 399 00:40:11,737 --> 00:40:15,414 - Trouble with Khan Mir Jutra. - That fellow again? 400 00:40:15,541 --> 00:40:18,836 Yet I wish I could meet him and have my way. I'd teach him a lesson. 401 00:40:19,006 --> 00:40:22,345 Well, it's because you've never met him that I'm here. 402 00:40:22,725 --> 00:40:25,260 I'm sending you to Fort Rannu. 403 00:40:25,893 --> 00:40:29,276 Oh, yes, yes. l... I know it's a nuisance, but the fellow's dangerous. 404 00:40:29,487 --> 00:40:31,937 There's only three officers and a handful of men there. 405 00:40:32,149 --> 00:40:35,445 If he goes mad and kicks over the traces, they'll be butchered like sheep. 406 00:40:35,825 --> 00:40:38,488 Take whatever force you think adequate and move up to Rannu. 407 00:40:38,741 --> 00:40:41,277 - At once, sir? - Oh, Monday will do. 408 00:40:41,446 --> 00:40:43,897 Soothe Jutra's feelings, if possible... 409 00:40:44,066 --> 00:40:47,870 ...but if he won't listen to reason, let him have it as hard as you can. 410 00:40:48,038 --> 00:40:49,941 - Right? - Right, sir. 411 00:40:52,433 --> 00:40:53,955 The new draft is nearly here, sir. 412 00:40:54,124 --> 00:40:57,758 - I'll be on the parade ground in moments. - Very good, sir. 413 00:41:35,834 --> 00:41:37,610 Company, halt! 414 00:41:37,778 --> 00:41:39,764 Right turn! 415 00:41:42,005 --> 00:41:44,286 Orders up! 416 00:41:45,977 --> 00:41:47,244 Attention! 417 00:41:49,062 --> 00:41:50,583 Platoon, hut! 418 00:41:53,245 --> 00:41:55,866 Present, hut! 419 00:42:00,767 --> 00:42:02,500 Stand them at ease, please. 420 00:42:02,669 --> 00:42:03,979 Stand at ease. 421 00:42:04,318 --> 00:42:06,683 Stand at ease. 422 00:42:07,530 --> 00:42:09,810 As your commanding officer... 423 00:42:09,938 --> 00:42:12,304 ...I welcome you to India. 424 00:42:13,022 --> 00:42:16,108 - Do you care to say a few words, sir? - Yes. 425 00:42:17,122 --> 00:42:20,165 Now, I want to impress upon you men two facts: 426 00:42:20,334 --> 00:42:25,953 First, that the most important thing with which you'll have to contend is the sun. 427 00:42:26,124 --> 00:42:30,687 Sunstroke can kill a man just as surely, just as swiftly as a native bullet. 428 00:42:30,856 --> 00:42:35,673 And second, you've got to remember that India is truly a land of mystery. 429 00:42:36,223 --> 00:42:40,406 With a great deal that even to us old campaigners is strange... 430 00:42:40,534 --> 00:42:44,042 ...and difficult of explanation. You'll therefore have to take on trust... 431 00:42:44,252 --> 00:42:48,014 ...many things which may appear to you not only unreasonable... 432 00:42:48,224 --> 00:42:49,746 ...but at times... 433 00:42:49,915 --> 00:42:52,789 ...absolutely impossible. 434 00:42:53,169 --> 00:42:55,155 That's all I have to say, Colonel McGregor. 435 00:42:55,790 --> 00:42:58,409 - Dismiss the parade. - Sir. 436 00:42:59,382 --> 00:43:02,594 Company, attention! 437 00:43:03,185 --> 00:43:05,848 Dismissed! 438 00:43:11,467 --> 00:43:12,778 - See you later. - All right, Alan. 439 00:43:12,990 --> 00:43:14,214 - Goodbye. - Goodbye. 440 00:43:14,384 --> 00:43:16,412 I wonder where we get the key to our room. 441 00:43:16,582 --> 00:43:19,921 I don't know. I'll find out. Oh, sergeant. 442 00:43:20,089 --> 00:43:22,329 - What is it? - Where do we get the key for our room? 443 00:43:22,540 --> 00:43:27,062 Yeah, we'd like to take a bath. We're all worn out. Aren't we? 444 00:43:27,315 --> 00:43:32,132 What do you think this is? Get to the barracks before I lose my temper. 445 00:43:32,260 --> 00:43:34,415 - Come on! Get out of here. - All we want is a room. 446 00:43:34,542 --> 00:43:38,598 A room and bath. Come on, boys, clear out. 447 00:44:22,845 --> 00:44:24,787 - Alan. - Yes? 448 00:44:24,958 --> 00:44:26,986 You going to see Lorna? 449 00:44:35,438 --> 00:44:36,706 - Say, Ollie. - What? 450 00:44:36,874 --> 00:44:40,425 What was that the general was trying to tell us that he didn't know himself? 451 00:44:40,636 --> 00:44:42,833 You know, about the mysteries or something. 452 00:44:43,002 --> 00:44:46,003 I don't know. Ask old leatherpuss. 453 00:44:46,172 --> 00:44:49,764 - Who? - Leatherpuss. 454 00:44:50,314 --> 00:44:52,595 Sergeant Leatherpuss. 455 00:44:54,032 --> 00:44:56,821 - Are you speaking to me? - Yes, sir. 456 00:44:58,892 --> 00:45:01,301 Who informed you my name was Leatherpuss? 457 00:45:01,428 --> 00:45:03,034 He did. 458 00:45:04,131 --> 00:45:08,527 My name is Sergeant Finlayson to you from now on. Now, what do you want? 459 00:45:08,696 --> 00:45:11,486 I was trying to find out what the general meant... 460 00:45:11,739 --> 00:45:16,387 ...when he said about the mysteries... - A couple of newies, boys. 461 00:45:17,233 --> 00:45:20,022 Not dry behind the ears yet. 462 00:45:22,726 --> 00:45:27,291 - Explain to them what the general meant. - We'll take care of that. 463 00:45:27,502 --> 00:45:29,277 "Leatherpuss." 464 00:45:29,445 --> 00:45:31,897 I'll remember that. 465 00:45:35,277 --> 00:45:38,108 You tattletale. 466 00:45:51,251 --> 00:45:53,281 "Leatherpuss." 467 00:45:56,237 --> 00:46:00,971 - Why don't you look where you're going! - I'm sorry, sergeant. I didn't see you. 468 00:46:04,902 --> 00:46:08,494 Hey. Did you see that? 469 00:46:08,747 --> 00:46:12,845 That was one of the things the general was talking about. 470 00:46:14,198 --> 00:46:16,861 That was one of them mirages. 471 00:46:19,016 --> 00:46:21,974 You know what a mirage is, don't you? 472 00:46:24,130 --> 00:46:29,581 A mirage is something that you see that isn't there... 473 00:46:29,792 --> 00:46:36,005 ...or something that is there, but you can't see it. 474 00:46:36,216 --> 00:46:39,132 I had one happen to me just about an hour ago. 475 00:46:39,300 --> 00:46:41,160 On the parade ground, it was. 476 00:46:41,330 --> 00:46:43,273 A fellow comes up to me and he says: 477 00:46:43,485 --> 00:46:47,203 "Look, Danny," says he. "Here comes the new draft." 478 00:46:47,583 --> 00:46:51,387 "Where?" says I. "Through the gate," says he. 479 00:46:51,556 --> 00:46:53,669 And I looks up... 480 00:46:53,838 --> 00:46:59,670 ...and do you know what? I couldn't see a blooming thing. 481 00:46:59,797 --> 00:47:03,769 I understand perfectly. Thanks for tipping us off. 482 00:47:06,559 --> 00:47:08,587 You understand what they were talking about? 483 00:47:08,714 --> 00:47:10,615 Why, certainly. 484 00:47:11,502 --> 00:47:13,826 Sounds screwy to me. 485 00:47:15,052 --> 00:47:17,758 Why, there's nothing screwy about it. 486 00:47:17,926 --> 00:47:20,292 You heard what the gentleman said. 487 00:47:20,462 --> 00:47:24,815 A mirage is something you see that isn't there. 488 00:47:25,026 --> 00:47:30,731 Or something that isn't there that you don't see. 489 00:47:31,196 --> 00:47:32,971 For instance: 490 00:47:33,731 --> 00:47:35,591 There it is. 491 00:47:37,830 --> 00:47:39,353 There it isn't. 492 00:47:39,521 --> 00:47:43,536 Now, it's still there, but you can't see it. 493 00:47:48,734 --> 00:47:51,523 That's a mirage. 494 00:47:55,580 --> 00:47:58,115 Gee, I'm dumb today. 495 00:48:00,693 --> 00:48:02,552 Today? 496 00:48:23,091 --> 00:48:24,570 Hey. 497 00:48:25,499 --> 00:48:28,204 So you still don't believe it, huh? 498 00:48:29,049 --> 00:48:32,641 All right, I'll prove to you that there is such a thing as a mirage. 499 00:48:32,768 --> 00:48:36,276 - Where's my accordion? - In there. 500 00:50:32,278 --> 00:50:34,602 Ladies and gentlemen... 501 00:50:34,729 --> 00:50:36,758 ...I have never had a greater privilege... 502 00:50:36,927 --> 00:50:39,673 ...than announcing to you the engagement of a young lady... 503 00:50:39,844 --> 00:50:43,477 ...from bonnie Scotland whom we've all learned to love: 504 00:50:43,646 --> 00:50:46,182 Miss Lorna McLaurel. 505 00:50:48,590 --> 00:50:51,760 And now to tell you the name of the lucky man. 506 00:50:51,929 --> 00:50:56,452 It is my old friend and brother officer, Colonel Gregor McGregor. 507 00:51:00,255 --> 00:51:05,156 Now, let's drink to their long life, health and happiness. 508 00:51:06,001 --> 00:51:07,734 Lorna. Greg. 509 00:51:08,115 --> 00:51:11,411 You can't do that to me. You can't. 510 00:51:11,538 --> 00:51:12,679 - Steady. - Let me go. 511 00:51:12,848 --> 00:51:15,721 Man, are you crazy? What the devil are you doing here? 512 00:51:15,849 --> 00:51:17,708 You don't understand. Let me go. 513 00:51:17,877 --> 00:51:21,215 Now, another move out of you, and it'll be guardroom for you, young fellow. 514 00:51:21,469 --> 00:51:23,836 I don't care. Let me go, will you? 515 00:51:24,004 --> 00:51:25,780 Attention. 516 00:51:36,724 --> 00:51:38,374 Take him out. 517 00:51:39,303 --> 00:51:41,712 Oh, Greg. What do you suppose has happened? 518 00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:44,669 Touch of the sun, I imagine. Probably one of the new drafts. 519 00:51:44,839 --> 00:51:46,191 Poor fellow. 520 00:51:52,318 --> 00:51:53,544 Don't keep doing that. 521 00:51:53,712 --> 00:51:55,827 - You look just like a grasshopper. - Well, I was... 522 00:51:55,995 --> 00:51:58,742 Now if you're gonna walk with me, you've got to keep in step. 523 00:51:58,912 --> 00:52:02,545 Now, go back and get in step. Go on. Get back. 524 00:52:08,208 --> 00:52:11,843 - Now, that's better. Come on. - Hey. 525 00:52:12,730 --> 00:52:15,773 Your pal Douglas wants to see you right away. Says it's important. 526 00:52:15,983 --> 00:52:19,829 - Where is he? - He's in the cooler, that's where he is. 527 00:52:20,971 --> 00:52:25,027 - I wonder what he's doing in the cooler. - I don't blame him. This hot weather. 528 00:52:25,154 --> 00:52:27,520 - I wouldn't mind... - He's not in there for his health. 529 00:52:27,732 --> 00:52:29,506 He's in trouble. Come on. 530 00:52:33,056 --> 00:52:35,888 Will you get in step? Try it backwards. 531 00:52:36,056 --> 00:52:38,762 Now, left, left, left. 532 00:52:38,931 --> 00:52:42,776 All right, let's go. Now you've got it. Fine. 533 00:52:51,777 --> 00:52:53,383 Hey, Alan. 534 00:52:55,369 --> 00:52:57,737 - Hello, fellas. - What happened? 535 00:52:57,905 --> 00:53:02,258 - I don't know. I kind of lost my head. - Lost your head? 536 00:53:02,428 --> 00:53:05,555 You didn't lose your head. It's still there but you can't see it. 537 00:53:05,808 --> 00:53:07,963 - It's one of those things... - Will you shut up? 538 00:53:08,133 --> 00:53:11,218 - How long you in for? - They're gonna let me out in a few hours. 539 00:53:11,429 --> 00:53:13,330 - Will you do me a favor? - Why, certainly. 540 00:53:13,500 --> 00:53:15,105 You're the only ones I can trust. 541 00:53:15,232 --> 00:53:18,528 Try and find Lorna and give her this note as soon as you can. 542 00:53:18,698 --> 00:53:20,134 It's very important. 543 00:53:20,345 --> 00:53:23,684 - We certainly will. Won't we, Stanley? - We sure will. 544 00:53:23,853 --> 00:53:26,347 - Won't we? - We cer... Come on, go on. 545 00:53:26,515 --> 00:53:28,459 - Ollie. - What? 546 00:53:28,628 --> 00:53:30,741 Don't let anyone know about it, will you? 547 00:53:30,910 --> 00:53:35,136 - Nobody must get that note but Lorna. - Mum's the word. 548 00:53:35,348 --> 00:53:38,348 - What? - Mum's the word. 549 00:53:38,897 --> 00:53:41,602 - Goodbye, Alan. - Goodbye. 550 00:53:47,095 --> 00:53:49,293 You two run along. I want to talk to Millie. 551 00:53:49,463 --> 00:53:51,786 She's getting beyond me. Millie. 552 00:53:52,336 --> 00:53:54,956 Her Ladyship. Quick, hide. I'll lose me job. 553 00:53:55,125 --> 00:53:57,493 Quick, in the cupboard. Right there. 554 00:53:57,661 --> 00:54:00,154 Yes, milady. Coming, milady. 555 00:54:00,365 --> 00:54:01,887 Millie. 556 00:54:02,224 --> 00:54:05,056 - Did you call me, Your Ladyship? - You know I called you. 557 00:54:05,225 --> 00:54:08,606 We're going to watch the polo. We'll have dinner promptly at 7. 558 00:54:08,732 --> 00:54:12,578 - Yes, milady. Dinner promptly at 7. - Wait a minute. 559 00:54:13,169 --> 00:54:16,678 Let me impress on you once again: No entertaining while we're out. 560 00:54:16,889 --> 00:54:20,481 - Milady, I wouldn't think of such a thing. - Well, I'm warning you. 561 00:54:20,649 --> 00:54:24,241 The colonel may be back any minute. If he catches you, it's back to England. 562 00:54:24,411 --> 00:54:26,862 - Yes, milady. - Very well. 563 00:54:29,355 --> 00:54:32,018 Ain't she the high and mighty one. 564 00:54:32,187 --> 00:54:35,399 Denying a little girl a bit of sparking. 565 00:54:38,652 --> 00:54:40,217 - Has she gone? - Yes, thank goodness. 566 00:54:40,385 --> 00:54:43,597 I thought for a minute the game was up. She didn't half tell me off. 567 00:54:43,765 --> 00:54:46,048 I heard her. I was a wee bit afraid myself. 568 00:54:46,217 --> 00:54:49,048 It's a wonder you didn't hear my knees knocking. 569 00:54:50,189 --> 00:54:52,049 Oh, Millie, l... 570 00:54:58,007 --> 00:55:02,530 I warned you. Pack your things. You're leaving by the first boat for England. 571 00:55:02,698 --> 00:55:05,361 Give me another chance. I'll try to do better the next time. 572 00:55:05,530 --> 00:55:07,347 No. I've finished with you. 573 00:55:08,742 --> 00:55:11,066 Well, cast me over the hurdles. 574 00:55:11,234 --> 00:55:15,207 I'll get even with you if it's the last thing I do. 575 00:55:20,194 --> 00:55:23,913 I beg your pardon, sir, but could you tell us were we could find Miss Lorna? 576 00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:26,955 - What do you want with Miss McLaurel? - He's got a note for her. 577 00:55:27,081 --> 00:55:30,167 - You have a note for my ward? - No, sir. 578 00:55:30,293 --> 00:55:32,279 Why you... Alan gave it to you in the cell... 579 00:55:32,450 --> 00:55:34,393 Look here, have you a note or haven't you? 580 00:55:34,562 --> 00:55:36,337 - Yes, sir. - Give it to me. 581 00:55:39,548 --> 00:55:41,239 You lied to me. 582 00:55:41,746 --> 00:55:43,563 Report at once to Sergeant Finlayson. 583 00:55:43,901 --> 00:55:47,493 As for you, my man, your actions are commendable. 584 00:55:49,438 --> 00:55:53,621 - You fixed me up pretty, didn't you? - Well, you shouldn't tell a lie. 585 00:55:53,790 --> 00:55:57,044 The first time that you tell a lie, it serves you... 586 00:55:57,721 --> 00:55:59,115 - Who did that? - He did. 587 00:55:59,327 --> 00:56:01,778 - I did nothing... - Report to Sergeant Finlayson at once. 588 00:56:01,946 --> 00:56:04,144 - You see that he gets there. - I did nothing of... 589 00:56:04,354 --> 00:56:08,497 - Yes, sir. Thank you. - I did nothing. I didn't kick... 590 00:56:09,384 --> 00:56:11,962 Vi, who's Alan Douglas? 591 00:56:13,144 --> 00:56:16,315 - Do you know him? - Alan Douglas? 592 00:56:16,483 --> 00:56:19,146 Why, yes, slightly. I met him in Scotland. 593 00:56:19,315 --> 00:56:22,273 He's a raw, uncouth sort of boy who works for Miggs. 594 00:56:22,442 --> 00:56:25,485 - But why all this interest? - He's here in India. 595 00:56:25,654 --> 00:56:27,852 A private in the regiment. 596 00:56:35,669 --> 00:56:38,798 Oh, but, Greg, you are a simpleton. 597 00:56:38,966 --> 00:56:43,023 This is all so plain to me. Just a case of puppy love in Scotland. 598 00:56:43,149 --> 00:56:46,531 You know, promises of undying affection and all that sort of thing. 599 00:56:46,699 --> 00:56:51,306 Then Lorna inherited this money and the boy thought he might as well be in on it. 600 00:56:51,474 --> 00:56:55,869 Most people would do anything for L200,000. 601 00:56:56,124 --> 00:56:58,278 Oh, Greg, tear up this note and forget it. 602 00:56:58,490 --> 00:57:02,419 Lorna's told me time and time again she's forgotten all about this boy. 603 00:57:02,631 --> 00:57:04,829 She loves you and she's promised to marry you. 604 00:57:04,955 --> 00:57:08,506 - Oh, don't risk a scene. - It won't do, Vi. 605 00:57:08,674 --> 00:57:10,745 Sooner or later they're bound to meet. 606 00:57:10,914 --> 00:57:13,068 We'd better get it over with. 607 00:57:13,660 --> 00:57:17,845 - You're not going to give it to her? - I haven't quite made up my mind yet. 608 00:57:18,013 --> 00:57:21,225 Vi, not a word to Lorna about this. 609 00:57:21,394 --> 00:57:23,423 I want to think this out for myself. 610 00:57:23,549 --> 00:57:24,860 For once. 611 00:57:35,213 --> 00:57:39,397 Greg, you've got to cheer up. The next thing you know, there will be gossip. 612 00:57:40,031 --> 00:57:41,679 Walla. 613 00:57:41,763 --> 00:57:43,749 What are you going to do? 614 00:57:45,145 --> 00:57:46,581 Miss McLaurel is dancing. 615 00:57:46,792 --> 00:57:49,498 Take this note to her, but don't tell her where it comes from. 616 00:57:49,666 --> 00:57:51,230 Understand? 617 00:57:53,258 --> 00:57:57,020 Oh, Greg, you fool. You're risking your own happiness. 618 00:57:57,231 --> 00:57:59,217 I'm thinking of Lorna now. 619 00:58:02,935 --> 00:58:04,626 Pardon me. 620 00:58:07,922 --> 00:58:11,177 - Bad news? - Oh, no, general. 621 00:58:11,345 --> 00:58:13,458 Wonderful news. 622 00:58:17,812 --> 00:58:20,347 Lorna. Lorna! 623 00:58:23,389 --> 00:58:24,953 Alan. 624 00:58:25,121 --> 00:58:28,798 Yes. Alan. Look at me. Didn't expect me, did you? 625 00:58:28,968 --> 00:58:31,969 Thought I was thousands of miles away crying my heart out. 626 00:58:32,137 --> 00:58:33,743 Well, I fooled you. I'm here. 627 00:58:33,913 --> 00:58:37,250 Private Douglas, come to pay his respects to the colonel's lady. 628 00:58:37,420 --> 00:58:40,082 - Why, you're mad. I won't listen to you. - Yes, you will. 629 00:58:40,208 --> 00:58:42,829 - But I can explain. - I've seen and heard enough myself. 630 00:58:42,998 --> 00:58:44,645 The money's gone to your head. 631 00:58:44,857 --> 00:58:47,265 I was fool enough to believe you because I had faith... 632 00:58:47,392 --> 00:58:49,295 ...trusted you when you were laughing at me. 633 00:58:49,463 --> 00:58:51,493 - Oh, stop it! Stop it! - I won't stop it. 634 00:58:51,661 --> 00:58:53,352 It isn't true. You must listen to me. 635 00:58:53,479 --> 00:58:56,944 You don't know what you're saying. You don't understand. 636 00:58:57,071 --> 00:59:01,338 My only wish is that I never see or hear of you again. 637 01:01:19,275 --> 01:01:21,978 A strong force, Khan Sahib. 638 01:01:22,317 --> 01:01:24,218 Much stronger than I expected. 639 01:01:26,839 --> 01:01:28,782 This calls for strategy. 640 01:01:30,515 --> 01:01:32,333 How are you, Corbett? Glad to see you. 641 01:01:32,459 --> 01:01:34,150 We're very glad to see you, colonel. 642 01:01:34,319 --> 01:01:36,812 We've been sitting on a powder barrel for two weeks. 643 01:01:36,981 --> 01:01:39,348 Enough has happened to make my small force very jumpy. 644 01:01:39,475 --> 01:01:42,094 - We're all glad you're here. - Thank you. 645 01:01:42,263 --> 01:01:44,165 Dismiss the men. They need a good rest. 646 01:01:44,334 --> 01:01:46,362 Then call the officers to the orderly room. 647 01:01:46,489 --> 01:01:49,025 - We'll go to work. - Sir. 648 01:01:51,180 --> 01:01:55,955 Vi, you knew Alan was here and didn't tell me. Why? Why? 649 01:01:56,167 --> 01:01:57,688 Come in. 650 01:01:59,167 --> 01:02:01,408 I'll come back, Miss Lorna, when you're not so busy. 651 01:02:01,618 --> 01:02:05,084 - That's all right, Millie, come in. - I didn't want to bother you, miss... 652 01:02:05,253 --> 01:02:08,549 ...but I'd like to have a few words with you personally before leaving. 653 01:02:08,677 --> 01:02:10,155 Leaving? What do you mean? 654 01:02:10,324 --> 01:02:13,367 She didn't tell you? I suspected as much. 655 01:02:13,578 --> 01:02:17,593 We'll, Her Ladyship has discharged me and I'm on me way to England. 656 01:02:17,761 --> 01:02:21,861 But you've been awfully kind to me, and it would be hard on me conscience... 657 01:02:21,945 --> 01:02:24,227 ...if I didn't tell you something you ought to know. 658 01:02:24,480 --> 01:02:27,524 - Millie, leave the room at once. - Not until I've had my say. 659 01:02:27,736 --> 01:02:29,636 - How dare you? Leave the room. - Wait, Vi. 660 01:02:29,807 --> 01:02:31,622 - What is it, Millie? - Well, Miss Lorna... 661 01:02:31,792 --> 01:02:35,130 ...you've wondered why you haven't heard from your friend in Scotland. 662 01:02:35,341 --> 01:02:39,906 I'll tell you why. She's been taking your letters, every one of them. 663 01:02:40,328 --> 01:02:43,371 But, Lorna, you can't believe such a ridiculous story. 664 01:02:43,583 --> 01:02:46,371 - The woman's mad. - Yes, Your Ladyship, mad. 665 01:02:46,539 --> 01:02:49,836 But you thought you destroyed those letters, didn't you? Well, you didn't. 666 01:02:50,005 --> 01:02:54,020 Because I fished them out of the fire coals and here they are. 667 01:02:54,696 --> 01:02:59,218 Now, Your Ladyship, put that in your pipe and smoke it. 668 01:03:00,359 --> 01:03:02,937 His letters. My letters. 669 01:03:03,191 --> 01:03:05,472 I understand it all now. 670 01:03:05,769 --> 01:03:08,008 But, Lorna, I did it for your good. 671 01:03:08,177 --> 01:03:10,881 - I thought you'd be happy... - Oh, never mind. 672 01:03:11,093 --> 01:03:14,390 I'm glad I found out before I ruined Greg's life too. 673 01:03:15,911 --> 01:03:19,165 But it isn't too late. I'll go to Alan and tell him everything. 674 01:03:21,066 --> 01:03:24,743 But, Lorna, you can't. He's at Fort Rannu. 675 01:03:26,054 --> 01:03:27,321 This has just arrived, sir. 676 01:03:27,490 --> 01:03:30,575 The messenger's at the gate and demands an immediate answer. 677 01:03:36,323 --> 01:03:37,801 Well, gentlemen... 678 01:03:37,971 --> 01:03:40,844 ...I hope you have no other social engagement this afternoon. 679 01:03:41,013 --> 01:03:42,662 We are dining with Mir Jutra. 680 01:03:42,788 --> 01:03:45,154 - This afternoon, sir? - It won't be so bad. 681 01:03:45,325 --> 01:03:48,661 I tell you what. We'll put on our best bib and tucker and make an impression. 682 01:03:48,831 --> 01:03:50,479 - Eh, Corbett? - A very good idea, sir. 683 01:03:50,649 --> 01:03:51,958 Gentlemen, get ready. 684 01:03:52,338 --> 01:03:55,382 You fellows got nothing else to do? Get out of here. 685 01:04:10,384 --> 01:04:12,243 Do that again. 686 01:04:25,766 --> 01:04:27,879 Show me that again. 687 01:04:52,559 --> 01:04:54,545 Hey! Come here! 688 01:04:56,278 --> 01:04:58,390 I thought I told you to clean this place up. 689 01:04:58,560 --> 01:05:02,025 Well, he told me not to pay any attention to what you said. 690 01:05:02,405 --> 01:05:05,490 Who's running this army? You or me? 691 01:05:06,040 --> 01:05:10,435 Right. Now get to work! And don't let me see a speck when I get back. 692 01:05:10,688 --> 01:05:12,844 "Leatherpuss." 693 01:05:24,929 --> 01:05:26,915 Now do it. 694 01:05:53,286 --> 01:05:55,822 Come on, boys. We'll try number four again. 695 01:05:55,949 --> 01:05:59,455 And for any favor, put some life into it. 696 01:08:56,524 --> 01:08:59,778 - Where did you get this fellow? - We caught this man mining the gate. 697 01:08:59,946 --> 01:09:01,552 Who sent you? 698 01:09:02,186 --> 01:09:04,131 - Quiet, quiet. - Quiet. 699 01:09:04,469 --> 01:09:07,427 We made him talk, sir. We found out everything. 700 01:09:07,554 --> 01:09:09,835 Take him away. Keep him under guard. 701 01:09:10,006 --> 01:09:13,427 - See that he communicates with no one. - Yes, sir. 702 01:09:14,358 --> 01:09:16,936 - What did you find out? - Mir Jutra plans to attack Rannu... 703 01:09:17,104 --> 01:09:19,471 ...as soon as you and your officers are at his palace. 704 01:09:19,640 --> 01:09:23,232 - Blowing the gate was to be the signal. - He's asked for it. He shall have it. 705 01:09:23,402 --> 01:09:25,261 Corbett, call for volunteers. 706 01:09:25,473 --> 01:09:28,938 We'll put them in our uniforms and send them to the palace in our stead. 707 01:09:29,148 --> 01:09:31,557 Then we'll arrange a reception for Mir Jutra's men here. 708 01:09:31,768 --> 01:09:34,304 - We'll capture every one of the beggars. - Very good, sir. 709 01:09:34,472 --> 01:09:37,136 But these volunteers, they're going to almost certain death. 710 01:09:37,304 --> 01:09:38,825 That's the chance we have to take. 711 01:09:38,996 --> 01:09:43,306 The safety of the border depends upon smashing this madman once and for all. 712 01:09:44,615 --> 01:09:47,574 Douglas, my boy, I'm proud of you for being the first to volunteer. 713 01:09:47,954 --> 01:09:51,672 It's a dangerous mission we're going on and we may never come back. 714 01:09:51,842 --> 01:09:56,110 - What matter? - Hey, hurry up, you two! 715 01:10:00,082 --> 01:10:02,322 We wanna thank you for inviting us to this lunch. 716 01:10:02,492 --> 01:10:04,055 Yeah, it sure was nice of you. 717 01:10:04,224 --> 01:10:07,604 You're welcome. Now, get on your horses and let's go. 718 01:10:07,943 --> 01:10:11,197 - Do we have to ride on horses? - What do you think they're here for? 719 01:10:11,366 --> 01:10:13,310 Well, I never rode a horse in me life. 720 01:10:13,478 --> 01:10:17,240 All you've got to do is to get on his back. Come on. 721 01:10:21,847 --> 01:10:25,100 - What are you trying to do? - He told me I had to get on your back. 722 01:10:25,269 --> 01:10:27,510 He means the horse. 723 01:10:33,637 --> 01:10:35,496 The officers have fallen into our trap. 724 01:10:35,708 --> 01:10:39,468 Get them busy on the gate! I must beat these dogs to the palace. 725 01:10:42,469 --> 01:10:45,004 May be a messenger from Pellore. Bring him in. 726 01:10:45,174 --> 01:10:46,483 It's Miss McLaurel, sir. 727 01:10:47,118 --> 01:10:50,118 Miss McLaurel here? lmpossible! 728 01:10:50,921 --> 01:10:53,583 Lorna, dear, what on earth are you doing here? 729 01:10:55,189 --> 01:10:59,288 Greg, I must see Alan Douglas at once. At once, do you understand? 730 01:10:59,457 --> 01:11:02,585 - What's happened? - Your sister held up all my letters. 731 01:11:02,712 --> 01:11:07,022 Made me believe Alan had forgotten me. But he hasn't, Greg. He hasn't. 732 01:11:07,234 --> 01:11:13,402 I must see him and explain everything. Now. At once. Do you understand? Now. 733 01:11:14,628 --> 01:11:18,982 Orderly. Bring Private Alan Douglas here at once. 734 01:11:19,150 --> 01:11:22,319 Private Alan Douglas has volunteered for special duty, sir. 735 01:11:22,912 --> 01:11:24,433 That's all. 736 01:11:25,743 --> 01:11:27,687 Greg, what does he mean? 737 01:11:27,855 --> 01:11:30,095 It means your meeting with Alan will have to wait. 738 01:11:30,222 --> 01:11:32,926 He's volunteered for a duty of importance to the service. 739 01:11:33,053 --> 01:11:35,589 - Is there any danger? - There's always danger here. 740 01:11:35,717 --> 01:11:39,309 I'll make it my job to bring him back to you safe. We're in for a bit of a fuss. 741 01:11:39,774 --> 01:11:43,027 I want you to remain here in quarters no matter what happens. You promise? 742 01:11:43,196 --> 01:11:47,380 I promise. Oh, but hurry back. I'm frightened. 743 01:11:50,423 --> 01:11:52,282 Put a double sentry on this door! 744 01:12:05,087 --> 01:12:08,467 - What are you walking like that for? - Well, the horse didn't fit me. 745 01:12:08,637 --> 01:12:10,918 Well, straighten up. You're going to meet royalty. 746 01:12:17,765 --> 01:12:20,215 Salaam, sahib. Colonel McGregor... 747 01:12:20,385 --> 01:12:23,597 ...I welcome you and your staff to my humble home. 748 01:12:23,807 --> 01:12:25,498 Be seated. 749 01:13:15,280 --> 01:13:19,675 Colonel McGregor, would you and your staff join me in a pipe of friendship? 750 01:13:19,929 --> 01:13:22,252 Why, we certainly will. 751 01:13:26,182 --> 01:13:28,507 Well, cheerio. 752 01:14:20,740 --> 01:14:24,883 Remember, not a shot is to be fired until you get the word. Carry on. 753 01:14:25,009 --> 01:14:26,825 - Very good, sir. - Very good, sir. 754 01:14:56,999 --> 01:14:59,704 Throw down your arms and surrender! 755 01:15:13,058 --> 01:15:15,382 Let the festivities proceed. 756 01:15:33,215 --> 01:15:35,456 Would you pass the butter? 757 01:15:41,836 --> 01:15:43,189 Well? 758 01:15:43,992 --> 01:15:45,472 Good. 759 01:15:45,852 --> 01:15:47,542 Very good. 760 01:15:48,134 --> 01:15:49,993 Remove the food. 761 01:15:54,008 --> 01:15:56,712 - What's the idea? - The time for pleasure is done. 762 01:15:56,881 --> 01:15:59,416 - What do you mean? - I mean that Fort Rannu is no more. 763 01:15:59,586 --> 01:16:02,798 Your comrades are being wiped out. And ere the sun sinks... 764 01:16:02,966 --> 01:16:07,531 ...your bones will join theirs and lie bleaching in the desert wastes. 765 01:16:12,602 --> 01:16:15,603 Get the boiling oil. Prepare the rack. 766 01:16:15,729 --> 01:16:19,701 - We'll teach these dogs a lesson. - You'll not take us without a fight. 767 01:16:19,869 --> 01:16:21,475 Seize him! 768 01:16:26,885 --> 01:16:28,703 There is no escape. 769 01:16:30,012 --> 01:16:31,744 Take those. 770 01:16:33,267 --> 01:16:35,210 - What are these for? - You are to use those... 771 01:16:35,422 --> 01:16:36,942 ...to blow your brains out. 772 01:16:37,662 --> 01:16:40,198 - I never blew my brains out before. - Take him away. 773 01:16:40,451 --> 01:16:43,917 I don't know what... I don't know what to do. 774 01:16:50,804 --> 01:16:54,777 - Goodbye, Ollie. - Goodbye, Stanley. I'll see you later. 775 01:16:54,988 --> 01:16:58,284 - I'll be waiting when you get to heaven. - Well, how will I know you? 776 01:16:58,495 --> 01:17:02,384 I'll be waiting at the gate. And I'll have on wings and a harp in me hand. 777 01:17:02,637 --> 01:17:04,750 Well, so will all the rest of the angels. 778 01:17:04,835 --> 01:17:08,384 Well, I'll keep me hat on, then you'll know me. 779 01:17:08,764 --> 01:17:11,259 Enough! Enough of this nonsense. 780 01:17:11,427 --> 01:17:15,231 Proceed, or I shall change my plans. 781 01:17:15,611 --> 01:17:18,780 - Goodbye. - Goodbye, Stanley. 782 01:17:22,372 --> 01:17:23,936 Remove the body. 783 01:17:30,655 --> 01:17:33,866 - What happened? - I missed myself. 784 01:17:34,037 --> 01:17:36,276 Well, I won't miss. 785 01:17:37,417 --> 01:17:40,882 - Khan Sahib! Khan Sahib! - Speak. 786 01:17:41,094 --> 01:17:42,573 - Allah deserted us. - What mean you? 787 01:17:42,784 --> 01:17:44,982 Disaster. Colonel McGregor knew your plans. 788 01:17:45,150 --> 01:17:48,573 He was there and captured all your warriors to the last man. 789 01:17:48,742 --> 01:17:51,616 Colonel McGregor there? Then who are you? 790 01:17:51,785 --> 01:17:55,208 Why, I'm Mr. Hardy. This is my friend, Mr. McLaurel. 791 01:17:55,377 --> 01:17:56,941 We thought we'd come over and have... 792 01:17:57,152 --> 01:17:58,631 Seize them, men! 793 01:17:58,800 --> 01:18:01,294 One more step and I'll shoot! 794 01:18:03,660 --> 01:18:06,068 Don't point that at me. 795 01:19:04,260 --> 01:19:05,697 There they are. Shoot! 796 01:20:20,834 --> 01:20:22,905 Subtitles by SDI Media Group 797 01:20:23,075 --> 01:20:25,187 [ENGLISH]